Unsent messages to MICHAEL

hey, i kinda wish that you weren’t such an ass. my friends warned me about you but oh well ? you almost, almost, made me like you. like you actually had a great personality when we talked but look at ye now :) I actually thought you were pretty cute but ahhhh i convinced myself that you just put up with me because ur lonely, anyways have fun with the other six girls on your bsf list x

I wish we got a second chance. We had that once in a lifetime kind of love. Why did you have to leave and break me into a million pieces.

I want to tell you how much I love and miss you every day. But then I remember you left, and don't care anymore.

I thought you loved me, you said you would never leave and we was forever? I guess that was all just a lie:/

Hi, you are the person that genuinely makes me happy. I wish I could confess this in real life, but my scared self can't do it.. I like you but..let's hope I can someday confess about it :)

Lowkey think you were my first love even though we never dated, I really did love you with everything thing I had but I was never sure that's why I never say I love you when you say it....but I do really love you.

u know u made me feel different. u made me feel things that i cant even explain. ik u were going through some things and u wanted time so i gave u time to make sure u felt better. i made sure to text u mostly everyday to make sure u were okay and u just left without saying anything... i think about u.... i hope ur doing well

This is the second message I've written b/c I have a whole note section dedicated to unsent messages... I was just wondering when it ended for you? because i knew it was done when "I'll call you" turned into " I fell asleep" and "sorry" turned into every other message. When you stopped calling to say hi... or really calling at all. I hope she was great but I hope you know whats happened to me since... I wish I could've told you everything that I hid for those 2 months because I thought you were already so tired of me I held all my problems in... i'm falling apart but I guess everything happens for a reason. Theres so many things I want to say ... good, bad, mean but I don't know how.

It's crazy to me that you want to still stay friends, and I'm the one putting in all the effort. It's like a repeat of when we dated. I'm getting tired. I just want to rest for a bit and be doted on for once, even just for five minutes. Please.

The moment I knew my heart dropped and I sat in my closet crying. I wanted to call you right then and there and scream into the phone never talk to me again because you were everything you told me to stay away from. Everything you promised to protect me from. And most importantly everything you said you’d never be. But I was and always will be so different with you because even if you hurt me more than I thought anyone ever would I would beg you to stay because I need you to breathe … I didn’t want to think of a day waking up and not texting you or telling you every detail of my day that no one else would care to hear. I think the thing is I knew what my gut said but I ignored it because I wanted to do everything with you. I’m angry at myself if I’m honest… I’m mad that I knew what was happening and I let myself slowly break waiting and hoping that something would change when I knew it wouldn’t . You can say whatever but I think that we both know it's bullshit. In all honesty you fed me excuses to comfort yourself , .. because we all make choices , It was a personal choice and that’s your choice and it is completely fine. But I just hope you remember that eventually when you do get bored… of that rush from some random hookup or having however many fuck buddies that the girl who was always down for you… the one who would love you when you were bald… or going deaf cause you were old and even on every bad day… that she was the one you chose to leave. I hope you see one day that I didn’t stay because I was your best friend … I stayed because I wanted to be with you no matter what because you were my everything . And you chose what direction that lead to but I can’t sit here and pretend its ok or that i'm ok…because while I waited for the text that never came every night I also slowly lost myself until eventually I didn’t know who I was… I wasn’t happy , I wasn’t the girl who loved every little detail of life, or who ate without a care in the world. I became someone who stuck a smile on , and who stopped eating thinking it would make me prettier… I wanna fall involve with myself.. because I lost her a long time ago. I hope one day you realize that I gave you my all... more than I ever have. I hope you know that i wrote important things you told me down becuase I knew i'd forget with my memory loss. I hope you know that I still text your friends to check in because I can't go longer than an hour without thinking about you. I'll never believe in pinky promises, or I love you's , or any pact... because we were suppose to be forever and now I know not even thats true. I love you more than I could ever explain. I hope you still stare at the stars and love life's little things. I'll have you forever in my heart Mike B ... I wish I could erase the pain. But I wish you the best.

I wish you would have taken the time to notice me and the little things I did for you, I keep telling myself to get over you, but I can't do it, you ruined me.

you do not talk to me. you make fun of people. you like trump. but you are the only person that can make me smile.

hey, it has been a while since we last talked. i want to know how you're doing and I want to know that you're okay. you were and always will be my first love and I am here for you for anything. it's been 2 years but I still think about you all the time. you're mad at me and I completely understand, I wasn't the best person mentally at the time and I have gotten better. if you ever get around to seeing this, please let me know how you are. goodbye.

Hey, I know it's been hard lately and I want you to know I'm always here for you no matter what. I do wanna tell you one thing tho. You already know I like you and everything. But I honestly do really like you. And you may not feel the same as me but, It's hard to see you like you were today :(. I love seeing you laugh and everything and really does make my day. It also makes my night when we ft. I really enjoy that because I've never had someone like that to me. But I really do like you and it's hard to explain because I think you like someone else, but it's okay if you do I understand because no one likes me but I really hope your night gets better and everything.:) I also enjoy talking to you and everything. No matter whats it about even if it's that little convo we have in class I really enjoy it. And I may be rude sometimes but that's me being me. And I don't even like that. I really do like you and everything but I cant tell you that because I feel like ill be judge hard lol. But if anything is wrong let me know because I'm always here for you and I want you to remember that.

haha I finally spelled your name right anyways you think i dont miss you but i do you made me feel a way no one has before I wish we could try again but its best not

Dear michael,
It’s been two months since we were together. i’ve gone so long without seeing you. hearing ur kind voice. your joyous laughter. I haven’t gone a day without missing you. i miss those soft kisses and heart melting cuddles that i wanted to last forever. i miss those brilliant blue eyes, and your soft dark hair. i miss talking to you after a hard day and feeling so loved that all my problems felt as if they melted away. I miss staying up all night talking to you about our future. i miss binge watching shows for hours on end until nights darkness turned to dawn. I miss our bike rides to the park where would lay in your hammock for hours overlooking the immensely blue water. i miss being able to be myself around you. I miss acting like complete idiots together and laughing at the dumbest things. i miss you teaching me how to play video games and even though i would be terrible at it you still would be so proud of me. I miss everything about you. You came into my life and took away my darkness. now that you’re gone i can slowly start to feel it come back. i’ve never met anyone like you and i’m not saying that to be cliche. i’m saying it because you moved me in ways no one else has. I love you now and forever.

Summer 2020. We got sooo close and you instantly became my best friend. You've been there for me since the day we met. I've cheered you up and you've cheered me up. I know that anything I tell you, no one would ever know because you would never tell anyone anything about me. I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you but i can't. You my little stick buddy and i can't loose my bsf...
but tbh i really am falling for you and I'm trying to get over it by talking to John but your on my mind 24/7 and idk how to fix it. Why does this always happen!!!!! I always for the people I shouldn't be falling for!!! Anyways... love you (i think)

its probably been a full year and I was completely over you but I had a dream and u were perfect, why couldn't we have been just as good?

i actually rlly loved you. you’re not like any boy i’ve ever met. sweet, polite, but also had a mean side. you were a perfect mix. i will always be waiting for you.

thank you for putting a smile on my face every morning, you will never understand how much you help me just by being my friend.

i watched from a distance as you lived your life. You dated other girls, hung out with them, but never me. I even watched my best friend fall in love with you too. No one will ever know how much I love you, and you will never love me back.

If something ever happens to me, know that you weren't the reason.

You were just the tipping point.

xoxo

i still think about you everyday. even tho u did me so wrong, i can’t get over you. i think... maybe i still love you.

im still not over you and it makes me upset that i cant get over you because your so happy doing your own thing and im glad your happy and living your life i just wish you hadden left me in the dust ya know

i miss you so much, please come back i’ve been waiting for you for months :( i still hold on to the memories and still have your hoodie :/

i miss you so much, please come back i’ve been waiting for you for months :( i still hold on to the memories and still have your hoodie :/

i miss elementary school with you, we were best friends. now we’re different, but that’s okay. i hope you reach all your goals even though we are on different paths.

I know you have a girlfriend and I respect that but my feelings for you are unexplainable and I wish I was with you to help you and see you grow with all the potential you show. i love you

Crazy thing is I still have hope although you seem to not like me more than a friend. I still dream about the day both of us are happy together

you broke my fucking heart bro. i genuinely saw myself marring you. you lead me on so bad holy hell. i’ve never loved someone more in my whole life. why do we have to be just friends i can’t be just friends w you i’m in fucking love w you wtffffff. i hate myself for loving you.

you hurt my heart real bad. kinda sucks that once i finally poured out my feelings u turned me down but it's probs fine. i don't want to tell you how sad i am because i know you're going through so much with your dad and everything, so i just keep it to myself. but deep down i just want to tell you how bad it hurts. also i hate that we're talking like we're just friends now. like stop asking me things about me and just have sex with me bro. i mean daddy. hehe. also i will never look at my cheeta print underwear the same after what u told me ;)

You led me on while you had a girlfriend, and I still can’t stop thinking about you. How pathetic is that?

i simped for u wayyyy too hard. u were probably my first love even if u didn't like me back. still love u as a friend

you’re the only one who knows everything about me, you’re the only one who truly understands me. i miss you

I feel like your my soulmate but I’m not your’s. I hope you and your girlfriend have a loving relationship...you deserve all the love in the world.

hey, its me again. my friends are tired of hearing about you so here i am once again. its been a little over a year, i miss you. the hugs, the kisses, the way you made me feel when you would hold me. but its over now and you moved on but i clearly didnt. ive tried i rly have with other boys but nothing feels the same. the only thing the same in the end is the hurt they caused me, i think its because i would always talk about you. they knew I still missed you and they were right. whenever i drive past your house i peer back to see if your lights on just to make sure you got home safe. whether im your girl or not i still care about you. it hurts me how easily you were able to move on but i understand, who wants the broken girl anyway...right.

you finally made me feel okay for the first time in a long time. i still don’t know what happened but you hurt me beyond repair. i wish things could just be normal between us, i miss you but i know you don’t feel the same.

you finally made me feel okay for the first time in a long time. i still don’t know what happened but you hurt me beyond repair. i wish things could just be normal between us, i miss you but i know you don’t feel the same.

i want to be part of you life but i know i’m not the right girl so i hope i can make you happy as a friend and i hope she loves you as much as i do

i want to be part of you life but i know i’m not the right girl so i hope i can make you happy as a friend and i hope she loves you as much as i do

I regret it so much, rejecting you because I couldn't get over myself. Now the distance between us will never change.

I dreamt of you last night. You pat me on the head and gave me a smile I haven't see in years. I blushed like a middle schooler. I miss you.

I wish I wasn't such an emotionally manipulative bitch, I wish I could show you I changed but you're with someone else and you look happy. My Dad said you couldn't talk to me till I was 18 and the night I turned 18 I waited up all night for a message from you. It's so sad to admit, I tell everyone I'm over you but I'd give anything to get you back. I deleted my Facebook so I couldn't see you with her. Your happy faces on your wall. I haven't been happy since you left and I hate you and myself for the fact you find happiness so easy.

i just wish you weren’t afraid to love me back. you’ll never not be perfect for me. i’ll always love you.

I hope one day you find someone that you truly love, and you don't have to pretend, like you did for me.

Hi mike. I know I don’t act like it but I miss you so much. Ever since we stopped talking I’ve been hurting so bad, I literally cry everyday. I know I’m the one that ended it, and I regret that everyday, but it rlly hurts seeing you with other people when I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t think we are ever gonna talk again, so I hope you find love and happiness, even if it’s without me. Love you forever

I used to smile just seeing your name pop up on my phone. Now I act like you don't even exist. Boy, you fucked up.

You brought me the happiness i thought would never be there but you took it away the second you left.

its been two years , its not getting any better . please come back i can't do this without you . im sorry for hurting you but i need you back.

I know I should hate you but I can’t. I saw you today and I hate how it made me feel. My hands were shaking. I hate how we ended things and I hate that we fucked up what we had by deciding to fuck around and I hate that even after we couldn’t be friends because of her. I hate that you didn’t tell me and I hate that I had to find out before you told me. I hate that you did want you did knowing you were hers and never mine. I hate that I fell stupidly for you and that a small part of me wanted you and I hate that I wanted to be her because she had the one thing I would never have the one thing I had for only a small period of time. You. But you, you led me on the way you acted wasn’t just a fling and the more I think about it the angrier I get because fuck you and the more I think about it the more I realize what I thought I felt for you was exactly how I wished no other girl be treated because you made me feel like shit Michael. And the sad part it I know we could have been great friends if we wouldn’t have taken that stupid step but now I realize your a piece of shit and she’s an idiot for staying with your lying cheating ass but yea this is everything I never said. I hate myself for still feeling something for you but I know it will go away soon.