Unsent messages to LUKE

it's best we didn't work out. go have fun with your ex

i will never forget what you’ve done to me.

My love , please reach out to me , I still love you ❤️

i love you so much bb, im sorry im so hard to deal w

every time i get a notification on my phone, i hope it's you

I wish you knew how much I really love you.

i miss talking to you

i love you. i miss you. please come back. you promised.

i miss u, u were great up until the end, i forgive u.

I don’t regret loving you, I hope you’ve found your peace.

Every night I pray that we cross paths again

u left me on sent, i miss u.

I wish I got the loving luke instead of the emotionally unavailable luke. I wanted you to love me so bad.

Please stop it it makes me so scared. It’s hurting me and I’m not even seeing you. Why can’t you see it’s hurting me and I know you’re getting things off your chest but it hurts it makes me feel sick. I stay up worrying about you this is exactly what I mean by I can’t do this shit luke my head hurts and I never told you how fucked up I used to be because I didn’t want to worry you luke. You can’t keep putting it on me I want to hear you’re getting better not worse but if you keep telling me how that’s going it’s only hurting me more

Two years with barely any contact, too then dancing together one random night. I loved every second even though I shouldnt have.

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know that’s harsh but you know what I’m like luke. You need to pick yourself up qnd get on with it no one else is going to tell you like I will okay? I do miss you but I know it’s not good for me and I’m really struggling and I’m not moving forward. I want it to be like if we saw each other we’d be calm having a conversation which I know it will be but I can’t have this thing between us saying I love you still because it hurts both of us and you need to understand it’s not good luke. I’ve said spill what you need but you need to stop telling yourself you love me because it’s not helping you. You’ve got so much going for you luke and I have never felt so proud of someone before in my life. But you need to prove to yourself and not anyone else that you can do it. I know people don’t say that stuff to you often so that’s why I wanted to tell you. It’s going to be okay. I promise you can just hang in there a little longer and find joy in little things again. I belive in you lukey. I hope you understand

You need to move on now luke because nothings going to get better if you’re strung up around me. You lived without me once you can do it again. This isn’t helping you at all. I know you can pick yourself back up luke I know it because I’ve seen you do it before. Everything gets better eventually. Just you’ve got to stop thinking like this and that I’m coming back because I’m not. And I know that’s hard to hear ans it’s hard for me to say too but I’ve said it before maybe sometime it’ll work but that’s in years to come and you’ve got uni to be thinking about. Bigger things luke. Think big. You can do it I know you can that’s all I ask. Just don’t let me down.

I wish u would be honest with me. i wish you would tell me how u really feel. i wish u would throw yourself in and not look back.

i still love you despite how much i hate you for what you did. i wish we could go back to summer 2019

It wasn’t the same because it wasn’t working and that was on me. I’m sorry. But the last few months were perfect leading up to Christmas and like how it was at the start. I was happy and I think you were too and that’s all we both wanted. But you that changed too and that’s okay because change happens all the time I forgive you. That’s all you need to hear stop beating yourself up.

You can do it I know you can. Just take one step at a time. It’s going to be okay. Remember I’m always right xx

Was I nothing to you? Did I really mean nothing to you? Why did you do that? Man you were a really good person but why did u do that?

i think about your every day but i see you and you have never looked happier. im beyond happy ur happy :)

Thank you for showing me how to be happy, I only wish we were still close. You have a special place in my heart, stinky :)

I know and I want to hear about your day and I asked how you were to Gaby to see if she'd seen you around college to check up on you. But if you want to talk to me just send a message on here and just know I'll read that. I've changed a lot from that shitty art room but I haven't changed the way I feel about you. Luke listen I can't speak to you directly because it hurts that's why I did this and I've written on here various times in the last 5 months and even when we were together. But I've got to do it for me I hope you understand why I can't message you. I love you still

im not going to lie to you Luke because I hid it from you Lon enough and you know I distract myself and I didn't want to tell you because I know you're going through it too. but im struggling so much and I've gone back to my old habits Luke my skin stings in the shower and my stomach growls all the time. I want you to promise me you'll get better because I know you can because youve done it before so you can do it again I believe in you. I think it was your message about the hospital and I worry about you Luke but I can keep projecting things onto you and you can't do it for me that's why we broke up the pressure you can't physically make someone better but leaving your hurt on them as it hurts them too and eats the up inside and I know that goes both ways. I can't message you properly or see you and I know I said id see after new year but I can't do it Luke im sorry. it will ruin me and im trying to get better and I know that's selfish but as I said its not going to work maybe when we do find each other when we're both older and almost forgot maybe we.ll come together. I didn't believe in right person wrong time until I met you. but that's it Luke thats now all I can do. just know ill love you forever I still remember everything about you the way your eyes crease when you smile and the beautiful colour they were when you could see them when you weren't high. They were the colour of this post. ill never forget and never forget that

I would've happily had my heart broken by you. I still long for the chance to tell you how much I love you.

You were a neutral good. Like soupy oatmeal. I fell for your eccentric mind and the dreams you inspired me to tell. I don’t know how I fell so hard, you never noticed I did, and then it was October.

I keep checking to see if you’ve written to me on here. Please I need to hear from you. Just spill it all out.

it hurts because I just want one more hug. I just wish we could still talk but I know we can’t because it hurts me too much so please tell someone how its going, how home is, how your parents are because I know its hard but please tell or talk to someone if its not me. Trust me you worry to much about what other people think, they won’t think your weird or not like you if you tell them something about you trust me. I’m always right remember? I loved you then I loved you when I broke up with you and I still love you know. I just wished you knew how much everyone cares about you. I don’t think we will get back together and Im fine with that because we are well and truly just so different from each other. I’m fine with it I just miss you. I just wish I had done better, sometimes I forget what happened and imagine that you’re on your way to pick me up like you did in summer and we’d sing those songs back when we were okay. But all I wanted was for you to be happy and yet here I am still crying over you ans missing you even after what you put me through? I still love you and I think I always will that happens with first loves. You were my person but yoyre not anymore ans that hurts because when I feel like this I know you were the only one who really knew me luke. You were the one who I could go to and I know it took a while ans I miss you for that because I have no one. But it’s okay. I’m sorry it had to be this way but you have to promise me still that you carry on pushing through and doing what you’re doing no matter how hard it gets. You can’t break a pinky promise. I’ll love you always dickhead and I’m sorry that was the top most of my affection when we were together and I wish I’d loved you harder when we were together because it’s what you needed and I’m sorry. I’m so fucjing sorry luke. I wish you’d come back but I know it’s not good for either of us. I love you endlessly

before i met you, i never thought i would get better. i never thought i would see happiness again. but i have learned to find that you are my happiness. everything about you makes me smile, like your blue eyes, brown hair, your freckles, the way you smile, your ability to light up any room, and so much more. i didn't know what perfect was until i met you. i love you so much and i can't imagine how my life would be without you. thank you.

u took the only thing i can’t get back and then pretended i was no one. yet i came back again and again

i miss you. i wish things could’ve worked out between us. i really believe that you are the one for me. right person, wrong time my love. i love you so much

i miss you, but you are still in my life. its strange i know i was the one who said we couldn’t the second time around but i can’t help wanting you to be mine. i think that’s it though, i don’t want you i just don’t want you to want anyone else. ?

i have been in love with you for as long as i can remember and you've helped me through a lot of hard stuff in my life and you were my best friend for so long but honestly i feel like i don’t even know you anymore and i can’t even say i miss you when i’m not around you because i don’t miss you, i miss the person you used to be. and i know that we will never work and i should just give up on trying at this point but i cant because i don’t want to give up on our fairytale. that’s what we would be, a perfect fairytale. but it’s just not realistic and i know it will never happen and i disagree with so many of the things you do but then i spend two minutes with you and suddenly i’m right back where i was all those years ago when you actually noticed me instead of just thinking of me as the girl you used to know.

i guess you're just an ass to everyone. thank god i escaped. too bad to that poor girl you cheated on though, what a shame. cant do anything right

you really had me there. made me believe i was something special. made me believe you felt the same way about me. and then you ignored me, and pushed me away. and then you did what you did on new year’s eve and i finally realized. you can say what you want, but you’re still in love with her. and she is messing with you and she doesn’t even care. she’s using you. i am just really tired. tired of being lied to. tired of being the second choice. i’m hurt. you hurt me. and you don’t even care. you never cared. i hope you realize what you lost.

you were the person who taught me maybe right person wrong time was real. why did it all have to fall apart?

Wait for me please. A year and half and we can be together... we belong together and we both know that. I love you

I tried to talk to you and be friends at least. You’re not the same anymore and that hurts, I miss the sweet boy I fell in love with.

I’ ve worn the ring you once gave me, every single day since. It makes me feel close to you even though you are gone. How could you leave after everything? Please come back, I want you.

We put each other through the best times and the most painful.
Yet, it was the most beautiful time of my life.

Most mornings I wake up happy without you, as if I’ve healed.
Until night hits, where your touch is all I dream for. Come back man.

if it happened today instead of all that time ago, i still would have stayed, even if your heart didn't belong to me.

Do you even remember telling me you loved me? Was it even true? Would it have been different if I told you that I loved you too?

i know i walked away but i still wish we talked. i wish u apologised. i miss seeing ur name pop up on my phone.

being around you makes me so happy and I want to be your friend forever. thank you for helping me with my homework.

i still love you lukey. i’m so sad you left, but it was for the better. i always wait for a text from you mi amoré.

why is it that you treat the people that care about you the worst

and then you went and changed for someone else when that's all i ever really wanted

I'm sorry I never understood your pain. I just wish you just once thought about the pain you gave me.