Unsent messages to RYAN
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 4, 2021, 7:55 pm UTC
I love you so much and i wish i could have you back. you mean so much to me and you did so much for me when i didn't.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 4, 2021, 8:40 am UTC
i will always come back to you. and why? we were never good for one another. i miss us even though it ruined me.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 3, 2021, 7:43 pm UTC
i wasn’t ready to love you bc i didn’t love myself. thank you for understanding that. she’s really pretty. i hope you’re happy.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 3, 2021, 2:18 pm UTC
you were the first guy that made me feel loved. You always complimented me when we were
calling and I had a comfort feeling with you. I was not scared anymore. But now we’re like strangers. We didn’t even date. We just stopped talking. I still love you though. You helped me through a lot. I wouldn’t be here like this if it weren’t because of you.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 3, 2021, 11:32 am UTC
it hurts me so much to know we don't talk. you made me feel happy when my world was collapsing. and because of that i can't seem to move on from you. i believe you are my first soulmate in this lifetime
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 3, 2021, 8:07 am UTC
I love you more than I will ever be able to express but you don't love me back and that, my love, has utterly destroyed me.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 2, 2021, 7:39 pm UTC
i could help you. i would love you. but u continue to ignore me and treat me and others like shit and i can’t be ok with that.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 2, 2021, 1:44 pm UTC
you made me feel like i was on top of the world, only to kick me off the cliff :,) but i survived hehehehehe
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 2, 2021, 9:20 am UTC
You may not even read this but it is the best way to express myself !! I know that you are the love of my life I know without a doubt, but life took us on different paths and we have different lives, if we really are for each other, life or destiny will be in charge of uniting us, remember the red thread that unites us, if life is not going to unite us, I hope you find that girl who loves you no matter what, I met you in the dark and you taught me to believe in me, you taught me that not everything is how love movies paint it , you will be my child all the damn life, maybe we were destined for me to know you but you did not, just be happy that if we see each other one day in the street we will sit and talk and I will tell you how madly I was in love with you and we will laugh until we cry anyway I love you, I love you and I will love you all my life ... Every time I heard demons imagine dragons and ed sheeran's photography I will remember you, you were the most beautiful way life had to teach me that not everything is possible ... with love KM ??
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 2, 2021, 7:28 am UTC
i wish you could’ve came out and been true with yourself. i truly think we could've happy together. i miss you but i cant be with someone who is constantly lying to themselves and needs to be fixed. i’m tired of fixing people.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 1, 2021, 11:20 pm UTC
you died that day we broke up for the last time. you're unrecognizable. i miss him so much. i mourned him for months. he introduced love to me. star wars. i gave him the west wing. aaron sorkin. if he had a grave i would visit him everyday and deliver flowers and chocolates. i'd leave that baby yoda plush on the stone. why did you kill him? i loved him more than anything. why would you ever do that to me? i hope new ryan can live with the fact that he killed someone. more than a year after we met, and i still miss you more than anything. -v, aka: clover.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 1, 2021, 7:53 pm UTC
You lied. You told me you loved me. All you ever did was look at other girls. You lied. You lied. You lied. You lied. You lied. You lied. You lied. You lied.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 1, 2021, 4:23 am UTC
I'm still in love with you. Just because I blocked you and have a new boyfriend doesn't mean I stopped loving you.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: January 1, 2021, 2:48 am UTC
I liked you but I didn’t at the same time I was messed up and I needed you to be there and help me through but you were never there when I needed you most and always there when I didn’t want you.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 31, 2020, 10:58 pm UTC
i miss talking to you, even if it was just in that stupid groupchat. i wonder if you ever liked me back lol
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 31, 2020, 8:07 am UTC
The person I once knew and loved exists somewhere, but we are separated by too much time for me to ever reach you again. I miss you. Forever and always.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 30, 2020, 4:35 pm UTC
You may not have known it, because I never said it, but you were my first love. What happened to us? At least we're still friends.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 28, 2020, 1:08 pm UTC
i hope your year was as good as i hoped mines would be! you helped make it better and i thank you for that, please don’t let us loose contact again i can’t wait for all the memories we’ll hopefully make together
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 28, 2020, 4:42 am UTC
I'm so disappointed in the way things turned out, I can't help but feel like things could have been different, if you were the person I know you could be, but you never will be
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 26, 2020, 11:19 pm UTC
you were the first boy i ever really loved. you said you were with me so you could have a girlfriend, and told your friends i didn't count. i want to hate you but i'm turning into you. i go from person to person, hoping to find some semblance of you, living the idea of a relationship, instead of the person. i am you and i hate myself.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 26, 2020, 8:29 am UTC
It’s been almost two years and I still get sad and angry sometimes about what happened. I can’t blame you though, since you never saw what an honest love looks like. The Scientist will always remind me of you.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 24, 2020, 7:31 pm UTC
to the boy who made me believe in love: thank you. my heart is yours and i never want that to change. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted and every single day i am so incredibly grateful for you. i’m the luckiest girl in the world and i don’t know what i did to deserve you. thank you for everything and thank you for loving me when i don’t even love myself.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 24, 2020, 5:26 am UTC
i find myself searching for my name in here, hoping you sent me something, only to get my hopes up and know you would never put in that effort
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 23, 2020, 7:18 am UTC
you left and i was heartbroken, but now I'm better than i ever was when you were here. thank you for almost killing me.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 22, 2020, 11:07 pm UTC
i cannot put it into words. the way that you make me feel. i think that i'm in love with you. and i can only hope that you'll eventually feel the same, one day.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 22, 2020, 7:12 pm UTC
I miss staying up and texting you, having that stupid smile on my face. I wish things were the same. I wish we were both happy. I'm still on disc u idiot. :)
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 22, 2020, 7:08 pm UTC
I'll never forget you and the happiness you've brought me. I heard things went to shit but if you're still out there hmu on disc you idiot. :,)
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 21, 2020, 9:22 pm UTC
I love you, but you hurt me so much in ways you don’t know about. Remember when I told you i was fragile?
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 21, 2020, 6:04 pm UTC
I’m not mad, you don’t want me. I’m mad that sometimes you act like you do because you know I’ll always come back to you.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 21, 2020, 1:14 am UTC
I hope we get to spend forever together like we always talked about. It hasn’t been the same lately, but I hope it gets better.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 20, 2020, 9:01 pm UTC
i remember when you asked to hold my hand in 4th grade. it is still the cutest thing to ever happen to me
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 20, 2020, 9:44 am UTC
You're making me slip back down the rabbit hole of unrequited love. When I'm around you I get nervous. I only ever see you at work. Before I go in I wish you weren't there but at the same time, I am happy you're there. Idk. I see you looking at me all the time but how could you ever like someone like me? I'm not attractive and I won't even work up the guts to talk to you. UGHHH you make me tense up and then I'm frozen. But I honestly think that we could be something. If God could grant the wish of you talking to me and getting to know my personality, I think we would be great together. Otherwise, please get off my mind!!!!
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 20, 2020, 9:32 am UTC
We listened to love songs and ate pizza and played mario kart on the roof. I should have realized then
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 20, 2020, 7:10 am UTC
I will always love you. I wish you the best. Never lose the light in your life. Thank you, take care...
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 19, 2020, 6:18 am UTC
I don’t know why I stick around sometimes, I wish you could show me more that you love me. I know you struggle with your own inner demons but sometimes when I need u most you aren’t there, I just want our relationship to be beautiful and fun again, but I think you’re to stubborn to change
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 18, 2020, 6:14 pm UTC
I can't think of New Years the same without you. We should've of been happy. We should still be together. What happened to us?
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 17, 2020, 9:28 pm UTC
You still cry every night missing her even though it's been 16 months, oh, how I wish I was her, your ex, but the only way to go is for me to become your next ex
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 17, 2020, 10:09 am UTC
i love you. i see you everywhere and in everything. i'm sorry for the pain i caused you, for never using the endless chances you gave me, correctly. pathetic as it may sound, i don't think i want to or i can't fall in love the same way ever again. you're always going to be my only love. i tried moving on but at the end of every day it's always you in my head and my heart. i won't lie, that feeling is killing me. i'm exhausted of losing my mind for something thats now just wishful thinking. yet, i know id still welcome you back. id go through this cycle for years if it meant it was all for you. i just wish i could get one more night back in your room watching tv and cuddling next to you and then id turn around and kiss you one last time.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 17, 2020, 1:17 am UTC
Whenever I’m really sad I scroll through here & wonder what you might say to me...do you even think of me at all?
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 16, 2020, 8:00 pm UTC
It is so crazy to think how much I liked u and thought about u. You never even once probably thought about me, i liked you for so fricking long, and you know what i got over you, then i sit next to u and realise how nice and kind u are, but the fact is u would never date me or even cosider it. Well now ur with someone and i guess i gotta move on again, wish we could have been something but i guess not
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 16, 2020, 12:50 pm UTC
I don't know why, i cant stop thinking about you. We could of had everything but you didn't want to put in the effort. I miss you, please come back.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 16, 2020, 9:45 am UTC
I’m so glad I didn’t end up with what I thought I wanted. Thank god I’m not in love with you anymore.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 15, 2020, 5:27 pm UTC
I know I said friends but everyone knew I didn’t mean that but you... I’ve loved you since 8th grade.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 15, 2020, 8:46 am UTC
I still struggle in my happy relationships years later. Your toxicity ruined my happiness and mental health.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 14, 2020, 11:00 pm UTC
I wish u were still alive. I need u right now really bad. I have no one i wish u were still here to help me
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 14, 2020, 10:21 pm UTC
I’m scared I’ll never be able to let go of the fantasy of us being together but I can’t tell you to leave me alone because I love you too much.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 14, 2020, 10:07 pm UTC
It hurts to see you all the time. I don’t know whether it’s because I blame myself. I would’ve done anything for us even though you were the one that caused it. Just know that I do still love you, there’s just way too much between us now, I’m sorry x
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 14, 2020, 11:57 am UTC
i dont love you anymore, but today when i saw you with someone that wasn’t me my heart ached the way it used to
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 13, 2020, 7:33 pm UTC
I cried for nights thinking about you and how much i loved you. I skipped school so i could make sure you were okay. I can’t listen to songs because all i think about is you, you didn’t care for me one bit, you’ve broken me.
From: ABC
To: ryan
Date: December 13, 2020, 6:24 pm UTC
I don't even know why i'm typing this, because i know i can't like you, because you're in the year below but your vibe, your personality it's just slowly pulling me in. i miss you when you're not around, i think about you randomly and now i know i don't just see you as a silly little "brother", i see you as a crush and i know we'll never be together, which is why it hurts so much..
