Unsent messages to JOHN
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 16, 2023, 7:36 pm UTC
why are u asking for me back when i literally just moved on
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 15, 2023, 10:16 pm UTC
i think i have feelings for you but i could never tell you
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 14, 2023, 4:56 am UTC
ilysm but now that u love me i wanna let u go
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 13, 2023, 9:36 pm UTC
I think I might love you but well never be able to be together
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 12, 2023, 10:28 pm UTC
i should’ve trusted my trust issues.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 12, 2023, 9:27 pm UTC
Thank you for showing me what real love feels like
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 12, 2023, 12:53 am UTC
I love you but I can't tell you. I hope you can tell.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: July 10, 2023, 3:45 am UTC
i have to let go even though i dont want to
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 15, 2021, 7:49 am UTC
maybe in the next lifetime we can try again, but until then i'll watch you live your life from a distance. goodbye love
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 14, 2021, 7:55 pm UTC
it’s crazy it’s been a whole year since we last talked. i miss you a lot. i love you still. not like in a romantic way. because i’ve moved on. but you’re so important to me. we’ve known each other for years and to think you could just leave like that hurts. i still always think about you. and i hope you’re doing well honestly. we were both toxic but i wouldn’t have done it with anyone else. you’re the first boy i’ve ever loved. and i hope one day we can find our way to each other and talk. he friends
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 14, 2021, 7:40 pm UTC
you said we should see each other but you have no idea how much i still love u and im not over you just like you are over me. i love you, be happy okay babyboy ?
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 13, 2021, 6:07 am UTC
You may not want me, you hadn’t back then but I am completely convinced that one day I’ll be the only thing in your head. Just watch. The universe will bring us together.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 12, 2021, 4:55 am UTC
the feelings that i have for you have been stagnent since the first day that i met you. something drew me to you and never let me go. often times i have wondered what it was. i still do not know what is it?
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 12, 2021, 4:00 am UTC
i still love you, and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day i met you. i wish you didn’t hate me.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 11, 2021, 10:40 am UTC
You were my first, first love. I sometimes wonder how we would have seen each other grow up had I never moved away. Maybe we would have stayed in touch. Thanks for my happiest memories.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 11, 2021, 6:17 am UTC
is first love even the right word? i think that i just desperately wanted to make you see me as a person. were we friends? do i hold any space in your heart or your mind? you were the first person that made me realize that i am only meant to be an afterthought. i am a last ditch effort when all else fails. you were the first person to put me last. i guess that i was always no one to you yet here i am sending an unsent message to you as my first love...
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 11, 2021, 4:55 am UTC
I loved you like I never loved another and what we had in March was special. I’ll always miss you. I’m sorry I wasn’t sure.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 11, 2021, 2:27 am UTC
You knew you still loved her, but you made me believe you could love me. Thank you for six months of heartbreak, it’s finally time to love myself more than you ever could.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 10, 2021, 6:55 pm UTC
You were not my first love. But I feel in love with the idea you had planned out for me. I fell in love with the suburban town you raised me in. When you took all of that away from me, i wanted to die. I still do, but it wasn’t until now i realized that i didn’t wanna die. i wanted a chance to live again. i hope you know you did not win. i always find a way. i always do.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 10, 2021, 5:11 am UTC
ur notif on my phone was the only one i cared abt. i ignored all opportunity, waiting for what we could’ve been.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 10, 2021, 1:48 am UTC
I'm sorry if you find all of your clothes at the goodwill by my house...my mom accidentally gave them away...I tried to tell you but you never answered my text.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 9, 2021, 9:29 am UTC
I hope Seattle works out for you! Long distance was tough and I wanted you here. But I couldn’t help but feel that I was holding you back, so I let you go.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 9, 2021, 4:34 am UTC
thanks for making me feel special and giving me a reason to wake up. sorry i was too scared to tell you i don't have hair
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 8, 2021, 8:56 am UTC
I'm scared that we're going to fizzle away without ever being outlined.
You changed my whole understanding of how to be loved, let me learn how to show you the same.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 8, 2021, 12:54 am UTC
You want honesty ... but honestly I can’t tell you how I feel. I want to be with you every moment of my waking mind. I want to be beneath your arms cuddled in your warmth. I want YOU. And you don’t realize how much I do. I want you but I can’t pull myself to tell you how I really feel because I’m afraid. Afraid that I’ll let someone close to me, just for them to take a part of me with them. That’s why I’m so indecisive and emotional because I’m afraid to be hurt and I’m afraid to cry myself to sleep every night over someone who might break my heart and honestly I rather never loved than to be dying inside.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 7, 2021, 10:52 pm UTC
even though you fucked me over.
and i’m with someone new.
all i want is to be with you.
forever and always.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 7, 2021, 10:47 pm UTC
i think maybe you loved me at one time, but eventually my love was too much for someone who doesn’t know what love is anymore.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 7, 2021, 8:59 am UTC
no matter how hard i try to move on, i find myself running right back every time. i’m sorry i couldn’t say this to you.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 7, 2021, 2:01 am UTC
god i wish i could put into words how much i love you. every night i look back at our texts and sometimes i miss you texting me, even though that sounds super clingy, but it’s true. your hugs are the one thing that keeps me going, honestly right now you’re my life raft. i hope i never lose you. love you always
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 6, 2021, 8:18 pm UTC
Yes, it’s me. We were young and weird and you were insane. I think it’s funny now but why do you have to be so mean? I still care for you. You’re just a prick
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 6, 2021, 7:57 pm UTC
You were the first boy I dated that didn't physically hurt me.
But you were also the first to tell me it was my fault that the others did.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 6, 2021, 1:47 am UTC
We were best friends and you were dating my friend so I didn’t want to say anything. Even when you guys broke up and admitted you liked me I acted as if I didn’t.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 5, 2021, 9:03 pm UTC
I can't believe I ever let you go. Seeing you with someone else hurts in a way I never could have imagined.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 5, 2021, 2:43 am UTC
i'm sorry we never clicked the way you wanted us to. i love you, but there is parts of you that i hate. i mostly reflect on you with embarrassment and disappointment, but i know you loved me and meant well for me. i think i cope by pretending i hate you and associating you with this evil image that doesn't exist. while i don't think we were meant to be, you did a lot for me. you really cared for me. you really hurt me, but i hurt you in the same ways. you just never found out about it like i did. i'm sorry for never telling you. for making you the scapegoat of our relationship problems. i don't miss you, but sometimes i miss who i was with you. i went through hardships with you and blamed them entirely on you and that was unfair. it wasn't your fault. i was mentally ill. i'm getting help for that now, by the way. realizing my black-out anger and depressive episodes weren't caused by my environment, but rather my brain. i constantly overreacted to your faults and i'm so sorry for that. i unintentionally gaslighted you constantly and made you out to be the bad guy when it was mostly the way my mind worked. the break up was too hard on you and too easy for me and i'm so sorry about that. i think my irrational anger and hatred for you manifests in the guilt i carry and within secrets i kept from you. i don't want to get back together ever again and risk hurting you once more. i regret our relationship because it hurt both of us for so long and was almost entirely my fault. you weren't the bad guy and i'm sorry for convincing you, my friends, and myself, that you were. and most of all i wish i could tell you all of this. i wish we could've had a normal, healthy break up and hashed it out. i shouldn't have just texted you and then ignored you while you were in need and hurting. i'm sorry for not being the first intimate love of yours that i should've been. i was ridden with insecurity, jealousy, and undiagnosed mental illness. you deserved better. you deserved her. and this time, i'm not just saying that to be petty or hurtful. i hope you guys end up together. she was beautiful and kind and everything you wanted. and i was sickly jealous because i knew she was a better match for you. i'm sorry for tearing you away from her and manipulating you into believing i was what you wanted. i hope you found her and won her back. you deserve it.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 5, 2021, 2:19 am UTC
I've liked you since 7th grade. I like to think you like me back....but I know it would never work out. We're two different people. I'm afraid I could never give you what you need or desire. I'm sorry.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 4, 2021, 11:05 pm UTC
bem, eu sinto sua falta, nunca soube se o seu nome era John, João ou Lucas, mas saiba que até hoje lembro seu gosto, isso dói.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 4, 2021, 9:36 pm UTC
It hurts to know I will never be more than a friend to you. It hurts to know you will never love me back. It hurts seeing you talking to other girls . It hurts seeing you without me.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 3, 2021, 7:43 pm UTC
you're the main attraction everywhere u go. everybody wants u & i can tell ur loving the attention.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 2, 2021, 7:43 pm UTC
I know you were scared, but you let that ruin us. I wanted you. I wanted us so badly. I was the girl you should have jumped for, I would have caught you. ??
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 2, 2021, 6:22 am UTC
Kissing you made me get butterflies. But now that you’ve changed I feel like I will never feel the same way again.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 1, 2021, 3:14 pm UTC
i pray to gods i dont believe in for you, and beg devils i cant see to leave you alone. please think of me once more.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: January 1, 2021, 2:41 am UTC
You made me feel like I belong again. I hope you realize how much you made me happier. You are perfect and I’m sorry if I don’t show you how much I love you
From: ABC
To: John
Date: December 31, 2020, 4:54 pm UTC
I’m sorry that after years of you telling me you didn’t love me back, that I eventually fell out of love with you and decided to love myself instead.
From: ABC
To: John
Date: December 30, 2020, 4:39 am UTC
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for giving you only part of me when you deserved everything & more. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. Your heart is so pure. Thank you for your patience and kindness. I shared some of my most vulnerable moments with you and I wouldn’t take it back for the world. I hope you find a girl who can beat u at chess because Lord knows I never could. With Love...
