Unsent messages to DYLAN

i think i hate you

Even if it takes a hundred years, i will wait for you.

I wish you’d let us try again. i think we’d both be happier.

I can't wait to explore the whole world with you

it’s been 4 years and i still like you

hey bestie. someone wants u xx

i hope we can try again when things get better for us

You’ve ruined me.

i want you to feel the same way about me that i do for you

why couldn’t it have been us? why didn’t you care more.

I can’t wait until after college so we can be together again.

I miss you my love :(

in every lifetime i hope it’s us

You are, and forever will be, the love of my life.

Ciao babu ♡

think about you everyday i wish it could be the way it was

how was your day? it’s been months since we last spoke. we probably won’t ever again, and for good reason, but nonetheless, how was your day

I really wish that I could go back in time and undo everything that was said and done by me, I made a huge mistake and I don't think I ever gave you a proper apology. I just wish we could go back to 2016 when everything was simple and we were all innocent. I wish I could talk to you again but I don't think I ever will, so for now you'll just stay in my head

I think you've dated 2 people after you liked me and I know that's a sign that you moved on but the thing is, I never moved on.

I never meant to do that to you. I know that it was about 4 years ago but I can't stop thinking about it. I never knew you liked me at the time until my friend told me. I never thought anyone could feel that way but now I know that you did. I didn't recognize what was happening at the time but now I do. I remember catching you staring at me across the class and saying bye to me at the end of the day. Your friend told me that you hated me and I believed that and I was so scared to talk to you, I didn't know what to say. There were times when I told myself that today was the day that I would talk to you but that never happened and I regret that so much. I just wished we talked more. I don't have your number but this is honestly what I would say to you if I did. I'm really sorry and it's basically my biggest regret of my life. ps. I remember you saying that orange was your favourite colour, not sure if that's right or not but I remember some things about you. I just wish I knew more. I doubt that you will ever read this but I hope all is well and I wish you the best.

you were the first person i actually loved and still do love. it breaks my heart that i’m not with you but i hold myself back bc of the way you treated me. you always knew the right thing to say, and showed me off, i just don’t know how u could end up cheating. i miss you everyday and beat myself up for it bc of how much u hurt me. but i still love and miss you.

What is meant to be is meant to be, I can no longer let my thoughts ponder about the way you feel about me anymore or if there is any hope. I will always care and have a certain type of love for you, but I need to be me.

i really like you but i can't tell the difference between my platonic and romantic feelings because of things in the past, but to avoid me confusing my feelings i'll never tell you how i feel most likely but hope we'll always remain friends. i can see its became increasingly difficult for us to remain in contact but i hope you dont forget about me so i can figure out my feelings in time, and though there is a possibility of me feeling nothing other than loving you as a friend i know its more likely its romantic feelings. its hard to distinguish because of my first relationship in having my emotions toyed with but i know you'd understand. i'm happy that we came to be friends and grateful for you but now i feel us slipping further and further apart and all i can ask is you don't let me go, because i never plan to let you go. thanks for being a good friend who listens and gets me through difficult times and hopefully soon my feelings will becocme clearer.

i still have feelings for you and no matter how many times i tell myself that i'm better off, a small part of me won't let go.

i cant do this shit anymore
i stopped liking everyone for you, I stayed up nights talking to you, I told my family about you thinking you actually fucking liked me, i cried over you when you hurt me and god damn i was a loser going back to you i regret saying i have feelings for you when now I know I clearly do not. fuck you fuck you fuck you.

i relish the way i would feel when you looked at me. the silence. the eye contact that never made me feel uneasy but rather loved. your hands. the way you would hold mine and i would hold yours.
the way i would hold your face in my palms.
the sureness of it all. (even though we were 15)
“so when we get married,”
“we’ll have two dogs and one cat”
“two kids; a girl and a boy,”
i know it’s silly
and i was under the impression that we would last “forever”
but i was happy

I’ve always been interested in you, but so has my friend. I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. I’m sorry for not flirting back at the 8th grade trip. Please give me a chance.

I wanna be with you, more than friends but then again if i ever did end up telling you, you’d leave and I’d be heart broken again

i hate what you've turned me into. what you did to my head and what i've done to myself since then. i hate you.

adonis would shiver in your presence. so slender yet carved like a god. i like hearing you ramble, you start sounding all embarrassed and shy. i think of you a lot but i don’t even know how you feel about me. i know im not gabby but dear god im so selfish i don’t want to share you with anyone.

I don’t know why I have so much of an attachment to you since you treated me greater at first then treated me like shit. I guess i’m still waiting for the guy i used to know to come back to me.

i wanted to fall in love w you but you moved on w out me im sorry i just had to get you totally out of my life after that

you broke my heart tonight. but you know what i’m fine with it. i’ve moved on, hope u don’t forget how much u missed out on

I’m sorry for hurting you. That’s not what I wanted, all I wanted was for you to choose me. And that sounds dumb but it’s all I wanted. I couldn’t help you cause you didn’t want my help. I have to let go of you, I already know you let go of me.

I miss you. But I’m glad I left you because I knew I could fix you and I would’ve just gotten in the way.

you forced yourself onto me multiple times even when i screamed in pain, you showed up drunk and asked if i'd be upset if you forced yourself into me again, you left for good when i wouldn't let you continue to guilt me into letting you hurt me. i hate you, i fucking hate everyone who pressured me to stay with you, i will never forgive you for what you did and i hope you suffer as much as the pain and trauma you inflicted upon me. you were a shitty person then and you don't deserve to be happy when you won't acknowledge what you did to me. i hope you're still fucking miserable. p.s. to this day i cannot listen to the beatles because of you

i wish things were different; i still love you and i'll never give up on us. my right person, just the wrong time.

i would have done anything for u and all u did for me was leave but i hope u r happy in life and i am glad u broke my heart

i hate how much i miss you, but you really made me feel something and then left me like it was nothing to you.

i miss you. and i want to hug you all the time i wish we weren’t so far and that you could show me the same love i give to you

I don't I love you anymore. I can't, it's so hard to. I am sorry but if you weren't such an ass to everyone around you, maybe you could've been the one. Goodbye

i wish i stuck up for u when u needed it. you didnt ask and i was aware but i did nothing. its too late for me too apologise

I miss you so much. But things will never work for both of us. I hope you are happy. I love you forever.

You made me feel so much in so little time. I didn’t think I would like you at first, you seemed like you would be one of those stuck up boys that ruins girls, but then we spent every night talking for hours at a time, and having sleepless nights over the phone. You opened up to me and made me feel safe in a way no boy ever has. The worst part was knowing I was terrible for you. You have such great aspirations in life and will go so far, you told me about your sister and how her actions affected you, and the substance issues that run in your family, and your fear of substances for that exact reason, and how to this day you haven’t had a sip of alcohol. You showed me your insecurities, and made me laugh. I talked to someone effortlessly for what felt like the first time in years. But I am everything that could ruin you, unstable, insecure, an addict, passionless, and until I met you emotionless. I thought people like you didn’t exist. You made me want to work out so you could carry me effortlessly, do my work so that I wouldn’t get kicked out of school and we could share our rides to school every morning. I researched jobs so that I could plan a future where I wouldn’t just be the failure, I sobered up because with you I felt intoxicated. With you I craved the feeling that I’ve been repulsed by since the day I was taken advantage of. The thrill of talking to you brought me raw emotion, a form of pure happiness that before I met you I could only dream of feeling. You quickly became my favorite person. Your emotions directly affected mine, I felt it in my heart when you were sad, and when you were happy I could reach the moon. For that I’m sorry. I refuse to open you to the damage I bring, the disorders I cannot treat, the fears I cannot face, and the life I cannot bring. I am an exact replica of the person who damaged you the most when you were so little. I noticed the hesitation in your voice when you mentioned her, and I felt your pain when you told me what your so called friends had to say. I would only be a sequel. Still you’ve changed me, I might sober up, might start doing my work, might start working out, and might start fixing myself, because you showed me that life isn’t a straight line. Its a rollercoaster of hormones and emotions that control you and move your body and bring forth words with deeper meanings that can only be understood between souls, and though we aren't soulmates, you may be my twin flame. Thank you.

Me duele tanto esta situación por la que estamos pasando....eres mi primer amor....o eras, no lo se, todo es tan confuso, millones y millones de preguntan pasan por mi cabeza.... ¿en un futuro nos conoceremos? ¿sigues enamorado de mi? ¿me extrañas? ¿te dejo ir? ¿me aferro a ti? Es muy difícil la distancia, tu eres de Costa rica y yo de México.... Será que algún día nos podremos conocer? Y si es así y si no lo es? Tu madre ni siquiera quiere escuchar mi nombre en estos momentos "Daniela" creo que es mejor dejarte ir y que seas feliz...muy feliz....siempre tendrás un lugar muy especial en mi corazón.

You were right... We just needed to spend more time together. I miss you, i'm not giving up on you. I won't tell you that I still like you, that would be cruel, for you. I'll try to get you back, but if you don't want me then i'll continue watching from far away.

i love you so much
im sorry i constantly hurt you with my self hatred, but im finding really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel

hey. i know we're just friends, but I really like you. I've liked you since we became friends in 5th grade and I wish i could tell you. We've drifted apart, even though we've told each other things we couldn't tell anyone else.

I’m driving home right now. I can’t go on Omegle on my chromebook so yeah either way it’ll have to wait until my parents go to bed at like 10 so yeah

Idk what you think you saw but I’m not in Michael’s car haha I’m still delivering but does zoom work or no?

i know we're not meant to be, but i now look for people who are similar to you. you were perfect to me