you were toxic too me, yet i loved you through it all

thank you for being there in your own way i guess

I know breaking up with you will be the hardest thing I ever have to do. But trust me. It will be worse for me than it will be for u

Sometimes I think about what it'd be like if I never loved you, and then I remember that you don't believe I ever did

You manipulated me more times than I can count. I’ll never understand why. You’re truly a bad person.

i really thought it was different this time. but then you did it. the same things he did. i cant do it. the lies. it terrifies me that you're becoming more and more like him.

i thought you were my forever dude. i wish i could've known, maybe we could have fixed it. i hate you, i hate you because i still love you. part of me hopes you'll change your mind, but it's been five months and i think it's over, for good. and that hurts like hell.

bitch where do I even start. let's start here. the summer going into grade 9 "I" texted you asking to go out. it wasn't me just to let you know, it was Emma. you said that we could be friends but look where we are now. you can't even walk down the same flight of staircases as me. and the fact that we have both classes together just makes it better doesn't it. also I can't believe I ever liked someone like you. before I thought you were so nice and caring but once high school came around you just turned into a different person, I don't even trust you to be quite honest. I'm better of without you and marrying Jeon Jungkook instead.

If you see this, please respond fast haha. Zach was my bf on snap and I did shower with him on facetime back in march while I was drunk. It was a long time ago but I never wanted to again and I do not like him. I need to tell you something and whether you believe it or not, its 100% the truth. I talked with someone after work today and it was about you. I cried the whole time haha but we talked about how I am dying to talk to you like the want and need to talk to you feels like an addiction. ( not in a bad way, that's just the only way that I can describe it). We also talked about how I love you and I was scared of that while we were together but now that we aren't I am so broken. It's true tho, I love you. and I am sorry. Also look at the comment on this too please.

I wish I realised how good life was with you in it, I’m sorry I was toxic and I’m sorry I hurt you. Dyl, you will forever have a special place in my heart, I love you.

Y did u change nd LEAVE just like that? AFTER EVERYTHING i did to you? Nd u told ME to not play the hurt one? lol.

Y did u change nd LEAVE just like that? AFTER EVERYTHING i did to you? Nd u told ME to not play the hurt one? lol.

Y did u change nd LEAVE just like that? AFTER EVERYTHING i did to you? Nd u told ME to not play the hurt one? lol.

eric sent them unsolicited. Michael from work. and if there ends up being a comment, just ignore it, Doesn't matter.

I never smoked with Michael and I will probably never smoke again. Michael asked when we were together and I told him no. Him and Abby were a weird what-if kinda thing that happened. I've been friends with him since freshman year and he can always tell when something is off so we have been talking about you a lot recently. Well mainly I talk and cry and he listens. I'm sorry about the shift, I have a lot on my mind right now and I am not dealing with it well so I do apologize

when we were a thing it was probably October and I said no I am talking to someone. And I wanted you to respond fast because I have school in the morning and I didn't want to go to sleep without hearing back from you. That's 100 % honesty

You cheated on me and though I never truly loved you its still wrong and your cousin took my side for a reason.

hey bae ik its difficult and its not going to stop being difficult but u better fucking stay, i love you, happy early birthday and yes this is from who you think it is xoxo

You really messed me up. Don't ever make a girl think she will have a chance when she doesn't. And while it hurts, I'm happy you did it before I really fell for you.

You asked me out and I fell for you fast. But for you it was all just a show. I didn’t even know you, that tells you a lot

sometimes I like to remember the days where you used to say bye to me after school and I'd catch you staring at me from across the class, ig that's why they call them the good old days

our relationship went wrong in so many ways but you stuck by my side which made me to believe you would be here for a long time. Now that your gone it feels empty. Your not part of my daily life anymore. I miss it and I miss you. The universe is saying no right now but maybe it will say yes in the future. I just wonder what made your feelings change for me. Was all the things you told me a lie? did u tell me what i wanted to hear? was it fake love?

I actually really like u but we're such good friends that i'm never gonna tell u that. To whoever u date i'm happy for the both of u

I pinky promise kiss on it and swear that I am being 100% honest. No I did not see you and we do close at 9, well the kitchen does so because I was serving I still had a table and sidework after 9 and then I talked to michael because I needed someone to talk to and we talked about you and how much I miss you and how idk what to do and how I love you. I sat in the back of his car and he sat in the drivers seat. I sat there so that I could cry and he wouldn’t try to comfort me because you know how I get. I am telling the truth and I am being 100% honest. There’s really no way for me to prove it to you so now it’s just a matter of if you want to trust me or not but it is the truth

I wish I was able to piece myself together for you. I would give you everything. But right now I can barely breathe.

Hey you probably won’t read this but, I didn’t care that you cheated on me, what I cared about was not being enough for you. I still love you, Dylan, and I hope you’ve found happiness

I am not hiding anything at all I promise. You also have believed that I don't block people unless its necessary and I did that too because this guy kept asking me for nudes and I was not sending I kept saying no and I was over being asked all of the time so I unadded and blocked him. And I actually have proof for all of this as well. But I do understand why you feel this way. I actually do. Michael isn't going for me tho and I know this because he is heartbroken over Abby. It also doesn't matter what he is doing tho because I don't want anything with him other than to be friends like we already are. I wish that there was a way to help show you all of this. I want to be a better person in these senses and I really am trying. I am sorry that I can't prove it to you and that you can't believe me

Ironically his name is also Dylan and he was my link leader freshman year. I have talked to Skylar and aya and Michael Kniesel while I have been in the shower when they call me but no one else. And I’m sorry that you feel that way. I am telling you the truth

I am being 100% truthful with you. I’m sorry that you have a weird feeling about it. I hope that you are having a good day tho! Seriously if you have any more questions about anything please ask I am being 100% with you

hey. i hope ur okay. u know after that. i still think about you and what ur up to. please don’t it. please ik it’s hard. i know i get it. trust me. just don’t. i’m here for you. i hope ur well and u know got it figured out with them. ur still on my mind. i hope i’m on urs. please stay bb- *****

Look I tease you, annoy you and make you mad a lot but in complete honesty, you’re a cool dude. You know a crazy, impressive amount on pop culture (probably more than me), you’re funny, have a cute cutie-patootie smile, and even tho you call me names sometimes, i still think you’re really nice. You’re definitely gonna get a girlfriend before I do, you’re very charming and a lot more confident and outgoing than me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I value our friendship and thank you for all the entertainment you’ve given me with your annoyance of me.

He started talking to me again every so often after he started working with us but I wasn't answering very often or fast. He then one day out of the blue said
"can I ask you something that has been on my mine"
"Yeah whats up"
" I know you don't want a bf so I was wondering if you wanted to be friends with benefits"
"I am sorry, You're right I don't want a boyfriend, but I am talking to someone. I am really sorry."
Then after that, I became a super dry texter and was barely answering him until it turned into leaving him on read. He didn't ask about a thing with anyone or anything. It was an out of the blue kinda thing. He started talking to me more when him and abby were a thing and we became good friends which is why I have been talking to him about you. He told me that I must be in love with you because the way that I feel and think about everything has no other explanation. I told him all I wanted to do was talk to you and that I always want to see you drive by even tho it breaks my heart a little bit more. I made him cry because of how much I was crying. Idk what it is about you boy. IDK anymore. IDK what to do, IDK what to say, IDK how to think. I wish that I could control my feelings and just turn them off sometimes. I am sorry this one kinda went everywhere, that's also how my brain is rn haha everywhere.

I copied the conversation onto there yes I still have the conversation. And I am being serious and honest but you’re right doesn’t do anything anyway that was another question I was asked. What comes from you talking to him what do you want it? And my answer was I don’t know but I want it more than anything in this world soooo I don’t know either I guess nothing comes from it I don’t know why I did this or keep doing this trying to talk to you I mean there’s just so much that I need to tell you so much I want you to no one to talk to you about and some of that I can’t put on here and so I guess you’ll never know I don’t know I’m sorry I’m really sorry. Also about the ice cream thing it’s just because we all work together been going sledding together also it’s the same thing as when are you want you and Cory to go on walks with me before we were ever a thing. We all work together so I just kind of happens. So if you can think of what comes from all of this or anything like that please let me know but I think you’re right absolutely nothing out of us being hurt or upset and I’m sorry if this is really off I did talk to text because I’m driving to the bank right now

Yes I would. And the thing is I don’t even want anything with anyone at all not anymore. I’m too worried about hurting everyone and I’m just gonna wait until College to even look for anything because I’m over it right now. I also have a lot of other stuff to deal with. Also I’m just gonna say this for my own sanity but I feel like you’re mad at me like obviously you have reasons to be but like I feel like the way you were typing changed or something and I’m doing is trying to be honest with you if you’re mad that’s fine I don’t even know why it shouldn’t matter if you’re mad now I’m crying so now I’m done typing

SHe probably messaged you because I was talking to maddie and maddie wanted me to use her phone to text you but I didn't. I said things when I was mad and I have gone back and talked to those people and explained how I was wrong. Idk why she messaged you, I didn't even know she did. so I am sorry. Idk how to send them tho because I am already putting so much trust in you from these so idk where but yeah lmk.

you give off a sarcastic and uninterested, but you always talk and try to rope others into the convo. you go on and on about things that interest you, and you can hear the slightest change in your tone and you can hear a bit of a smile? maybe not a smile, maybe just general enthusiasm. i think it'd be cool if you showed that more. also, you constantly insult your younger self, but i think you should just acknowledge how far you've come and stop putting yourself down. around your friends, you seem just to complete the puzzle and the convo feels complete yk? like ah yes, the 4 friends are now complete. idk, that's just what i've seen. you always have something to talk about, and i find it funny how a lot of times you're like oh i'm too lazy to do that then do it anyways. it's funny 'cause you seem like you're trying to be aloof. idk, might just be in my head, i barely know you after all. you seem to know a lot of interesting things to talk about and i think it'd be cool if we became friends. but yeah, cool encyclopedia of random knowledge and nice guy. that's what i think.

you once asked me when i knew I loved you, i knew i loved you when i started making excuses for the way you hurt me

I wish you didn’t delete all your social media and change your phone number , I miss you, I still call the old number.

dylan, you taught me how i should be treated at such a young age. you were so good for me, and i regret not ever making it official, even after all the years of you begging me. even after all the years of love and memories. you made me who i am today, and i love you. i miss talking to you, i miss trusting you with everything in me. i hope we can find our way back to eachother someday.

i know we're not meant to be, but i now look for people who are similar to you. you were perfect to me

i let my insecurities take hold of me & you let me leave you told me you didnt love me why wasnt I enough why does it have to hurt so god damn bad

Idk what you think you saw but I’m not in Michael’s car haha I’m still delivering but does zoom work or no?

I’m driving home right now. I can’t go on Omegle on my chromebook so yeah either way it’ll have to wait until my parents go to bed at like 10 so yeah

You wronged me in so many ways and yet I stuck around because I thought I had to. I'm sorry I broke you but I can't take it back now and I never would.

hey it's been awhile but i'm sorry i cut it off so quickly, i was young and scared but i hope you know i really did like you

i still think about you and wonder where i went wrong..i wish i couldve realized how much you meant to me when you were still here

Your purpose in my life may have only been to teach me about God but I wish your purpose was to stay forever with me

I hope she was worth it. I really really hope she was worth it, D. Then I wouldn't be going thru this pain for nothing.

i miss you so much , but you don’t see the good in me you still think i’m the same as before. i’m sorry :/

i'm not sure if i love you. either way, i will never forget you. you make me so happy. i'm so sorry that it can never work out. to more facetimes and minecraft

Please please drive safe if you are out today. The roads are really bad and I’m nervous and I’m going to keep checking the lake and mchenry county scanner to make sure nothing happens to you. Thank you!