Unsent messages to DAD
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 18, 2020, 4:00 am UTC
you broke me. you hurt me constantly, and push me aside like im nothing. ik im not your favorite but god, don’t u see me hurting?
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 17, 2020, 10:31 pm UTC
you hurt me before any boy could, you hurt me in a way no one could. and i thank you for that because i can now deal with that shit.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 17, 2020, 6:20 pm UTC
the first and only time i met you , you were in the hospital i wish you could stop drinking so i could properly meet you.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 16, 2020, 7:18 pm UTC
When you threw me across the room and I got the oven that’s when I knew you were the worst dad in the world
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 16, 2020, 1:00 pm UTC
you’re hurting me. i’m grateful for you and i try so hard to show you how appreciative i am of you and all you do is ignore it and you hurt me. it feels like nothing i do will ever be enough for you. it hurts
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 16, 2020, 12:25 pm UTC
why do you feel the need to yell till i cry and make me feel small? all you are doing is teaching me to love boys who treat me like i'm worthless because thats all i've ever known.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 16, 2020, 2:28 am UTC
Hey dad, I have to tell you something that I have been needing to tell you for a while but I really just have no idea how to tell you because I know your thoughts and opinions on the whole thing but im gay and Ive known for a while. I’m sorry
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 15, 2020, 3:01 pm UTC
when did you decide to stop loving me? everything feels awkward around you. when did you decide to pick a favourite child, which of course wasnt me.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 15, 2020, 5:21 am UTC
How could you just leave like that I don't understand, you had an affair and just left. Everything is falling apart, and I don't know what to do, I just want a break from everything it's too much. Why did you leave?
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 11:19 pm UTC
Hey dad.I know I havent been your best daughter lately and I have disappointed you so much but Im tired papa.Blinera
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 10:30 pm UTC
i miss you more than i care to admit. even thought i don’t forgive you, i still love you more than i should.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 6:26 pm UTC
why can't you just tell me if you hate me? it would be a lot easier than to live with this false hope that maybe you'll be proud of me one day.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 9:39 am UTC
Why do you speak to me the way you do. You act like it’s my fault, you don’t care about me one bit. Sometimes I think about running away or moving out, just so long as i can get away from you. I hate you dad I do.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 7:44 am UTC
i fucking hate you. you always say. you're going to change but you don't. why don't you understand me? why can't you see I'm in pain for everything you let happen?
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 3:44 am UTC
i read your letter about everything we did together when i was little and how you want to have it back. but goddamnit you left me. it's not my fault you don't see your little girl anymore.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 14, 2020, 3:19 am UTC
Why do you hurt me without even realizing it? All those hurtful words mixed in with words of a supportive father. I hear others say nothing is wrong with their father and I can't believe some people don't have a feeling of drowning whenever their dad walks into the room.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 9:29 am UTC
I feel bad for how hurt u are even tho u kinda hurt me. it hurts me that ur such a sad soul. I hope ur next life brings u more happiness
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 7:46 am UTC
it’s been the longest two weeks since you died. it feels like you’re still here. i’m so sorry i didn’t get you sober. i’m only 15, i need more time. please, you were suppose to see me graduate. come back.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 6:52 am UTC
i still think about you everyday. it was hard leaving for college because i wanted you to be there to set up my dorm. i skipped my high school graduation because i couldn't handle the fact that you weren't gonna watch me walk across the stage. i'm scared to let myself love because you were the person i loved the most and now you're gone. i don't want to get married because you won't be there to walk me down the aisle. i barely sleep at night because sometimes i have dreams that you're still alive or i'm back in that hospital room alone watching you die when i was 13. why couldn't you just get clean, if not for yourself, then for me?
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 6:27 am UTC
I wish you could see that I do have mental health issues. It hurts when you say I don't. I just want you to realize I'm doing my best. But I need help, I don't want you to lose me.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 3:13 am UTC
Why did you leave us? If you didn't take us back that night, you'd still be alive and I wouldn't still be getting therapy 10 years later. I love you though.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 13, 2020, 2:36 am UTC
i always wonder at what age did you stop loving me. At what age did you decide to stop caring. And can I go back in time to reverse whatever it is that made you stop wanting me
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 12, 2020, 9:09 pm UTC
i hate you. so much. you would hit me over the stupidestthings and would scream over my grades. when im older im gonna marry a ransom guy who u picked for me, bc if i dont ever pick im never gonna have huan warmth. ir too controlling and scream over ur priorities over being a dad.im not allowed to do necestities and you have control over everything i do to my body and wear.it hurts im never gonna lve someone or be loved. i see more bad things over good things. i just want help and love and support. please. love me. not in the way u do now. but in my way. please.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 12, 2020, 6:33 pm UTC
i’m sorry i abandoned you like you abandoned me.
i’m sorry i flinch every time i see you. it’s not your fault.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 12, 2020, 2:47 pm UTC
you teach me that love is hate and hate is love. you treat me unfairly but wonder why i “go against you” i’ve had to put up a fight with you forever. and i’m finally over it i’m still a kid but you treat me like shit. you stop me from living my life and you stop me from doing a lot , you claim it’s love but it isn’t. i fucking hate you but i also love u. so fuck u
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 12, 2020, 1:15 pm UTC
I wish u never got diagnosed. u leaving my life has been the worst thing I've ever experienced. i have so many regrets. i think of you almost every night and there isn't a moment where I don't think of u. Its hard to forgive u for leaving me with mom, bc u were always my favourite. moms horrible to me. i just wish this was all a nightmare ill wake up from soon.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 11, 2020, 4:06 am UTC
this isn’t a love letter. but i’m hurt. i’m tired. please take into consideration my feelings. i’m done with life. why don’t you care about me? i just want to be cared for as your daughter. i try so hard.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 11, 2020, 12:54 am UTC
Hey dad. You don't known me but I'm your daughter. I know it's stupid to ask but, why did you leave. I get you were 20 and a baby is a whole new form of responsibility but...why. I still don't know who you are, I don't even think you want to know me but I grew up with men pretending they were you until mum finally told me "he" wasn't my dad. You are. I never had a good relationship with any of mums boyfriends, I hated them all. She's married now and I have a baby sister. Even though you left. Eventhough I know you don't care, I wish you had stayed. I feel like my life would of been different. I wouldn't blame mum for everything or give her such a hard time. We nearly lost her last year. You didn't even need to meet me, a birthday card would have been nice. Or just an explanation why. I think about it. A lot. Mum says I'm like you and I remind her of you, which sucks because she doesn't like looking at me sometimes I think because I look like you. I wish you had stayed. I wish I could meet you and find out this is all some big misunderstanding and you want a relationship with me but my hopes for that are starting to leave. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I hope I meet you in the future, your daughter.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 11, 2020, 12:51 am UTC
Dear dad, f*** you b***** You’re the reason of EVERYTHING that goes on in my life i swear to f****** god i hate you so so so so much you ruined everything you a*******
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 10, 2020, 9:25 pm UTC
why did u walk out of the door that day? did you know what you were doing? You ruined everything, everything. I will never be the same because you chose alcohol over me. It hurts because you were the only person i cared about. I will never forgive you for ruining my life dad.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 10, 2020, 7:57 am UTC
you somehow hurt me almost every day, i did nothing to you. i can't wait to move in w my man and leave ur ass.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 10, 2020, 3:35 am UTC
hey. it's been 5 years since you left this earth and somehow it feels like forever ago. i wish i could just be in your arms one more time
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 9, 2020, 3:24 am UTC
Sometimes at night I wonder if you feel bad for the things you do to me and everything you put me through. lol
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 9, 2020, 1:33 am UTC
U weren’t my first love, but u hurt me the most. stop fucking ghosting me and just text me back. idgaf if ur not ready for a relationship i haven’t seen u in 6 years. u literally live like 4 hours travel by car. just text me man
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 10:37 pm UTC
This isn’t a love letter but you were the first boy that genuinely broke my heart. i miss you so much i wish you were proud of me /:
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 10:02 pm UTC
You've really fucked up my life and I blame you for never having a childhood. You're a bastard with a tiny penis >:(
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 5:54 pm UTC
I love you so much. I miss you. I hope you knew how much you meant to me im sorry I didn't show it. I forgive you.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 7:15 am UTC
if only you could have been a better parent, and not have done all the shit you did. Honestly maybe my life would be different but I don't really think of it soo. But you keep doing you not realizing and still partying like you're 21 when you're 35 and have a daughter and a husband and a mother to take care of.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 4:04 am UTC
I think its terribly funny tha you just happen to pick up so much work load once you don't have a girlfriend. am I not enough for you. what did I dol. im sorry. I miss you so much.. but can u please stop making false promises it makes things so much harder. I hope you don't forget my birthday again. I get why Lucas is your favorite but please I miss you.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 3:05 am UTC
You fucked me up. I trusted you and you fucked me up. i wish i could tell you to your face you sick bastard
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 7, 2020, 3:00 am UTC
i loved you and you broke my fucking heart before any man could. you promised me. so fucking selfish. i truly hope you’re happy tho
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 6, 2020, 11:51 pm UTC
i wish you couldve felt how much your words hurt. i wish you could've seen how much i let it effect me. i wish you would have seen past my smiles and my "I'm fines". i wish you could've loved me like you claimed you did. i wish you had thought twice before beating me everytime i made a mistake. i wish you could've cared more about me and not my grades. i wish you loved me.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 6, 2020, 2:05 am UTC
i miss you everyday and i wish i couldve done something to prevent your death. i hope youre proud of me :(
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 4, 2020, 4:53 am UTC
Do you still care how a father should. I know you care it’s just weird how I look forward to talking with you yet when it happens I cringe. Is that even a father at this point?
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 3, 2020, 9:38 am UTC
your words are just so empty, i hate hearing you say "i love you" because it never feels like you do. oh how i thought you were a good person. im sorry ok. im sorry im not the kid you wanted but im trying. i dont know why i cant hold a conversation with you. you made me feel uncomfortable walking around you. left me hurt. why cant you just say youre sorry. how could you let your pride and ego get in the way. my heart aches. you hurt me. you hurt mom. how could you say such things to her. stop projecting.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 3, 2020, 3:33 am UTC
i wish we had a better relationship. i really do. you fucked it up. and now i dont think ill ever be able to
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 3, 2020, 2:17 am UTC
You and grandma were supposed to go to my graduation, see me finish school and start my adulthood but the only way I can see you is in my dreams, in my senior photos I came out with the face of wanting to cry because That day I thought about what would have happened if they were there, I wonder every day if you thought about me before doing that stupid thing or if Grandma thought about how I would feel if she also left my side forever and it's not fair because just I was 16 when I had to mature more than I did at 11 when I had to face my problems and now I have to face and fight my depression
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 2, 2020, 10:07 pm UTC
I miss u I wish I could say u the last goodbye, it’s being really hard since u r gone , I’m sorry for that but I exhausted
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 2, 2020, 2:36 pm UTC
you've fucked up my whole life i just wish you could control your anger and not hurt me. i hate you so fucking much. i used to look up to you but i will never ever again.
From: ABC
To: dad
Date: December 1, 2020, 6:24 am UTC
i really want to say that i love you, because i do, but you never told me you love me so i guess i never learned how to say it to you. I really want to hear you say that you are proud of me, because i am proud of myself for staying
