Unsent messages to D

I hated the days I saw you, and the days I didn't. We were too young and you knew this, I was so hopeful for future that never came.

i should’ve been nicer to you, i’m sorry. i miss you all the time but i’m glad ur happy. i rlly was in love with you.

i got so used to talking to you, that when you stopped talking to me, i felt broken. i liked you a lot. and when i looked at your eyes, i falled harder while you didn't. i didn't like you as a friend and i do regret picking you. you were ignorant, you were-and are-selfish and make fun of others. but still, i do love you. just not like that anymore.

you never liked me. all that time I wasted thinking of you, only for you to go to just about everyone else. fuck you and the way you played me and my mind so. many. fucking. times.

I feel so alone. I have no friends not really. I won’t count u because our friendship just doesnt feel like it goes both ways. What the hell is wrong with me? I would jump infront of a bullet for u and u could care less. I cant talk to anyone . Im utterly alone and it is so scary. I know i know ive heard that bullshit phrase “ur never alone” a million times but i FEEL alone. I just want to leave to escape i just want to feel something anything i wanna be in love and get my heart broken and feel so happy i could cry and even feel so sad i could cry but instead i just feel numb.

I never know how to feel about u i love u so much but i get so mad at u and i would never tell u this but sometimes u make me hate myself and i know its not on purpose but it still hurts.sometimes i think about how much i hate myself but something stops me from going past the thought and im thankful that it does but its just so frustrating its like all my feelings are pent up and im worried that one day i will explode

if we could do it again, even with the same exact outcome, i would. that’s how much you mean to me. that’s how much i need you.

stále to bolí, aj keď som už s ním. navždy mi tá bolesť ostane v hlave, či už ako spomienka alebo ako varovanie pred tebou.

i don’t know how and why did i fall for you this hard but you clearly don’t care and i’m thinking everyday of you, i don’t like that

I hope you are well and I want you to know that I would give everything for you but I know that I was not enough and I know that you are better off without me

my life doesn’t have its purpose without you in it. i’m drowning in my thoughts hoping you’ll save me one day.

and i found myself having to smoke all the pain you caused away. repeatedly, to the point where i became addicted to weed as much as i was addicted to you.

you would really want a girl that sees you as nothing more than a friend, over someone who would put you above the world?

please, just please give me another chance. who cares what everyone thinks, all i need in life is knowing that you are happy and you have someone that will never leave your side

i felt safe around you and i didn't panick when you held me. that's the first time that's happened with anyone, not even my sister.

i would give anything just to stay up all night on the phone with you, just to actually hear your voice instead of seeing your face over a screen.

Your favorite color was pink. yea this is me 18 Jan remember?
im sinking and you are no longer here.

why dont you fucking care? you hurt me all the time and dont bother to pick me up again. some of the things you said tonight are sick, it makes me see the actual person you are. im some what glad we're over. please be a decent human fucking being.

If only I could go back to the moment when I got your first text.
I would do anything to feel that way again.
I would do anything to go back to that time and do everything I didn't to but at the same time I don't want to change what I did because you never loved me the same way I love you
It breaks my heart knowing that I will always love you
It breaks my heart every time I pass by you at school
I choose black because you we were wearing black at our first date lol but you probably didn't even realize

I wish you had never introduced me to tøp because every time I listen to their songs I think of you. And I shouldn’t think of you anymore.

sometimes I wish that I could be the one u smile at, care about and reach out to. but instead of me, it's her

I miss you so much. I wish I could talk to you everyday like we used to. Sometimes I miss the way you hugged me.

although you broke my heart I still think about you when I go to bed or when I wake up.
you destroyed me man but I still love you.

when we were holding hands you always looked around to see if any of your friends were looking at you.

I need someone to make me feel something. I need someone to make it all better. I don’t care if you leave. I need you now.

The moon left with you that night. It hasn’t come back since.. that’s how I knew you were gone. But everytime it’s in the sky it reminds me that your okay.

I know you never meant to hurt me. But you did. I can't hate you for loving someone else. And still, I try to. I'll let you go. I need more time.

i don't know many things. i don't know if you are my soulmate or not i don't know what i want etc but i know that i love ypu with all my heart and i will always love you

I will need be your first choice, ever. You'd talk about her in front of me like you didn't know it was pushing me further to the edge. It is inevitable that I will leave first.

Why don’t you love me back? No one will ever love you the way I do. Is it really worth it, losing me for him? Why do you love him? It hurts. So bad. You can have him but when it doesn’t work out like you wanted it to, don’t come running back to me.

i miss u so much lol. just texting you again after not texting you for a while makes me so happy and warm inside.

I think I’m starting to move on from you. I don’t feel guilty trying to move on and leave you behind anymore. it’s still extremely hard to let go of the expectations I had but I know they were never going to be true. I still miss you, you were a good person but you weren’t supposed to be my good person for the rest of my life I guess. it stings but it’s okay.

weve said it so many times but it was just awful timing. i was so ready and i heard you were too but then you stopped bc of someone else. id been waiting for MONTHS but i wasnt ready to get hurt again so the second i heard about her i made myself lose all feelings. ive tried so hard to make them come back and it seems to work for a little but then i think about her and then their gone again. i dont want to stop you from moving on but i dont know if i can even move on myself. i dont want to hurt you but letting you down but i know it has to hurt not knowing at all and i feel so bad not being able to give you an answer but i know its not know but i still dont know if its yes

im so sorry for dropping you the way i did and im so sorry that ive dragged you along for so long i dont know why i was so confused and i know that every time i apologize it probably doesnt help anything. i havent forgot ab you (obviously) but i think im just scared and i dont know why. every time i run away i end up coming back and i know it hurts you more than me. i just dont want to ruin everything between us if it could still work.

Always thought in the end it'd be you. I know you care so either you're too scared to be vulnerable or you just don't care enough. You make it too hard to love you so I give up. If you don't tell me soon I wont be there anymore

I wanted to see if the pieces fit upside down, and they did. But it’s too bad the picture didn’t make sense.

I'm struggling to move on from you. It's hard knowing you hate me but I cant move on it hurts to much

i’m sorry that i was so stubborn. i’m sorry that i couldn’t give you what you needed at the time. i still write songs about you :( hope you’re well.

I am in love with you. But you are in love with him. You want him. You need him. It will always be him. I wish it was me.

why can’t i love you the way i used to? our relationship is the same thing over and over. you’ve changed. not in a bad way, but not in a good way. you figure out what i like and repeatedly do it over and over. i get sick of it. i’m not gonna tell you that though because if i do you’ll never do it again

It sucks because all I want to do is run to you. Driving past today literally broke my heart. I can see the hate in your eyes. I am sorry.

Te extraño demasiado, han pasado ya casi dos años de la ruptura y no dejo de pensar que solo me siento cómoda, amada y yo misma contigo. Iría por ti pero lo intenté hace tiempo y siento que ya me cerraste las puertas de tu vida, ¿cómo se supera al amor de tu vida? Me siento triste, nos faltó tanto por vivir juntos.

always smelled your shirts when you were away. even the smell you left on your pillow, today your skin brushes mine and I merge with the universe. without being able to stop looking at your eyes and your lips. fuck?

You knew that i was still there and u kept making it seem like u were coming back but after the first time i said no because i was scared u were gone and u should have never come back because every time u do i think it’s different and it never is and we both know it will never work.

Gracias por los buenos momentos que me hiciste pasar a veces me pongo a pensar si en verdad te guste o era la opción más cercana pero de alguna forma me volví dependiente de ti y actualmente estoy mejorando creo pero me gustaría contarte tantas cosas y compartir más momentos contigo. También comienzo a cuestionar ciertas actitudes que tuviste conmigo y no llego a nada quiero llegar al fin de todo esto y sacarme de dudas de una vez pero siento que si te escribo sería una molestia para ti después de todo ya tienes a otra persona y estoy feliz por ti espero que disfrutes mucho tu vida. Te cuidaré por siempre

Lamento todos los días de mi vida el no haber valorado lo suficiente tu presencia en mi vida. Extraño hasta el último pedazo de tu existencia completa, pero merezco tu total ausencia por no ser capaz de darme cuenta de la pedazo de persona que tenía a mi lado. Te deseo lo mejor en la vida, aunque no sea a mi lado. Te quiero y te querré siempre, aunque nunca haya sido capaz de decírtelo :)

you made me feel like someone really cared about me at a time when i felt like no one did. i don’t know why you stopped talking to me (or why you later unadded me) and i’ll never know because i’ll never ask. i’m thankful that we seem to be on okay terms again just based off the group chat. thank you for caring for at least a small period of time when i really needed it.

i'm happy that i finally cut you off. i deserve better. your true colors were shown. don't ever speak to me again. thanks.

You’ll always have a spot in my heart that no one will be able to fill. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me and I know you have a good soul. I will always love you, I wish you the best.

i cant help but feel pain every time i see what you've become. i wonder if you've forgotten about me as i have yet to try and forget about you.

i still miss you. the old you.