Unsent messages to WILL

After everything this is what happened. I didn't expect it to end like this nor did I want it to. How'd you expect me to react. Be fine with it and not say anything. You never really wanted me, you knew it would never be me. I was just your temporary person, the one that would make you feel good until you realized you didn't need me anymore. I tried to be the best I could and I know I wasn't able to be the person you always wanted me, but I tried my best. I hope you find the person you always wanted cause I guess I just wasn't her.

I loved you more than anything. I will always be here for you but our love is no longer the same. It’s different now.

For two years, all of my daydreams were about you. Anytime I went anywhere, I fantasized about seeing you there. But when I did finally see you again, it didn't feel the same.

I wish I could tell you how I feel but IK you like someone else and I don’t want to lose you because you’re rlly cool and rlly sweet

Sometimes i think we'd be great together. I can't tell if you feel the same, but people always say we'd be great and i believe them...

you changed me, thankyou, I needed it.
I’m happy to finally say I don’t need or want you.
your negativity is infectious and without it I feel free

fuck u fuck u fuck u for what u did to me. u are a sad shell of a man and truly fucked up for thinking that was okay to do.

I can't believe that we were flirty with each other in class and you got a gf like a month later and still flirted with me. This is why I feel like the practice girl.

we were so close we told each other everything. but the then but i watch your eyes as the walks by what a sight for so eyes.

I hate that I still love you. I hate that despite how much you broke me, I’d go back without hesitation.

the way u left hurt the most. things were perfect and then you walked out of my life randomly, like i was nothing to u.

I hate your smile and I hate your eyes and I hate your laugh. I only hate them because I used to love them. And then you left.

i know it's not your fault that every time im reminded of you my day is ruined. i wish that you had actually valued me in the way it seemed like you did

why did you say the things you said? You knew that those types of things hurt me. You knew everything about me, and then you used it all against me.

when i looked at you i saw you, the person i cared most about. when you looked at me you saw her, i just held her place

Why did you change your mind. You said you liked me... It still hurts, I still think about you. I don't know if I can ever fall as hard for another man as I fell for you. I hope you're okay.

After on year, I still think of you before falling asleep, because it reminds me of the time that I was in your bed.

After one year, I still can't go in that stupid park, because it reminds me of you, the day that we met. (the background is black because its your favorite color, I still know that)

thankyou for being the person who taught me to love and what it’s like to be loved. you are always in my heart.

i like the colour green because of you. it makes me smile knowing i finally met a man that cares about me in the way that you do:)

I wish you cared for me when I need you the most not just when it was convenient for you or when you’d get something from it. I went against my morals for you and you don’t care.

I still have one picture of you saved on my phone. It's from 7th grade, I know, I know, so embarrassing, but you're smiling so big and look so happy in it. That's how I'm always going to remember you. I tried to bring myself to delete it but I don't think I ever will.

I'm just going to try everything to turn it all around because I want to make you proud. You wouldn't want me to give up now.

I still think it's so unfair how we ended. You said you didn't want to drag it out but I felt like we'd barely scratched the surface of where we could've gone. If it was one sided you should've accepted that from the first place- why did you ever ask me out? That's the part that makes me mad at you. I understand you were new to this kind of thing but I got forced to go along for the ride with you. I'm torn because the relationship made me who I am today and I am so grateful for our happy memories together, but so much pain could've been avoided if just one of us had gone home in a separate car that night we ended up actually talking for the first time. Even the happy memories hurt at this point, because they're tainted by what became of them. The first party, when we talked in the garage for hours while everyone thought we were hooking up. I've never been able to talk to someone I barely knew so easily. The second party; I was so happy, surrounded by my best friends with you by my side. The night we went to the field for the first time- again, we talked for hours and I never wanted to go home. I ended up back home at 12:30 and my parents didn't believe me when I said I'd been lying in a cold damp field for hours getting bitten by mosquitoes because why on earth would anyone do that. But for you it was worth it. The time we had dinner with my dad and my sisters I felt so much warmth and joy because they liked you so much, and the conversation was funny and flowed so well. That was the first time I've actually enjoyed family dinner in awhile.
It doesn't matter now, it's just annoying that I have to see you every day. I can't wait for next year when I'll finally be able to start to forget you exist.

Goodbye. Thank you. I'll miss you.

Hey I just wanna say I love you so much and I'm so thankful to have gotten close to you. I know we haven't said I love you yet but I truly do and I hope we're together for a long time, although next year we might face some difficulties. I just wanted to say how appreciative I am of you, and to apologize in advance for any moodiness or sadness I might portray, as I tend to self-sabotage my relationships.

why couldn’t i be your first choice the first time around why is there always someone better than me it hurts a lot

i really loved you. i just wanted you to love me back. you were my first real boy I really cared about and you will always be the boy in the back of my head. i will always like you even just a little bit. you took care of me, helped me through hard times, and I did the same. we stuck together and always ended up being friends again whenever we fought or got into drama. you were my first love, I always thought I was special to you. you would never tell my secrets or expose me to anyone. you kept me safe, didn't let anyone do anything, you made sure I laughed when I wasn't ok, you face timed me when I was crying so you could help me fall asleep. we always used to fall asleep on facetime with each other. i love you. i always will. we never got to say our goodbyes or final words without a fight, so bye will. i really did love you

i kinda regret the last one of these i wrote. maybe bc i put my name on it? maybe bc idek how much of what i said is actually true? but, whatever. miss u regardless. hopefully u never see these.

Why did you have to choose her? Why wasn't I enough for you? We were never together but I still miss you.

I still think about that time I went to your house and you made me really uncomfortable. I guess you don't remember it because it was great for you. You knew how much I liked you but you made me believe you did all night only for you to talk about sex. I pretty much hate you

i love you. you’re either gonna be the boy i marry or the reason i can’t love again. i’m all in. i hope one day i’ll be your wife.

I have never loved someone like you. I would do anything for you even if it meant us not being together forever.

I would love you and choose you over everyone and I want nothing more than to just have you in my life

I always hated when people said "I never meant to hurt you" because usually it was them letting themselves off the hook. Usually it didn't even mean anything. Usually people say it to excuse the damage or try to erase it somehow. I don't deserve to be let off the hook. I deserve the guilt of ruining us. You were the best person I ever met. You were the one, genuinely good person I knew. You felt like home to me and saved me time and time again. You were so good to me. And I wasn't good for you at all. I can't say I'm sorry for that because there's no words that I could come up with that would make it up to you. I wish I could take it back. I know you wish we never met and I understand that. I wish we never did too because you always deserved so much better than me and I really didn't deserve to be loved by someone like you only for it to end like this. I never wanted it to end like this. Maybe that's better than "I never meant to hurt you." Because with someone like you and someone like me, getting hurt was kind of always promised.

I ignored you when you wanted me, but I got hurt when you didn’t. In the end, I was hurting the most.

i thought you fucking ruined me for good, but after you, i found out what real truly love is. real love isn't yours.

i don’t miss you anymore!!! i don’t!!! it’s taken me so long !! i’ve found someone so much better for me!!

i have never stopped liking you. even when i try to convince myself otherwise. i will always have a soft spot for you

I always wonder what my life would be like if you chose me instead of her. i wish we were allowed to talk without her getting upset

i've been in love with you for so long that i know i'll never love anyone else as much as i love you.

I don't understand why I can't get you out of my head. I'm struggling so much to get over you. I miss how much fun you were and wish we were together. Or to find someone with your personality. Why do I still like you.

this is meant to be about romantic love i think but it doesn’t matter- anyway this might mean nothing to you but ‘twin size mattress’ i remember listening to it with you in your house after what happened on the 12th of august. and i still listen to that song

sometimes I wish we just stayed friends, I wish we were still friends. i don't miss you but sucks that we lost our friendship

I miss you so much my heart aches from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep again. It's been 8 months- when will it stop?

You are the most intelligent person I've ever met. You're going to do great things. I'm sorry that life was hard for you, you didn't deserve that. I'm so glad that you stuck around and I'm proud of you.

I hope she makes you happy like I never could. You want nothing to do with me now, but I hope you have the most beautiful life. I miss you.

I still can't believe you left. I still love you and now you love someone new. Do you ever think about me?

i miss u. i wonder if you’ll see this. i wish we could talk and be friends but our lives don’t fit right together idk i wish you would text me and want me to be in ur life again i have so much to tell u

hey. I was just thinking about you, hopefully you're doing good. Ever since we stopped talking i've felt empty. i miss u so much. i miss your kissys. i miss your voice, i want to hear it so bad. i still love you so much, i know that it is time for me to move on but i just cannot. you made me so happy and made me feel loved, something i didn't feel before you and now without you i feel miserable. ive tried reaching out but u don't seem to care at all, and that is what hurts the most. all i want is for u to be happy whether it is w me or without me, you deserve love. i want to move on so bad, i don't want to feel like this. hopefully you are doing well.All my love,E

Before I met you I never felt that horrible sick to your stomach heartbreak feeling before and then when you came into my life it became something I feel every single day. And the funny thing is, I bet you've never had to feel it once. I kind of hate you for that, Will. But I mean I guess it's nice that you get to forget what I never will be able to.