I would give anything to twist my fingers around the curls in your hair, and hear you say my name just one more time. God I fucking miss you.

Sometimes when I feel like I'm never going to get over you I like to read stories from other heartbroken people. They ended up losing the guy who was supposed to be "the one" too so maybe you weren't really the one even though I wanted you to be. I don't know. I saw you again today when I least expected it and it caught me off guard. I've been locked inside for so long I thought any dose of reality would make me feel a million things. Obviously it made me feel something otherwise I wouldn't be here again. It's just exhausting. You've forgotten all about me and I have thousands of things I want to say but they have nowhere to go. Anyway, I saw you today and I think it was a good thing. For the longest time you've existed just in a theory. He exists in a world that's millions of miles away. We're in the same town still and yet it still feels like we've never been further apart. I feel better now than I have. I still miss you. I still wish things were different but it was good for me to see that all this time you were right in front of my face and weren't far away at all. You've been right here this entire time. And we still never ended up together. Because we're not meant to be together. Because you don't love me and I can't make you love me. I know, I know- a little late for realizing but you were always smarter than me. I'm happy I saw you today. I'm happy that you're happy and alive and doing well and life for you has been better than ever than before. I'm not there yet but I think where I am is a place where I can see that our lives aren't connected anymore and feel those feelings and be okay with them. We aren't together. You aren't coming back. And if you had seen me too, you wouldn't have wanted it. Because you don't want me. And that's okay that you don't want me because the you now is a you that doesn't exist in our story anymore. I am still waiting for a you that lived and died in a five month window two years ago and that you has packed their bags and grown up and locked whatever we were deep down in your subconscious. Past you and current you have one thing in common. We were always so close to getting it right and yet missed each other every single time. I want to sign off with "I love you, Will" but I think maybe after a good year and a half of having my heart just be destroyed by you making it very clear you never loved me, maybe I can say that I loved you. I really did love you. And now I really can let you go. I think it's time for me to accept this and let it go. I'll still wonder and hope and think about you but I need to think about me because I can't waste my life over someone who probably hasn't thought about mine in months. Good luck and keep staying safe. I don't want to wish you bad things or love you or hate you or miss you or want you or think about you anymore. I just want to keep what we were locked up for a while. At least until I have something to replace those feelings with. Something that doesn't hurt me. Something that wants to stay.

i don't know if you were my first love. but somehow, someway, i always came back to you. it always felt like it was you, will. i miss you, our friendship, our dynamic. my yearbook is waiting for you to finish what you started.

I loved you with everything and you still left.. but thank you for teaching me how to love myself and I know I don't need anyone.
So thanks for that (:
P.S. Hope she was worth it

hey. i miss you. i wish we didn’t end so suddenly. i also lied to you that i wasn’t a virgin but i was. i thought you’d like me more if i wasn’t. i feel like things would’ve went really well if we met during another time in our lives. i loved you a lot

I still think about that time I went to your house and you made me really uncomfortable. I guess you don't remember it because it was great for you. You knew how much I liked you but you made me believe you did all night only for you to talk about sex. I pretty much hate you

You never loved me, u knew you didn't love me and yet u continued to mess me around. I made myself miserable.

i’ll wait for you, but until then i will look for pieces of you in everyone i meet. i can still feel you holding me. i love you.

you’ve been someone else’s for 2 years now, and i’ve moved on but i still can’t stop imagining life with you

Why did you have to choose her? Why wasn't I enough for you? We were never together but I still miss you.

i kinda regret the last one of these i wrote. maybe bc i put my name on it? maybe bc idek how much of what i said is actually true? but, whatever. miss u regardless. hopefully u never see these.

the way you touched my body was with a hunger that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with your dick. fuck you.

does your mother know you took the virginity of a girl who trusted you more than anything? and better yet does she know how you broke her?

I know you think I like your friend but, I really like you. I don’t think you like me back but I just wish you knew...

i really loved you. i just wanted you to love me back. you were my first real boy I really cared about and you will always be the boy in the back of my head. i will always like you even just a little bit. you took care of me, helped me through hard times, and I did the same. we stuck together and always ended up being friends again whenever we fought or got into drama. you were my first love, I always thought I was special to you. you would never tell my secrets or expose me to anyone. you kept me safe, didn't let anyone do anything, you made sure I laughed when I wasn't ok, you face timed me when I was crying so you could help me fall asleep. we always used to fall asleep on facetime with each other. i love you. i always will. we never got to say our goodbyes or final words without a fight, so bye will. i really did love you

I wish I could remember the day I fell in love with you but I just can't seem to do it. It's like we were always connected somehow, like the history of us went back way further than the time we started and ended. It's so strange how life happens. One day you're a boy who I know and I pass and I don't feel a thing and now I don't think I'll ever be able to look at you and not feel a thing. Sometimes I imagine what life would have been like if it just never happened. if that day, that moment, that exchange, whatever it was, if the universe had just let me not feel it and let it pass. Sometimes I wonder but then I realize I wouldn't wish for that ever. Because the lesson of you, of us, all the hurt and the fights and the mistakes, it just taught me what it meant to love someone. Not perfectly, not in the best way, but it taught me how it felt to look at someone and know that you always wanted them to be happy and that you always would feel like they made you better. You taught me how to love people and I wouldn't change that for anything. Next time I'll love better. If only I could have gotten it right the first time. I can't believe how much time has passed and so quickly. I'm so happy that you're happy now and i think I finally mean that. For awhile I was so angry with you but as time would have it, I can see it clearly now. We had to end whatever we were doing and we should never do that again because we're not right for each other. You deserve someone who gets it right the first time and I deserve a chance to start over somewhere else. She deserves you, Will. Because I think for a long time she was unhappy and a little lost and I think anyone who feels like that needs to be around someone like you. You are human sunshine. You should be around other people who feel like sunshine and don't take any of that away. I know, I know, you'll never see this and probably will never want to hear from me again. But I just wanted to put it into the universe that I'm happy for you. I hope you stay happy. And I forgive you. I didn't think I ever would, but I understand why you had to leave and I see that it was for the best. I think you two are good for each other and I hope that it lasts, for whatever it's worth.

It took me too long to realise that I was worth way more than the way you treated me and how u made me feel

im scared that it could just turn out like my last relationship. i dont know if your interested in my enough to keep caring and trying. your already starting to air me. i feel like im losing you ever though we are nothing.

You're one of the only boys who treated me right. I still trust you to this day and I still have everything you gave me. Hope you're good.

i will never be able to apologise enough everything. i would give anything to be able to talk to you one last time.

im really sorry. it would have never worked out. I should have known sooner. We have very different lives and I don't even really know what I want yet. What I do know is that I need to be with someone more like me.

you changed me, thankyou, I needed it.
I’m happy to finally say I don’t need or want you.
your negativity is infectious and without it I feel free

I’m addicted to your energy. I always rush out of physics so I can smile at you before you walk away with your friends.

I’m addicted to your energy. I always rush out of physics so I can smile at you before you walk away with your friends.

i fucking hate you so much. you never cared about me. you just wanted to use me. why would you make me feel like im not good enough? i already know i'm not. you're an awful person. i can't believe i stayed after you cheated. the breakup hurt me more than it did you. fuck you will. seriously.

You said that you would always be here for me but you left the second someone better came along. You were one of the only people I ever told about my mental health issues and trauma that I've been through. I really trusted you and you judged me for that. You ruined me for a little while and completely made me question my self esteem. I thought that I was worthless because you told me that you loved me and that I could count on you. I really thought that I could believe you but then you turned into someone I don't even recognize. It's like you betrayed my trust in every way you knew you could and then walked away and wrote off everything that happened as collateral damage for you getting to be happy in life now that you don't have to deal with my problems anymore. I never wanted to burden you. I just thought you loved me enough where you could help me so I wouldn't have to carry it alone. I don't trust people anymore because of you. I don't say "I love you" as easily as I did before because of you. Because you were the one person I thought genuinely loved me and would always be here. I thought I found it with you but you just felt sorry for me I guess. Or maybe you just wanted to seem like a nice guy. But either way, you really, really hurt me. You made me feel like I was completely unlovable. I'm better now but that doubt that you put in me never went away because every time I think someone is starting to love me I remember what you put me through and feel like love isn't even worth it anymore.

Sometimes i think we'd be great together. I can't tell if you feel the same, but people always say we'd be great and i believe them...

i hate that i loved you. i hate the things you did, i hate who you made me, but most of all i hate how you made me think this type of love was normal.

we're getting married one day. We'll find each other again. Not even worried, you won't find another girl like me ;)

I wish I could tell you how I feel but IK you like someone else and I don’t want to lose you because you’re rlly cool and rlly sweet

why couldn’t i be your first choice the first time around why is there always someone better than me it hurts a lot

I really wish that we never met because I missed out on so much because I was so sad that you didn't want me.

If you ever decided to reach out again, I know I would forgive you even though I hate you for what you did.

Hey I just wanna say I love you so much and I'm so thankful to have gotten close to you. I know we haven't said I love you yet but I truly do and I hope we're together for a long time, although next year we might face some difficulties. I just wanted to say how appreciative I am of you, and to apologize in advance for any moodiness or sadness I might portray, as I tend to self-sabotage my relationships.

id be lying if i said i havent thought about u at all. ur always the first thought on my mind even though its been since june. i miss u. ill always want u.

i regret it, I'm sorry. I'll keep waiting for you but please come back soon, I miss you.
i love you forever loser
Kenz x

you’ve caused me so much pain, but i would go through it a million more times just to feel your love.

I still think it's so unfair how we ended. You said you didn't want to drag it out but I felt like we'd barely scratched the surface of where we could've gone. If it was one sided you should've accepted that from the first place- why did you ever ask me out? That's the part that makes me mad at you. I understand you were new to this kind of thing but I got forced to go along for the ride with you. I'm torn because the relationship made me who I am today and I am so grateful for our happy memories together, but so much pain could've been avoided if just one of us had gone home in a separate car that night we ended up actually talking for the first time. Even the happy memories hurt at this point, because they're tainted by what became of them. The first party, when we talked in the garage for hours while everyone thought we were hooking up. I've never been able to talk to someone I barely knew so easily. The second party; I was so happy, surrounded by my best friends with you by my side. The night we went to the field for the first time- again, we talked for hours and I never wanted to go home. I ended up back home at 12:30 and my parents didn't believe me when I said I'd been lying in a cold damp field for hours getting bitten by mosquitoes because why on earth would anyone do that. But for you it was worth it. The time we had dinner with my dad and my sisters I felt so much warmth and joy because they liked you so much, and the conversation was funny and flowed so well. That was the first time I've actually enjoyed family dinner in awhile.
It doesn't matter now, it's just annoying that I have to see you every day. I can't wait for next year when I'll finally be able to start to forget you exist.

Goodbye. Thank you. I'll miss you.

I'm just going to try everything to turn it all around because I want to make you proud. You wouldn't want me to give up now.

I never knew you that well but your death still makes my heart ache. You probably didn't even give it a second thought at the time, but I will always be grateful for your big smile, friendly handshake and funny jokes on my first day of uni. It made me feel at ease when I felt completely out of my depth and alone.

I still have one picture of you saved on my phone. It's from 7th grade, I know, I know, so embarrassing, but you're smiling so big and look so happy in it. That's how I'm always going to remember you. I tried to bring myself to delete it but I don't think I ever will.

you will never find anyone as good as her again. and you won’t realise how amazing she is until she’s gone. you’re a dickhead, and you don’t deserve her at all. and i stg if you hurt her one more time i’m coming for u xoxox

You always told me that you and I were the same in that we both always worried so much about the future that we missed the present. Ever since we ended it, I can tell you've been so much happier. I think it's because you learned how to do that on your own and I was the thing that held you back from being happy with life as it is. I'm still trying my best to be happy by myself and to not worry as much as I do. I know what you would tell me. You were always right and I never could see it. I should have taken your advice. I'm sorry for that.

I hate that I miss you. Why do I care about you so much? you led me on, you talked to me only when you were bored..only when the other pretty girls didn't give you attention...you only flirted for reassurance from me and to build up your ego, and for that you're fucked up. I hate you more that...but I like you..liked I guess idk. I'm trying to do better without you and watch me. You're gonna regret it just watch.

you’ll be worth the wait, you’re my other half & maybe now isn’t the time but i’m still holding on..

maybe you were it for me :( i don’t know if i can love anyone else. it’s been a year, why are you still in my head?

i wish it was as simple as saying fuck you and cutting you off but we both know i dont have the willpower for that, i hope some day i get over you. till then i guess its the same old red hoodie bullshit

Lord willin is what I would call you. Your birthday was yesterday. You shattered my heart like no one ever has, and Even thought we are young....I thought you were the one. even after everything I still hope our paths cross again in the future.

i'm sorry i didn't see until after it was too late. i miss your heart beat and running my fingers through your hair.

every night you slip into my head and my heart skips three beats it hearts so bad how much i miss you