I wish I could have made you happy. I wish I could have been for you what you were for me. As badly as it ended, you made me feel more loved than anyone ever could, but more than that, I felt safe with you. For the first time in a long time I felt like I had a home somewhere. I'll always be grateful to you for that. I feel like for the longest time I was running from a lot and it was mostly of my own doing, I just had a lot of baggage and dark thoughts circling all the time. I thought meeting you and being close to you made them disappear but that wasn't it. They never went away you just lit them up. You were a light for me. There's that saying "people are meant to radiate or drain" all that you gave me I never had anything to give you back. and it was selfish of me to think that that could last. I should have walked away sooner but I was scared that losing you meant that I would never be happy again. And that I would have to face everything you protected me from feeling. You are the human form of everything good in this world. And I hurt you. And that's the one thing that I think is always going to follow me wherever I go. You seem happy now though, so maybe it was all for the best and it happened for a reason. I would take it back if I could though. You didn't deserve to be dragged down by me and the weight of everything I was too scared to figure out on my own. I wish I could be a light, loving, sweet, good person. Because maybe then we could have been something more than what we were. Or maybe I could just see it as something short that we had that's over now. Rather than me living in your world without you. I'm happy you're happy, Will. If I thought I'm sorry was enough to make up for that lost time where you were stuck with me, I'd say it a thousand times a day.

I wonder where we're both going to end up. Five, ten years from now. I have this picture in my head sometimes of where I imagine you'll go. I think you'll land in a big city and have an apartment overlooking it all. You'll have late nights with old friends and get drunk on the weekends and live to the fullest almost every day. I think you'll be a journalist or work in a big office somewhere but you'll love it. You'll love it because you feel like your opinion is being heard. I think you'll travel and cover stories all across the world and maybe write them all down alongside the pictures you take, kind of like working as a professional post card creator. I think that's when you'll fall in love with someone else and you'll get married and have two kids and a dog and you'll decorate for every single holiday- even the silly ones. You're going to be happy forever. You're going to live the best life anyone's ever had and I'll keep you in the back of my mind, hoping that you ended up there even if I can never find the courage to type in your name and find out for myself. You're going to see the world someday and the world is going to love you. You're going to have so many good stories. If we ever meet again, I hope I'll get to hear them.

thank you, you thought me how to love me and not to take anyone/ anything for granted cause they might not always be there. for all that you've done im willing too forgive you. so, here is what I've been up to: i met a new guy, he treats me how you did. he doesn't love me as much as you did, but finding you you dated my best friend a week after we broke up i take it you never loved me as much, but her and i are still friends aren't as close. i wish i could build up the courage to text you but i can't, it will be weird. i still think about you, almost every day. we would've been dating for over a year now, everyday i think about you and what we had. it hurts to know ill never have what we had again. sometimes i think about what would happen if i just text you, like what would you say, would you respond as quick, would you care as much, could we just have a normal conversation again. or have i ruined that to?

im slowly falling in love with you and I'm so so scared. but its happening. and i can't seem to do anything about it.

If only you loved me the way I love you, I think we would still have a chance at falling in love with each other

I keep hoping that there is a little piece of you that still cares for me. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you could just drop me like I was nothing. Maybe I was nothing to you, but it still hurts. Honestly, I just want to be able to scream "Fuck you!" at the top of my lungs. You deny that you feel anything for me, yet you always come crawling back and breaking me more. I think that I live in your head rent-free, and I'm ready to move the fuck out.

you were my first secondary school crush, and now as we’re finishing secondary school, it’s come flooding back. i thought we were developing a bond, meanwhile you were drawn back to her :’) i think you’ll always be in my heart, whether it matters to you or not. enjoy the record

how can i get closer to you? i want you to feel like you can be yourself. will we ever say I love you? how long is this going to last? is the fleeting attachment worth the pain? i always miss you.

I’m attracted to you too, even though we are both in relationships and your gf is my friend, I feel it too. We both love our partners so we will always push it to the side, but I just want you to know I feel it to

I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about you. I'll always wonder what we could've been. I hope you do too

how dare you? i trusted you and you used me. i don’t think you ever really loved me, but i still supported you while you ruined everything. i hope you’re alone forever.

though I only knew you through the screen, you meant a lot to me, I still listen to the playlist you made me

i’m tired of pretending you wrote all of these to me, we fought, pandemic, i moved, no goodbye, i miss u

i’m tired of pretending you wrote all of these to me, we fought, pandemic, i moved, no goodbye, i miss u

I like you so much, and I hope you find happiness with me, or I hope I'm enough for you to live. Please, you mean so much to me.

You are the first person who has ever loved me. I’m sorry I didn’t say it back right then. But I love you too.

In 8 months I'm never going to see you again and that makes me so fucking happy. Enjoy whatever mediocre state school you managed to get into. Settling is kind of your thing.

I love you so much I wish you knew and I wish I knew how to show it better. I hope you never actually will leave this world, my life wouldn't be mine without you in it.

i wish you knew how hard i fell for you walking through that target, and how much you hurt me when you said goodbye.

i don’t miss you anymore!!! i don’t!!! it’s taken me so long !! i’ve found someone so much better for me!!

you showed me a type of love i’ve never known, and i’m forever thankful. music still hasn’t sounded the same without you. it’s been nine months and I still pray for you every night.

Happy one year anniversary of you telling me you never loved me and blaming me for being upset about it then telling all your friends I was the crazy one for believing one word that came out of your fucking mouth!

i thought you fucking ruined me for good, but after you, i found out what real truly love is. real love isn't yours.

i had the biggest crush on you when i was 12 and now as we’re finishing secondary school it’s all coming back to me. these last couple of weeks i did think we had something but you’re back with bella and that’s ok . you know where to find me if something happens

Hey, I can't get you out of my head and it's killing me because we've never even met in person, I can't wait until corona is over

i ruined it. im so sorry. i think i loved you at some point. i miss the songs you would tell me to listen to.

i never knew how you felt about me. now that i know, i always think about the what ifs. if i’m being honest, i don’t even know how i feel about you. but i do know you’re someone extremely special to me, and i wish we were able to be more honest about our feelings. so please, one day, just let me know.

We were too young to know what we actually liked. So what I am saying is now I know that I don’t like you

I spent so much time feeling so guilty about everything that happened between us but I don't really anymore. Everything you ever told me was a lie anyway so I really didn't ruin anything that wasn't completely worthless in the first place.

You liked me before i realised i liked you, then we were separated. i thought i was over it but you still live in my dreams.

I was scared to tell you the truth because I thought that you would think I was a bad person for not being able to stop it.

I'm officially letting go of you. I know we'll both find happiness without each other and eventually with other people, and I'm truly excited for both of our futures. Thank you for the memories that we'll both have forever. I'll see you in another lifetime sweet boy ;)

as i was trying to put you back together, you shattered me and i lost myself for so long. yet, i'll always come back to you.

i miss you everyday will. if I could go back to your last day I would hug you and say a proper goodbye. going back to scotts valley without you feels so different now nothing’s the same. I think about you often and I think you’re watching over me and all of us. I always and forever will pour one out for you. LLWB I miss you

It's the end of this year tomorrow and even though you ended things with me a long time ago and have moved on already I still struggled a lot with letting you go this year. I think 2021 is exactly what I need because it'll be the first year where there's no sight of you in my life at all. Clean slate. I'm giving this up because holding onto it is making me really unhappy and I think that even though I made a lot of mistakes I deserve a second chance at being happy with someone else.

You were “the one” in my eyes. But ur heart was always too big for just one woman. Ur head is big too.

I wish I could tell you how crushed I would be if you made that decision, but I can’t. This already hurt us once, and I’m scared of it happening again and so are you.

I ignored you when you wanted me, but I got hurt when you didn’t. In the end, I was hurting the most.

I always hated when people said "I never meant to hurt you" because usually it was them letting themselves off the hook. Usually it didn't even mean anything. Usually people say it to excuse the damage or try to erase it somehow. I don't deserve to be let off the hook. I deserve the guilt of ruining us. You were the best person I ever met. You were the one, genuinely good person I knew. You felt like home to me and saved me time and time again. You were so good to me. And I wasn't good for you at all. I can't say I'm sorry for that because there's no words that I could come up with that would make it up to you. I wish I could take it back. I know you wish we never met and I understand that. I wish we never did too because you always deserved so much better than me and I really didn't deserve to be loved by someone like you only for it to end like this. I never wanted it to end like this. Maybe that's better than "I never meant to hurt you." Because with someone like you and someone like me, getting hurt was kind of always promised.

I can keep leaving you alone if you want but just know it’s not easy and I miss you so much. You don’t know how fast my heart was beating and how my stomach dropped when I saw you with another girl and I had to pretend it didn’t hurt when all I wanted was you. Please come back to me I miss you and would do things different this time

I know you really love her now and I couldn't be more happy I just wish I could've held on to you longer

youre using me. you never actually thought i was pretty. youre just like everyone who ive fallen for. ur just using me. all u ask me for are nudes all the time. i actually like you will. i really do. you absolute cunt.

it hurts because i care for you so much im not sure if i love you im not sure of anything, but i know that my heart longs for you when your not here. Theres a lot i havent told you, theres a lot i need to work out. i dont know what im doing i am so close to letting go and i cant put you through that but im holding onto anything that makes me feel loved,, anything that gives me a reason to live but i dont think its working. if only you could feel the trapped emotions in my chest i want to express to you. im confused as to what i want to do right now i hope you will come to understand that im sorry im trying

I would love you and choose you over everyone and I want nothing more than to just have you in my life

I have never loved someone like you. I would do anything for you even if it meant us not being together forever.

I'm scared of everything all the time because ever since you left I feel like I have nothing to depend on it's like I'm walking on a tight rope and I can't see the ground because I'm too far up.

I keep sitting around my apartment and imagining you in the places you always stood - staring out my window at sunset or standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine. I’d give anything to see you here again.

I’ve liked you since March. we both told each other and we have admitted we liked each other but I want to be more then friends without ruining our bond and it’s eats at me everyday how bad I want to look at you and say I love you

aw. i miss my friend. do you read these?hmm. i hope u are taking care of yourself. i feel like we grew out of eachother and that’s fine! my life went down a whole different path when we stopped talking and it’s been really beautiful and crazy, i hope you don’t have any hatred towards me. i have a lot of funny stories I wish I could tell u. do u still have tht key chain??? thank you for being there for me this summer. stay in school. id text you this but my egos a little too big and I figure you won’t answer anyway bahaha. maybe when we’re older we will see eachother at the grocery store and say hey lol

i love you. you’re either gonna be the boy i marry or the reason i can’t love again. i’m all in. i hope one day i’ll be your wife.