Unsent messages to THOMAS

Every time I talk to you I smile the rest of the day. You don't even know I liked you but I considered you my class boyfriend in a few of our classes.

I wish it coulda worked out I really thought we were supposed to be together I really thought you liked me too

I was supposed to upgrade my phone but I didn't want to cuz I didn't wanna lose all the photos I have of you in my camera roll. I still have that album and all 1,000 pics inside of it.

How do i tell you i love you.. its all so complicated- we are both happy maybe i will keep it to myself

I’m happy we are still friends but thank you for treating me the way you did. It made me grow in ways I didn’t know were possible

i am over you but i still think of you. you hurt me more than anyone and i still cant find it in me to forgive you. even after 4 years

I’ve moved out of NC. I won’t forget how I felt with you, we never even dated.. you made me happy but yet I felt so damn used.

i hope i never come back on here to write something bad about you... you mean the world to me and our story is just starting.

i like you. you're very pretty and i think your puffy hair is cute. i'm sorry but i don't know what happened or why you stopped being you but... i miss you

i still love you. I hope that maybe one day you will return those feelings. I have tried hard to love myself, but you're the only person who ever loved me. i miss you.

I chose this color because it reminds me of your eyes, I never thought I'd fall in love with someone I met on the Internet but you came along and captivated me, you're a very sweet boy, I wish you didn't live 6,000 miles away, I wish I could keep you close to me but I can't.

wish you could come home; you don't deserve any of the shit you're getting. i believe in you, miss you bud.

Thomas. I tried to find the closest color I could to lavender. When you dm'd me for the first time it filled me up with a joy I hadn't felt in a long time. I hope you understand that the joy I felt wasn't love but the happiness to have someone finally ask how my day was. You are a dear friend to me and I hope that despite the fact that we will most likely never be together, I value the relationship we do have. I'm sorry.

lol u were the first crush i had in 6 years and u fucked it up. ur words hurt yk. im sat here having a fucking breakdown over you. we barely even spoke but you gave me fanny flutters. i know what you did to my friend. i heard what u said about this other girl but it makes sense now. ur ignorant i hope u get better soon dickhead. fuck you babe xoxo

im sat here crying over your ass. i fucking hate you. youre so fucking rude and i hope your 'reputation' isnt too damaged you cunt

We slept together again. I don't think this will ruin our friendship. But sometimes I wish it was more.

I still can’t get over you I know you aren’t exactly perfect and I kinda made you better in my head but I really liked you

You hurt me bad. You were one of the boys I ever cried over. I’m so
happy you’re out of my life now.

Tengo muchas ganas de enviarte un mensaje diciendote que extraño y que me respondas que tú también, sin embargo se que no es así, y prefiero seguir teniendo la esperanza de que si lo haces.

idk how else to put this but i guess it was nice to like you for 20 days even tho you knew that i liked you but didn't say anything. also great help when i was having a mental breakdown i needed that help

i met someone today. when we got to talking i got the same feeling i got when i met you; except he wasn't you. it got me thinking so let me get this off my chest...

you told me to leave so i left. you were so unhappy and i thought it was because of me. i never would have left if i thought i could help or even make things the slightest bit better, but we both know at that point we were absolutely toxic to each other. both of us. i don't hold these things against you or even really think you did them on purpose because we were learning. you broke me. so bad i didn't even admit it to myself. it made me feel stupid and unimportant. i still find myself replaying some of the things you would say to me. i knew that you were just hurting but then somewhere along the way i started hurting too. i forgot who you were and i didn't even exist anymore. i was so lost and i just missed you.

seeing you again last year was a mistake. i don't entirely remember what i said, but i'm sure it was certainly less than polite. for that i'm so sorry. it was a reflection of how i was feeling, not about who you are. you have every right to feel however it is that i made you felt. i hope one day you can forgive me.

i am so mad at you. i will always be so mad at you. i mean how could i not be, you know? it's okay to be mad at me too.. just don't ever hate me okay?
i am so hopeful for you jack. i know that you will do something so beautiful with your life. i picture you in ten years laughing and smiling with your wife in the kitchen, and your little ones running around. you always said you'd die young but jack, i know that you'll live to be old and grey with wrinkled lines around your happy eyes. you have no idea how often i think of you fondly or notice small things that always somehow lead back to you. i think everyone thinks their love story is the one that will last. i had no doubt in my mind ours would. i think i'll always deep down be expecting you to show up at my doorstep, but i know that's not realistic. i'm ready to cut my losses and move on (i know, finally right). not because i'm over you, that's just not possible. i'm tired of missing you. i'm ready to be excited for you now. jack, our love story may have not ended in happily ever after or whatever but for what it's worth i will never forget you.

i don't know why, but i think i wanna apologize. i'm sorry for cutting you off like that. maybe i was scared? angry? i don't know. i'm sorry for treating you like shit after i dumped you. maybe i still wanna be friends? i don't know what i want. we both fucked up, and it's time i admit that i did

I know we don’t talk, we just see each other on the bus ... but it made me realize that even though I still love you like I did 1 year ago, you’ll never get this, but I sincerely hope you feel good in your new school and you’ll find a a girl who might fit you better than I ever did ... take care of yourself!

losing communication with you was the hardest thing i ever had to do. you came into my life when i felt like i was nothing more than just another life. you made me feel safe. you made me sane. you loved all my imperfections and made me feel that they were perfect. now the thought of nights with you run through my head all the time, even times where i try not to think of you. i wish you were here to experience what is happening. you would’ve loved every second of it. maybe one day in life, i can call you mind again. until then, i hope you’re happy and i hope she’s treating you well. you deserve the world and more. i love you always.

im talking to someone new. i know we broke up bc we both were unhappy and it was for the better, but i still worry that he wont compare to you

i loved u and i wish it could have lasted. even though u moved on, i will always hold u close to my heart. even if u resent me, we had something very special and i am forever thankful for everything u introduced me to. i owe a lot of my confidence to u and u really made me happy for those years we had together. i hope she treats u well.

I hate you. You've ruined so much for me, you took everything from me. You will always have control over me and I hate it.

whyd u leave..? i really loved u man. like we thought of our family and our future together. we both dreamed of it. ive never been so heartbroken in my life, and im never going to love someone the way i loved u. hope ur well w ur hoes.

After everything we've been through, you deserve the peace you've been getting, I'm just sorry you were never able that kind of peace with me

ouch. her? i don’t get it. i don’t think i ever will. i thought maybe, one day, it’d be me & you. i think i was wrong.

you were the first boy i ever truly loved. yet i still let you break my heart. i know i need to let you go, but at the same time i don’t want to.

I told you how I felt you then flirted with girls right in front of me on purpose, yet I still think of you all the time.

I knew I was really in love with you, when you held me when I was crying when I didn't even know what was wrong. Thank you, you forever hold a special place in my heart.

im sat fucking thinking about you and i fucking hate it. fuck you. i know u dont think u did anything but you did. fuck you its your loss anyway

im sorry im not your ideal girl. im sorry my body isnt like hers im sorry my hair isnt light like hers.

I’m not mad you like her more. I know she’s prettier. I just want to know if you felt that way about me before.

You were the first one I fell in love with, but you hurt me. I think you liked to act like you cared. I miss you sometimes

in 8th grade, people always joked about us being together. i would always deny it but in reality, i really liked u. and i still do.

i've always liked u since middle school. i've never stopped liking u. u r perfect and i want to tell u how i feel but im scared. i hope one day we will be together.

hey i remember when we used to talk all the time in middle school. i miss u and i've always liked u. we sort of drifted since we had no classes together in high school.

Honestly i dont blame you for breaking my hear but as time goes on i miss texting you and seeing you.

a snap memory came up from one year ago today. It was a video of me forcing you to help me clean your locker. It looked so good and even though you said you hated it I could see the pride in your face. That night I went over to your house and we watched movies and cuddled on your couch. I would tease you and you would roast the shit out of me and then we'd laugh. We made out and every once and a while you'd stop to tell me how I was so cute. Leaving was always awful. I wanted you to stay with me forever. You'd tell me it was time to go and I just dreaded it. Our love was just so strong and so joyous. Why did you fall out of it? Was it not enough? I love you. I want you. Why did you have to leave me?

I wish you could have seen the way my eyes glistened when you sang. I'll never forget that moment, the moment that started it all.

I am always thinking about you. I imagine you all day. You’re never not on my mind. I still love you.

there are a hundred things i want to say to make you change your mind, but i know you won't. and that's okay, i still appreciate everything you did for me, even if it seemed small.

Your were the first person that I have actually love which is not likely of me bc a lot of people like and I don't like them back but you made me change bc i know that you liked me and you liked me and you can say you dont but i know will i fall in love with you and i never fall out of love for you. I fall in love with your smile omg. i fall in love with your personality. I know that I wasn't that pretty but i know you liked me for some reason but you know i have change you most likely wont recognize me but i will recognize you bc you have a perfect smile and pretty eyes, You love your niece you are so good with and now i what love was and i wont but hopefully i will find someone like you.

i havent had a dream about you in months. i think im finally over you and im so happy that i am, please never come back.

I still love you, I still feel something for you in my heart. I hope youre doing well. I am happy now.

So i miss you a ton. I want things to just workout like everyone says they will. sometimes i worry about you and i worry you dont trust me. I wish i would've said bye and actually given you a hug. I wish i could tell you how I feel. I wish i could go back to that night and said yes.

you told my what you couldn’t tell anyone else and i have been hurt ever since. you didn’t mean to. but you took something from me, and now i can’t watch the show. i miss you. i hope you’re doing better, and not pretending anymore. i hope you can be honest with someone else.