Unsent messages to JACOB

you should have fought harder. i know i wasn’t ready for you but you let me go. you should have fought harder :(

hi i cant stop thinking about you even th0 we have not talked in months. i barely know anything about you but i think im in love with you.

I miss you man. I wish I could be with you. But its for the better. Im happy I got to know you. It had to happen.

I made this the colour of that dumb sweater you always wear. I don't think you will ever know how much you affect me

I wish I could talk to you. Ive tried. But you just ignore me. I know I was horrible. I know I probably hurt you. I didnt mean to. I just push people I love away. And im sorry. I loved you. I truly did. But now you treat me like we are strangers. That have never met and never will. I guess I have to accept it. Its hard when you live next to me.

bro im in love with you, i treat you like a close friend but i love you and it sucks im too broken to love

I have yet to meet you, but we have been talking for 132 days and i miss you. I dont know why you havent tried to make a move but it makes me think youre not interested, which youre probably not but idc. All of my friends know about you. Youre in my dreams. I've thought about our future too, even though the only future youre worried about is working and making $. Its fine though because i know you dont deserve me. Whatever happens deep down i think you'll always be my first love.

so i know you hate me and all, even though it should be the other way around, but i miss you. i miss our friendship. i also hate you. manipulative piece of shit.

i wish you cared about me as much as i care about you, i’ll always end up allowing you back in no matter how many times you fuck me over

fuck you, you manipulative gaslighting white boy, i hope a horse eats you because your hair looks like fucking hay

bro i swear why can’t i just forget you?? like literally i bet you moved on right after i said to just go talk to other girls if that’s really what you wanted , but then sometimes i wonder if you miss me just as much as i do, but i doubt it, ur such a fucking loser.

U broke my heart, I loved you, I really did, and you ruined everything, I don't regret meeting you, but I hope you don't cross my path again

Yeah maybe i was in love with u and u broke my heart. I know we were never dating but our friendship meant everything to me. U were always on my mind. U were my everything. i loved you but u didnt think the same. i know u moved on and forgot about our freindship. i remember when you first told me you were scared of puppets that look like dogs and i made fun of u. i remember in socials class when our teacher would get mad at us for talking or laughing. i remember our hour long conversations that kept us up for hours. i remember walking in the dark and riding in the shopper cart. jacob i really thought we were gonna end up together at some point but right now it doesnt seem like u even want to look at me. i miss u. i miss talking to u. im sorry for not being good enough. im sorry that i was toxic and a shitting friend sometimes. im sorry i didnt talk to u during summer. i was a shitty friend. if your happy without me please dont look back. i will always love you. i hope i really hope we can talk again and maybe its gonna take me a while to move on but i promise ill get there and be better for u. as many letters love songs sleepless nights and tears it takes i will move on for u.
goodbye jacob
i love you.
love,
ur forever friend

And no matter how many times you hurt me or bring me to my lowest point, i still only want you. I’ll let you break my heart a million times if it means having you in my life.

Im so confused. I didn’t believe in soulmates before you. But I don’t think soulmates do this to each other. Im sorry. I love you.

it's been 1 year and 5 months since we ended and i still miss you so much. and when you asked to talk again sometimes I wish I would have said yes. i miss then feeling when I hugged you it was so warm and when i kissed you I felt so safe. i cared and loved you so much i tried my best to help you when you were abt to end your life. but it got to me and I became like that too and I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you like that. we became toxic and i really want to fix things. im still hurt by what you did but i want you to know I would take you back in a heartbeat. i wanna accomplish our goals and do all the things we talked about. i wanna go to your basketball games, I learned how to skate so one day if we meet again we can skate together. i miss calling you and hearing your voice. i miss playing video games and killing you on fortnite. let's play minecraft together and build a house. i wanna call you names and have you hate me for the silly names. I wanna laugh till we cry, please come back. i wanna meet your family again create a bond with your little sister. i miss you. like I said I'll love you forever and always. no matter what

thank u for a glimpse at the sun. i hope you’re happier. i regret everything i did and i have love for u always.

i think i love you but i heard you like someone else and youve been drifting from me. im sorry and i wish i knew how you felt about me

i’m sorry i hurt you the way i did. pls know it hurt me just the same. i’ll never be able to forgive myself.

you lead me on more and more and broke me, but i would always go back to you in a heartbeat if i had the chance

i stopped eating when you left. i'm better now, but for awhile you were the only thing getting me through and when you left i wasn't sure if i was gonna make it. i didn't know if i wanted to make it.

You're literally so hot and stuff and even though i no longer talk to you... that was never my decision. I had no say in anything lol.

i think i love you but i'm just not sure yet, i've been broken for so long by everyone and myself and i'm scared of hurting you more than i already have.

yo loser i miss you, like a lot even though ur a dick, i miss falling asleep on the phone with you and hearing you laugh every-time i say i love you back, i miss those wallpapers you sent to make me feel better and those doggie and panda videos you love so much. lmao none of my guy friends liked you, but i didn’t care i loved you and i thought you were cute and that’s all that mattered but maybe they were right about you? idk. i’m sorry i never hopped on the games with you, you made me nervous bc i liked you, it was easier to hop on with my other guy friends bc like i didn’t like them like legit anytime i forced myself to attempt to play with you i felt like throwing up bc i was so scared, i always felt bad for putting it off i felt like a bad gf bc i couldn’t do something so simple i felt stupid. you always talked about being a better boyfriend and like you were the better but, not at the same time? i’ll never forget that night you showed me ur exes and kinda compared them to me, i cried my eyes out and i said it was okay and i’m glad you realized it was wrong but that always stuck with me. I wish you could maybe just give me an apology about just idk kinda using me idk if that’s what that even was? why do you ghost me anytime things get scary? like ik ur bad at communicating but shit. also that thing with charles, i’m sorry ik i came at you kinda aggressive and i’m sorry i was mad and ik i can’t tell you what to do but honestly if you can’t respect what i ask or at least try to reason with me about a situation that’s very sensitive and is about me, you don’t respect me and idk if i want you back after that. people keep asking me if i would take you back, and i think about having you back to myself all the time but the answer is idk. i don’t know if we should fight and work things out if we got the chance or just not even bother. i miss you loser, yk it feels wrong to call somebody else loser now lmao i tried and it’s just not right. i’ll talk to you one day , goodbye loser for now.- c lmao imagine if you actually saw this

you’ll always be that person in the back of my head that will always hold a special place in my heart while time goes on.

you told me my lip gloss tasted nice.
every time i put it on, you cross my mind, and the way it felt with your lips on mine.

I don't understand why you didn't want to be seen with me. A lot of people have done that since, though.

It sounds like you regret what you did but you've gone too far and now I shouldn't talk to you. I miss you sometimes although I know I'm not allowed to.

i slept in your sweater that night because it was the closest thing i ever got without ever having you.

you had so many people protecting your heart, including myself. oh how easy it was for you to butcher and bruise my own, as i cried.

these wounds are still weepy and they've begun to smell of something foul. no matter how i aide and dress them, this putrid ooze will not go.

it is quite the life sentence, being the owner of a heart so broken. you wouldn't have any knowledge of this. it is going to be the ruin of me.

i just know it.

i think had i been the champion of my own light, you would have never chanced even standing before me.

some days i still can’t believe we didn’t end up together. some day i can’t believe i actually thought that we would.

I’ve already long let you go, but today I realized we never got to say goodbye. So: goodbye my love, thank you for the good and the bad. You made me feel like I was the most important person on this planet and I will never forget that. And I know I’m crazy for writing this, but I wanted you to see that I did genuinely love you, and I know I never made it obvious but I silently believed you were the one. I learned from you, and I’ve grown stronger because of you. My only wish is that you have the happiest, most abundant life. I hope you achieve all your goals, and find the strongest love, no matter who that be. If I could have made it through the pain I would have, but baby no one knew how to hurt me like you did. Because I never loved anyone like I loved you.

Take care of yourself. And please don’t hate my name, I tried my best to stay sane.

You will forever be my right person wrong time, but god do I wish it could’ve been the right time for us

i miss you so fucking much. i miss the comforting way you smelled like weed. i miss your laughs, your adorable giggles. i miss your amazing crackhead personality. i miss those long, tight hugs you would use to give me. i wish our relationship wasn't 90% physical contact.. i wish we talked more about our interests and hobbies as we got to know each other more deeply and our personalities. all this time, we barely knew each other. it was just hugs, hugs, music, and more hugs... but yet i still fell for a stranger. did you even mean it when you said you love me? pfft- i'm laughing right now, thinking you would actually take the time to read this. sometimes i think you care, sometimes i think you don't. you probably don't even give two shits right now about me. you don't care, yet my heart still hurts a little every time i see your name pop up when you view my stories. i've healed and moved on for the most part.. but our relationship was so weird.. i cringe thinking back on it. we were both strangers to each other. the only thing i know about you is that you're a gemini, you love alec benjamin, gacha, and demon slayer. now.. what do you know about me-? lmao exactly- that's what i thought pfft. i hope you're doing good pretty boy, things probably haven't been too good for you lately. have a nice night grrr. i'll always be here for you (⇀‸↼‶).

I told you I loved you and instead of loving me back you took it as power. You used my own love against me.

I want the absolute best for you. You changed my life and led me to where I was meant to be. I will always love you, but I will not wait for you. I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for you. Achieve your goals and marry the love of your life. You deserve the best the world has to give.

i cared way more for you then you ever though about me. fuck you for all the pain u put me through. i lost my happiness trying to make u happy

if only you ever knew that for the last 7 years all ive wanted is you :( i hope im finally getting over you even though i never had you

The best thing I have done in 2020 is remove you from my life. I hope you are doing well and know never to speak to me again. You taught me to be strong and I hope I taught you things as well. But you are never welcome in my realm, especially if I finally found myself once I let go of our friendship.

I trusted you with my whole heart. After 3 times I still came back, I fell in love with you but you loved someone else still...

i say i’m over you, because i am. but why do i constantly look for you? why do i hope it’s you when a silver car passes by my house?

Im sorry for all the pain i caused you. I wasn’t right for you and you know it. But i’m really sorry, i didn’t meant to hurt you that much... xxx

i miss you so much, but i can’t love you anymore. we should’ve stayed friends. i’m not even sure if she was aware we were together, but i don’t blame her. i just wish you would’ve apologized to me. i’m always here if you need anything at all stinky.

i miss you so much, but i can’t love you anymore. we should’ve stayed friends. i’m not even sure if she was aware we were together, but i don’t blame her. i just wish you would’ve apologized to me. i’m always here if you need anything at all stinky.

we should’ve stayed friends. i don’t want to love you anymore. i just wish you would’ve apologized to me.

where do i even start, well um, im in love with you. like really. 100%. you talk to me about other girls you think are cute, then you flirt with me in class. you refused to move away from me in music then told me all about L in math. i hate that i love you. i hate it. i hate it. i hate the thought that im just another girl who fell for you . anyways, im never gonna tell you any of this ofc haha. sooo have a good day ig

Because of you, I now believe that love or having a relationship outside of sex is a non existent concept.

I wish i was good enough and brave enough to tell you that you are the literal light of my life, i love you more than words can explain. you never fail to bring a smile to my face and everything about you is beautiful. You are so protective, funny, charming and cute. But you just probably don’t feel the same way about me. i am insecure in my looks so i believe wholeheartedly that i can never be yours, but to whoever will be your future girl, i hope they are the best for you, because you deserve that my angel.

I wish i was good enough and brave enough to tell you that you are the literal light of my life, i love you more than words can explain. you never fail to bring a smile to my face and everything about you is beautiful. You are so protective, funny, charming and cute. But you just probably don’t feel the same way about me. i am insecure in my looks so i believe wholeheartedly that i can never be yours, but to whoever will be your future girl, i hope they are the best for you, because you deserve that my angel.

I wish i was good enough and brave enough to tell you that you are the literal light of my life, i love you more than words can explain. you never fail to bring a smile to my face and everything about you is beautiful. You are so protective, funny, charming and cute. But you just probably don’t feel the same way about me. i am insecure in my looks so i believe wholeheartedly that i can never be yours, but to whoever will be your future girl, i hope they are the best for you, because you deserve that my angel.