Unsent messages to JACOB

I miss the person you used to be. You were so special and one of a kind. I don’t know what happened to you. I hope you find the person you used to be again.

I know you never had feelings for me and I was a fool to think so. But I can’t help it even now I still feeling something for you even though I just want to be friends with you . If we end up going to college together please can we be just friends?

I still love you. & I know thats crazy since we broke up years & years ago but I have this feeling in my heart deep deep down that you’re my soulmate, and I strongly feel this urge you know this too

I miss the old you. Just looking at you back then always warmed me up. sorry we haven’t talk. It’s my fault.

not hearing your voice for 4 months made me realize how much i miss you. do you think about me still?

you were just another boy. then it was one day you caught my attention like no other boy has. maybe it is the way your eyes and face structure and body position softens when i come to you. maybe it’s the way your voice is softer to me or the way you say “hey” when i approach you. you’re tough on the outside, but i can sense the softness within. you remind me of myself. someone who is hard on the outside but soft on the inside. i never grasped your attention because although i knew you existed, i never saw you more then just another boy. it was until that one day i locked eyes with you and everything froze. see, it’s like time came to a halt. two worlds collided and all i heard was silence. it was just you and i. two atoms in a catastrophic world. when my eyes met yours i wasn’t scared. a shiver rushed down my spine but i was not afraid. men scare me. eye contact scares me. but you, you don’t scare me. you’re not scary. you’re not intimidating. approaching you can be nerve-racking because, well, you’re you, but i know you’re someone else and something else and that i can approach you. maybe it’s the way that when i come to you your soft words met me. never do you ever stutter. your words are soft and smooth like butter. the times i sought you and you sought me, i would catch your attention to me. your eyes hover my moves. though, different from other boys, when i would catch you starring at me you wouldn’t take your gaze away. it would stay steady on me and my moves. you wouldn’t quickly turn away or look in the other direction, you would lock your eyes on me. constantly, i felt my world freeze. there is something so chilly yet so warming about your gaze. maybe it’s because i’ve never felt this connection with anyone else. this connection feels so rare. so raw. so real. you were just another boy, until you became the boy i wanted.

it's not that i wasn't interested, i just wasn't ready for someone like you. i'm sorry if it came across that way. i wish i could've gotten to know you more, you seemed really cool. it's probably too late now, huh?

i always had a thing for you but i don't think i was really your type. the girl you're with now you always crushed on, so i'm happy for you. wish i had the balls to tell you how i felt

I apologize for not reaching out. I literally love you and missed you so much but the fear of being shot down if I reached out after so long consumed and overwhelmed me. I truly did miss and love you and I still do but I'm very glad that I messaged you. Also I am very jealous of that one girl. Alex's sister that you game with for hours and talk to on the phone for hours... lol but its whatever.

im happy we got to spend time together today :) im still so in love with you. thank you for apologizing.

You don’t know how much I genuinely care about you. I know we haven’t talked long but there’s just something about you that’s different than everyone else. I haven’t felt like this about anyone else, ever. And it hurts that you keep pushing me away. I promise to you I will not hurt you like the others, I will always be here for you no matter what. Just please don’t leave me like everyone else, I don’t know what I would do with myself if you left me. I just want you and all of you, the good and the bad. I dont care what you look like or what you’ve been through, I like you for you. I just want to be yours and for you to be mine. I literally cannot stop thinking about you, and when we were at the park on that bench. I will wait for you, I don’t care how long because I care about you. And I don’t want anyone else, I like you and only you. Please just don’t leave me, ever.

i stg i like u so much and then i remember how much i actually hate u when u LITERALLY TALK ABOUT HOW HOT OTHER GIRLS ARE TO ME. like bruhhhh chill tf out.

i love you more than anything in this world thank you for saving me after i lost my mom thank you for showing me that i could be the best version of myself.

You really ruined me for awhile. I had to pick up my own pieces while you left me. I had to tape myself back together. I hope you're happy now. I know I wasn't the first you did it to but I sure as hell hope I was the last. I hope you get what you deserve, if not for me, for the others. I forgive you for what you did and I hope I can forget it too.

it’s been more than a year, yet i still think of you from time to time... it’s been a minute... i wonder how you’re doing.

i cant tell if i still have feelings for you. like i dont think i do, but then you say something and i question everything

you made me feel like i deserved to be unloved, i thought i wouldn’t be able to love again because of you and i hate you for that:/

For #22, you honestly broke me and after everything I still think about you. I hate it and sometimes you

You're my soulmate and even though we didn't end up together in this life time I hope it was for the best. I'll see you in the next one. I still love you.

i hate that you're my first love. I would'nt even call it love tbh. we were toxic from the beginning. it was always complicated. i remember the first night you told me you loved me. that was the only time you ever said it. fuck i just miss you, please come back to me

idc if we stay here or move across the country but i know i dont want to live if i cant wake up next to you every day.

the color of the hoodie you gave me the first time you said "i love you." i love you too dumbass. don't leave me.

hey. i know we hardly even know each other but i love u. and i love the songs you suggested but ill never be able to listen to them without thinking of you.

as much as i try to get over you i still have feelings for you. you will always have a special place in my heart. i hope you find someone you treats you well and makes you happy

I keep waiting for your name to pop up on my phone. I know that’s a dream that’ll never come true, unfortunately.

I keep waiting for you to come back. I don’t want to let go- I can’t. You complete me. My person. Come home.

I really wish we could meet again, my mum says that you and your mum saw her at the shops.. i really wish i was there so i could see your face again. i miss you

I hate how much power I let you have over me and how I felt. I loved you so much, even though deep down I know you did you didn't treat me like it. Thank you for showing me my worth.

I love you so much and even tho you say you like me back every day i still think you will leave me behind in a few months and that you will stop caring about me! Please give me a sign that won't happen because I'm getting used to talk to you all day and hangout with you even if it's with your friends cause you don't want to reject them

After I told you my past why did you leave when you said you wouldn’t ? I acc loved you and you didn’t care enough to stay and keep me comfort I hope you have an amazing life with her, I’m sorry if I wasn’t good enough for you

I think you're losing feelings, i love you but i don't think you love me back and you're too afraid of breaking up with me because you don't want to hurt me.

i love you so much and i don’t know how to tell you and i’m really not over you at all please stay and don’t leave me i’m trying so hard to not mess up and it’s never enough but please stay

I know I hurt loved ones. I know we are both pretty hurt people. But I've never met anyone like you again. And I'm sure I won't.

thank you jacob for eveyrthing. but i am really just wondering, why did you choose me. out of all the girls at our school that is way better and way more prettier than me, you chose me. why? I'm really not saying that i am not happy that you "chose" me if you know what I mean. but i am just really wondering why me? out of all the girls you are friends with, you chose to like me. I'm sorry for asking questions like this but i rlly just think about this stuff too much. it really gets to y fucking head. it's like at first i think about it as if it was nothing but then the thought becomes larger and larger each minute i think about it. its like i wont leave the thought alone until i get an answer. it's so confusing and it really hurts to think this way because I'm only bringing myself down at this point.

look at the sky. so many infinities, just like our small infinity.
mi amor eres tan especial para mi

i liked you for 8 years. your the type of guy everyone likes, you have everyone falling for you. including, but i win. you liked me back, but i didn't find out until 7th grade. yes we are both so young but i will always truly love you.

i know you didn’t ever even want to talk to me. the first time we facetimed you were playing COD and i told you i was better. we stayed on for hours. we finally got off and it was late so i went to sleep. then at like 2 in the morning he texts me. asking about a girl. obviously i help him cause that just who i am. it hurts when the girl is your old best friend who is now the skinny, popular, blonde, blue eyed, cheerleader. it hurts knowing that you still love him. even if he hasn’t texted you in hours.

I don't think you knew how much you meant to me, and I don't think I knew either. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, and I never fully understood that saying until you. I feel like I took you for granted. You always treated me so kindly, always making me laugh and making sure I felt comfortable. Your smile was contagious and you were always the brightest part of my day. And I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make the smell of weed and cheap Halloween decorations a comfort item to me. I always wanted to do more with you, we never got the chance to do the things we planned together. And majority of the reasons why we couldn't are on me, I knew that my parents are strict, but I should have at least snuck you over to my house once. Spending time with you would have been worth getting in trouble for, I feel like our energies were very intertwined, but the timing was always off. I appreciate every text you send me. Even if they're just on the holidays, it let's me know you're still thinking of me. Maybe one day we can get the chance to reconnect, I'd like to finally make the timing right. I miss you.

We wanted each other, but you didn't know how to say it. So you picked what was easy, ghosted me, and then tried to come back after all was said and done. I hope you heal your demons one day. I still wish you the best, but from afar

honestly u were my 1st love ,my 1st real relationship, my 1st highschool bf. u loved like no1 has. you always told me how much u loved me and how much i meant to u, i belived you. you were always there for me and i appreciate u for that. our 1st kiss was really special. you always said things like "ur so beautiful" " i love you for who u are" they meant so much to me, but then it got outta hand u became distant , you didnt compliment me anymore it didnt feel the same all the love for you i had i just wanted to cry. i think you really changed the way i see people (never get too attachted) you promised you'd never break my heart, leave me or let me down. and u did. i hate you but i love you. i don't understand why u cheated, i get it ig i wasn't enough for you. thanks to you ive found the loml i really do love him and matches my energy something u couldn't do.

I wasn't your first. Yet, you were my first everything. Which is the reason why I always cover the toxicity.

fuck you man. it was all butterflies and rainbows until i realized that it never was. all of that was in my head and u never noticed or even cared. i thought that maybe u though i was pretty cause i think i’m pretty but stupid beauty standards say otherwise and u just happen to abide by those standards and i deserve better so like i said before. fuck you.
(i mean ur name is jacob so i should’ve expected it)

Hey jacob. I just wanted to tell you that i love you so much. i know i shouldn't be saying this yet because we arent even dating yet but i really do. but I'm just really scared about you not liking me anymore if i still do. I'm just really anxious when it comes to this stuff. I'm sorry. but i love you a lot and thank you for putting up with my shit.

even though we weren't together for very long, I meant every I love you I said, the way you moved on so fast shows me you didn't.

some days i feel like i’m in love with you and other days i just don’t know,, i can’t tell what’s real with you

a day hasnt gone by where i dont think of you. im sorry i was too afraid to ever tell you i loved you. i feel like youre already gone and i missed my chance. the green hearts will forever stay by your name.

i told you everything, i trusted you when you said you werent going to hurt me like everyone else. i loved your family. and then one day you just left me for hotter girls. what did they have that i didnt?your family loved me and i really thought we were doing good:(
I really hope that those girls helped you and made you feel good while you hoed around.

i loved you for as long as i can remember until i found out what a worthless piece of trash you are. i hate you, never contact me again.

I often wish we could meet up at the lighthouse and just talk. But I’m scared that when I look at you and talk to you, I’ll melt into you again.

why did you use me? what was this all for if you were just gonna say it wouldn’t work at the end? 3 months. and yet i still miss you.