Unsent messages to CONNOR

There's always another girl.
Why wasn't I enough for you even though I gave you everything?
What did i do wrong?
Why can't you give me a reason?
I just want a reason.
Why'd you lie? Especially when you knew what it would do to me.
It makes me sick every day.
YOU CHEATED BUT I'M THE ONE BEGGING YOU TO STAY.
WHY.
WHERE'S MY REASON.
JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING REASON.
I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE.
But I can't stand the thought of you loving someone else the way you used to love me.
I know it's selfish but I'm tired of getting hurt.
It always ends the same for me.
Hurt.
Over and over and over and over again.
How do I make it stop?
I can't take this.
Why can't I just stay happy.
Why can't I just be loved.
I say I'm sorry even though I did nothing wrong.
But still, I'm sorry
..
Goodbye...

Hey. I just wanted to let you know I'm okay. I miss you so much. I am truly sorry for everything that happened between us. I'm sorry we drifted. I'm sorry we are not friends anymore. I am sorry we don't text or facetime anymore. I am so so so sorry. I love you. I'm like truly in live with you boy. It is so hard not seeing or talking to you every day anymore. It's hard. Like really hard. I cry so much because I just miss seeing your face and I miss your voice. I miss how you would smile when I walked into class. I miss how I would sit on the lab tables and you would go in between my legs and look into my eyes. I miss goofing off with you in class and Friday nights. I'm like in love with you and I just can't let you go. But you can't see how bad it hurts me. It kills me. I just want to see you one last time and tell you how I truly feel about you. I can't take this anymore. I'm giving up without you being here to tell me everything is okay. I miss being held in your arms. The long hugs. The talks we have had. I have known you for years. We were best friends but I fucked it up. I fucked us up. It's my fault. I unblocked you. But I just can't add you back. It is so hard to and I don't know why. It is so hard to let you go because I don't wanna let you go. I get angry when you get a gf. When I shouldn't. i am obsessed with you and everything about you. I just miss you and I want everything to go back to the way it was before anything happened.

thank you for saving my life. even though you had no idea you were the best thing thats ever happened to me. i will always love you.

You will forever be my best friend, I would give everything I have to kiss you again. When we meet again I'm never letting you go.

fuck you. why do i care so much about you for you to not give me the time of day? this is exhausting.

I haven't known that long. But I've already fallen in love with you, even though I don't want to admit it since you have a girl. I've never fallen in love with anyone before but this feels like love to me. I love how close we are and how you make me feel. You've become a very important person to me in such a short time and I hope we never become strangers. Whenever I get a hug from you I feel like the world stops and all my problems go away. I feel safe in your arms. I know you'll never feel the same way about me. I mean look at me. I'm not the best looking and I'm not skinny. I'm overweight and lets face it you'd never fall for me. I'll never truly be happy until I know that you're happy. I'm scared that someday I'll lose you like I've lost so many before I've met you. I'll never forget buying you that expensive hoodie but I don't regret it because I know how much you love hoodies. I hate when you talk bad about yourself, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I love your personality. You know how to make me laugh during work. God you're so cute. I wish I could call you mine but sadly I'll never be able to. I love you with my whole heart. C.M

you made me feel like the only girl in the world and then shattered my heart but i still care about you

I really was inlove with u but then u got a gf then u broke up and then I fell harder for u but then i realised that u could never love me back so I have started talking to someone else

you’ll always mean the world to me. we have always found our way back to each other but i don’t think we will this time.

I truly believe you were my person, but I guess I just wasn’t yours. It’s so hard letting go of someone you thought would be in your life forever and who you loved more than anything. Be safe, I will love you forever, but it’s time for me to let go.

why’d you leave and never come back when you promised you would and this wasn’t forever.
i love u connor.

i dont think you understand that i want you back. i know its been a long time but i cant stand seeing u w/o running up and kissing u:/

hey, i wonder how flower vase, gus and ellie are. i miss you. you promised me you were committed. but ig you found someone better

Sometimes I like to think it was just the end of the chapter and not the story but deep down I know that it was our end. I miss you bub

i picked black because ur wanna-be eboy ass wore it 24/7. but it was ur birthday a few days ago and i was too scared to text u so i guess ill just do this. even though u will never see this, happy late birthday c

I have been in love with you for years. Time goes by and I realized how much I messed up. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel bad. I’m sorry, I get jealous whenever you talk about someone new..I brush it off and I miss you..

We both know we had something. Why didn't we just go for it? You know how I felt. I thought I knew how you felt, too.

i never want to lose you. please never stop talking me again. you will always be the one that got away

hi. i know it’s still weird between us but tonight for some reason you are on my mind. and right now i miss you. i stumbled across our conversations and saw how much we really did love one another. i realized that i wasn’t the best to you. and tonight that makes me really sad. i hope all is well. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. maybe one day we might fall back in love but for now you’ll always be in my heart.

I like staying up with you on facetime and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don't know if you feel the same..

I haven't gotten to meet you in person yet but you make me happier than anyone has in years. I can't help but smile any time your name lights up my phone. Thank you for making me happy.

man you fucked me up you'd mesage me like. you really loved me and be the same when we were alone but switch up around other people and you'd say you loved me and you'd SAY all these nice things but never show any affection I got 1 HUG in 6 months never even held my hand or cuddled me regularly idk man you fucked me up I got deeply screwed up after you Ive felt shitter ever since I started smoking w33d and drinking a whole lot more
thanks man its great

i fucking hate you. you made me so scared to ever fall in love and yet you still blame it on me. after everything you put me through, she was still better.

I’ll never get over you, and I hope that one day I’ll be able to stop looking at my phone every 5minuted hoping for your text.

Hey. I’m really sorry I asked you out last year. We were two sleeves of the same pants but I should’ve known I was just a friend. You’re the guy I’ll wonder about with a bittersweet taste in my mouth till I’m 80

Hey. I'm really sorry I asked you out last year. We were two sleeves of the pants but I should've known I was just a friend. You're the guy I'll wonder about with a bittersweet taste in my mouth till I'm 80.

i dont know how to face my feelings for u. i dont wanna ruin anything we have. but damn it, i really like you.

No matter what front I put on, I miss you so much. I’m not sure if I loved you, or the idea of you. The more I think about it, the more I realize you were kind of a shitty boyfriend. I just never got to yell at you and scream in your face like I wanted to, and I think that’s why I’m so pissed

i don’t think a day has gone by since you came into my life where i didn’t think about you. it’s the same since you left it too.

Thank you because of you I realised my self worth. Because of you, I figured out who I really am. Because of you, I’m not afraid anymore. Because of you, I met the love of my life who knows how to treat me right. And because of him, I believe in love again.

i would love a real explanation without lies, but it’s been years and there’s no reason to ask anymore