i hate how you said you would respond back after we stopped talking for months, and then never respond. i guess this the unexpected ending that was gonna hurt. i hope college treats you well and everything we did from driving back from winter percussion practice, walking to my house, and just facetiming to keep one another company... i hope all of that was as fun as I remembered them to be. thank you for all the memories, i hold them deeply in my heart. bye dummy

you and your friends broke me into a million pieces, yall thought was funny. my anxiety went up much higher thanks to you.

I love you but I can't let you waste anymore of my time. I deserve better. But I wanted you to be better.

You don’t know the pain you caused me, but I shared a little of it with you. I hope you finally understand now.

I wish you would just fucking tell us what you're feeling and how you're doing so I don't have to constantly worry about you. why the fuck are you so anxious and uptight all the time?

i remember looking out your car window and thinking i was the happiest i could ever be. but then you chose her.

i hate that you text or call when you’re high or drunk, and you have a girlfriend. i want to know the reason.

I know you love her, but I loved you too. I watched your games, I sang 1D songs with your sister, your mom and I went Christmas shopping, and our brother and I built lego contraptions together. And us? We ran from cops, sang Michael Jackson songs at the top of our lungs, and snuck out to a different city every Friday just to feel alive. We did. I did. And you left. You still left.

I'm not sure if I will ever stop loving you, but I hope that at some point I will stop letting you hurt me.

you said that when you die you want to be surrounded by all the atoms that love you. I want to be more than that.

I wish you would've just been transparent with me. Why'd you hurt me twice like that. I thought you would've changed over 3 years of not talking. I can't believe I let myself fall for you and get ghosted twice.

I am worried about you. I want you back badly, I want to help with your healing. I still love you, I miss u sm bucko

For a moment I really thought we could make it. I really did. No matter how many times people warned me about you and told me that I would get hurt, I didn't listen. I didn't want to. All I wanted was you.

you never listened to me. I was always a second option. even when I was in the middle of breaking up with you, you couldn't find time for me. you never cared.

i would do anything to talk to you just once again. i miss you. i want to give you a hug bc you made me grow. i hope you do well in life. i wonder if you still think about me . till we see each other again. right place wrong time. - the 5th grade romance

i wish you knew how much you mean to me but to u I am just a weird girl you've met a few times but why can't I be more than that and how can you not see how I feel about you. i think about you all the time so much I can't even sleep but I feel comfort in your presence whether its in my head or not. i wish I had the balls to say I love you because I do but I am scared i will just let it slip oneday even though it feels natural to me it also feels too soon, but that is the effect you have on me and i wish you didn't have this much control over me but you do. you are either making me feel like the happiest girl in the world or make me cry myself to sleep knowing we will never be anything

Something. That's what I call it. I am not sure how to define it. It does not strictly fit in the category of friendship nor relationship. I put so much time, so much effort and energy into this "something" that is in the end, continuously hurting me over and over again. It is like I vicious cycle that I can not control, let alone stop. I know this is bad for me but I can't help myself. Your words hurt, joking or not. Everything you do has an affect on me. You could call me sensitive or you could call me in love. Regardless, I know one thing. I care about and I want you in my life, whether it be for the better or for the worse.

I know we’re only friends, but it always feels like there’s something more. I will always be there for you and love you.

I believe that you were The One. I just wish I was the one for you.
I wish I wasn't in love with you, but I am.

I found my Lucifer. He hates me. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be seen with me. I don't know. You tell me

I miss you all the time. I wish I knew if you were safe and cared for now. I wish things never happened the way they did. You did and always will mean so much to me.

i think i love you. i thought i was incapable. im sorry for acting like I don't care sometimes. i really do.

I still wonder what life would be like if everything worked out. I still look for your car while I drive. It's been four years.

you were the first person i ever truly loved. i thought i would always have you, that you were my forever person but that night changed everything. i still miss you and i always will.

You know what, I miss you. I will probably never see you again but without covid-19, I would be dating you. I just know it.

it scares me that i might never love anyone as much as i love you. when i think about anyone else they just can't compare to you. to the happiness you gave me, to the love i felt when we were first talking. i didn't wanna lose you. you mean the whole world to me and i just want what we had to come back somehow. i keep dwelling on it as if the more i get sad over it the more chance there is of everything going back but it won't. ill never see mac and cheese the same, ill never listen to that play list without thinking about you, ill never see anything the same because you were in every part of my life. i miss you.

you didn’t just tell lies. your smile did too. i believed you when you said “i love you”, and watched you fall out.

You made me happier since the day we met. As we continue on, I see how alike we are. I love how you don’t understand my anxiety but you’re still doing your best to help me. I love how everything I do bc of it, you try to make me rationalize and realize the whole world doesn’t hate me or want to laugh at me. Thank you so much and I miss you :) can’t wait to see you irl again

Why couldn’t you love me like I loved you? What did I not have? I was in so deep and you didn’t care.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, I miss you so much it hurts. You were the one for me and I’ve been struggling to pick myself up now that you’re gone. I love you 3000

its always gonna be her isn't it? it always has been her and always will be. i hold on to u through the stories she tells but its hard hearing them when im not a part of the memories. i miss u and ur goofiness

I don't know what happened. I think after replaying the words you said to me over and over in my head it finally clicked. You didn't love me, and every time you said you did you were lying. i used to joke around with you about how you were a horrible liar, but jeez you really had me fooled. I finally have peace of mind, and it feels really fucking good.

I thought we had something. You had me so convinced. You hurt me even though you knew I was hurt before and scared of it happening again. So why am I the one apologizing?? Yeah you apologized but I had the right to be petty after what you pulled so check yourself. You have no idea the pain I go through every time I see you knowing I can’t run into your arms or kiss you. I love you just please take me back I can’t deal with it anymore

You taught me how to love when I thought it wasn’t real anymore I will always have a place in my heart for you

it was complicated but some how to simplest thing i had ever known. regardless of all the bullshit i just craved your presence and love.

you were my yellow. that wasn't what i wanted to wake up to. if only you could hear the way i talk ab you.

the very first day i met you i knew you were different. even from the start you instantly made me feel safe and i knew we were gonna be close. i just really wish that lasted longer because the one year was nowhere near enough time. i miss you so much. i miss our late night texts, our music, all the shows we started watching together, everything. you were the only person who could make me feel okay again and now your gone. im learning how to be fine with out you and i know its not gonna be easy. you were a huge part of my life and my person at one point but im getting there. some days are harder than others ill admit, sometimes i just wanna call you or text you and tell you how much i miss you but i can't. everytime i think of you i feel sick, like that sick you feel when you know something bad has happened. you showed me my true self and, before you broke me, you made me so so happy.i knew it was gonna end. i just didn't want it to end like that but i need to let go. i love you forever and ever zach.

You came into my life when I wanted only to do with myself, but you’ve been the one thing that I look forward to every single day. I just hope you feel the same...

If you see this, please reach out to me through any means that you can. It's okay if you forgot my phone number. I have never been the same without you in my life.

I loved you so much it hurt, you let me feel something when I felt nothing. Do you even realise what you meant and still mean?

Everything reminds me of you. The songs, the streets, the places we used to go, even words you used to use a little too often remind me of you. I felt important at times and a plastic bag at others, but that never made me fall out of love. And never will, the desire I have to be with you is so strong and I just wish I could tell you.

looking back I really wish that I would've told you how I felt because I truly think things might've turned out different for us if I did

i hate u. ur a fat ugly motherfucker. i’m embarrassed i had feelings for u. i hope the girl u broke up with me for was worth it xx

i love you so much and i can't seem to leave. you constantly hurt me but you're the boy who saved me. at this point though i don't know if you saved me just to ruin me again....

Man... I miss you so much. You were my person and I still believe that to this day. No matter how many times you hurt me or betrayed me you were the love of my life. I have so much love for you still to this day and I see you struggling with life and it breaks my heart because I know you don’t want me to be there for you.

I love you so much and I miss you beyond words.

without you ,i wouldn't be breathing right now.
you saved my life without knowledge of doing so.

thank you.

i know what happened wasn't your fault; i think part of why i was as upset as i was is because of how my self esteem took a hit. its hard for me to open myself up to love so everything that happened seemed to cement in my head that im not someone who gets to have that. i dont hate you or anything like that, im not mad or angry or upset anymore, but i don't think i can handle you being in my life just because itll be a constant reminder of the mindset i have that im not deserving of love. i want to get back to college, but in my head i know that im just hoping that going back to school will reset everything that happened over break and that you'd be back in my life, so i need to remind myself that it won't happen like that. when i think about everything between us and the memories i have of the fall they seem like dreams; in the moment i had always had this feeling of "i cant believe that this is real", and now it feels like it never happened and was all in my head. i know that right now we're in kind of a similar social circle so i cant exactly avoid you, but i know that i cant be your friend for a while, at least until i know that im not in love with you anymore, or until i know i wont fall back in love with you. i have no idea if you even know what this site is, or if you're reading this but im not sure if id want you to see it or not. even if i did want you to see it i know at least that i dont have the courage to send it to you. this message is so long but i dont know where else to put my thoughts: i dont like writing about you in my journal anymore. i threw out the drawings i did of you, some were bad and some were decent but i cant have them anymore. i never could get your image quite right anyways. i hope that you and your family are doing okay. I wonder if you still think about me. seeing as youre the one who ended things I wouldn't blame you if you've moved on completely. I wish i could do the same. i just hope that maybe i left the tiniest impact in your life. i hope that the next time you fall in love that it lasts. i hope that i at least cross your mind once in a while. youre constantly on mine, as much as i try otherwise.

i wonder if you think about me sometimes, i never meant to make you so mad. i wish we could be friends

I thought we were close friends but it feels like your just trying to hurt me because every time you call its bad news

The first day I spoke to you, I thought I was going to marry you. Four years later I'm okay again after having my heart shattered by you.