Unsent messages to P

Prometo encontrarte en el futuro y en otra vida, porque eres mi alma gemela, y se que eres mi destino

i just want to stop thinking about you all the fucking time. i keep replaying what i heard that night like a broken record and it hurts so much. i don’t understand how you acted as if everything was normal after you treated me like that its beyond confusing. i dont know if i hate you or not but im sorry for making you uncomfortable but please make up your fucking mind because its destroying me inside i dont even know how im supposed to act around you. warm? cold? im tired i really am i want this bullshit to be over and this school year to be over so i can forget about you. we vibe really well but if you don’t agree with my existence please stay far away from me because we will never work out.

I look for you in every car, bus, and train that passes me in hopes that one day we’ll cross paths again.

I have loved you forever. I could never tell you. I know I would never be enough for you but I will spend forever trying to be. Sometimes I think you look at me as if you want to kiss me, I wish you would.

there are songs ive blocked because every one of them painfully reminds me of you, of us, and what could have been us.

hey stupid i miss u. im sorry throughout the times we hung out ive been quiet. im stupid shy and nervous around u. please reach out.

I wish you wouldn`t stop when we meet accidentally. Even though we were in love it`s none of your business what I do now and who`s my new boyfrriend or who isn`t. Just move on man. I don`t miss you and I don`t owe you so don`t act like you were the best thing that could happen to me `cause honestly you were not even close. I was stupid to think that. Even tho I`m sorry for what happened I don`t want anything to do with you anymore. So don`t act weird and just walk to the other side if we ever share the street and you`re not able to ignore me. Take care man.

Me encantaría que me quisieras, que no pares de hacerme reir y si no sientes lo mismo al menos deja de enamorarme porfavor

the amount of pain you caused me. i will never be the same. I will never trust anyone again. I miss who you used to be. I cant belive i didnt even get a appoligy. I was so good to you in out years of frienship. You cried to me, laughed with me and now at me. We are not mutual but i wish things were different i wish you knew how much i still think about that day. Crying in the school bathroom and not being able to participate in class bc i was in such a state. I gave you the upper hand and didnt belive what everyone was saying but then i saw proof and it broke me. thank you for perminently hurting me and turning all my friends agaisst me even though you knew the truth. Thank you paige x

i wish i hadn't been afraid to love someone just because i felt it was wrong to love someone of the same sex. sorry for leaving you. i still remember the first time i met you, i wish i could go back to that day. nobody gave me the happiness that you gave me.

i know that you weren't actually serious. neither i am but it still hurts. maybe it's just a trauma from past. i was a different person. i tried to change. and i did. i didn't want you to see it. but i couldn't hide it. i want to delete it. because it is not a joke anymore when you become personal. i don't know what i like about you and you are truly toxic. i hate you but i can't at the same time, too. i just hate myself. but i hope you don't.

Loving it's not just saying it, I wish you cared for me as much as you did for any other girl friend.

I've cried a lot for you while u was texting with someone better. Never come back, I wish u the best but not again :)

im really fucking happy that i finally see you with a sincere smile in your face. you found her, you found your soulmate. i know that a person only has one soulmate and in happy thats you found her, but i lost mine. i knew you were my soulmate a long time ago, but i also knew that i wasn't yours. all that matters for me is that your happy, and i just wanted to let you know that you will always have me (even if that means that i am your second option)

The concert, the perfect moment to say it, but we weren't braves.
But now you're brave for other person, and I'm happy for you

I hope you are happy with her, but I was thinking lately about this... do you write poems for her like you used to for me...? And how is she like? Does she care about you? Does she love and care about you more? I hope you just are happy... I don't want any arguments or jealousy between us.

why did you go back to her? you said you didn’t want her anymore, only me. you know I hate liars but I could never hate you.

Im scared of you, i dont underst you, you´re sometimes creepy, im scared of your way of loving, i know that you dont hurt anyone, you try your best to be loved, but please try to love yourselve, you dont have to pleasure averyone, i know that love is the most import thing in your life, but please, stop, you are just breaking your heart

maybe i wasn’t jealous of your popularity with everyone, but everyone’s popularity with you. does that make sense?

i am going to say 'i liked you' because i am shy to say how i actually feel. you forget to easily. i know you like to keep your taughts to yourself but you hide them so well. even i act so bold, i am terrified of the idea of speaking to you. i still don't know if you were joking or not. and i am truly sorry about my trust issues. but i am trying. my purpose wasn't broking your heart. i am sorry.

hey b. i miss u. u saved me from myself. no ones been able to do that before. u made me so happy, so loved. but ur not here anymore. u are but ur not. not like before. i love you. which makes this 10x harder for me. i see the person i love almost every day knowing i can’t have them. its awful. but i will continue to sacrifice myself for u bc i know things no one else knows. ik how to calm u down, i know how u think. i know you better than anyone. and i’m afraid if i leave u behind ull lose urself. maybe now is not our time but i love u b, i always have. i’m waiting for you for whenever you’re ready, and maybe that’s never, but just incase

Even though we were never together, I would say that you were my first love. You were the first person to make me feel vulnerable. You were the first person to make me feel all warm and fuzzy. You were the first person that made me want to fight off everything to protect you from getting even more hurt. The world has been cruel to you, yet it didnt turn you into an angry and bitter person. I was ready to do anything for you. But I see that she makes you happy, probably more than I ever could have. And I thank her for that. Because I can see that your smile reaches your eyes, you're more confident and you are doing so good. I think about you all the time. If you are doing okay. If you sleep better now. If the bad memories no longer haunt you. And I dont think I will ever stop thinking about you. And I know you stopped thinking about me a long time ago. And that's okay. I can see that you are doing so much better, and that's all I could ever ask for from God (even though you dont believe in him). Because you deserve all the happiness and love in the world. As much as you said that you think that you dont, you do. You always will.

i’m sorry i drove you away. i wasn’t mature enough to understand kindness vs. attraction. i shouldn’t have pushed my emotional baggage onto you.

so like yeah I know u don't want to have anything with me and that we're just friends but I love you, I really do and I won't ever forget you.

I wish we stayed as friends. I miss you a lot. There was miscommunication and I didn’t know how to work around it, but I still love you despite how I felt before

whenever i listen to strawberry blond i think of you. when i told you that song reminded me of you its like i knew you were falling out of love with me.

Thankyou" is the word that I will never tire of telling you :) Ase ever since you came I have been very grateful and thankful in my life :) I have never felt love this way. Even if it was just a very small thing that was done when he loved you, you could feel the love that was with him. You know the "butterflies in my stomach" I've been feeling that ever since you showed your love for me and later knew what being inlove really feels like. I can’t imagine how jealous I will be when the woman you love is different now because she is so lucky promise, the efforts that you show, the time you ”will give to her and of course the overflowing love that you will give. Every woman has dreamed of being loved endlessly and I’m lucky enough to make that dream come true. Thankyou for loving me and taking good care of me love. I’ll never get tired of loving and supporting you. Iloveyou, always.

You will never understand how much i loved you. I hope you're doing well. It still hurts everyday when i think of all our memories. I can't explain how happy you have made me feel. You have made me look at the world different. But now everything is just gone. I feel nothing anymore. But still thanks, it was nice to feel loved ones. I hope eventhough you act like we never happend you still think back to our memories and laugh, just like I do. I still wait everyday for your message that i won't get. It was just the right person, but wrong time. I hope we'll meet again and fall in love again and everything will be great again and that we can make awesome memories togheter. i believe in us.

yea, yea I get it. I messed up. But you should've let me explain myself. Sorry, but tbh it's not my fault...

its hard because you liked her my best friend and i was
always the second no matter what, the second
friend, the second
love, the last person to know anything, maybe i
feel this
way because i know that i was never enough for you and the fact that its true hurts me. when she started dating you i realized i liked you a lot
i was trying to send signs get closer but no she had to
ruin it all she stopped us she never asked me if its was okay she just took you for the fact that she wanted to date someone. she ended up hurting you.

I don’t wanna have to feel like my feelings aren’t valid anymore just because I’m a man. I wanna leave but I don’t have the strength.

Fuck you for fucking with my feelings. I've been in love with you since the day i met you, but you never felt the same and now you're gone.

u were the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing creeping through my head at night. i never understood y i loved u sm and i don't think i ever will

I have finally let you go. I knew this because when I saw you with your new girlfriend, I was happy for you

Hey.. it's been 4 years. I miss you so much but what's done is done. I'm too stubborn to say I'm sorry but I am. You were supposed to be my MOH and now I know nothing about you anymore... I miss you everyday

i still look over our messages. i looked over the video and pics that you took on my phone. we were so happy.

So it's not that I'm in love with you its more like I wish I was as important as you are to me. Wish you seemed to care to text me back or send me pictures of you. But it's not like that. I mean I wish it was. I know you go through stuff at home and separate yourself from the people who truly love and care about you but it affects others, like me. Ive spent hours and hours thinking if you really care. You honestly confuse me so much, sometimes you tell me all this stuff and sometimes you act as if you don't know me. Yeah, maybe I should listen to my friends and drop you because you give me so many mixed signals but I'm dumb enough to sit here and wait for you to text me and ignore all these guys for you. I just wish I didn't care about you this much because I feel like I'm drowning myself in worrying about you. 'Did he eat" "Did he wake up for work" "Is he doing okay" " How is it going at home" There's not one day I don't think about you. It hurts me feeling like I'm nothing to you, well at least it feels like. I should honestly listen to friends but I can't. There's something in me that tells me to wait for you, I sometimes feel like giving up but I just can't. I wish I had the courage to really tell you how I feel but I just hate showing my vulnerable side to people. I wish i could call you right and tell you everything that goes through my head about us. But I've always gone through the place where people come at me for being sincere with them. I'm scared. I'm so afraid of getting hurt but I feel that you wouldn't do such a thing but I'm just afraid. You call me "beautiful" and I love it because no one has and you make me feel a certain way like maybe there are some good guys out there. But then there those days like right now where you just won't text me. I know there's stuff going on at home but I begin to overthink, is he texting other girls, is he on ft with other girls, am I just one of those girls that he's playing with. I don't want to think such a thing but there's always that behind my head, I truly want to trust him but I'm scared. I'm scared because of all the mixed signals he gives me. I know he scared to show his vulnerable side as well but all my intentions are always for the good. I really really want to meet him as well. The thing he is that even if we don't end up having a thing, it doesn't even matter, I just want to have a super good relationship with him. Like right now, he's home and still hasn't texted me back and that's what sucks and I hate it. Like I just want things to be easy and clear. One thing about me is I hate looking stupid. Like I sometimes want to double text him but he didn't text me back for a reason yk. I don't want to feel as if I am bothering him. I truly don't know what to do.I'm confused and it frustrates me a lot. Like I just want to care for him and love him because I know he has gone through a lot. But he just sometimes doesn't let people help me at all. I don't know how to help him if he doesn't let others help. Like I want him to feel cared for and I want to be that person for him because he hasn't had that in a while. I hate the thought of never ever speaking to him ever again. I care about him a lot and I don't think he deserves all the pain he has on him right now. He so young still and has his whole future ahead of him to look at.

I no longer cry because of you, i no longer shudder at the thought of you hurt because of me. i grew without you and i will continue to grow without you and i will take pride in it and i will be proud of me.

I begged to see you just for a moment, I had a feeling you weren’t gonna talk to me after I said I still loved you. I was right.

I hate the distance between us, plz don’t find someone better before we meet I’m waiting for that day. I’m so scared bc you can control how I feel, anyways I’ll always love you, no matters where

If I could go back in time I would never have left that party. I miss you so much. At least you are happy with her.

it was unfair of me to expect you to love me in the unconditional way i loved you, but you couldve tried, or stopped letting me love you.

Cause even if you broke my heart into thousand pieces, I still pray every day for you to come back and to choose me.

If what you say is true, this has all been a game for you. I hope you know that fucking hurts. Why do you fool around with me and then a day later switch up? Are you scared of your emotions or are you just an asshole? Either way, you have made it clear to me that you are a pussy ass bitch. I am glad that you have decided to show me your true colors. You know I chose to surround myself with people who support and lift me up. I do not surround myself with people who act selfishly and out of fear. If that is how you are going to be, I sure as hell do not want anything to do with you. I am angry. I am angry that I let myself be vulnerable with you. What you said to me today made me feel like a “mission: success.” Your words deeply hurt me Paxton. Why didn't you think about how you might be hurting me and why didn't you think about how you truly felt before hooking up with me? I hope you feel disappointed in this series of events and in yourself.

Muchas veces la cagaste y me hiciste sentir mal, pero igual siempre me quede para ver si podias cambiar. No se si fue lo correcto pero aun te sigo amando

I'm not taking you back this time. I'm sure I can do better than someone who barely remembers my name.

We were so young back then and I know you did love me in your own fcked up ways but I could never trust you the same

i wish you knew how much i care about you and how much it hurts to know you don’t feel the same. i’m always the last choice for you.

you’re such an asshole but i’m still so in love with you. you could burn my house down and i’d get excited at the possibility of seeing your face again.

I would never do something that my gf says no to. I would never want to hurt her. I would never want her to hurt me.