Unsent messages to NOAH

i know it’s impossible for us to really be forever, but my heart certainly belongs to you for the rest of time.

You will always be the one for me even if I'm not the one for you anymore. Thank you for everything. I lava you.

i chose blue because this is what you remind me of. calm, collected, and a little cold. when we were together i kept telling you that i wish i met you later in life and that is still true until this day. i don’t regret what we had but i was too immature to hold on to it. i let my own happiness slip away due to my ignorance and stupidity. i doubt you will ever see this because you probably hate me, but just in case you do, i wanna let you know that when i said i will love you forever, i meant it.

Don't act like I like you still. It makes it awkward. fun fact: i like the kid ive been friends with forever.

Even though you broke my heart in the process, you showed me that I was capable of love and some of the things I want in a relationship. Thank you for that

You were the first guy I fell in love with and I've been trying to make it without you but I just want you back

I loved you so fucking much. I would’ve died for you. You destroyed me. You made me HATE myself. Yet, I think I would still die for you.

If you love me and want me back like you say you do, then why aren't you doing anything to change and make things right again..?

I sent you an anonymous letter on here to get closure then you randomly started texting me again and I'm going to fail for your shit again :(

I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me up kidnapped me and then locked me in a room with you and said we are gonna break each others hearts in the most beautiful way but if you want to leave here’s a key. Stupid me for thinking I’d never want the key, you were smart and used it.

i remember we used to talk so much and u made me smile so much. i was so shy that was the reason. but now u dont talk to me anymore. i want you, just u and me.... i dont know how to tell u but i know i have lost u

you are so beautiful, i wish i talked to you more and maybe we could have been something, my //orange

angel, nothing on this earth heals and brings me the happiness in which you do. my love nothing can separate, i adore you. we will come together again, give it time

I loved you and I gave you my all, I don’t miss you, I hope you miss me. I hope you think of me. I hope you can’t unsee me in your dreams. Because you stopped me from moving on. And I will never ever forgive you for it.

Noah, I hope you stay, and you don't leave, but then again I have said that before I have became more numb so if you should leave leave. I know the right one will stay.

you were my bestfriend and the first guy that I've ever loved, thank you, without you I'd be dead, i don't love you anymore, i found an another one, even if he left me too.

u better treat her right if u eventually make up ur fucking mind u wheelie boy she loves u can't u fucking tell. she deserves better tbh. if u really love that than be the better she deserves.

When we first met i got this crazy feeling. and even though you fucked me over i’m still so helplessly in love with you and i wish I wasn’t cos it kills me seeing you with her.

You made me believe you cared about me. And you promised you wouldn’t leave but you destroyed our friendship to the point where I had to leave for my own good. Then you claimed it was because you didn’t like me like the way I liked you. Now you’re trying to come back in my life but I’m not going to let you.

I love you and I always will. You may not feel the same way but deep down I believe there is something between us. I wish you could see that

I hope you know that I'll always love you. My heart feels empty without you. I hate how things had to end. I miss you so much every day and night. You became my motivation. Life without you feels so scary and lonely. I hope we get back together. I miss you so much. If you ever read this i hope you know how much i love you :(

I miss you so much. You would think after a month of not speaking to each other that I would be used to your absence, but I’m not. I don’t know if I ever will be.

Fuck man. You’ve broken me but i can’t hate you. I still love you and i will for awhile. I hope you’re okay. C x

Even though we never got extremely close, you’ve always meant a lot to me. Every time I see you I want to be a better person. I felt like you always saw the good in me and everyone..except yourself. You’re an amazing guy and I hope you can see that one day. You deserve to accomplish your dreams and end up happy. I’m a lot more like you than you might think but I’ve always just tried to hide my insecurities and feelings.
Miss you xo

I’m sorry man but it just wasn’t gonna work out, I would’ve told you if I had the chance honestly, I miss you.

we’re to start noah u made me the person i am today. thank u so much for that. i don’t know what my life would be today if i never got hp. i wish we didn’t give up as fast as we did though. if i could re do it i would any day. we have so much unfinished. no one, has ever made me feel the same way you make me feel. i wish you knew the impact you have on people. you saved my life. i will always be there for you. i hope you know that. even though it breaks me u never really felt the same. you made me feel something no one else has made me feel. with all those memories i will forever regret not telling you how much i cared when i had chance after chance. in your wrong i cared so much for you i just overlooked it and i have never done that for anyone. you made me insecure about something i have never been insecure about. you made me feel worthless some nights. you made me feel like i had nothing to live for some nights. i sometimes don't even know why i stayed in this complicated friendship. yes you may have been joking on some things you said but it hurt. a lot. you used a lot against me. and sometimes you were the meanest person ever. you took for granted what you didn’t even know what i was doing. to this day if you wanted me back. i would say yes. you are my first love. i can never see me feeling the same towards someone else. but what am i supposed to do when we don’t talk like we used to. yes we broke the silence, yes your back. but it’s not the same. and it’s so hard to explain. if i knew it was gonna end the way it did. we didn’t even fight, just drifted. abs that hurts the most. but if i knew i would have never wasted that year. it may have seemed i moved on, but i don’t think i ever will. i think about you all the time. it hurts i will never have you because you will never feel the same way. i was so involved i was okay just being your friend. but everyday i ask why wasn’t i good enough. what didn't i have. why did u just leave one day. when i first met you i didn’t think it would go this far. but here we are. from the long face-times , the 3am talks , the memories , the online school , & so so so much more. i could talk for hours about all our memories. you are back in my life again but it’s just not the same. some nights i miss you more than anything. some nights i wish i never talked to you. you may never read this, you may. thank you for saving me when i didn’t know even know i needed it. thank you for teaching me what it takes to be a good friend. thank you for everything. i’m better at subway suffers btw.

i really wish we could have worked out. You made me want to be a better person. I hope one day we will find each other again.

I miss you a lot. I loved you and still do. You broke me in a way that I can’t explain. I just want you to come back so I don’t have to deal with this pain anymore

this is what, my third time writing this to you? god, every time i think im over you, you somehow manage to squeeze yourself into my daily life. im happy with where we are though. i’ll put my feelings aside for our friendship.

we’re to start noah u made me the person i am today. thank u so much for that. i don’t know what my life would be today if i never got hp. i wish we didn’t give up as fast as we did though. if i could re do it i would any day. we have so much unfinished. no one, has ever made me feel the same way you make me feel. i wish you knew the impact you have on people. you saved my life. i will always be there for you. i hope you know that. even though it breaks me u never really felt the same. you made me feel something no one else has made me feel. with all those memories i will forever regret not telling you how much i cared when i had chance after chance. in your wrong i cared so much for you i just overlooked it and i have never done that for anyone. you took for granted what you didn’t even know what i was doing. to this day if you wanted me back. i would say yes. you are my first love. i can never see me feeling the same towards someone else. but what am i supposed to do when we don’t talk like we used to. yes we broke the silence, yes your back. but it’s not the same. and it’s so hard to explain. if i knew it was gonna end the way it did. we didn’t even fight, just drifted. abs that hurts the most. but if i knew i would have never wasted that year. it may have seemed i moved on, but i don’t think i ever will. i think about you all the time. it hurts i will never have you because you will never feel the same way. i was so involved i was okay just being your friend. but everyday i ask why wasn’t i good enough. what didn't i have. why did u just leave one day. when i first met you i didn’t think it would go this far. but here we are.

i barely knew you, but i miss you. i miss your smile and your laugh and the way you made me smile. i wanna see you again just to see if it was all in my head or if we still have a shot at making it

yk two nights ago when we were together i let that moment sink in bc i knew it was the last time you would ever touch me again.

Im so incredibly thankful that you were my first real relationship and my first love. I took you for granted and I am sorry. I can't believe I haven't seen you since the day I broke up with you. I hope you've found someone since then that gave you everything you deserved! I have yet to find another guy that treated me the way you did.

Every time someone else tells me they love me, It doesn’t feel the same way like you said it. i’m unable to say it back to people other than you.

you will forever be my first real bf and longest bff. i am so grateful to have you in my life. i hope we get to see eachother get old

after you broke off with me, I felt like a piece of me was missing. All our promises you’ve broken. Now i feel like I can’t love someone else the same way i loved you.

Hey bub its me. I can't stop writing these just because I have so much to say. I hope you're not alone. I hope you're leaning on someone other than music. I hope you're taking care of yourself. I know you didn't have what you needed, but I hope you've found it. I hope you're happy, secure, and finally in love with yourself. And most of all I hope I run into you someday soon, maybe. Meet u on the pkwy? Chipotle on me.

I love you and everything about you more than I could ever say. I’m not exactly sure if you feel the same about me but I do hope one day you will. I’d do anything for you, I’d sacrifice all my happiness for you. I love you so much and I hope you never leave

I've compared everyone after you to you. It's kind of unfair, because no one can compare to you. Thank you for showing me what I deserve.

Purple makes me think of you. And so does most everything else. It feels good to be able to genuinely say I'm no longer am in love with you, but I'll always miss the part of you that was my best friend. I know we wouldn't work out long term, but I just want to know you're doing well. Thank you for the incredible impact you made on my life. Miss u always nodh

i really dont like you, and i should hate you. but its hard to hate you when i still miss you sometimes. but seriously go fuck yourself you piece of shit.

i still don't understand why you did that to me. i thought you weren't the typical boy who would lie and keep things from me. but i guess you were, and it hurts, a lot noah, it really does. i told you my heart gets attached fast and it did, but you didn't realize i guess. i just want to know why. i still love you, to the moon and back bub but i don't know how i'm gonna be okay again.

sunflower
by post malone and swale lee
(this was our song) every time I hear it I always think about you

you broke me. literally. i hope you know that. i hope you know how much time i spent trying to get over you and i hope someday you’ll feel the pain that i felt. but then i don’t want you to be hurt bc i still care about you. why am i like this? why do i still care about you? what did you do to me?

i didnt know i was able to like someone i hardly knew so fast! you mean more to me then i could ever put into words even tho i was just another girl in your mind that you where using for there body. you still mean so much to me and i will miss you:) but i know myself worth and that i want someone who likes me for me and not my body i still care and will always be here for you

i miss the old you. the happy, funny, lighthearted you. because i look at you now and all i see is someone i don’t recognise. i hope one day you’re able to see that

You’ve moved on, and you made it clear that you don’t wanna talk to me. yet my heart tells me i’ll always be in love with you. and it hurts knowing that while you’re moving on and finding someone else to call your happiness, i’ll be stuck thinking about you forever.

I miss your tiny hands and baby face. I miss playing football with you. I miss the way you used to run after me. I never stopped thinking about you.

i saw you today. 2 years & 2 bfs later & my heart still races when i get a glimpse of you. i wish it didn’t tho lol. makes me ill

it's only been a few weeks of talking to you, but I feel that special connection. i think I feel it about every boy I meet, but you truly do make me so happy, I have never smiled as much as I do when I talk to you. my friends notice when you snap me, my voice gets higher and I smile a lot more. there's something about you noah. i don't know what it is but you make me feel something. i never would have expected to trust people again. i really hope you don't break your promise. i love you, noah.