Unsent Messages

we’re to start noah u made me the person i am today. thank u so much for that. i don’t know what my life would be today if i never got hp. i wish we didn’t give up as fast as we did though. if i could re do it i would any day. we have so much unfinished. no one, has ever made me feel the same way you make me feel. i wish you knew the impact you have on people. you saved my life. i will always be there for you. i hope you know that. even though it breaks me u never really felt the same. you made me feel something no one else has made me feel. with all those memories i will forever regret not telling you how much i cared when i had chance after chance. in your wrong i cared so much for you i just overlooked it and i have never done that for anyone. you made me insecure about something i have never been insecure about. you made me feel worthless some nights. you made me feel like i had nothing to live for some nights. i sometimes don't even know why i stayed in this complicated friendship. yes you may have been joking on some things you said but it hurt. a lot. you used a lot against me. and sometimes you were the meanest person ever. you took for granted what you didn’t even know what i was doing. to this day if you wanted me back. i would say yes. you are my first love. i can never see me feeling the same towards someone else. but what am i supposed to do when we don’t talk like we used to. yes we broke the silence, yes your back. but it’s not the same. and it’s so hard to explain. if i knew it was gonna end the way it did. we didn’t even fight, just drifted. abs that hurts the most. but if i knew i would have never wasted that year. it may have seemed i moved on, but i don’t think i ever will. i think about you all the time. it hurts i will never have you because you will never feel the same way. i was so involved i was okay just being your friend. but everyday i ask why wasn’t i good enough. what didn't i have. why did u just leave one day. when i first met you i didn’t think it would go this far. but here we are. from the long face-times , the 3am talks , the memories , the online school , & so so so much more. i could talk for hours about all our memories. you are back in my life again but it’s just not the same. some nights i miss you more than anything. some nights i wish i never talked to you. you may never read this, you may. thank you for saving me when i didn’t know even know i needed it. thank you for teaching me what it takes to be a good friend. thank you for everything. i’m better at subway suffers btw.