Unsent messages to NOAH

i hope you’re mine forever

I just want you back. My life has been so dull without you.

i think of you always, please never let go

i will love you forever but i want you to love me just as much.

Wow you chose her.

I hate how bad you are for me because I really do like you.

I don't love you anymore. It feels so free.

what if i miss you for forever

you are my whole life and i love ypu sosp much

I wouldn't be here without you, you mean the world to me

Fuck you. After all the pain and trauma you’ve caused me, I still can’t get you out of my head. I miss you, but just the thought of you hurts me.

Dear Noah,
Sorry for all the wrong I did you.. I wish i could go back and be more grown about the shii i did and never did half of it in the first place. I wish I just left you alone and never put you through the stuff I did maybe you would have realized your self worth earlier. I love you and always will. I finally learned how to love you but not be inlove with you anymore. I still wish you found someone else or waited for me like we agreed you need to be careful. You can get into a lot of trouble and that is the last thing I want for you... I love you and wish you the best and i wanna text you tomorrow because its gonna be your birthday but i know i cant so best wishes to you

You said you’d always be there for me, then you blocked me the next day cuz your new girlfriend saw me as a threat. I wish you the best in that manipulative relationship

hi my love.
im about to go to sleep and im assuming youre seeing this early ish so, goodmorning :), i hope you slept well. im excited for valentines day and our 6 month lol, i really think you might like one of the things ive got for you.
i love you blue

hey baby, youre sleeping rn and its making me giggle every time your headboard squeaks . i know i can be horrible when im having a tough time and i know its not an excuse. i want you to know youre my everything, you always will be , no matter how either of us are behaving in the moment - youre my forever person. and i love you with my whole heart

I just wrote one about how I miss you. But the best part of life is that I can’t remember how your voice sounds anymore

I hope you know how much you helped me. I hope I helped you in a way too. I'm sad it's come to this, to becoming strangers, but I hope you're happy.

Im in love with you, I think me and you could be good together but Im scared I don't wanna lose my bestfriend

i know that you aren't over your ex, tbh i'm not over mine either. but maybe we could be lonely together?

You know, i was planning on telling you i love you that night in your room when your parents were in NY

I made this grey after the way the sky looked when we woke up at 7AM to watch the sunrise even though it was cloudy

I told you I wasn’t ready to date, but the truth is, I just really wanted us to get out of the awkward stage... and we never did.

I really want to like you, you are everything a girl wants, tall, cute, smart but for some reason i can't like you. But in a way without you i feel like a part of me is missing. You were my first love. And i really wish we were still in contact. And i hate hoe you pretend to not be interested in being my friend. I hate your new friends. i just really miss you. I remember the nicknames you used to call me. We didnt even fight, we just started moving on with our lives. Talking less and less to the point where we dont even talk. We used to be bestfriends. I can't tell if i want you in my life as a lover or as my bestfriend again. I doubt you are even reading this since you barely go on the internet but i just hope you know i will always be there for you.

noah, what you did hurt me very bad. you could've TOLD me you didn't want me you motherfucking bitch.

while the days go by without speaking to you it gets worse and worse, i miss you so much. I wanna sleep to avoid thinking of you but you’re in my dreams. please come back. i love you

it’s better for us to stay as friends but i wish i could do more things with you . i hope you stay in my life forever because i don’t want to lose you . you mean an incredible amount to me and losing you would crack my heart and results in an unfixable wound that won’t heal . i wish you thought of me as much as i think of you .

I think about u to much it makes me miss u so much more than I already do I cant even sleep half of the time and I wonder if u think of me most of the time and when I think about u it makes me remember all the good memories we had together what did I do wrong did I even do anything wrong i miss u so much

I miss you so much i wish I could tell I think about you most of the time sometimes I cant even sleep because of how much I think of you and it makes me wonder if you do to

you confuse me so much. i don’t understand why one day i get you and the next i don’t. i wish you would open up. i wish tomorrow to be a good, better, and normal day.

im sorry. i would do anything to return things to the way they used to be. i miss you so fucking much.

i like u alot more than i'm willing to admit. i could never gauge how u felt about me. i've come to terms with the fact that were just friends and we will probably never be anything more but i do wish we were closer cause i think you're a cool person and i enjoy spending time with you.

i love you. i really do. i just wish you didn’t live so far. and i’ve been keeping something from you that i wish i could tell you but i don’t know how.

how dare you convince me that love was as pathetic as what you made it seem; I realised now you were wrong

I still think about you, everyday actually. Although I think it's the idea of you I'm in love with. Do I even call it love?

i know you don't love me like i love you so no matter who i end up with, a part of my mind will always want to be with u.

You were my first real crush. The one that wanted to wake up in the crack of dawn to go to school and see. Now, your thousands of miles away and we barely talk. It kills me to think that we once were great friends, and now, we're nothing. come back

i love u but not the way a friend loves a friend. but u love me the way a friend loves a friend and that breaks my heart.

i hope you see this.
you were the worst. you hated everything i liked you wouldn't even give my music a try you'd call it lame or gay and hate on it. all the hours we talked on the phone and id tell you about what was going on in my life you didn't care not even a bit. you'd say can you talk about something intresting? that hurt! and then the not talking to me id ask you to call and you'd say no i think we didn't talk for 2 weeks on top of you never texting me first why why did i put all this time and energy into someone who really wouldn't care about me till it was over? you know before those last texts were sent i made a list of what you were doing to me and my mind i came up with 10 reasons. 10 reasons as to why i wasn't happy and yet i still am in love with you? i didn't want to end it and i still don't but i think for my sake it was the best.
its tough making that decision it really is but i knew once i started feeling so low to the point where i started hurting myself physically and mental it was over. seeing the scars on my body everyday and knowing its because of you makes me sick. and the days after were the worst pain i've ever been in but why do i still think about you? what do you want from me?

stop telling me that you're sorry you ruined your friendship with her. when you ruined me by cheating. fuck you

Im sorry that i hurt you. Ill never stop loving you. Youre my soulmate. I had to do what i did. In another life

Honestly looking back on everything, I would simply like to thank you for allowing me to find my worth on my own, I am so much stronger now.

why did you start to try for us, for me when I left... when I begged for months for you to try... why?

im sorry. i can’t bring myself to trust you or anyone to get that close to me again. to see the side that has been hidden for years. even if i think im fine, deep down i know i’m still broken. it’s ok to leave too, i understand how difficult it is, how difficult i am. i’m working on it.

it's been two years and i still break down at the thought of seeing you or hearing your voice and even your name. i dont know why you hurt me so bad. i probably deserved the threats

This has been bothering me all day, even though it's from months ago. What happened, in like May? You just stop talking to me, at least like how we used to talk. It's been weird ever since. Was it something I did? I don't even really care any more. I just want to know if it was me.

You are the worst person I have ever met. You hurt me in ways that nobody else could have and I need you to know that you caused me all that pain and I never trusted you. You can't keep trying to pry your way back into my life because you lost me. Goodbye

you make this life so amazing. i dont know what i would do without you. You are my bestfriend, my person. I am so grateful for you and all the colour you bring to my little grey world. i love you boo bear.

I’m sorry that our story ended with me the villain. What I don’t understand is why you want me back? You deserve better.

It's so dumb to still think about you because I was such a minuscule part of your life while you continue to take over mine even after 2 years of nothing. But I have so little good and you were so much good that I didn't know how to handle it. Now I just keep thinking, should I respond to you just to leave you on delivered again for weeks, or is it finally time to leave you on read. I've never been good at letting go, but what would I even be letting go of anymore, I don't know.

i’d give you anything you want and i love you more than i could ever show. please don’t ever leave me. you’re my other half.