Unsent messages to MOM
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 19, 2020, 1:29 am UTC
When I was younger I had no clue of the damage you would bring. I always thought of you as my rolemodel and my sunshine. It hurts knowing that you hurt me unintentionally and I can't say anything about it to anyone. I wish you could see how much you say leaves a mark on me - damaged daughter
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 11:07 pm UTC
Hey mom. I want you to know that i like girls. I know how you feel about the lgbtq community. I already know you don’t support me, but could you still love me anyway?
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 9:12 pm UTC
To you, I'm still your little girl, but you lost your little girl a long time ago. You gave me nothing but trauma.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:23 pm UTC
I wake up every day having to realize I can never hug you again and it breaks my heart all over again
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:11 pm UTC
Im not your perfect child, the one you wanted or needed for yourself. Im drowning momma, I need help. but I don't know how to tell you. Im scared you'll hate me. I want hugs, but I haven't gotten any from you in a while. Im scared momma, terrified. I want to be your happy little girl again. I want to go back home. Im tired momma. i wanna give up so bad. but I cant. i love you I miss the old us too. please don't hate me momma, please. i swear ill do better.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:57 pm UTC
I need help,I’m struggling and don’t know how to tell you. I don’t know how much longer I can make it. Oh and I’m bi
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:06 pm UTC
I'd like you to realise that I am not okay.
I'd like you to notice what I'm really feeling under my mask.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 10:46 am UTC
I want to hate you but of course I never will, I know how much you've been through. But wouldn't you realize that words have big effects
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:58 am UTC
I’m sorry I’m not the perfect daughter you’ve always wanted. I’m trying my best but I just can’t do it anymore. Ever since I started online school I lost all my motivation to do anything.I just want to leave this world so I can finally be happy. I’m scared of failing you.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:14 am UTC
you see these arent really for my first love but they are to the people who have hurt me and sadly youre one
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:13 am UTC
i looked up to you. i hate you at times but i care and love you so much i wish you would show some affection.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:05 am UTC
i just wanted you to care. i needed space to breathe but I couldn't with you constantly yelling at me.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 4:49 am UTC
You scare me, I hate that you control my life and I’m trying my best in school I’m not like Mia, I can’t get straight a’s without studying. I need you to support me and be able to talk to me when I’m upset you shouldn’t be a main source of my stress and add to my depression. I feel worthless and like a slut when you say some things to me and you don’t know how much it hurts, I’m happy with him I’m sorry u don’t love him but I do and you have to accept that, I want to be with him. I’m so scared of you and this isn’t how it’s supposed to be
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:57 am UTC
thank you for trying to make me strong. i know you tried your best. but it wasnt good enough i guess. this isnt goodbye, just see you later. well if god still loves me after i do this. just know it wasnt your fault. the world is too cruel for me. love you mommy.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:47 am UTC
how tf do you not notice the change in me? Literally its written all over my face that im not okay. please take a hint, i want help.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:03 am UTC
i wish you would have listened to me when I told you how I was feeling the first time because I've never felt worse then I do now
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 18, 2020, 1:04 am UTC
I'm sorry for making your life so hard lately and i'm sorry for pushing it too far. I wish I was a better kid and I'm sorry I'm not. You may not be the best parent, but you deserve better then me. You might blame yourself at first and it is your fault . I hope this eats you alive, I really do. Yeah I'm a shit kid, but at least I didn't force my kid to experience mental health issues at the age of 9 just because I couldn't realize that I was a fucking problem like some people. Dad has told you, my brother has told you, and now I have told you how awful of a person you are. You've ruined our lives and no I'm not being overdramatic. A kid my age shouldn't have to worry every second of the day because I'm second that if I breath to loud you'll yell at me. I'm sorry and even though I'm saying these shitty things I love you.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 17, 2020, 11:41 pm UTC
Sorry im not good enough. Sorry I cut myself. Sorry i felt the need to do that and you assume its for attention. Go ahead send me to fucking military school because im such a monster but you made me this way. Why are you such a bitch. You tell everyone I have a great fucking life and then wonder why i have so many mental illnesses. I cant wait to get out of this house and out of your life. And you saying you didnt do anything wrong then there wouldnt be a reason why i want to leave at 14.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 17, 2020, 4:47 am UTC
You were supposed to be there for me when I needed you the most. You broke me more than you will ever know. I hope you’re happy
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 17, 2020, 1:32 am UTC
alr so i actually want to leave ngl i want to leave and move with ky she treats me way better than you ever did and ever will tbh i can’t wait to turn 18 so i can leave this stupid fucking house y’all literally treat me like shit and i’m sick of it and you don’t care ab anything dad says to me even tho yk it hurts and when i was telling you ab what zijo and mirzet said you didn’t care even tho i wanted to cry i feel really strong for never snapping at you like all my friends do when they are mad at their parents but just know i really hate living with you and i never want to see you again after college
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 17, 2020, 12:57 am UTC
you hurt my feelings a lot and you don’t care about my feelings and it kinda hurts and i just want you to care about me lmao
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 16, 2020, 11:10 pm UTC
Why didn’t you do more to help me you were always eager to help him why not me? I always knew he was your favorite so I guess that explains why.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 16, 2020, 9:08 pm UTC
Not my first love, but definitely my first heartbreak. You taught me love is more important than your own children. I hope you one day realize it.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 16, 2020, 1:59 am UTC
dear mom , i’m sorry for the things i did that you don’t know about. I’m scared to lose you and it feels like i’m in a constant state of fear that something might happen to you. I hope we can meet again. Love you and i’m sorry
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 16, 2020, 12:36 am UTC
i don’t wanna live here, why’d you take me away from anyone i love. i’m so far from him. i just wanna see him but you wouldn’t ever let me and never will. all because i “cant date” if they’re not up to your bullshit standard.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 15, 2020, 9:54 am UTC
I miss the old you. The you that cared about others. The you that didn't screamed and yelled at their daughter because she was the child of an ex-lover. The you that didn't drank themselves to sleep. The you that didn't act like a rebelling teenager. The you that knew phrases like "thank you" and "please". I don't know what happened to that you, but I really, really, really wish I could meet that you again.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 15, 2020, 7:23 am UTC
I know you don’t try to tear me down like you do, and I do love you, but im so ready to move out forever.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 13, 2020, 7:02 pm UTC
Please just love me. I promise I’m worthy. All I want is for you to love me. Please, mom. Please love me back. Please.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 13, 2020, 4:58 pm UTC
Sometimes i wish u would be proud of me ,atleast for a sec. I'm sorry for nothing beimg your perfect daughter but i'm trying. Really. I wish i could come home only once without getting told how useless i am. I am sorry for not being able to kiss or even hug you. I'm sorry. I guess i should've jut aborted me when u tried.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 12, 2020, 12:35 am UTC
you've hurt me in so many ways. but i'm not sure what a lot of them are, or why they hurt so much. now we won't ever get to talk about it. i hope you know i genuinely do love you- a lot too. but i don't feel safe around you. at all. i know you'll probably never see this. take care of you and carlson. i'm sorry i'm leaving you- so soon as well.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 11, 2020, 2:29 am UTC
i’m sorry that i’ll never be good enough for you and that i’m not who you want me to be. i’m sorry that i constantly feel like a burden to everyone, i just wish that you liked me enough not to threaten to leave for every little thing i did.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 10, 2020, 5:51 pm UTC
i’m so sorry it had to end that way. i wish i could’ve said goodbye. i miss and love you more everyday.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 10, 2020, 5:50 pm UTC
i’m so sorry it had to end that way. i wish i could’ve said goodbye. i miss and love you more everyday.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 10, 2020, 1:07 am UTC
i dont know why you ruined me life and act like you didnt i have felt happy bc of you since 2018 so thanks
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 9, 2020, 8:22 am UTC
i love you but idk how to show it. i hate you, but i love you. i really hate but i love you. idk how to explain it but i'm sorry
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 9, 2020, 4:40 am UTC
I don't understand how someone can be so cruel to their family. You tell your husband to leave and to take us with him. That you'll be better off without us. If you didn't want us, why did you even have us? You want your children to love you? Respect you? But then yell you don't want us and what? Except us not to hear? Fuck you, Tanya ❤️
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 7, 2020, 4:57 pm UTC
first loves don’t have to be romantic. i wish i would’ve told you i loved you before you decided to take your life.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 7, 2020, 4:55 pm UTC
first loves don’t have to be romantic. i wish i would’ve told you i loved you before you decided to take your life.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 7, 2020, 4:41 pm UTC
im sorry for being such a disappointment to you. i really tried my best but i don't see a future ahead of me.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 5, 2020, 5:43 am UTC
i'm so sorry you arent happy. i love you so much please just hold on a little longer i know you can do it
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: November 3, 2020, 3:06 am UTC
"it made you strong" i was just a kid i shouldn't have been taking care of my little sister i just wanted parents to be around
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 31, 2020, 1:59 am UTC
Why did you choose him over me? I'm your child, I thought you would always take care of me. I miss the old you
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 31, 2020, 12:12 am UTC
why do u hate me so much. i love you with my entire heart yet you never stop calling me a disappointment
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 28, 2020, 2:29 am UTC
I miss the time where I didn't have to fake smile.Now I just lay in bed all night, thinking why im not good enough
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 27, 2020, 5:52 pm UTC
I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I disappointed you. I’m sorry I turned out this way. I’m sorry I’m not strong.
I love you ❤️
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 25, 2020, 4:30 pm UTC
I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry that I’m not that strong girl I used to be. I sorry that u always have to worry. I’m tired of acting ok or u saying I’m overreacting that it’s just a phase. I just want everything to stop, please... please
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 25, 2020, 3:43 pm UTC
I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry that I’m not that strong girl I used to be. I sorry that u always have to worry. I’m tired of acting ok or u saying I’m overreacting that it’s just a phase. I just want everything to stop, please... please
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 24, 2020, 5:34 am UTC
i told you i was depressed and all you said was "oh so you think im a bad mom?" all i wanted was a hug
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 19, 2020, 10:45 am UTC
I forgive you for everything, but I just want to know you are sorry, or at least that you never meant any of it.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: October 15, 2020, 8:59 pm UTC
i wish u would believe me when i told u i was so sad. i’m trying to ask for help and ur making it worse.
