Unsent messages to MOM
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 18, 2023, 7:04 pm UTC
did you raise me because you wanted to or because you had to?
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 16, 2023, 2:54 am UTC
Just because we’re family doesn’t mean I have to forgive you.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 15, 2023, 8:58 pm UTC
I hope you are able to heal, for yourself and others.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 15, 2023, 8:47 pm UTC
Suffocating me with love is still suffocating.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 12, 2023, 9:26 pm UTC
thank you for giving me everything i ever needed and more . <3
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: July 11, 2023, 5:37 pm UTC
you broke me and left me with no way to pick up the pieces
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 19, 2021, 1:06 am UTC
No, this is not a romantic love, but one I so desperately needed. I loved you mom, unconditionally. And the conditions nearly killed me, but still I loved you. Even when I felt so unloved. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive you for making me feel unlovable.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 19, 2021, 1:03 am UTC
No, this isn’t a romantic love. But a love that I needed, and never received. For that I will never forgive you.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 18, 2021, 7:56 am UTC
thank you for being the best you can be for me. you're truly an amazing parent. im trying to become more open to you about my mental health but its hard. its hard to explain and i don't want to worry you. im sorry you've been treated like shit by a lot of people, including me. im still growing up and say stupid shit to you i don't mean and i hope you understand that. thank you for being so understanding and not being a crazy strict mom, i love you very much.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 16, 2021, 10:50 am UTC
You were the person who I wanted to show the best sides of me. I wanted to be you and do everything you did, I loved to watch you work. Now I hate my own face which is a spitting image of you and I’ve become the very thing I hate the most. You.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 16, 2021, 8:16 am UTC
sorry i didn't live up to your expectations. i hope being your perfect little doll was enough for you until you got bored of me and gave up. i told you my dreams and you said they werent good enough.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 14, 2021, 4:13 am UTC
sometimes i wish you would let me live. youve forced myself into growing up too young. sometimes i just wanna live, and b a teenager. im only a freshman and u want me 2 worry abt college
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 13, 2021, 7:18 pm UTC
Hi mom, today I didn´t go to school. There´s a note in the table. If don´t want to...don´t celebrate my funeral. Bye mom.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 13, 2021, 9:44 am UTC
once i'm 18, it's game over. i will have no contact with you and i will thrive. i'm not letting you push me down anymore. i'm not the scared little girl that i once was. change for the better or don't even bother contacting me. you're ungrateful and selfish, i want nothing to do with you. i still have love in my heart for you and that pisses me off. i want to hate you so badly because you are scum. you are fucking garbage. you treat everyone around you like shit. we are so tired of it. tired of you and your toxic behavior.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 13, 2021, 4:16 am UTC
I appreciate everyone you do every single day and I know you don’t see that but ily and hope you understand that I’m a teenager and I can be rude sometimes or get on your nerves but at the end of the day ily with all my heart and you mean so much to me.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 13, 2021, 3:58 am UTC
fuck you for making me hate myself. fuck you and your religion. fuck you for not loving me bc of one thing i can't change.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 12, 2021, 7:45 pm UTC
i love u sm but i think u've hurt me the most. my whole life i've tried 2 make u satisfied but it never seems 2 be enough 4 u, huh? ur words have hurt me. the things u call me circle my mind everyday, ik they're not true tho. i know who i am, i am NOT who u say i am. i wish 2 never be like u, im sorry. i also hate the fact that i came out 2 u and u cant even support me yet u can support ur 2 queer sisters. i love u with all my heart but i also hate u.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 12, 2021, 2:10 pm UTC
You’re the first person I met and the first person I love. There’s one thing I want to tell you: you are the greatest mom ever.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 12, 2021, 6:42 am UTC
You hurt me in a way I’m not sure can be prepared. When you found out I tried to kill myself, you told me “not to take too much” the next time I needed medicine. When I came out to you, you told me I was too young to know. You treat me like a child despite the fact that I’m 19. I love you, I love you so much, but I am afraid of you, because of how deeply you can hurt me.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 10, 2021, 2:34 pm UTC
I dont hate you for what you did. But I do think it was unfair. I was just a child for fuck sake. I forgive you, but i cant forget.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 9, 2021, 6:44 am UTC
mom, i love you, but you hurt me. you gave me a tough childhood. I try to think of the happy moments, but the dark ones cloud it. i'm sorry, i wish i could love you with all of my heart.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 8, 2021, 3:41 pm UTC
17 years ago today you held daddy’s hand and left this world. I will forever miss you. There’s so much I wish I could say to you. Every time I see sunflowers I know it’s you. I love you mom
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 8, 2021, 8:48 am UTC
If there is no god, know the day I die I lived through heaven...and that I gave it hell and even tho it hurt, that’s living.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 8, 2021, 4:28 am UTC
I’m sorry I was such a brat...I miss you so much..I wish you where here with me mommy...it’s getting harder to do it everyday but I hope you would be proud of the person I’m becoming...I made it to 18 for you. -Love aways and forever Faithy
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 7, 2021, 12:30 pm UTC
I think I remember when you told me you would leave us if you didn't love me. Now I'm thinking I want you to leave.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 7, 2021, 8:09 am UTC
I don’t know what I’m doing mom. You told me that if you died, you weren’t going to be worried about me because you believed in me. But I’m so lost and I don’t know who I am anymore.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 6, 2021, 11:08 am UTC
I know you say that you love me
But I know that you don’t love who I’ve become and wish I could be different.
No one wants a fucked up daughter, I know.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 6, 2021, 10:31 am UTC
you provided me with everything i ever needed and love me but i cant seem to be comfortable around you and i hate myself for it
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 6, 2021, 9:31 am UTC
you weren't my first love (obviously) but you hurt me more than anyone ever could. repeatedly. and i somehow forgive you, which makes it hurt all the more when you do it again. I wish we could be better, and I wish you weren't like this. I'm tired of trying, of attempting to make you something you're not.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 6, 2021, 2:18 am UTC
I need everything to stop, I need a break from life and just have some peace and I need you to understand you dont know shit about what's happening in my life. yeah, you have been a teenager too, but we're not the same! I'm trying SO hard to make you happy, but you don't see i'm dying inside and can't do it anymore
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 5, 2021, 6:03 pm UTC
i hate you, i hate what you’ve done to me, you made me feel like the bad one, like it’s my fault when it actually all yours, you made me this way and i will never forgive you
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 5, 2021, 10:55 am UTC
why do you love her so much? she isn’t her anymore you have to let her go she hasn’t been herself for years and she’s never coming back it’s hurting me to watch
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 5, 2021, 10:54 am UTC
this summer you started my eating disorder the second you said i should loose weight before i try a bikini. i was skinny then and i’m painfully skinny now
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 5, 2021, 2:11 am UTC
Dear Mom, I’ve spent over half my childhood and life without you and it feels crushing. I miss you, I hate that I cant remember you, that you left much earlier than anyone could have planned for. I wish you could have been here for me, and that you could see me graduate. But I understand that you’ve been there for me and will be there for me in spirit. I wish I could remember more than I can, but the memory of your warmth, kindness, love, and selflessness is enough for me. I just hope you're somewhere nicer and in less pain then you were in here on earth. I love you and miss you every day. ❤️
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 5, 2021, 1:59 am UTC
I wish you understood me. When you constantly yell at me for the smallest reasons, it makes my mental health worse. You would never understand. I don't open up to you for various reasons. If only you knew what I am going through.
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 4, 2021, 7:21 pm UTC
i hate you so much you ruin so many things for me you dont let me live the life i wanna live you hold me back so much in things i love well i used to love you pull me back and hold me back so much i cant live like this anymore i just wanna leave this house full of trauma and pain and start over with people who will care abt me and will let me live my life in my own way bc im simply just not the daughter you want me to be and im sorry that i dissapoint you like that im sorry that i cant be better or cant do better im just struggeling and you and dad dont notice that im losing myself and that im falling back into a darkplace i fought so hard to get out of and you made me get back to that place so quick like how could you do that to your daughter and dont notice it like wtf is wrong with you i have scars all over my hands from nights you took it too far and i started blaming myself for the fact that you do this to me
From: ABC
To: mom
Date: January 4, 2021, 9:05 am UTC
She got sick, and you forgot about me. And I was alone for so long, so I’m sorry if I can’t help but want to be alone now
