Unsent messages to MADDIE

I’m sorry our friendship didn’t work out. I’m sorry I judged you too. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe in another life.

I miss you so much even though i know it’s better we are apart but thank you so much for helping me grow

Hey! Idk if you’d see this, but I wanna let you know you’re so amazing and I’ll never leave you. I’m so proud of you and I’ll love you forever

i love you so much. i cant wait to spend my days with you. i fall in love with you more everyday! it’s incredibly what love can do to someone. you make me feel so happy and safe! i miss you so much.. i just want you to kiss me again... fuck. i really miss you! i want to see you again. you are literally perfect for me. you are everything i’ve always wanted. thank you for being here. i love you kitten (:

Maddie, what the hell. I stuck with you forever. I really fucked up my mental health just to be with you. I showed so often how much I cared for you. I valued your life more than my own. But I guess that was still not enough for you and now we're done. Thanks for the shitty year!

I loved you. I would've done anything for you and then you just went and stabbed me in the back. I wish one day you'll realize the pain and emotions I feel.

You'll never know that you taught me there is love all around. You are so special, and you never give yourself enough credit.

you made me feel as if i wasn’t enough when on the contrary i was too much , my love was overwhelming and you just decided to let me go and when i got better you tried coming back to me because you realized few love the way i love

hey i've only just realised this now, but i think i loved you. you were my everything and i would have died for you. tbh, i still think i love you. that's why it hurts so bad :(

thank you for everything. except taking her. and being the first girl i liked, def hurt lol, this doesn’t make any sense does it.

well.

thanks.

you’re my best friend and still are, i wouldn’t say that i'm hung up on you. i just know that i won’t ever stop loving you.

you’ll always be my best friend. the serena to my blair. the paris to my nicole. the sun to my moon. i still miss you

you were my closet friend and i always knew it was too good to be true. just like i expected, you ruined everything for me, i am no longer happy around you and you make me miserable and yet i still love you and cant let you go

I still don't know
why you hate me. I was always there for you, unlike the people you hang out with now :/

hey it’s my birthday lol, i miss you so much and i wish you were here, there’s so much going on right now, i am trying to convince myself that i’m getting better but i’m honestly not, i had the worst day ever and i’ve just been in a bad mood all day and i haven’t really texted anyone because i don’t wanna lash out on them, they don’t deserve to be lashed out on for no reason and i feel so bad and it makes me feel like a terrible person because deep down i’m a good person but when i act like this it just messes everything up. philip texted me today, he asked how i was doing and how my day was, i told him about the concert and he’s really happy for me, i wish you were here because you always gave the best advice and i have been needing it lately, like me and this boy i’ve been telling you about, i feel like he doesn’t like me, but i always think that no matter what, he’s too good for me and he doesn’t deserve me at all, and i feel bad for him because i act like a bitch all the time and i can’t help it. i miss you so much maddie and i wish you were here - your best friend:).

hii for real tho i dont know you very well but ur really nice! i wish u could vc with us more often bc id like to get to know u better :)

hey shawty! it's your fav homo. i'm here to say yr one of my best friends and youre swag even though youre tall i guess its not your fault xoxo your mom smells and you should move in because we are both hot and mentally unstable

why? i wish you could've been more open with me. i wish i had known what was going on, maybe then things could have been salvaged. what happened was for the best though, right? anyway, i hope things go your way, and you find people who make you happy. no matter what you might think, you deserve the most genuine form of happiness. i'm sorry i wasn't the one to give it to you.

you. fucked. me. up. but i will always love you and you were many of my firsts. you helped me discover what i wanted for myself and who i was. that night at the football game was unforgettable and even if i am moved on from you that night will always have a place in my heart.

I love how we still are ok with each other. I just wanted to tell you I had real feelings for you, I know I was just an experiment but thank you for calling me during the thunderstorms and making me feel ok when I had no one.

thank you for sticking with me for the past 2-3 years. it's a relief to know i could rely on your unconditional support. thank you.

for my birthday im going to a harry styles concert, no one was really happy for me, i only told a few people and they all kinda made fun of me, i know you would have been happy for me. i get to bring one of my friends, i would bring you if you were still here because i know how important 1D and harry styles is to you, maybe i should bring phlilip? idk if he would want to go lol

hi hi, i miss you. im doing a little better i guess :))) not a lot has happened since the last time i wrote to you on here my birthday is in 10 days, im scared, i dont want to grow up, all of this is so scary, honestly i just wanna be a kid again, back when me and you and philip would hang out almost every day, before you passed, everything was great, i wish you were still here mads. anyways, that boy and i are still together, i feel like he's getting tired of me, and like he just doesn't really like me anymore, i hope im wrong because i really like him :(. but anyways i love you and miss you so much, till next time maddie

I didn’t know it was possible to feel this way about a human being until I met you. I wish I had told you, I hadn’t just fallen for you. But I think I’m in love with you. Because of you I know what love feels like, and I am eternally greatful

you r my shawty and my gf and my wife. u rly r bestie 4 da restie. cannot believe we have been friends since freshman year of high school now we r almost 20. you make me genuinely so happy and i am so glad you are in my life miss girl :)

I’m letting go. I wish you peace because you couldn’t handle chaos. I loved you and would have done anything to prove it. Now I’m gone and I’m not coming back. Don’t contact me again.

You never reached out when I was at an obvious low in my depression. I gave so much in our friendship and got nothing in return. I'm still pissed you bullied me into apologizing for telling you what you said made me uncomfortable. I stopped reaching out to you because I was always the one to text first and then I wouldn't get a response for days. It didn't even feel like you wanted me to be your friend.So I stopped, and assumed maybe you would eventually reach out. And you didn't. Which makes our friendship feel incredibly superficial and like I was putting so much into something so one-sided.Some part of me assumed we'd go back to normal, but then you wrote that thing and blocked me and talked about shit behind my back. Like why? Why did you think that was okay? Why didn't you ever reach out? It was not my responsibility, especially concerning my past mental state, to be the one in charge of our entire friendship.

you will forever be my first love. when i said i love you the last time and u didn’t that hurt. hugging you for the last time
broke my heart more than anything. i miss you and your family so much, especially ur dogs

i wish you were here right now, i miss you so much, like every day it gets worse, i feel so bad for not saying goodbye to you before you went on that trip, i love you so much and theres so much that i wish i could tell you, like relationship problems, ever since we were little you always sort of knew how to solve every problem, like when we were 9 and i bashed my face i the concrete because i was riding too fast, you knew exactly what to do, i just dont get it, why did it have to be you, i really wish i said bye to you, on your birthday me and philip hung out, i cried to him for hours, he doesnt really understand all of my problems and he was a bit rude, but its his way of showing love, hes always been like that, ever since we were kids, people at our school are shipping us again , i hate it so much, why cant people just understand that were just friends, he misses you so much too, he doesnt say it, but trust me he does. also me and that boy i told you about are still together, i really like him, like a lot, you would like him too, im sort of starting to become like him almost as if im copying his personality, im not mad about it though, hes pretty cool and nice, its weird that he likes me though because ive always been this really shy, innocent girl and i never attract guys, its always my body, i hope its different this time. bye for now, i love you -your best friend

i wish i didn't view you in a different light after what happened. You really were the source of my happiness.

I did rlly like you. Like alot. U made me feel appreciated, and i liked that u still chased after me even tho I ended it.

at that party, last halloween, i remember. i never bought it up to you, because i didn't want you to be embarrassed, or something. but i remember what you said. and i felt the same way.

you are truly one of the best people i have ever met. i dont know where i would be without you. you are kind, loving, beautiful, and so much more. so thankful for you

im sorry. im such an asshole for everything. i shouldn't have shut you or everyone else out. i was at the lowest point in my life and i felt like i had to leave everyone before they got the chance to leave me. if i could go back in time and keep our friendship alive, trust me, i would do it in a heartbeat. i miss you lots and i love you. please remember that.

i hope you know how amazing you are and how many people love you. dont ever let the sad things take away your happiness

hi maddie,
i miss u. i wish we still talked and i know we've gone our separate ways now but i hope ur doing well

this is for when youre sad and scrolling through here again i love you forever maddie mae its gonna be okay

I miss my best friend. I think about you often and hope you are the happiest you have ever been. Love you forever.

i wish we could have stayed best friends. i loved being your friend. i miss it but you have new friends now, have fun :)

when i talk to you i see hope that i could be happy with someone else again. im hurting so badly and i just want to talk to you all the time.

Lets just pretend I didn't care either, maybe it will ease the pain for me, but we both know that isn't true..

I hate you. You deserve every bad thing in the world. You made me feel like I was a terrible, unloveable monster when in reality, that's what you are.

i really feel like you stole my best friend from me but you two r obviously closer now. just please don’t take any of my other friends.

The colour of the shirt you wore under a denim dress on a date in Starbucks last May. I remember. I love you, you may not realise it but I do. I just can't be with you now. I'm not sure why, I have some borders that I need to cross first. I love you, I want you, to feel you, to be with you.
I'm sorry.
O.

that one time after over a year of falling out, we just laughed together and all the memories came back. you were my bestest friend and i miss you.

I hope you never have to feel the pain that I felt, and that I can take away as much as possible. I haven't actually said this to you yet but I love you

don’t let your loneliness make you reconnect with toxic people. you shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty. wait a little and water will appear.

Maddie, you’re really fun to talk to and you’re really nice to me, I hope to be your friend and have more conversations with you.

thank you for being my friend. I love talking about one direction with you. I chose this color because it is the color of your eyes.

I denied it. I denied that I was in love with you, and that I still am. But you dropped me like I was nothing so maybe it was better that I didn't say anything. Idk, because every time I pass you in the hallway I realize how bad you were to me and how I trusted you and you gave it all away. Im broken from it but I cant imagine if I had told you. Never be like that to anyone else. Dont drag them on like you did to me then drop them like that. Dont hurt anyone else like that. I dont think you noticed how bad you made me feel but if you did im happy you hurt me instead of someone you truly love.