Unsent messages to MADDIE

im sorry i never liked you. i was straight the whole time. and i hope she treats you better

i miss talking to you. i hope we get through this.

couldn't you look into my soul and see something to love?

i want u

I cant get you out of my head.

i’m sorry.

U R ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!

i should have known you couldn't love me

you say no one ever cared, but i’ve always been here

i miss the old you

i would drop everything if you came and talked to me

I miss you so much ml and always remember I’ll love you forever

i still wonder how you’re doing even after everything

I wonder if you feel the sexual tension too

I miss you, idk if I can live without you

I hate how you walk all over me and I let you

I love you. I may follow you to Boston someday.

if you see this, ask me to be your girlfriend

i’m so grateful that you’re my best friend

i still think about you.

it pains me how much i care and how much you clearly don't

i miss you so much

i’m sorry for everything that has happened.

i don't even know how to start letting you go

i miss our friendship but you've changed and it's too late

You saved my life.

I'm too invested in your happiness to choose my own

I hope one day you realize the games you played with my mind.

i love your soul. i’ll always be here.

wait for me

I think about you a lot. I don't think I even cross your mind.

If you told me you loved me, I’d wait forever for you.

“i’ve missed u longer than i’ve known u”

i love u but i will never understand you

I wish you were still in my arms

I would say I am mad at you but i’m not. It hurts you say I left you out when thats all you ever did to me. I wanted to be close to you so badly and wanted to be your friend. But no matter how hard I tried people either forced me into not liking you or you turned to not like me. I want to say they turned us against eachother but you wouldn’t believe that. we used to say we were the only ones that understood eachother now that seems to be untrue. you know those things she said aren’t true? i never ever meant to treat you badly. she did she had bad intentions in the beginning and all the suddenly completely switched up. i’m sorry for hurting you maddie I wish you could see my side and understand that you are my only person that i felt i could truly feel and relate to. i wish you would tell me when i do stuff and not let her say shit. but other wise i care and love you very much.

hi. im better now, yesterday was not fun, i had another episode and i was just screaming and crying in my sleep, my mom woke me up because she was worried and i couldn't snap back into the real world and it was like i was re living one of the worst moments on my life, it was so scary. my mom took me off of my meds because she thought i was better but apparently not. i hate being like this because its causing problems in my real life like with my boyfriend, i think he understands why i am like this but im not fully sure. i told him about why i am the way i am and why i have so much ptsd and he said he understood. i have a feeling that he is gonna break up with me because of it and i honestly dont blame him, like i dont want him to because i really like him but if he did then it would make sense. i miss you a lot more than usual lately, you gave the best advice and if you were here then i know you would be able to help. some people from my school started calling me by my nickname, i hate when people do that, its kinda just a personal thing and i only like when my family and really close friends call me it, especially because you made it up for me. my dad calls me my nickname and i dont mind it honestly but its just annoying when other people do it. its been crazy here lately, like politics are scary, and just everything tbh. but yeah i miss you a lot.

i thought it would work out. perhaps i was wrong. or perhaps it wasn't the right time, and you'll be back.

thank you so much for being a big part of my life, even though you're on the other side of the world, you've been one of the best people in my life and have helped me through some of my lowest points without even knowing. I wish you the best that the world has to offer! ily and we'll see each other soon

stop steal my entire personality, stop triggering my eating problems, stop making me feel like a literal piece of shit. leave. me. alone.

I honestly don’t understand how you lead me on and let me fall for you thinking you were falling for me too it just sucks you know I really thought we were going to be together for a long time it hurts to this day but I’m getting over you already it makes me happy that I can move on but it’s just so fucked up of you to do that and I hope no one else gets hurt like that

You make me feel so special, I wish i could be closer to you but i'm scared, please give me a little more time. and I love you more than you can ever imagine.

You deserve better than you are treated. Your soul is so bright. You are loved by so many people, even those who don’t say it. I love you. I hope you know I still remember those times we shared and I will never forget them like you said, I miss you and I’m coming back for you. I love you with all my heart.

you broke me. you told lie after lie about me and blamed me for it. you ruined my reputation. you bullied me, claimed you didn’t know me. you never asked once about me. you forced me to come out, you fucked everything up. i understand i was in the wrong at times. but i am not the only one to say that being friends with you was a mistake. you are manipulative and then call others the same. you are beyond toxic, you do whatever you want and think it’s ok because you’re “different”. you’re different in a bad way. shit won’t always be easy for you. stop being a shitty friend. stop being a shitty person. stop telling lie after lie and claiming you didn’t do shit, and then blaming it on your mental health. you fucking hurt people regardless of if you like it or not. you are scum. i wish i never met you.

As much as you broke my heart, you taught me how to love. For that, I’m forever grateful. I’ll always have love for u my darling. I haven’t talked to you in a very long time. I haven’t reached out because I think that’s what’s best for both of us. Who knew we would’ve ended up breaking each other’s hearts in the end. Our love was something else wasn’t it. I hope you are well.

ur my yellow, my bestfriend, my platonic soulmate, no one compares to u anymore u mean so much to me and i really don’t want to ever lose u bubs thank u for sticking around when no one else did i owe u so much ur incredible and i am so proud of u

I never actually said it back because I was scared, but I loved you too. I think part of me always will.

I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye before moving. I'm sorry we don't talk as much anymore. I hope you know that seeing you recently made me the happiest I've been in a long time.

You occupied my mind for so long my personality became a necklace strung just for you but you couldn’t decide if you wanted it.

you’re stuck up and toxic , you deserve none of the people you have. you think life gets handed to you on a plate and use trauma as an excuse. it’s pathetic and you need to change.