Unsent messages to JAKE

Goodnight my love. Sleep well. I hope you have an amazing Monday tomorrow and discover how to enjoy each day
I love you just as much or more as the first time I told you.

All your favorite songs were my favorite songs. Now I can't listen to anything without thinking of you.

You’ve made me feel so alive, darling. You got me through the worst of it, and I hope one day we wake up in the same bed. I hate the distance.

I wish I still loved you like I once did, but you took advantage of that. You were my forever. Now you lost me forever.

i wish you would just stop seeing girls you will date for a week and just follow thru with me already

it’s been forever, yet i still never knew why you left. i think about you every couple of years. why did you not love me?

I don’t know if I was in love with you, or the idea of you...but once upon a time you were everything to me, and I was nothing to you

i loved you a lot ,i think you knew but you just never felt the same but you always made my day when i saw your smile

Thank you for all the memories. For all the laughter, for all the tears. For everything you have taught me. You were my first love and I'm never gonna forget you. But, you clearly don't want me so I have to let you go. I love you forever jacob.

I still think about you sometimes but then I remember you aren't thinking of me and want nothing to do with me.

i want to tell u how much u hurt me, how i sat and broke my heart to my mum. but you'll never know the pain you caused. you'll never know thr countless hours i spent thinking and crying.how even though i had my final exams i stayed up till 4am just to talk to you. how i pushed away my dad, my friends even my best friend to spend time with you. how i spent every waking minute thinking about how much i loved you. how even though you shattered my confidence and told me i wasnt good enough i took you back. it broke my heart. i couldnt imagine a life without you. so id rather be broken but with you because nothing else mattered. you were my everything. i loved you wholeheartedly. but you see the thing is although there is so much you didn't know. there was so much you did know. you knew me. you knew me inside and out. every crevice, every insecurity i let you see. you came into my life at such a fragile time. you knew this, you knew how vulnerable i was how i gave you my heart and soul but it still wasn't good enough. why wasnt it good enough. i want to know why you fucking did me like that what did i ever do to you. i look back now and don't see myself. i look back and see a teenage girl who barley knew herself be ur emotional punching bag. make u feel good when u needed. answered the phone at 3am when u were bored. let you blow me off, ignore me. never got upset over the things you used to scream at me for. i let you use me i let you leave me broken on the ground. but my heart. me. i was never going to be good enough.
so even though a year on i wonder why you did what you did. i dont care about you. i dont care if you got promoted. i dont care if you passed your course. i dont care who you are. you're nothing. you're nobody anymore. so you know what although you broke me, left me vulnerable it made me stronger. because now you don't get to know me. you dont get to see me vulnerable. you dont have me anymore. you've caused me so much pain so much hatred but i dont hate you. i thank you. you made me learn to love myself. i don't need that 3am 'love u' text to know i am loved. i don't need you now. i needed you to break me so i could fix me. and thats both the best gift and the worst thing you ever did to me. you let me learn what love really is. not what we had. you had control and dominance, i had nothing. but now, i have the knowledge. because i will never ever let any man make me feel anything less than the woman i am. i will never let them make my insecurities their manipulation. i know who i am. i am strong. i am fucking beautiful. i am so intelligent. and i am loved by so many people but i dont care if im loved by you. PS ur girlfriend is a BTEC version of me everyone can see that.

you made me hate myself. and even after everything you did and how horrible you treated me, i’m still waiting for your text back. i just started to feel okay without you in my life and today you sent me back to square one.

I have fully forgiven you. I’m sorry I was awful when my mental was bad. I still love you but I’m afraid of hurting you. I know we are better apart.You have my number if you want to talk ever.

lie to me, say you still love me even if you don’t. you said you didn’t and i need you to take it back, i’m begging you to.

I've never been in love since I fell in love with you, even though you never loved me back. I think I'll never get over it.

the way you look at me makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world and I’ve never felt like that so thankyou, m.

Thank you for loving me enough to last lifetimes. I’m sorry. The pattern says we are past life lovers. I still wished it was this life.

you treated me as if i would always be around. even our friendship was one sided. how many times were you there for me when i needed a friend? when have you ever asked me how im doing? i went out of my way to try and include you, which ended up being me witnessing you treat everyone else clearly better than me. “why is he so mean to you?” “why does he talk down on you?” all legitimately asked after seeing you interact with me. you cannot see it, but i finally do.

you treated me as if i would always be around. even our friendship was one sided. how many times were you there for me when i needed a friend? when have you ever asked me how im doing? i went out of my way to try and include you, which ended up being me witnessing you treat everyone else clearly better than me. “why is he so mean to you?” “why does he talk down on you?” all legitimately asked after seeing you interact with me. you cannot see it, but i finally do.

I love you. I miss you, but I'm glad you're happy. I'm happy that you've found your person and that you're visiting all the places with her that we always said we would go to. My heart aches but I'm happy as long as you're happy. Thank you for showing me what love was. If only things had worked out

how did we end up like this? i thought you would be in my life forever. thinking of you brings me pain. everyday feels like just yesterday i got to wake up next you each morning. your presence always so heavy. i don’t know how to fix me. i don’t know how to not think of you everyday. i can make myself cry thinking of you, that’s never happened before. i left before i got hurt more, but leaving hurt most.

I’m so sorry I seemed cold and distant I just wasn’t feeling good. I’m so grateful for everything you did for me and for getting me through the times which would have been so much harder without you. Please remember the good times too, I don’t want you to feel like it was a complete waste. No one makes me as happy as you did.

you’re my sunshine. i don’t know how i sleep without you or eat without you or laugh or smile without you my fucjing angel i miss you and it takes all my self restraint NOT to message you lmao,,, you broke my heart but you probably don’t care? i asked if he was lying when he said you didn’t care about me and you said he was but it didn’t seem that way on that day. i cant even look at your name without crying.