Unsent messages to JAKE

I still miss you. I look at my door hoping you'll walk in and hug me, I miss being in your arms so much, everyday hurts, I know it's been a while but it still feels like the day we said goodbye. I know this is selfish because I wouldn't want anyone to feel the pain I'm feeling but sometimes I hope you feel the same. I wish we stayed friends, I always wish on the trick you taught me (11) that you'll text me and everything will be okay. I love you.

I'm in love with the romanticized version of you in my head, I don't want to realize that your not the boy I want.

You were everything to me. and you told me you felt the same. but i’m too much, which i can understand. but sometimes i wish i was just enough for you.

Im so sorry for everything. Its been 3 years and I missy you so much. If I could change what happened, I would've.

You’ve changed me for the better and I love you so much
You’re love scares the fuck out of me tho
Cause I know if something happens, this is gonna hurt
I don’t wanna think about how bad
I love you with all my heart ❤️
Please don’t break it

i go through waves of missing you. The way i felt around you, i've never experienced before you or any guy after you. sometimes you act like you miss me but i know it's a lie. You're just trying to get me wrapped around your finger again. Thank you for making me realize my worth.

I wish you would have listened when I said no. I’m now suffering because of you. I could never forgive you even if I tried

i miss out quarintine 3 am conversations. why did you stop them? they good me through quarintine so thank u but i miss them

you dont know how much i wanted you and then I let my walls down and you then broke me. you used me for pics then told me you had no intentions with me after me sending you pics. and I cant believe I let someone like you do that to me. i hate myself not just because of you because you cried over me because I rejected you in the first place and then I let you into my life just to destroy it. but I hope you find someone you truly love because you deserve it way more than me.

i really just want to meet your parents i want to meet your whole family. i want to be apart of it. i want you.

If i would’ve known you liked her as much as i did to you i wouldn’t have waisted my education away talking and calling you for hours.

I wish we hadn’t fizzled. I wish u meant it when u said u loved me. I wish you had wanted me more bc I still love you and would die for u. I rlly thought u were my twin flame I thought we would get married and have kids

I was always terrified you would start to see me the same way I saw myself. You promised you thought I was beautiful. Well, now you see me the way I see myself.

I still listen to the songs we listened to from when we were together. They give me this bittersweet feeling. It reminds me of everything we went through together, then I remember you're not here anymore.

i will never be convinced that we weren’t soulmates and i wonder if it would change anything if u knew how much i love u

i will never be convinced that we weren’t soulmates and i wonder if it would change anything if u knew how much i love u

right now all i feel is hate for you
you ruined things before they even became anything, not like they would anyway.
you can’t keep secrets for shit and you’ve ruined this for yourself

I’m so sorry for being such a bad friend to you this year. I should’ve known better. I hate the person I’ve become.

I made this your favorite color. I love you always and forever. im sorry we ended the way we did. forever mine bubs

Did you feel the mutual understanding that we were in love, even when we didn’t say it anymore? Or was that really just me?

wish we still facetimed. wish id gotten a chance. wish it was back to how it was in august. everything was better in august

i’m glad we parted ways giving me the opportunity to be loved more than you loved me. which will never happen i’m still hopeful though.

idk if i can be mad at you.i still love you alot, i just wish we could be atleast friends again, you're not the same with them, its like you change into a completely different person. i just really fucking miss you. text me?

i love you with all my heart and i cant stop thinking ab you. i wish things could go back to how they were im sorry, i love you sm it hurts

you're fucking selfish if you think I'm gonna be at your every call as soon as you drink a little. I'm not your toy :)

why did you have to hurt me so bad? you were my first boyfriend. i thought that our relationship was how it was supposed to be. you're the reason I have trust issues. you're the reason why i'm scared of loving my boyfriend too much. i don't want him to leave like you did.

i have a huge crush on you. you only see me as a friend, and we’ve never even met in person, but a text from you is everlasting.

i have a huge crush on you. you only see me as a friend, and we’ve never even met in person, but a text from you is everlasting.

I want to hate him so much. I hate that I'm attracted to him. I hate how much I romanticize. I like the IDEA of him. I've not even scratched the surface of his personality. And yet I still find myself craving his validation.

maybe one of these days i’ll heal properly and i can send you a message directly instead of putting it on here. but god jake sometimes i miss you so much it hurts

i love you and i don't want you to ever doubt that.
i wish you weren't so insecure. you are so funny and attractive and caring. i also wish you would open up to me. i know you are hurting and i want to help.

and im glad u woke up. ill never forget how relieved i was to hear that you were okay. or the pain i felt when i thought about what couldve happened. i love you jake and i want to be with you forever. you makeme so happy. i dont need anyone else. i want you forver and always lol

i linger on all the things you said to me, i miss you sometimes but it’s easier without you. i’m glad she makes you happy

i’m pretty sure i’m in love with you? i don’t know. but you make me feel something no one else is able to do.

I didn't realize what I had until I lost you. You were my motivation, my everything. I truly didn't believe I was gonna fall in love until I talked to you. But you told me you loved me Jake, then you were gone. I allowed myself to fall for you because you were anything and everything I wanted. You made me believe that there was more than darkness in the future. And then you left, and you did it so easily. You helped me at my lowest until I was okay, and then you moved on and I dropped back down.

we let ourselves believe that there are happy endings for people like us, that hope is what tore us apart

i never actually thought we would come as far as we did. i thought we were just going to be one of those 8th grade relationships. until that one day. until that one day when something clicked. it will be 2 years in january. i really dont understand where we went wrong. i think it was the fact that you werent as willing to fix us as i was. and thats something that comes with maturing. i do really believe were meant for each other. maybe just not right now. i really do love you. everyday youre on my mind. im always reminded of you. im happy to have you with me in some way. i love you forever.

When we broke up you said that you weren’t always a good boyfriend, but I can’t remember any time where I felt loved by you.

i hope you get to heal, and when that time comes just know that i will still be here waiting for you

damn, i overthink everything and im sorry i just cant afford to lose you again i love you. please dont go please

I love you. I think I am in love with you. I don't know. But I do know I have never felt this way before. I'm scared to be in love with love you because even though I know you love me, you aren’t in love with me. You are in love with your ex. very cool. I hope she's worth losing me for because you are losing me but I will never tell you that because I'm too scared to let you go. dammit. I am in love with you.

i know we are meant to be just maybe in a different life. i keep pulling but you always find a way to push back.

all i can think about is when you put my leg on your thigh in math last year. we had such good memories.

You're so fucking selfish. I know we all have our shit to deal with, but you're not up on a pedestal. Fuck you

i can feel myself slowly falling for you. when your name pops up on my phone i instantly smile. when i see you my day gets better, but when you leave, that is going to hurt. how it will hurt like hell.

This is from Maia, You’re so loved. Ik u don’t think it, but I wanna be able to show u it. I can’t fix you but I can be there for you when you need me. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I wanna do the same. Even if we don’t work out I still want to be friends, Cos ur genuinely an amazing person and I want to be there with you when you finally realise that. I’m patient and I can wait for that moment but until then I wanna help you :) just tell me what you need. Please try remember that you’re loved, atleast by me anyways.

I left part of my soul with you. Thankyou for the lesson, I know my worth now and I hope we can forgive each other.

Hey. I have been terrified to say this for months because you are my best friend, but I need you to know I like you more than that.

you always liked red on me best. i never told you but i was falling. still am 7 months later. i j miss you

I decided to not initiate plans or texting. We haven’t talked in two weeks and you still say we are dating.

you let me pour my heart out to you at 3 in the morning in your car. you asked "why me?" and you listened to me tell you its your smile, your laugh, the way you look at me, and how you came into my life at the perfect time, pulling me out of a dark place I didn't think I would escape. then you left. how could you listen to the way I talk about you and still decide you wanted to give up?