Unsent messages to JAKE

I wish you loved me like I love you. You were my favourite human, I never thought someone could be so perfect. But it’s okay :) maybe in another lifetime

it's been a year since we broke up, since we last spoke. i still think about you now and then, but i needed to let you go. i wonder if you still think about me, if you regret not treating me right.. I wish we could talk just once more so i can thank you for all the good memories we shared, reflect back on my mistakes bc i wasn't perfect either.. to show you how much i have matured and grown from the lessons i learned. i hope she makes you happy jacob and i hope she's enough for you, since I wasn't. 1 yr later and i am still single, theres been no one since you. maybe, in the future, we will meet again and catch up.. share some laughs and stories.. until then, this is goodbye. i wish you all the best.
- your first love, amanda

We’d be good together but for some reason I can’t let myself be happy I don’t know why. I know you love me. From you know who

I’m sorry my feelings for you put us both in an uncomfortable spot. I was lost and sad and didn’t make a good choice when it came to us. I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do anymore because I love you and I can’t even tell you. I ruined everything before it got good.

Sometimes I think the universe already decided we will be together, even if we haven’t made it there yet

i wish you wouldn’t have let me hold on for so long. you should’ve let me go when you stopped loving me

i wish you wouldn’t have let me hold on for so long. you should’ve let me go when you stopped loving me

I’ve decided to officially let you go. I waited long enough for you to try and be in my life and you’ve made it obvious you don’t mind living without me. Goodbye my past love

you said it yourself, after everything you have done there was no way i should've forgiven you but here we are

I think of you everyday. I’m starting to think we are meant to be. Could you really be my soulmate? I’m trusting the universe to bring you back.

I no longer remember what you voice sounds like and I can’t quite remember what you wanted to name your first son. I can’t remember the last time you said I love you and I can barely picture the last weekend we were together. I do remember your favorite colors and that damn slow smile of yours, and I can perfectly recall the first night I met you, when we stayed up till morning and watched the sunrise on the beach. I remember your last song recommendation. I remember the when we kissed in the rain and the long endless car rides and the night we watched the stars in the field. I hope I forget these things soon. It has been way too long for me to still be hung up you, but I thought you were the one. I so desperately hope you find the happiness you were searching for.

i love you so much. im starving myself so you will love me. actually so you will worry about me. i miss u. i hope we can go back to school soon because we have a true connection

I've gotten to thw point to where I'm finally over you, I'm free, and you are blocked in every way of my life and it will stay that way.

earlier i saw you for the first time in almost two years and it made me realize i’m still just as in love with you as the day we first met. i just wish you still felt the same.

I was so in love with you until you treated me like just another one of those girls you'll choose to
"fuck over"

I hope you aren't going to turn out to be "the one that got away." You told me this would be hard, but I don't know how much I can fight. It hurts so much when you tell me the shit you do.

you weren’t my first love but you were my bestfriend and i wish i could hate u but i don’t but ur a sick cunt for ever touching me so this is a fuck you from me

yea we kissed and you were sweet and then you ghosted me after saying I dont like you and that we could be friends. you were just a little weird. im sorry. youre also so awkward.

I still think of you, not because you were my first love, but because you were my first real heartbreak.

It’s 3 am and you are on my mind. The thing is I stay up trying to figure out where we all went wrong. And I guess it’s simply because I can’t change the past, no matter how badly I wanted you in my future. Thank you for teaching me a life lesson. Forgive, Forget, Move on.

I'm sorry for holding you to such high standards, ones you might not ever understand. I loved you and I will continue to love you from afar. I know you think I left but I'm only a phone call away always.

i’m so glad we became friends. ik ur never gonna see this because jake is a common ass name but i’m genuinely so glad you’re in my life.

When I realised you weren’t who I imagined you to be... it was such a weight off & I knew I could finally let go.

You two look good together. I mean it. I’m happy you are happy. Sincerely from the bottom of my heart I hope we never cross paths again, but that yours be exactly everything you want. I love you alwaysssss

I feel like you’re so out of my league. We have so much in common and I feel like I can see this relationship going somewhere, I just wish you would express your feelings more to me. I rly like you and I just don’t want you to say “nvm, I don’t like you” for the 2nd time. I want to hang out with you and get so much closer, I just don’t know how to bring it up.

i know you never liked me and that's fine, but i can't seem to get over you. it's pathetic i know, but i don't know how to stop. i know you're happy with her and i'm glad we're still friends.
all the love,
...

I don't have a single night I don't think of you and regret that I didn't say anything sooner. You are just so perfect in every way I need. It's been strange falling for you, I don't even know if you have ever liked me back. But that doesn't matter now, as you're much happier with someone else and not even remembering I exist. So , have a good one. Make your romance with her as great as it ever could be and never waste a single moment of it.

thank you for everything you did. i hope you know that ill always love you. but as seeing that you are now happier with her i understand why you cut me off. i know that you probably dont care but i really do miss you :/

im so sorry. i would do anything to talk to you but i know you dont want anything to do with me. i have come to the conclusion you have moved on and as much as it pains me i have to accept it. i will always be open to talking to you again, and part of me hopes you take up that offer but i doubt you would remember any of my socials. i love you and i hope life treats you well.

i don't feel like myself around you but you're the only person i have. i do love you, i just wish i didn't.

i hate that our story ended but you weren’t good for me. i miss you but i need to let go of my claim on you, for good.

I'm sorry. for everything. I miss you so much. Sometimes late at night I lay in bed and think about you. I don't even miss you romantically. I just miss our friendship. You always knew how to make me laugh. I know how you struggle and I wish I could still be there to support you. Maybe in the next life.

i chose red because it's the colour of your car. even though i know your favourite colour is lilac. i like the way your eyes crinkle and you bend over when you laugh hard. i like your green eyes and your big smile. i like how laid back you are and how you don't get annoyed easily. i like how you're everything i'm not in a good way the best way but also somehow that we're so similar. i like that i've picked up some of your mannerisms. it makes me feel closer to you. you make me happy when i'm with you. i love you jake :)

I should have known and i’m so sorry. but it’s too late for apologies and it still hurts to see the pain in your eyes as you force yourself to laugh at my jokes.

Fuck you. Fuck you for coming home and messing with my feelings for your own pleasure. I deserve better.

i will always have a soft spot for you. you changed me in so many ways, and i am forever grateful for you.

i hate you. you were a terrible person and an even shittier bf. what u did was wrong and u can’t even apologize.

you didn’t hurt me as much as you think you did. i know it sucks hearing that but you’ll never find someone like me again

you're so fucking difficult to talk to. you used to be infatuated now i have to play stupid petty games i should block you but i cant bring myself to lose the only person who shows interest in me these days

i thought we matched. maybe that's why we burnt out. now i've come to realise that your flame can roar & mine merely flickers.

I miss you. I hate that I hurt you and wish I did better. I couldn't imagine what a lonely life I'd live without you. I still love you and always have.

I told you how I felt... you felt the same. But somehow we didnt end up together. The conversation ended right then and there. I wanted to text you but I thought you wouldnt care. Now weve lost touch and im so mad at myself. Its my fualt. It always is...

whenever i see you, you are a 14 year old boy with a smile and i’m a 13 year old girl who got butterflies over every accidental touch.

something about you gave me thrill, the long night calls and the songs you wrote about me. you made me feel something I would go back to if I had the chance, I'm sorry I never said I loved u.

I miss you more than words can describe. I miss your touch and the way your lips felt on mine. I miss seeing your smile and your name on my phone But most of all I miss the way you made me feel. I miss the way you made my heart skip a beat. You said I was yours forever, but I guess you didn't mean it

i’m sorry i we never good enough for you. i’m sorry i don’t look like her. I miss you so so much but you will never want me again. i’m sorry for being hard work with my mental health. i hope one day you realise that you meant the world to me and i would never do anything to hurt you :( thank you for getting me through half the stuff you did. i really wouldn’t be here today if i wasn’t for you. I hope your happy

i will love you always i wish i could see you one more time before you leave but i know it’s over now i’m just glad you’re happy that’s all i’ve ever wanted i hope you’ve found your peace

maybe if you had just forgiven me and let me speak we wouldn't be here. why'd you tell everyone what you think of me after that?

I get that you found me to invested in the relationship. But to only use me for your personal pleasure was a huge dick move. You fucking sexually assaulted me you complete and utter asshole. Ruined my life. Fuck. You.