You pushed me to my breaking point without knowing it and I realised that I don’t need you as much as I thought. I wish you the best :)

i really like you but idk how to tell you because your the type of person to just like the thought of someone liking you and you tell them u dont ike them back but youll keep on leading hem on. your fit as and i dunno what to say but sometimes i really think your a dickhead and sooo fucking annoying but other times im like your such a sweet boy. i dunno how many girls youve had but i know its alot. i know ur friends like me espciay dan jack hes just insecure. and i know deep down your insecure but u talk to soo many girls that its boosts your ego but dont get me wrong im a hypocrite because i contribute into boosting your ego. i think that ur a nice gentlemen and that u kinda ike the idea of me liking you but i really wanna be friends because i feel like itll be fun but i cant say that cos thats weird. you give me butterflies wth no one has ever given me butterflies that wird ughhhhhhh anyways youll never recieve this so bye for now if i change my mind

I hate that I still think of you as more than a friend. I hate that I cant figure you out. I just wish that you would open up to me, tell me about the stuff you don't want to think about, trust me Hamish. I will always be here for you, I just want to figure you out, you being the skinny white boy that I didn't realise I fell in love with.

i dont know why i like you so much, u seem really nice and warm and understanding i just need to stop working so hard for you cause ill never be good enough.

i would tell u how i feel about u but im scared u say we are friends nothing more and that's what hurts.

I know you only stick around because I’m the only person who’s always available for you. And I hate that about me.

if im not thinking about you i'm thinking about nothing. is wear your manifesting me of something what the actual hell

i miss you man. it really fucking hurt when you read my love letter, where i poured my heart out to you, i POURED my SOUL into that shit. and all you said was It was a different time. it didnt have to be. still doesnt. i feel like once you push me away for good you'll miss me but i cant let go. it sucks. i love you.

i wish i could have been graceful about things. then you wouldnt hate me, you could forgive me. im a mess

you used to love me so hard. i wish it never changed. i wish i didnt have to beg you to show any affection anymore.

i’ve spent quite alot of time with you over the last year or so and i still cannot tell if you can actually stand me x
but i really enjoy ur company and ur genuinely one of my favourite people i’ve ever met. i’m really grateful to know you
i think that was poorly worded but it’s 12:41

i miss you ? why’d we end the friendship and i know you felt it too the eye contact the hugs ..hopefully we’re together in another lifetime

i miss you so much, more every day. part of me wishes i could say all these to you but i cant. i cant anymore

i miss calling you, i miss your morning voice and i miss texting you when i woke up. i miss you telling me about your day and a song you discovered and love and i miss your love. i miss you. i cant believe i messed up how i did and how its so easy for you not to text me when all i want all day is to talk to you its unbearable its truly unbearable and i have been trying but i cant keep my promise i cant and it hurts so bad. i want you i miss you so bad but youll never be back and thats okay. i keep thinking about how much could have been different if i hadnt had my head in my ass and deep down i know what i did was something i needed to do because i learned so fucking much from it about how truly truly awful i am and can be and that ill never do that again ever. ill never love after you, people say that part changes but i feel myself moving on and that part hasnt. i see you in everyone. i miss you.

it hurts so bad to miss you, i cant talk to anyone about it im literally talking to a WEBSITE that no one will ever see let alone you and its not like you would care anyways i dont think which is okay its all okay. i keep thinking about you finding someone else oh god it is all i think about. not all. a lot. i think about how i can get you back a lot too. and mixed in is the undying love i have for you, plus how unendurably, heartwrenching much i miss you. i dont want you to forget me ]: i dont want to forget you. i dont want to forget our love and how much i love you and parts of it is slipping away and i know thats the depression and its not my fault but christ almighty do i fucking hate it. ive been fucking trying to recreate memories with other people because of how bad it hurts to think that ill never be able to create new ones with you. it hurts. i hurt. watching fucking wes anderson movies with people sitting there pretending they are someone they arent, its awful. i miss you and i dont understand how you can go so long without texting me and how i am pathetic enough that i dont think ill ever get to the point of not reaching out or spewing my feelings to random people or my friends who dont care anymore but i just cant. i cant handle how bad it hurts ive never loved anyone this hard you had a part of me. you still have it and ill never get it back and i dont want it back because it belongs to you but you dont want it and that hurts the worst

i trusted you so much i told you i couldnt handle a breakup i trusted you with my body and with my soul and the parts of me no one knows, no one. not a soul and it hurts so bad that you were able to throw it out like that. you deserved so much more than me and i know that but for a while it felt so real, like i could pretend i was enough for a little bit. i hope you find someone new, as much as i want to die thinking about it you deserve to be loved. maybe my love wasnt enough or the style i love in was too much or too little or i never gave as much as i could but one day im sure someone will love you how you want, and ill be so happy for you. but i think if im around ill go catatonic. you deserve a girl who is pretty, and sweet, and nice on the inside too. someone who will bake you cookies and not act like its a cooking show and time herself and be all fucking weird and put an announcer voice on and annoy everyone in the house. someone who can drive around without blasting everyones ears out with how loud their music is, someone who doesnt throw it back to FUCKING CLASSICAL MUSIC someone who is actually funny someone who loves themself someone pretty someone smart. youll find her one day and she will be normal and she wont have cptsd and she wont have a fractured personality or depression or anxiety and she'll be able to give you everything you need. and ill be happy for you, but ill never stop missing you

black isnt even the color i associate with you what i didnt even read the instructions. i dont know what i associate, like.. my favorite colors. i associate everything i love with you, i always have. you made me love music more than i ever did before, love playing it. you gave me so much life and its slipping away again back into how it was and it hurts so bad i miss you so much i wish i could text you and ask you stupid questions again and i wish you would send me dumb ass dax flame videos or whatever and you'd laugh that really hearty laugh that i really love when you laugh so hard you lose your breath i love it so much so fucking much it is the best. its the best. id do anything to get you back. anything

i wish i could say sorry again for how i acted and when i would say you hated me and shit but its how i felt and i know you didnt but im so fucking delicate i shouldnt have gotten in a relationship anyways because i know ihave to be babied because i overthink and i overthink and i overthink and i get so scared and worried and the abandonment issues come out but honestly everyone ive ever had has abandoned me so at this point i dont think its like in my head abandonment issues like its just what happens. i miss you i dont even care that you wont date me again like obvjiously thats one of the things i care about the very most and it hurts more than i can handle but like i love you and i miss you and where are you and i watch your snapscore go up lol like a freak and i sit there and wonder how you can talk to other people and dont talk to me anymore. did you care at all? you did, you had to of cared i dont know how anyone oculd fake it but how are you moving on. im still your girl

i actually think writing these here are good because while i know no one is going to see them im still getting all this shit out there so its like a cry for help except less dramatic and im not worrying anyone. i wish i could tell you a bunch of dumb shit. i still write you love letters, always have, always will. about everything i love about you like how you speak and your voice and so so much i could go on forever and trust me i do, i have a journal where i jsut write about you. i have this weird fantasy where i meet you and you decide you like me and then i can show you it and like. i dont know. prove that even when we were apart i loved you more than life and never stopped, i dont know it doesnt make sense i just want to be able to show you how much i love you and i dont think ill ever be able to, especially now. i miss you so goddamn bad. so bad. i hopeyoure doing okay i think about it all the time i wonder if you hear my name and your heart sinks or if you hear it and smile. i wonder if you need to talk to someone and you keep it in like you do or you let it out like you need to, i wonder if people ask you whats wrongyou tell them or if anyone asks at all. i miss you. i miss making sure you were okay even though i couldnt do much i just made it worse and you would leave the conversation anyways but i miss showing you that i cared, that someone cared truly with their whole heart because i did. i care so much i still do. always. i wish i could tell you that im always here for you. i leave my ringer on every night for you, volume 100. i dont even know if i would wake up but i do it just in case. i love you, and i miss you. ill always be here for you, even if i have to beg you to stay. if you come back. i know you'll be okay. you'll always be my pumpkin, my teddy bear, my love. i can never love someone how i love you. i miss you so much. so much. i hope youre okay, whatever youre doing, i want you to be happy. ill take all the sadness in the world if it meant you could be happy

i feel guilty moving on i guess, because it just seems treacherous and im losing myself in the process when i had just found myself. ill be okay. so will you. the idea of us living seperate lives is so painful like god when you were talking about going to school in edin ding dong or wahtever i let out this like guttaral sob that i could never recreate because youre just. planning without me and like what if you go there and im in melbourne and just fuck man. please dont fall in love with someone else. please dont have anyone else

i kind of wish i could delete these because that was so dramatic and i was just like in a moment and im coming out of it now and like. im trying to move on but i miss you so bad and i wish i didnt have to, im only doing it because i need to put my walls back up i think and stop letting anyone in. but ill always let you in. my darling. we will both be okay. ill never forget you, and i hope you never forget me. i hope youll talk to me again. i love you. i miss you so much.

i wish i could explain my jealously to you like yeah when we were together i def had my moments but i think that was mostly specifically with grace because she tried to get with you before lol and like idk it was just kinda scary because you could have decided at any point shes better because shes prettier and funnier and tinier. but now that we arent together its so much scarier because you can get with anyone. i didnt really care about like other girls when we were together because i trusted you obviously and it just made me more jealous that i couldnt be there too, not that you were talking to others but now its a little bit of both because you have no reason to not date them. you single. go party get drunk yay yay

i remember exactly how i felt when you said you loved me for the first time, and how your voice got soft and how sweet you were. i remember all the redacted shit and how much it hurt to see you and grace hanging out before i told you i wanted you to be mine. i feel it all so much. i feel so much. i wish you would come back

even now i smile when i think about you, you still make me happy and you still make me want to be alive and youre not here. the love i have for you is keeping me going, it always was because if i die theres a chance you will be sad and icant make you sad. so i gotta keep going. you made me so happy. i had never been happier in my whole life. i miss you. i miss calling. you make me the happiest person ever. i felt like i was the sun with you. i lvoe you

i hope im not another ex to you. i hope im not like her. i always tried my best to love you. i still do

i almost hate how graceful and silent youre being about it i want to scream and cry and hurt with someone. i want to feel cared about

i hope you're sleeping enough, and eating enough. im sorry i love like this, it would be too much for anyone. i love like my heart is on fire ]: because it is. was aflame for you. still am. miss you more every minute

you're so beautiful. i hate that you're going through a tough time ]: i love you, i miss you. i hope you'll come back. when you're ready

I think of you every time the sun warms my back and a flower smells sweet and the moon is round and yellow

i remember the first day i met you, my heart would not slow down at all. i couldn’t speak and i couldn’t stop sweating. nothing has changed. i love you so much. we always have a laugh but you’re so understanding and kind and compassionate. i imagine what it’s like to date you allll the time. i know you have a girlfriend and i would never ever disrespect that but damn i still feel the same about you as i did when i first met you.

i literally am jus waiting to not date anyone else for the rest of my life because i love u that much

Sometimes I worry that one day you’ll think of me in the same way I think of myself. I can’t lose you again, it hurts too much.

you cheated on multiple people with me. you hurt me just as much as you hurt those other girls. deep down inside I know that I love you even though I've never been your girlfriend or even a label but I love you.

you left again. i wasn't surpised, but it hurts as much as when you did the first time. i dont care that you left, i care that you do it so easily. i hope you feel better without me around. i miss you. i love you. it could go back to how it was. it will. you'll be able to see that one day. you'll be able to push past whatever is holding you back from acting how you did. love you, talk soon. mwuah

i don't think i'll ever stop loving you. i hope you can realize that not everyone hates you and you are lovable. you deserve to be happy. you deserved me. i wish you could have seen that. sometimes i wonder if the insecurity wasnt part of it would things have been different, but i try not to think about it too hard. i dont understand how you can leave me on opened and seen and not text. it makes me feel pathetic. i'm not, im just caring. but still. i hope youre doing okay. i really fucking love you. like. a lot. like it hurts how much i love you. i love you a shit ton. dont leave me like this

In another life huh? Although you were never mine, losing you broke my heart. I never understood why talked to me. I was a silly girl with a crush that you knew about, but you were so kind. I'll wait for you, ya know. I know it's silly but you'r brown eyes bro and charm are just one of a kind. Also, wear your seatbelt. I need you here, the world needs you here.

I would have liked to go to europe with you

I just wish we could've communicated more yk, maybe another lifetime, maybe...

i feel so used, why did you change your mind. things were so good and you threw them away

I don't think I ever really loved you, we should have stayed as just friends, that was my fault

I miss how we used to be but you still hurt me

I love you with all my heart

I am forever haunted by the disrespect and hurt you caused me.

I’m feeling hopeful about us…

im in love with you but i’ll never tell you

i really loved you, but i think i pushed you away because im scared

i still want it to work. i can wait for you, i promise to do better. I know i can do better.

I can’t imagine ever not loving you

I hope we find eachother in the future again. I miss you so much. I regret leaving my bestfreind

Do you ever think about her?