Unsent messages to GABE

My dad always plays “Gravity” from John Mayer in the car when I’m with him. He thinks it’s mine and his song, but I played it so much in the car with him because you recommended it to me when I was in my low and truly believed you were my soulmate. So now I can’t even listen to it without crying because you aren’t in my life anymore. You’re definitely a jerk. Goodbye Gabriel .

I never told you I loved you, but I wish I did. I wish you would’ve stayed we would’ve been so happy right now.

You’re the reason I’m afraid of being intimate again. “You took my soul and wiped it clean.” Miss you everyday.

gabe. I loved you more than anyone. More than myself, and will always love you more than anyone. I can’t even describe how much I adore you. And I will always wish you the best. Always.

yeah its me. ur never gonna read this but i'm still gonna write this. ik what we had was just a lame highschool talking experience but u asked me to date u. u said "i rlly like you will u be my gf?" u know who has said that before? no one. so when it wasn't u who acc sent it, it hurt. what hurts now, a year later, is the fact that we haven't talked. not even a real sentence. just thought you should know that i am better than what you did. next time try not to let a crazy bitch read our messages. love you none

you're not my first love, but i don't know how to say these things.
i'm not good for you. i can't give you what you want, i've never been able to. it's past time you let go. thank you for all you've done.

I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go. I thought I was going to find somebody else one of these days but I can’t. It’s always been you.

your negligence will always be your worst trait, yet it’s so true to your character. i miss loving you.

i know it’s been a year now and we’ve both moved on. but sometimes i still think about what our future would look like.

u were my first love. i still love u. if u told me u wanted me rn, i'd drop everything. it sucked to find out you had a gf the whole 3-4 ish months we were talking. i wish things had been different. im still here for you. im sorry i blocked you a few times. im angry at myself for comforting you about the breakup with the girl. i hope youre doing well. i miss you. i love you, no matter how bad for me you may be.

Im not over you because I dont like you anymore, im over you because Ive realized that youre never going to want me like i want you

I wish we could at least be friends. you were the first person to make me feel alive. I'll always love you no matter what and I really hope you're happy. ehhhh

I believe you probably hate me, but I just wanted to say I love you and I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I may seem like that jealous, phsyco bitch, but in reality its because I don't want her to hurt you. I love your smile so much, I love how goofy you are, I love your personality and most of all I miss you, but your with her now. I love you gabe. I hope your happy and she treats you well

HI!! i doubt u’ll even look at this, but if u do- please know how much i appreciate u & care for u. thank u for being goofy with me & talking into the night about real life stuff. ur one of the most genuine & amazing people i’ve ever met, and i’m praying that you realize how dope u really are. can’t wait to watch the stars with u. thank u for everything, i mean it from the bottom of my heart

I wouldn’t change anything I did for you. I’d do it all over again. No matter how much suffering I went through to be with you. I would still be yours all over again. That’s why I needed you to stay gone when you left me. Because I knew that if you asked me to come back I would. I would still. I would give up everything.
I loved you so much more than I love myself.

theres so much i want to say to you, i guess ill start off with...why? whyd you leave? i asked if i did something wrong and you said no. so what was it? did you lose feelings for me? were you going through something that i didnt know about? i love you...i have hope that you will come back. i need you bro. im so truly sorry if i did something wrong. you were my bestfriend and my lover. its been 42 days since we last talked. I remember 42 days ago so clearly bc it was halloween, i cried all night knowing you were leaving me. i felt like i was bothering you. if i was, im sorry. i miss you.

im ending it tonight and you don't even know. i'm sorry. you know we can't ever move on without breaking the cycle.

to the boy who broke my heart,
it took me so long to stop looking for answers to all the questions you left me with. I have stopped looking for justifications. I have stopped giving excuses to all the hurt you gave me. you left without a sign and it hurt so much that i began to question my love for you. i used to question my existence and if i would be enough for anyone after you. It took me so many troubled nights, fake smiles, tears, anger, and days filled with anxiety to get over this. You broke me and we both know i didn’t deserve any of this.
I forgive you for all the broken promises, i forgive you for all the sad days i spent cursing my existence- not because what you did was justifiable. but because i deserve peace. Hatred is just another way of holding on and i’m tired of having any feelings toward you. you deserve to be happy and i deserve more. it hurts everytime i remember what you made me go through but it hurts more to let myself burn in this hatred. i forgive you because i deserve peace. i deserve to be free from your haunting memories.
You didn’t know how to love someone who would give the world to you in a heartbeat. you didn’t know how to keep someone who loved you with every passing second. and i don’t blame you for the things you did. you and i were not meant to be and i wish i realized this earlier. you will never be sorry for the mistakes you made, you’ll never be on your knees to apologize for the hurt you gave me but i forgive you, because you don’t belong here anymore and i don’t want to hold on to you anymore.
I should hate you for what you did to me but i wouldn’t wish that on anyone else. i forgive you for trying to silence my voice, i broke my own heart trying to heal yours and i owe myself an apology for that. I hope you’re happy. I hope you find peace. I have decided to let go of the past because i deserve to heal and be happy again. my heart deserves to be breathe again for that i must free myself from all your stinging memories and all the hurt you gave me. I forgive you, because i deserve nothing but peace.

so you may already know this but I had the biggest crush on you when we were younger. you made me feel like no one else ever had and you were hard to forget about.

i wish i had never moved, i know we’d still be together and we’d still be the couple everyone envied, ppl still tell me no one had rly seen a duo as in love as we were, but i did move, and now everything’s a mess but i’d rather try and fix the pieces with u then start again with someone new, i’m still not sure you rly want me but i’ll take the risk, i do wish i’d stop using this as a personal diary but it helps? cheers to another break! maybe after this one you’ll give me a second chance :)

almost a year later and i still cant stop thinking ab you ... i feel like im in love with the idea of you more than you but either way , ur the one on my mind 24/7 and i really wish we had at least ended it on good terms..

i hate how you made me feel worthless for so long, but begged me to stay with you so you wouldn’t be alone.

you broke me. the way you didn’t trust me made me feel like the worst person on this planet. i wish you weren’t so toxic but i still wish you the best in life. just don’t ever come back.

i wish i was brave enough to tell you how i felt. my heart hurts whenever i see you because i know you’ll never feel the same way about me.

i love ya all those random texts..random check ins all the memories but now thats all i have and it hurts

sometimes i worry you only stuck around bc of my body, and part of me wants to stop giving you so much when you don’t even wanna be together, but the other part of me would rather disrespect myself then risk you leaving... some nights loving you is really hard g

I still miss the way I would light up when I walked into second period and saw you sitting next to Dre. I miss the way you'd call me baby when I was getting tired and falling asleep. I miss when we would fall asleep on ft, you'd gently wake me up and tell me that you had to go to football practice. I miss the way you'd tell me how much you loved me and wanted to see me. What I don't miss, is the way you slowly lost interest in me and made me force you to tell me. I want you to come back and tell me how much you genuinely want me. I'd do anything to feel the same way I felt when you first called me. I miss the way you would tell me how pretty I looked and how much you loved to see me in your hoodie. and when I wore it, how you loved the way it smelt like me. I miss you using my lingo and when I would jokingly tell you to stop using my lingo, your response would always be "i think you mean OUR lingo". I miss our lingo.

i never thought i would miss you this much. i just want everything to go back to how it was when we were together

hey bae
I literally want to get married with you I'm so serious it's not funny
I constantly think about how I should've chose you instead of gc like I fucking cry about it its crazy I look for u at lunch just to fucking see u and what ur wearing that day ur gorgeous and as much as iwant ur babies
i literally cannot tell u how i feel
first of all i hate relationships i mean i only say that bc I'm scared to intimacy lol but i would be a HORRIBLE significant other u deserve better u precious u deserve the everything u want in the world and i cant give u that my love so il just have to deal w loving u from afar lol

you hurt me but i still love u unfortunately. i was so happy with u, sorry for being too clingy. i always listen to our song lmao. take care

i miss playing minecraft with you. i miss listening to music with you in spanish. i miss you snapping me pictures of your face. i miss you texting me. i miss that you prefer her over me. i love you so much. i never stopped loving you. please talk to me.

I’m addicted to you, I love how much you make me smile and laugh. I wish we could be together. I’ll love you always.

u told me u liked let me down by oliver tree and your fav color was blue. i wish u showed that u liked me.

Losing you was like losing a person. It left me empty and hurting and I didn't think I was going to recover. But I did. Thanks for the life lesson

you care to much stop stressing over everything and just take some time you will be loved some day trust me

the sunset is gorgeous here at the dock wish u could watch it with me, i’m missing u a little extra today

I will never ever ever forgive you for what you did. I hope you feel so guilty for what you did and all the pain you put me through. You did that one malicious act for what? To get revenge on what? I did my best for you and this is how you repay me? I wish i never f*cking met you or even trusted you. After what you did i now see the type of person you are. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree on that one. Just stay away from me and don’t try to come back and apologize because i will never forgive you. Fucken loser.

I hate you so much right now but I care and like you so much and it sucks because u give me so many mixed emotions and it's pissing me off so much I wish you would just tell me why and what I mean to you so I know how to act around you and what to feel towards you

maybe you were my soulmate and maybe we were just too young to understand what that meant,,maybe it was the right person wrong time or maybe it wasn’t meant to work out for a reason

i hope you’re okay. i know what you did was hard. you did the hard thing. but it doesn’t make me love you any less.

i would do everything again, the pain, the heartbreak, the tears, if it meant i had you. thank you for the best season of my life.

i don’t want to let go of you. i love you so much and always will. and i’m proud of you. thank you for everything

I hope you find someone who deserves you. However even if you stay forever, that person will never be me

why do you still say you love me two years after we met. after we’ve both loved other people? is the love that strong or are you a liar. i’ll never understand when you tell me the way you feel about me. why?. what is so different about me, i don’t understand.

I want to talk to you again, become friends again, and maybe start over again from the start. Yet the saddest part is that I know you'll never forgive me and that you'll never hit that unblock button. I want to let you know I still wear your hoodie that I haven't returned and I wonder if you still look at mine and think about me time to time. I miss your weird ass but I know you don't. And that's okay. I wish you the best... maybe one day I can talk to you everyday like we used to and catch up on our lives, but I guess these past days are just not one day.

I think for a while I thought I loved you but now I think I was in love with the fact that you just treated me like a actual person now that I've realized my worth and that people do want me I barley even think about you anymore. I hope you her are happy, I'm genuine, you're perfect for each other - sincerely the girl you went to as a last choice

my whole life i craved perfection. i wasn’t expecting to find it. i’m sorry i ran away from you. i don’t know what i deserve

ur a fucking ass hole and you have no heart I hope u fucking die and the devil curses ur life because u can die and no one would give a shit about u because I know I would not u fucking piece of shit

i dont think you understand how much power you have over people. also, stop bashing my music taste else im gonna start listening to songs i made on garageband when i was 9 and tone deaf

sometimes i think we’re twin flames, then other times i think that could never be possible. maybe because we’ve both loved other people or we don’t love each other as much as we would like to admit. i know you say you love me, but i don’t think i’ll every fully believe you.