From: ABC
To: gabe
Date: December 9, 2020, 4:40 am
to the boy who broke my heart,
it took me so long to stop looking for answers to all the questions you left me with. I have stopped looking for justifications. I have stopped giving excuses to all the hurt you gave me. you left without a sign and it hurt so much that i began to question my love for you. i used to question my existence and if i would be enough for anyone after you. It took me so many troubled nights, fake smiles, tears, anger, and days filled with anxiety to get over this. You broke me and we both know i didn’t deserve any of this.
I forgive you for all the broken promises, i forgive you for all the sad days i spent cursing my existence- not because what you did was justifiable. but because i deserve peace. Hatred is just another way of holding on and i’m tired of having any feelings toward you. you deserve to be happy and i deserve more. it hurts everytime i remember what you made me go through but it hurts more to let myself burn in this hatred. i forgive you because i deserve peace. i deserve to be free from your haunting memories.
You didn’t know how to love someone who would give the world to you in a heartbeat. you didn’t know how to keep someone who loved you with every passing second. and i don’t blame you for the things you did. you and i were not meant to be and i wish i realized this earlier. you will never be sorry for the mistakes you made, you’ll never be on your knees to apologize for the hurt you gave me but i forgive you, because you don’t belong here anymore and i don’t want to hold on to you anymore.
I should hate you for what you did to me but i wouldn’t wish that on anyone else. i forgive you for trying to silence my voice, i broke my own heart trying to heal yours and i owe myself an apology for that. I hope you’re happy. I hope you find peace. I have decided to let go of the past because i deserve to heal and be happy again. my heart deserves to be breathe again for that i must free myself from all your stinging memories and all the hurt you gave me. I forgive you, because i deserve nothing but peace.