Unsent messages to SEAN

Hey sean. I miss having you as my best friend. I tired to move on and I could see myself comparing how we talked to how I talked to him. Turns out he was a huge jerk so there’s that. I just miss you dude. I miss laughing with you on FaceTime and hearing your mom tell you to do your chores ? but most importantly, I want to thank you. Thank you for being a great first boyfriend that encouraged in bad times and celebrated in good times. I’ll always love you

what happened to us lasting forever? sometimes i sit and remember all the times we had and i remember how fucking in love with you i was and you didnt even feel the same way. i dont love you anymore, but fuck you. you made me never want to love anyone ever again.

Jesus I don’t know where to start honestly.. I miss you a lot..you’re the only guy that made me feel happy and I could be myself around you I guess this is a goodbye my love... I just want to call u and express my feelings but I feel like you might push me away again I don’t want to come off crazy when I say certain things but you always told me I was beautiful and the best thing that ever happened to you we even planned our life after I finish high school next school year.? I love you so much but sadly things come to a end and lord knows i’m not going to continue to cry every night I have to move on with my life and get this bag and make my siblings happy..hopefully we can continue to be friends ? until then bye my love ?

I cant express the amount of love i had for you. The way you smiled and got comfortable with me makes me so mad that i didn’t do anything. I would date u if i liked me back no doubt abt that but u don’t so. I hope u do hockey well and i hope u smile everyday

i wish i could see you, but you left me down here. i wanted to know why you did what you did and how much it hurt for you to leave. must have been hard, huh. too bad i was too late to tell you how much i loved you and how much i cared.

Five months later and I still can't bring myself to throw out your things. I just want to see you one more time.

You pulled me out of a dark place, thank you. And thank you for being here for me through this year. I love you

i miss my best friend. i miss the boy i loved. i miss the person you convinced me you were. i don't think that person exists

hi, i think u liked me but i was too shy to talk to you. i think abt u a lot actually & i miss u, i wish u would contact me

My own immaturity has hurt you immensely in the past and I look back on it now and regret everything.

how did you let go of me so easily after so long, that's what hurt the most. i just don't get it. i don't feel anything anymore, i've let you go but it took me a while, how did you do it so fast after everything we've been through? i don't want you anymore but i don't want anyone else either, i'm completely numb to emotion towards people. i just want someone to make me feel again and you ruined that for me. i can't trust anyone because you made me feel unlovable and for that i hate you.

why did you text me the other day after so long, i hate to think that there's something you aren't telling me but i know that there is

the person i thought i knew for 2 years doesn’t seem to exist. i don’t understand how you could lie to me for so long

you were my best friend you helped me get through all my tough shit i don't know exactly what i did to make us separate but i would like to find out soon maybe

you’re not my first love, and i know i’m not yours, but i think this is the best place to put this. i would apologize for the fact that my feelings weren’t as deep as yours, but then i would be lying, because i can’t really be sorry for that. i am sorry that the truth came at the cost of your feelings though (and your ego). i don’t hate you or anything like that, but i think it would’ve turned out alright if you hadn’t created that image of me in your head. you were in love someone that didn’t really exist, and it all went wrong when your thoughts didn’t match up with reality. i wish you all the best, and i hope you find the love you think you need

u took my other half with u when u left. may your journey without me make you happier than i ever could.

I never told you the reason I broke up with you, you never asked. I was going to kill myself and I didn't want you to think it was your fault.

Remember when we snuck out and looked at the stars? You probably don't... but I think about it every day

i didn’t forget all of the good times we’ve shared. so many of my favorite silly memories growing up are with you. i will probably always care about you. i miss you.

i really thought we were worth it. your own mother wanted you to marry me. i’m always here if you need me. i love you (pumpkin)

i really thought we were worth it. your own mother wanted you to marry me. i’m always here if you need me. i love you (pumpkin)

i hope you could see how good i’m doing now. how much ive changed. how happy i am. im so happy without you.

the truth is, during our entire relationship i didn’t feel like i was a priority to you. even tho you said you loved me you would shut me out or just leave me waiting. so many times i was left alone wondering where you had gone. i never knew what you saw in me. i still don’t. in the end when you left, i was heartbroken but not surprised.

you like the idea of "us" more than you loved me. what's worse is that you don't know. but the worst thing would be that i dont know how to tell you

when you said your last goodbye i died a little bit inside

i lay in bed in tears all night

alone without you by my side

but if you loved me, why’d you leave me?

You were an asshole, whatever. Actually you were so detestable that after you cheated on me I started to realize how much of a loser you were. Also you're a ginger. So fuck you.

Im sorry for needing time for me, I wish that you didn’t take that as an opportunity to find someone new though. It hurts, but I understand. We said we would always be there.It was my fault for ending things, I just wish we stuck to our word. Love you always & more after that

You broke me. You won't stop trying to torture me even though it's been months. Leave me alone and let me live my life please.

why wasn’t i good enough to fight for? i fought for you every damn day. even when you hurt me, i still wanted you.

why did you cheat on me so much. You just used me and cheated on me but i believed that you loved me bc that’s what u said :/

I rly think my mind is playing tricks on me. We don’t talk anymore. Like at all. But...is it possible you are trying to reach out to me? I’m literally crazy for thinking this. There is no way. You stopped caring about me a looong time ago. I’ll just take this time to wish you well, Sean. I rly hope you’re doing well.

you were my first crush! and you left so soon, now I find that we're both athletes and I hope- pray- to see you again at the olympics :)

I really do love you and it hurts to know your drifting away , I think about you all the time but I try not to cry everyday.
You meant everything to me I want you to know and I will never stop loving you xxxx my seany boy

You are the love of my life and I'm so appreciative that I met you in this lifetime. I know in my heart that you want for us the same thing I want.

to be honest i forgive you for what you did and how everything went down and i still think about you sometimes and see you places sometimes but you fucked me up pretty bad i cant go into basements any more or where the shirt I wore on that day so one day i hope you felt the pain i felt from this because life has been too fair to you, it might seem evil but I want something just as bad to happen to you. thanks for nothing you asshole.

thank you for shattering me. you made me realize i can live without you. after a little over a year you threw it all away.

I hate that I still think what if? you led me on for half a year just to pick another girl. But what sucks is I let you lead me on. when I realized you didn't really care was also when I was most afraid to let you go. I can never hate you, I hate the way you made me feel. You were the person that whenever i saw a notification from you I would instantly smile. I miss having that person. I also miss your dog a lot :( I hope one day In the future we can talk again. I wish you only the best in life and miss you a lot.

You absolutely mesmerize me. That one night we were sitting in the middle of the street, I noticed that we were really close. And I felt really safe next to you. I’m catching feelings for you way too fast.

You’re the love of my life and the thought of you being with someone else breaks my heart but I’m too scared to tell you how I feel

Did she change everything about you? It’s almost as if she decided to make you hers and now she won’t ever let go. Is it possible there is even a small part of you that could still be mine?

i’m still in love with you. everything about you. i wish i could tell you that but i still have to see you everyday. i’m really happy we’re cool and have mutual respect. i know i said i moved on, but i haven’t. not even close. i’m making the decision to today though. i have to and i can’t look back anymore. here’s to new beginnings ?

The only one who ever made me feel safe yet still I was unable to bare my soul and tell you how I felt

Do you know how unfair it is to snap me first and then not answer my response? It that a way to make sure you stay in my head?

I am sorry for everytime i told you I wanted to stop living, we were both too young and even tho you fucking hurt me, I hope you're okay now

i wish we talked because you are such a huge part of me... too bad ur such a dick and too obsessed with her.

I keep finding myself write these, even though we both have new people. I miss you, and I wish I was enough for you back then. "If things were different" keeps repeating in my head after all this time.

I thought you were the one, but it turns out we’re not meant to be. If I could take it all back, you bet your ass I would.

I know it’s wrong of me but I wonder if you knew how much I really liked you? I miss you, far too much.

I sometimes wonder about what life would have been like if we didn’t lose what we had. Looking back I realize it was special. I thought we’d always be there for each other. And then it was gone. Do you ever miss us? I know you said you have regrets about how things ended up. I do too. I’m sorry we didn’t talk and make things better. I hope we get a chance some day.