Unsent messages to MYSELF

everyone tells you it’s not your fault, but if you weren’t as good as you were at skiing, he would’ve never thought to do the jump.

I just wish you didn't lie when you said i love you. I wish you stopped it. I wish you cared and I wish you didn't make me cry. I wish I didn't have to love you but I do. I still do. Make it stop, please. I can't do it if you do this. Don't hurt me don't touch me don't make me love you. Because it hurts. Your a drug I can't stop using. Please stop.

Things will change, for better or for worse, and you're going to have to adapt. It won't be the end of the world, and it certainly won't be the end of you. Find a new hobby.

you can do so much better than trying to find your worth in the words from boys that just want "pics" from you.

you made me hate myself for the longest time, you made me feel useless and worthless and made me starve myself days on end. I never hated you, it was your toxic mindset all along

I know things are hard my girl, u have gone threw a lot. But remember there is always worse and u haven’t lived it yet So to someone somewhere your still winning..and to that person, I’m so very sorry

im proud of how far you've come. i think i could finally love you someday, hopefully its soon. I hope you can see yourself the way he does, tessa. please don't hurt yourself. you are loved

I’m laying down fading away with me myself & I between these 4 little corners and I feel helpless, breathless cause I can vision you crying,dying in the corner while I’m on the other side of the town and there’s nothing nothing nothing that I can do but face time you although I know my words won’t help you…you just need a hug and shoulder to cry on but baby I’m sorry that I can’t give you that when you need it the most cause I’m on the other side stuck between my screaming demons too and there’s no one to help us but our thoughts and our thoughts but darling this time will pass this quarantine will end our sadness will leave and we’ll be happy and lovely all again ... I wish cause I know each and every soul will leave out of the door empty and scarred

why can't you just be happy? i'm trapped inside of my self and i'm trying to be heard and let out. why can't you just accept the fact that you're not okay? i feel as though i'm in closed in this dark abyss where there isn't anything to pull me out. i feel like i can't breath, why is that? god , i just wanna feel that euphoric happiness that so many people get to experience and live my teenage years to the fullest. instead i lock myself away and wrap myself in a blanket of self-loathing, loneliness and pain. you're so angry at the world and for what? You've been through a lot lately and you feel as though you have no one to turn to, losing someone who you thought would be with you for a long time hurts but i want you to know that she wasn't worth it. you are worth so much more even though you don't believe and it seems like a lie even whilst i'm typing this but i want you to know that when you're ready, there's a whole world out there for you to experience and although you don't think it will happen, you'll meet someone later in life who'll love you until the universe collapses. please know that. i won't say i love you because we know that's not true. hold on a little longer for us, okay?

So...
I think out of everyone you loved you hurt me the most. Now I hate you. I have given you so many chances that it's left me wondering "Can I even make anyone happy". My love... so foolish. I'm so scared of hurting someone like I hurt myself. That's why I'm so lonely now. The old me is a ghost who haunts my memories wishing to be real again, how can you be someone who is dead? Spooky.

I do not love you. You know that. The people who did... well you overwhelmed some, pushed others away ect. Now what am I left with? Nothing, no one... Having no friends is a lonely world, having no lovers is a grey filter and pushing away your family leaves you empty with no hand to hold. My life is anything but love, ha how sad. It's my fault and I hate you for that. What is my purpose now? I'm so touched deprived that when I'm reached out to all I can do flinch. Your heart is so heavy with love to give but you keep it locked under all your pain and doubts. So much loneliness is rapped around that weighted heart. How am I to change this?? I feel like a different person, this isn't me bruh! How did I become this emotionless person, I can laugh off pain like a bad joke. Sure things hurt but it never bothers me anymore because the pain is now my reality. That's all I know so... because I have nothing the pain is my friend now :) Loneliness is my blanket at night, how poetic. Most poems are tragedies though. Self explanatory. Good luck future me, let's hope you're around hehe xx

You are special. And you have someone special looking out for you. He wants you to move on and do amazing things, so do it babe.

I crave a first love like one straight out of a movie.. but I'm not even straight and were in a panny :0

i know right now it feels like you'll never be able to love anyone, but i'm sure that will change for you someday. the clouds will part and you'll feel whole again. one day at a time, you're healing.

Nobody can understand your mind the way you do. Be patient when others try - they do care about you, even if they aren't saying things the perfect way.

This is it. You've finally lost the one thing you were living for. Now what? The world will keep on spinning without you. Everyone will move on from you eventually, may as well get it done earlier so they aren't bothered by you any longer.

Sometimes I wish I could redo everything. My first love is myself and I broke it. It can never truly be healed. And if I'm honest, I'm glad. Not glad I'm broken but glad, that I was the one to break myself.

Why are you so worthless. You are helping everyone and yet no one helps you. I feel like I am invisible and no one cares about me. I have these thoughts in my head that I can't get out but I don't know how to share them and express them. It's so hard for me because I never know what to say and how to talk to someone.

my mom and dad check up on me as if im mentaly ill and the truth is i cant answer if that is true or not bc i feel like i convince my slef to be okay to the point that i dont feel anything. i just want someone to see that i just want someone there to help.

I am very proud of you. You are loved, you just don't realize it. Look around and see all the beautiful faces God put in front of you.

I'm so proud of you for getting this far in life. I know it was so tough at first but look where you're at now. Please don't give up because you're worth more than anything than this world can give us. You are loved.

You get asked how you’re doing and it’s always the same replay“oh me I’m good thx” but deep down your not and it’s okay, you need to start excepting that it’s okay not to be okay but you need to tell someone that’s what makes it okay :|

Thank you so much for having the strength to remove him from your life. I am forever proud of you even when it seems like im not.

it took me this long to find myself.. but im glad it did, since i had my happy moments before i saw the actual real world.just kinda wish someone gave me a heads up..

stop telling yourself you're okay with being the second choice. you arent okay with it. you just say you are because its the only thing you know. one day someone will come along, and you WILL be their first choice. you wont be abandoned by them. i know, its hard isnt it? the feeling of never being enough.. forming a close bond with someone just for them to leave when they find someone they like more than you. you think of yourself as the temporary friend, the side character that was thrown aside when the main character found another person they liked better. its hard. but keep searching, youre so so close. youre about to find them. and then, YOULL be THEIR first choice. dont give up yet.

i hate you for being too strong - stop hurting me already. just go kill people with your words and feel better

I’m sorry I lost you years ago to my depression and anxiety. I’m working on finding you again. I love you ; I miss you.

hey lmao, im slowly declining and I keep pushing back I feel like shit everyday I think I need help. I have too much pride to admit to that to someone else. im living in a lie, and I feel like im dying slowly.

I'm a guy and in 2nd grade I kissed my best friend (a guy) and did other things. Something I wish I didn't do.

stop using people. get on with it and cut off everyone for their benefit. i wish you never existed, but youre so manipulative and toxic for what? you always get away with everything, you always get what you want whether itd be a person, a substance, money, an object, a favor, etc. please please get on with it and kill yourself, you already experienced everything in your 15 years of living either way. you experienced everything no one should go through and you deserve it so don't even complain. at least youre not ugly and at least youre charming, shit, if you were ugly youd be far back in life lmao.

the song talk to me by cave town makes we so sad becuase i know knowone will ever care about me enough

treat yourself better. give yourself breaks. you deserve them more then you realize. you’re trying your hardest. you got this. please don’t give up. i love and trust you. you deserve the world.

i wish i learned how love myself before i let everyone tell me something that would later on affect the way i see myself

Its so hard to love you sometimes.most of the time i dont. ill wake up hating you for putting me through so much. Its difficult to understand why im so young and why it had to happen so quickly,i never asked for this kind of life so why do you force me to do this to myself? im a kid i dont derserve any of this. so why do you call me selfish when im trying for myself? why?

i don't know why you do this to yourself. deep down you know nobody could ever love you. you're too broken.

- you love the way you felt back then, and you miss the butterflies, i get it, just keep in mind that best things are coming.
- it´s been just three months and
you´re in the process of healing.
- it´s just normal that some days you feel like not being able to get out of bed, It hurts.
- don´t be so damn hard on yourself, you´re doing great.
- i love you. so much.

Too bad that your past love experiences for now ended up revolving with so much trust issues youre now a result of wavering anxiety. but i hope if love visits you again, love would be kind enough to teach a love without being anxious anymore

hey, I know we're going through shit rn but it'll be fine. We've gone through worse. We'll be fine, right? About b make sure yo

we actually do like her before getting into a relationship with her. She's our closest friend don't do anything stupid and ruin it. Umm and about p. Its time we get over them. Its been months. 3 relationships with them should be enough to realise its not going to work out a 4th time. But hey thats okay no big deal were still best friends them. please dont let us forget how to love ourselves. stop giving a fuck about what our friends say were great how we are. thats all for now. i love you, we dont say that often enough. to anyone, maybe its time we start specifically with ourselves.

im so proud of the person you're becoming. it wasnt all for nothing after all. keep taking those risks and living life to the fullest. the past doesn't define you. but also keep the humble trait you have right now. keep working towards that best version of yourself, and don't look back.

u know u deserve better. it hurts now, but u'll be okay. pain is temporary and everything heals with time.

fuck you for fucking everything up, i hate this. being alone, feeling so horrible. the pain gets so bad sometimes my chest feels heavy. THIS IS MY FAULT. why couldnt i have just been better, maybe someone would want me then, maybe they'd love me and need me the way i needed them.

I’m sorry, i’ve never had my first love or else. I feel like i’m never enough, no one will ever love me, so it made me create a wall, and thats the reason of why i’ve never loved

i’ve never had my first love, and i don’t know how to feel. I’ve grew up with a bad exemple of love so i don’t wanna love

Hello me, i love you. Although I don't show it sometimes, i love you.
I love your smile, your eyes, your hair, everything you do is not perfect. But for me it is.

your an ugly ass stop being annoying and go to die abahahhahahahahaahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

What happened to you? You used to be the happiest person in the world and than... things changed people changed and you became so distant and hateful and sad you’d cry yourself to sleep wondering why you weren’t good enough or why you never tried hard enough to make people happy and love you. You gave up because you thought it was a waste of time because you felt like no one loved you no matter how hard you tried... And maybe that’s true... :,(

please just feel normal again, im sick of the tiredness, boredness and traumatising moments, i love you just dont let go.

Bitch.
you need to stop being so lazy. You legit have such a happy and alive personality anyone would fall in love with you instantly when they meet you. Live life a little go on random adventures, see places by yourself, meet new people. You keep thinking that everyone is the same and keep getting sad at the thought of loosing yourself. you. got. this. You are going to uni soon, if now is not the time, when is? Take a breather. Get ypu stuff ready and lets go on a ride. A ride with life before it all finishes and your a 50 year old woman with a bunch of stories to tell. Until then GET ON IT.

Why are you still looking for something or someone you can't have? You are just hurting yourself over and over again.

Get out your comfort zone. Don’t let your fears and worries determine what you can/can’t do . Life is how you make it to be !