Unsent Messages

I do not love you. You know that. The people who did... well you overwhelmed some, pushed others away ect. Now what am I left with? Nothing, no one... Having no friends is a lonely world, having no lovers is a grey filter and pushing away your family leaves you empty with no hand to hold. My life is anything but love, ha how sad. It's my fault and I hate you for that. What is my purpose now? I'm so touched deprived that when I'm reached out to all I can do flinch. Your heart is so heavy with love to give but you keep it locked under all your pain and doubts. So much loneliness is rapped around that weighted heart. How am I to change this?? I feel like a different person, this isn't me bruh! How did I become this emotionless person, I can laugh off pain like a bad joke. Sure things hurt but it never bothers me anymore because the pain is now my reality. That's all I know so... because I have nothing the pain is my friend now :) Loneliness is my blanket at night, how poetic. Most poems are tragedies though. Self explanatory. Good luck future me, let's hope you're around hehe xx