stop telling yourself you're okay with being the second choice. you arent okay with it. you just say you are because its the only thing you know. one day someone will come along, and you WILL be their first choice. you wont be abandoned by them. i know, its hard isnt it? the feeling of never being enough.. forming a close bond with someone just for them to leave when they find someone they like more than you. you think of yourself as the temporary friend, the side character that was thrown aside when the main character found another person they liked better. its hard. but keep searching, youre so so close. youre about to find them. and then, YOULL be THEIR first choice. dont give up yet.