Unsent messages to MAX

When it's night, I'll look up at the sky, staring at the stars with wonder and longing. When look at you, I feel as if I am stargazing; I long for your stars. I long for you to show me your constellations, your hidden galaxies, so that I may show you my abandoned planets and intense supernovas.

Oh, your mind. Your brilliant mind. But not brilliant enough for you to know better than to mess with mine.

i love you so much. i don’t know if i’ll ever not love you. and it’s killing me seeing you slowly lose interest in me.

I knew you never loved me but the thought of losing you hurt to much doesn’t matter know u left anyways

i'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you but i love you more than u know. i wish i could tell you how you upset me without upsetting you and without you having a huge reaction. i want to help u but sometimes ur just so blunt i feel useless or like you dont want me there. it hurts when u send me dry texts and wont tell me how youre feeling. i know i do the same but if i tell u whats wrong you throw it back in my face. i know thi isnt true but i sometimes feel like you only want me for sex or to pleasure you and when i dont you get in a mood. i always ask if youre okay and comfort you but you rarely seem to do the same. i dont want you to get pissy with me when im upset. i wish i could tell you how you upset me without making you feel bad. youre more than good enough for me and i love you.

I wish I could talk to you again. I miss u but I think deep down we think it's easier not to. It wouldn't work.

whenever i think of you, im reminded of the colour green. i think youre one of the few people that match my energy, although you can be a little unpredictable at times. we dont talk as much anymore, which sucks cause i love our conversations. i know ill never be able to see you in person, but im ok with it. i think our friendship is destined to be short lived, yet we talk as if we've known each other for years. i hope its not just me who feels this way between us. you have my ideal personality and energy, youre pretty sick, but still an asshole. i think i love you, but it doesnt matter

Where did the boy i fell in love with go? Why couldn’t you treat me like a person instead of a sex object?

you ruined me. i will never love anyone the way i loved you. i’m always gonna love you. my heart is broken and no one will be able to fix it

you were the first person i ever liked or loved for that matter. you dont know how much it hurts to see u leave.to see you smile and laugh with another girl. i just wish you could love me. i wish you could be mine once again. you kept leaving and coming back and i accepted you every time u left. i was willing to go through what over and over again if it meant that id be loved by you once more. but this time i dont think your coming back.

its like i talk to myself at night thinking your there with me. I miss your smile and your laugh and all the memories we've had.. It's been 3 years and i haven't given up on you.

You had so much potential. What happened. Why do I constantly keep coming back to you. What is it about you. You are horrible for me. I have a boyfriend. Why do I keep coming back? Fuck you.

why did you leave, everything was going great. you told e you loved me like every day, asked me to be your gf just for you to leave it don't make sense. you were my happiness, I don't understand, did I do something to push you away? was there someone else? please call me and tell me, explain yourself that's all I want. you were my best friend and now we're just strangers

I think about you every day, but I've been in a relationship with someone else for 3 years. I miss you.

idk if i have feelings for u or not. im sorry if it seems like im pushing you away. i just don't know rn

I cant express the amount of love I have for you. Its been 6 months of us being friends and I've never liked someone so much, you mean the world and more to me.

You are golden. You are so beautiful and I love you so much. I see beauty in you i've never seen before.

Sometimes I think about what we could have been if we never broke up. I mean.. we could have had a happy life

Sorry I let my anxiety get in the way. I regret breaking up with you abruptly and not giving you a chance.

sometimes i stay up at night, wondering what more i could have done to make u stay even j a little longer

It's been a year and I will continue to wait for you. I love you so much, when you text me everyday I just wanna tell you you're my everything and why I am here today.

its scary to say i like you because its almost like i cant find anything wrong with you, even as hard as i’ve tried

-i also chose this color because it reminds me of you

You were the only reason why I had a smile on my face and like always I mess that up, but I really did love you even though I didn't act like it...I really wish now I could tell it to you but it's to late and you moved on...

You changed a lot. I want you to know it wasn't true, what I said, and I'm sorry for making it seem like it was.

Im still broken. you broke me. you knew I wasn't doing well. you fucking knew. I hate you. I fucking hate you. You broke every promise and I hope you remember that you were the reason I started spiralling again. fuck you.

so, your my first love. we both know this. i would like to say. im sorry we ended on bad terms, but after everything you put me through, im okay with bad terms. im now with the loml, her name is ambyr. yes her im bi. lmao. anyways i hope your doing well, not that i truly care. and you know what i really actually hate you. you lied to me several times, kept me around so you could break my heart again, cheated on me and thought it was okay. rebounded so fast. i- how could you do that to me.. i hope you know i have major trust issues and commentment issues. i-

There’s so much I want to share with you, but I’m every time I lay near you I stay silent, because I don’t know where to start.
Ava

Am I allowed to call you mine, cause your her's now, but I wish you were mine I wish I had kissed you in the music room or told you I liked you that letter put everything into perspective and I wish I had never let dean happen, why did you let me move on I loved you, you knew that, I still love you, and now you love her and I can't hurt you or her because I love you and I want you to be happy and if I don't make you happy then I hope that she does and she won't hurt you the way I did. I'm sorry I let you go and didn't tell you my feelings until it was to late. Tell her how lucky she is and give her that hoodie for me ok? I love you now and forever you know that now.

You had my heart for so long. You broke my heart for so long too. But he loves me, a lot and he is my best friend. You don’t have my heart anymore. He has it and I know he is gonna take care of it.

I wonder what it’ll be like when I tell you I was in love with you. You’re so much more than you think you are. Even though it’s different now, I hope one day you learn to love too everything that I loved about you. There’s a lot more of it than you think.

I hated the way you talked to me. I hated the way you looked at me. I hated how you left without a goodbye. I hate how much I cared. I hate everything about you. And I hate myself for letting you do that to me.

I trusted you with my heart. You made me grow attached to you just for you to leave me in the dark. You make me so mad, and I feel so humiliated.

you deserve to be told how stunning and beautiful and perfect you are. if i wasn’t a girl i’d do it in a heartbeat. i’m sorry. i love you.
love, max.

it should've been you. the first time i ever saw you i just knew. i wish i could tell you now that it was you i wanted to be with. but i couldn't do that to k. i miss you.

i really do miss the memories..when i see you they all come flooding back. but you’ve changed for the worse.

I’m sorry I hurt you, but you were hurting me unintentionally. I love you, but I needed to love myself first.

when u texted “im not fighting for u. i dont want to”, that just about broke my heart into a million pieces dude.

i miss what we had. even though it wasn't much, it felt like the world. and it sucks knowing it'll never be the same

i’m here for you. ik you don’t trust me because of the shit you’ve been through in life. but i care about u so much.

Thank you. Thank you for being there for me through everything, until you physically couldn’t anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner that you were in pain. Just know that you were it for me. I could never replace you even if i tried. Even if i wondered the world searching for souls alike to yours i will always come out short handed. I wish i had appreciated you more while you were here with me. I wish you could have stayed longer. Stayed with me. I love you and miss you always.

I love you so much...but it's hard to keep up with your needs, especially when you always let me down.

I love you so much...but it's hard to keep up with your needs, especially when you always let me down.

Talking to you yesterday after a year of silence reminded me of all the ways I loved you more than I will ever love anything again. Please dont let this be goodbye

I still came back to you even when you were loving on other girls that weren’t like me, why? i was 13..

I still came back to you even when you were loving on other girls that weren’t like me, why? i was 13..

everything reminds me of u. why do i hope i'd bump into u in among us or something. i just know ur red

One thing I vividly remember is thinking how I hoped you won't have enough time to do anything about it before i lost conscious.

hey. i had a really shitty day and all i wanted to do was talk to you about it. i hate that you are not in my life anymore.

I love you so much, you were the only person and reason I held on so long. I know you’re not coming back, and if you do, I’ll be really surprised. but until then. I love you, and I’ll be here. it might be months or years. but I’ll never forget you and how you made me feel.

when we were just hanging out and i was telling alee that i loved her and you said i love u too because you thought i was taking to you. i laughed it off but that is something i’ll always remember, no matter how small, that still meant the world to me.