Unsent messages to JAMES

what did she have that i didn’t i want to be with you so bad but i don’t know how to get past that it was so easy for you to fall for her while you were with me because i was so in love with you and i thought you felt the same way about me but i don’t know now but i want you but i don’t really trust you i’m sorry i’m trying

listening to you play songs on your guitar for me that night in your basement is still one of the most beautiful memories i have. thank you. i hope life is good.

I wish i could kiss you again. i wish i could tell you how i feel about you. i know i’m not a very good friend, but why do you feel so down?

i blocked you because i didn’t want you to make me feel insecure about living my life anymore. have fun analyzing someone else.

I’m sorry I tried so hard to keep the convo going, I know you wanted me to stop replying. I can’t let you go.

You have the prettiest voice that I’ve ever heard and I don’t think I’ll ever stop cradling the sound of it.

I take new people to the places we used to go in attempt to feel what I felt when I was with you. It never works. They never get me like you did.

Blue is your favourite colour. Ironic, since it's how you left me.
- I hope she makes you happy.
Though sometimes I wish it were me, and I was enough for you to want to stay, I know I wasn't and that's okay.

i honestly didn't mean to hurt you. i liked you on and off for two years. before and after you dated savi, while ainsley liked you and while claire liked you. i never thought i would have a chance with you so i kept our relationship strictly a friendship. i knew claire liked you. i knew i should've stopped talking to you when you started giving me hints. but i couldn't help but fall for you. what was i supposed to do when the person i had liked for two years showed interest in me? i talked to you without telling claire. she's my best friend. i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i did it anyway. i was falling for you and very quickly. i told you i liked you. you felt the same way. we facetimed everyday. then i realized what i was doing. i couldn't do that to claire. even though she could never know how much you really meant to me, i couldn't. i told you we couldn't be together. this broke my heart. you were what i needed. what i wanted. but it didn't matter. my best friend over a boy any day. i honestly think you were my first love, but i wouldn't know, i don't know what love is. i still think about you everyday. how different would my life be if i chose you over claire? better or worse? i hope i made the right decision. because i'll never know. if you ever see this, know how much you mean to me.

you didn’t chose me. I can sit and choose you over and over again until the end but that won’t change the fact that you didn’t chose me. I deserve someone who chooses me. I won’t make the same mistake again. you made the decision to lose me it was your fault. i’ve struggled long enough trying to escape the landslide that your decision caused. I want to move on. I am trying. i’ve been trying since you left but I finally think i’m ready now, goodbye james

Your walls were this colour. And they watched me fall in love with you, whilst you felt nothing at all.

from the first time i saw you in february, when you came and sat next to me, i knew you were the one. i love you and i hope we can at least be friends, hopefully more.

The way you left was so cruel. I hate you. I hate that I have no closure. I hate that I carry you with me when I know you don't carry me at all. I hate that a part of me will always love you.

you represent a strange time in my life, like this colour. I hope you find peace soon, even though we have gone our separate ways.

Did you ever really love me or were you just lying to me for your own fun? It really seemed like you meant it but now I'm not so sure.

I loved you but I was too scared to show it. I miss everything we had, even the fighting. please come back to me.

J’aurais vendu mon âme 10 fois pour t’avoir il y a quelques années. Mais en t’ayant enfin, tout ce que j’ai réalisé, c’est que je me suis perdu dans ton image romancée. Tu ne méritais pas de ressentir ce que tu ressentais, personne ne le fait vraiment. Mais cela ne nie pas le fait que je ne méritais pas d’être traité de cette façon. Tu le savais, au moins.

Sometimes when you look at me I feel nothing at all, sometimes it hurts but sometimes it lights up my heart

i’ll never stop missing you . you’ll never not be on my mind. there’ll always be a gap in my life that u left behind .
do u even remember me ? do u remember how much i made u laugh and smile or do u only see her?
pls come back. i miss you.

I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. Forever in my heart just like we used to say. Why did you cheat?

I still wonder what would have happened to us if we had just held on. If you'd never met her. I wonder if we would have stuck together or if you would still have got bored of me. I hope she makes you happy and I hope she gives you what I clearly couldn't. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for breaking my heart the way you did but I hope she's good to you.

I still haven't forgiven you and I don't know if I ever will. But I hope you're happy and you're getting serotonin that I clearly couldn't give to you.

I heard from a friend that you got a job interview on Monday, just wanted to say I'm proud of you, I'll always be proud of what you do x

I'm torn between still loving you and letting you go. You meant so much to me, part of me wants to hold on in case you want to come back into my life but I know that I shouldn't wait. So I'll try to say goodbye, but part of me will always love you x

I wish we weren’t so bad for each other but I guess we weren’t meant to be I still care for you but you broke my heart :(

I have never felt anger like I did when you came back. Was everything a lie? Did I mean a thing to you at all?

why did you do the things you did? i miss what it felt like when i thought it was real. i will never forgive you.

I let you hurt me beyond words because I loved you, yet you were still sad when I left. How could you hurt someone you supposedly loved so much?