Unsent messages to DANIEL

there's so many things I wish I could take back. as much as I wish it could have worked out, you left me with more regret than anything. its for the best that we became strangers again.

I'm not saying it, so i didnt break the rules. I love you. i love you i love you i love you. im so sorry

I miss you so much. everyday, I wish we could go back to riding that old go cart or sitting staring at the sky. I start college tomorrow and I am petrified to not have you at my side. I miss you so much, I miss my best friend.

i dont want you to feel that you cant talk to me since we stopped talking, i will always be here for you and i would drop everything to help you

everyone says heartbreak takes time to heal. but you were never even mine. we were never a thing. i created something out of nothing. i wish i was just over you already. i still think of the letter you wrote me and the flower you put behind my ear. I'm exhausted of hoping we could be something. I'm so tired of thinking every time my phone lights up it could be you texting to literally just say hi. i have to let go of the idea that we were meant to be. we arent meant to be anything. i love the idea of you. i wonder if you actually liked me or just fucked with me for fun. maybe i should've told you how i felt but you clearly moved on... i think? i need to stop being delusional.

Even though I was naive enough for you to hurt me, thank you for the memories we created, I will cherish them.

Whenever I hear your name my heart sinks. You made me feel like no one ever had. I I know you’ve moved on. I know you’re happy but I keep dreaming one day you’ll come back. I miss you .

this feels weird calling u daniel but i had to make it so u wouldn’t find this:) our friendship didn’t last long u could say but i do want to say thank you. In preschool you gave me a blue sparkly stone heart(i might have stolen it and claimed it was u who bestowed it on me). hopefully u will never read this and if u do im sorry for a lot of things and never tell me if u read this. if u are reading this know texting me would either be the shittiest idea ever or the greatest. i’m so very sorry for all the harm i have given u and i hope u forgive me.

i had you for less than a month. i wish i had one more day with you. one more kiss. one more everything.

You taught me how to fall in love with music. Thank you for letting me live out a country love song, even if it was one sided.

You taught me how to fall in love with music. Thank you for letting me live out a country love song, even if it was one sided.

you truly were the first person i cared about and likewise you cared about me. i’m sorry for the way i treated you but you gave up on me so many times that sometimes i feel there’s no point in going back anymore

I wish you'd talk to me one last time... I hate who I became and wish you'd never met her. I swear I'm better now and i wish I could prove it to you. I wonder if we'll ever see each other again

You're the only person I've ever trusted and who made me feel safe. I'm beyond sorry for all the angst ... I would have settled for being your friend but we couldn't even do that. Give my love to Reuben

I can't believe that after all this I still worry when you're with her. I know you love me, but I know you'll always love her too.

Mi cielo ha perdido su estrella más brillante.
Esa que siempre pensó que estaría allí, para recordarle todo lo bonito, lo mágico e ilusoria que es la vida.
La protegía tanto como a mi misma.
Pero, entre bajas y altas, la estrella desapareció. El cielo se volvió oscuro, sin nada que hiciera recordar su valor.
Aún lo observo y me pregunto si volverá.
¿O solo se trató de un espectáculo estelar? ¿Tendré que esperar quizás el próximo siglo para ver su precioso regreso?
Te extraño mucho.

5 years next month, 5 years of you being by my side and guiding me through the darkest of days. I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re my entire world and you always will be.

I was only 13. I still have the scars, ill never be able to forgive you for what you did. As much as i like to think I forgot, I still find myself in moments like this.

It’s been four days since we last spoke.. You said you couldn’t be what I needed but all I needed was you.

It’s been four days since we last spoke.. You said you couldn’t be what I needed but all I needed was you.

I loved you, I hope you have the best life, just not with me. Times were just too hard with different priorities.

i never loved you or ever really liked you in that way, but i wish you weren't such an idiot. maybe then we'd at least wave to each other in the halls.

I hate you for what you put me through and I hate that I don't think I'll ever completely fall out of love with you.

My biggest fear is getting back with you. You're my twin flame, my toxic cycle. I loved you more than anything. You shit on my feelings with every action. Fuck you i hope you grow some day.

Daniel, I love you. Ok? It's been 9 years, nine fucking years. Kindergarten, we were 5 and I still decided that you were that person to look at for 9 years. I'm 14 now and you're 13 still. We told you that I liked you, like alot. You treated it like a joke. Someone told me you felt bad and that you weren't looking for some relationship. If you honeslty and genuinely felt bad, you would've talked to me. It's been almost a month and I've tried so hard to forget the pain of what happened. I know you still like her, I know you do. Ok i know it's hard for you, but do you know how hard it was for me to sit there and watch you two for months. When I told you I was putting so much on the line for myself and I really think i fucked up doing it. We sit next to eachother in 3 classes now. I wish, I honeslty wish, you would sit back and look at me. Actually look at me and realize I'm not that stupid damn act I have put up for so damn long. I'm a person, with feelings. Maybe I did fall in love with the fantasy, but I so fell in love with the person first. And I wish that person would look at me like I've looked at them for so long.

You didn’t love me back but I gave you my everything. You manipulated me and tore me apart but I still loved you. I thought you would change and I was wrong. I’m over you now, but thanks for nothing.

I loved you, thought you were beautiful inside and out. You didn’t feel the same, so I don’t know why it took me so long to let you go.

Me lastimaste,¿ y sabes que? Fue lo mejor que me pasó porque gracias a eso soy alguien más, mejore como persona, conocí personas y siento el apoyo incondicional de aquellos que me rodean, espero y mejores tu baja autoestima y te vaya bien.

i tried really hard to make you feel happy, i wish you would have felt the same for me! i wish your parents would have trusted me, i wish you would have trusted in us. but instead, you met other people and ignored me. i still want you to be happy, you were the first person i ever opened up to about how my parents are treating me and you made me feel so loved and wanted. but you also made me hate your zodiac sign, just remember that i‘ll always love you to the moon and back

You’ve fallen in love three times in your life, but for me it was only ever you. Sometimes it feels like you’ll be my first and last love and honestly I’ve grown okay with that because I love you enough to last me a lifetime.

i loved you and i still do. i thought you loved me yet you lied straight to my face and left i thought you promised forever . even though its 5 months later i still think of you and i know middle school love isnt supposed to last forever but you took me out of a dark place and for the first time i actually thought i knew what the words i love you meant but i guess not . but i just wanted to know why ? and the next tging i know my best friend is calling me saying you deeply love her . i guess the only thing i am good fr is being used if you ever loved me why didnt you say so. and even thugh i know ill never get you back i just wanted you to know that ill still come running back any time you need me because i know you are the one but for now maybe in another life .

When I said that its hard for me to love YOU, I didnt mean it. I wanted to say that its hard for ME to love you.

remember when u said youd be there for me whenever i needed to talk but u never responded when i needed u most, instead i got left on read

tu é o meu melhor amigo pra sempre, meu amor por ti ainda vai estar vivo e registrado quando toda a nossa geração se for. eu te amo!!

nothing can bring us back to the connection we once had. i’m sorry we couldn’t settle our differences. you were the first person who treated me like a friend. i knew what friendship was because of you. the funny memories we had from year 4- year 10 is something ill never forget. we aren’t in each other’s lives, but i dearly miss you. you’ll never see this, but i hope you miss me like i miss you.

Hola soy yo de nuevo este mensaje nunca lo verás, pero como no te escribi uno de despedida hace cuatro años pues aquí vamos. Te ame tanto fuiste mi primer amor y si aunque pareciera que no te amara siempre lo hice, solo que no soy de demostrar emociones, aún recuerdo nuestro primer beso, nuestro gran abrazo,nuestro gran hola, aún te recuerdo. También las veces que terminamos y me perdonó y te perdono por todo el daño que nos hicimos el uno al otro.... se que no te supe amar de la manera correcta o la ideal, lo siento. Siento tanto cada mal momento que vivimos.siento no haberte contado de mis ataques de ansiedad o que sufría de bullimia, creo que nos faltó más comunicación. Siento el recuerdo amargo que te llevaste de mi. Pero en ese entonces no quería vivir. Fuiste y serás un gran amigo. Me quedo con lo bueno y dejo atrás todo lo malo y las beses que me trataste mal y me hiciste sentir mal. Te perdono porque somos humanos y nos equivocamos.

Y sip por siempre nefilim estupido. Te amo y te amaré hasta que muera y si hay una vida después de esta, te amaré también entonces.

Para el fiel seguidor y amante de Harry Potter
*always*

you made me realize what it’s like to be used. i still think about you. and want you. even if i’m just gonna get used again

when i talk to you i don't know if im crying because im happy to see you or sad for the future i don't know if im crying because you seem so happy or because i miss your smile my body aches sometimes when i think of you and there is nothing i wouldn't do to have you comfort me and tell me its okay and really, actually mean it

I'm not sure if you knew I liked you, but I did. First day of school and I fell in love with you. I still think about you..

fuck you. you were supposed to want to protect me. sometimes i feel like im crazy and i want to forget it all and other days i want to ruin your life and tell the whole world what you did. most days i settle for knowing you will never hurt me again and that there's a special place i hell for people like you.

i miss you so much. sorry i've never said i love you back, but believe me, i do. i hate you and i hope i never meet anyone like you, you're so toxic but you'll be always in my heart. goodbye.

i hate you so fucking much stop trying to come back into my life i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

I tried to forget u over and over for around a year straight, but somehow the universe found a way to make me hold onto you. And now that i guess we're back, i never wanna let you go again. All these signs were pointing right to u. I genuinely think that without those i would've forgotten about u in like a week after u vanished, for me moving on and changing my life are just basic easy tasks.
But the universe has its reasons and its ways. Who am i to question that?
Anyway, just know that you mean the world to me and i cant wait to see u again!

i loved you. i really wanted to be with you. but you didn’t like me. when i confessed to liking you you dismissed it and ignored me. i don’t know what i did. i thought you liked me to but i guess i was wrong

i always think of you when best part plays on the radio. why did it take you so long to give me closure

i really like u, maybe way too much. i love talking to u and i love how u always get me and don’t judge me for any of the weird shit i share with u lol. i love ur personality and just everything about u. it breaks my heart that i can’t even meet u irl or anything because ur honestly the best guy i’ve ever met and tbh i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone as good as u. ur so special to me and u deserve nothing but the best. even though it makes me sad it won’t and it can’t possibly be me, i hope u meet someone who makes u the happiest. i love u ?
- m.
ps: i hope we keep in touch in the future and that all this time we’ve talked doesn’t just end up in nothing. i don’t think i can take that emotionally ???

Daniel, when I was with you it was a normal feeling, it is now that we are away it is a feeling of emptiness and regret, I miss you, I'm sorry

Hola soy yo de nuevo este mensaje nunca lo verás, pero como no te escribi uno de despedida hace cuatro años pues aquí vamos. Te ame tanto fuiste mi primer amor y si aunque pareciera que no te amara siempre lo hice, solo que no soy de demostrar emociones, aún recuerdo nuestro primer beso, nuestro gran abrazo,nuestro gran hola, aún te recuerdo. También las veces que terminamos y me perdonó y te perdono por todo el daño que nos hicimos el uno al otro.... se que no te supe amar de la manera correcta o la ideal, lo siento. Siento tanto cada mal momento que vivimos.siento no haberte contado de mis ataques de ansiedad o que sufría de bullimia, creo que nos faltó más comunicación. Siento el recuerdo amargo que te llevaste de mi. Pero en ese entonces no quería vivir. Fuiste y serás un gran amigo. Me quedo con lo bueno y dejo atrás todo lo malo y las beses que me trataste mal y me hiciste sentir mal. Te perdono porque somos humanos y nos equivocamos.

Y sip por siempre nefilim estupido. Te amo y te amaré hasta que muera y si hay una vida después de esta, te amaré también entonces.

Para el fiel seguidor y amante de Harry Potter
*always*

i don't think i can stop loving you. but i understand you not loving me anymore. i hope we can at least go back to being friends. i love you so much it hurts, i just want to see you happy.

I just wish you liked me back. It´s okay if you only wanted to use me as a distraction, I loved you so much that I wouldn´t have minded that. Even if it was fake, it would have been enough for me. Letting you go is more painful.