Unsent Messages

Daniel, I love you. Ok? It's been 9 years, nine fucking years. Kindergarten, we were 5 and I still decided that you were that person to look at for 9 years. I'm 14 now and you're 13 still. We told you that I liked you, like alot. You treated it like a joke. Someone told me you felt bad and that you weren't looking for some relationship. If you honeslty and genuinely felt bad, you would've talked to me. It's been almost a month and I've tried so hard to forget the pain of what happened. I know you still like her, I know you do. Ok i know it's hard for you, but do you know how hard it was for me to sit there and watch you two for months. When I told you I was putting so much on the line for myself and I really think i fucked up doing it. We sit next to eachother in 3 classes now. I wish, I honeslty wish, you would sit back and look at me. Actually look at me and realize I'm not that stupid damn act I have put up for so damn long. I'm a person, with feelings. Maybe I did fall in love with the fantasy, but I so fell in love with the person first. And I wish that person would look at me like I've looked at them for so long.