Unsent messages to CHRIS

I know we broke up and i know you wanna keep being friends but, i just can’t while knowing you still feel something. it just hurts being around you and not knowing what to do.

Dear Chris,
I will never understand why you wanted to take a break. Even though we didn't date, we still liked each other. We didn't talk for a few months because you had your phone taken away. Before that, we started to drift apart. You didn't wanna ft anymore. You took hours to respond. Then when we didn't talk I was really sad because I needed you, I need you. Then the day you got your phone back Zoie and I text you and you said barely anything. Then we ft you and while you were talking to us, you just hung up didn't say anything after that. Then we text you. You said we need a break because you are getting negative energy from us when you haven't even talked to us for an hour. Then you say but we can talk later like how the fuck are you going to say we need a break but we can talk later. Anyways.... after that, zoie deletes any trace of you from her life. While I still cling to that hope that we will be friends like how we were. I spent and still do spend nights crying because I needed you. When you left, I was in a bad place. You don't even say hi to me anymore. I still love you

I didn't think that hug would be our last. If I had I would've held on a little longer and a little tighter, even tho u were playing me I genuinely loved u.

I feel stupid for all my emotions, you obviously moved on and now I look like an idiot trying to get over a love that I thought you had for me. I think I was imagining it but I would love to believe that at one point you really loved me. Did all of those late night chats really mean nothing? Did you want to break me? because you did and I don't know how to fix myself. I hope she loves you more than I would've.

I didnt think you would ever leave. Where are you and why aren't you back yet. Please come back. I love you more than you will ever know.

i thought that u would be the one, the one that cared for me but no u just left me there in a heartbeat

she’s sweet but she’s not right for you..open your eyes and see that i’m always going to be here for you..

Hi Chris. I just wanted to let you know that I still love you. Honestly you seem perfect, everything that I could ask for. However I messed that up. Im rude and I always talk about myself. I wasnt raised to be social, so I never know what to say or how to start a conversion. Im sorry for always cutting you off. I secretly hope that you would call time to time. I just want it to go back to how it was. You waking me up with calls and texts. We pulling all nighters but it never works.

You’re all I want, all I think about and all I love. Even if we don’t work out now, we’ll find our way back to eachother

hey...I know its been over a year and a half since we've truly spoken, but I still miss you. I miss all the little moments we had together and I suppose I now understand that a part of me will always be in love with you. To be completely honest, you seem like a completely different person, and maybe I've changed as well, but I still want to get to know you. I look back only actions from a mature standpoint and I understand that I was toxic. I would push you away when I was stressed, but I mainly did it because I was super scared of losing you. I loved you with all my heart. But I will also acknowledge the fact that you had difficulties understanding your own feelings. I apologize for my past actions, even if it doesn't change anything today. I wish I could just talk to you again, its weird to know that someone out there in the world that knew almost everything about me doesn't talk to me anymore. I will always be there for you, I just wish you knew how much I've changed.

I still love you... Im just afraid.. I dont exactly know why i am but I just want you too know that it wasn't your fault but mine....

we never left the talking stage but you gave me hope that you liked me back and when I admitted it to you, you switched up and embarrassed me

this is more of a “why would you do that to me” letter. you know what that boy did hurt me that night. what he said to me in front of those people hurt me and humiliated me. i may not be perfect but why call it out? and i know u defended me but why are you still friends with him? im sorry and i love you but i dont want to be friends with someone who is friends with the boy that humiliated me in front of people and made me cry. and not only that he told his mother that i was the problem. why does it always have to be my fault. im tired of it.

I’ve feel like I’ve finally lost feelings for you, and I think that’s for the better. I hope you have a good life. You deserve it.

There will never ever be another person in this world that can replace u. I love you so much Spaghetti

I know we’re just friends, but sometimes you make me feel like you care more about me than just friends, but then you’re cold again. You keep confusing me, just make up your mind. If you like me tell me, if not give me clear signs.

ik i ended things and ik i got what i signed up for when i did but just know part of me will always care for you

you had me, then u left..after a long time i finally got u out of my head :) then u came back and i havent been myself since

I didn't realize that I loved you until you were someone else's. I wish that I took the chance I had with you instead of ruining everything we had for us. I still love you though.

Chris, you left me when I needed you most you didn't believe me even tho you were there it hurts you were my best friend i love you but i hate the way you are.

You feel like home, when you get home from a vacation and you take that deep breath/sigh of relief because you’re able to finally relax. No matter who I try to replace you with, you will always be irreplaceable.

i literally defended you when everyone said you were bad for me, and they were right, but fuck, there's just something about you man..

i’ve always liked you since i had met you, something about how we laughed and joked about stuff always made me smile, you’re not super affectionate but when you where i’d always have a smile. i was always able to trust you and how you always defended me when i spoke to you about certain topics, but since that late night discussion it seems like i got to see the soft side of you and i loved you for it.
i really like you but i don’t know what would happen if it didn’t work out or if you even like me.

i hate that you are the only guy i’ve ever felt comfortable with and felt like i could be myself around

I thought we had feelings for each other, but in the end it was all a lie and you were just playing with my feelings. But i still loved you even though i knew what you were doing. And i lied to myself as well, thinking that i could have my happily ever after with you.

thank you for the memories we made together. you gave me an idea of what love and happiness felt like.

I spent hundreds of dollars on you. I gave you gas money, food money Bc you haven’t eaten that day. Heck I gave you grocery money and paid for your phone bill multiple times. I’m only 16 but I know for a fact all that was not necessary. Then you leave!!? What did I do wrong? Please tell me!? Idc that your talking to my friend. That’s all you ever where to me A FRIEND. But what did I do wrong for you to just block me on everything. I don’t think I did anything wrong.

I miss our friendship. You liking my friend has nothing to do with me IDC that you do. I hate this town and most people in it but you where diffrent.

i miss the way your lips felt on mine, i miss the way i felt safe while you were holding me, i miss how you would laugh at the stupid things, i miss the way my fingers felt while i ran them through your curly hair i miss the feeling of wanting to wake up just to read your good morning messages even on Mondays

why do i still miss you? youre a bad person, but you were the only one who made me feel loved and special.

you are my best friend, thank you for listening to me cry and ramble and scream over the stupid shit. You make me laugh and never fail to let me know that I am seen. I would be in a shitty place if it werent for you.

I trusted you an you broke me. I hope you enjoyed the time you had with me because you will never see me agian.

i still love you and its been 3 years but you have a new girl now and i wonder what it would be like if we were still together

fuck you. You made me feel unworthy of nothing. You made me feel as if I was a piece of shit. I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you. I asked if you still wanted to be friends when i noticed you were being distant. you said you cared. A week later we were arguing and you said I should be used to friends betraying and leaving me. You said that when you knew I was in a bad state of mind. you said you cared. you said you cared. i needed you. and you just left as if i wasnt really there. so yeah, fuck you.

i tried, i really did but i had things going on at the time... wish you the best but also wanna punch you yk

even though you've hurt me and I say I will never talk to u again, I lied. I still worry about u. take care of urself. talk to the people u love. i just want u happy.

You say that we're going to be together forever and you have no intention of ever leaving me. But we're still so young. It's going to hurt so bad when you eventually leave.

its been 9 months, and there isn't a day that goes by where i don't think about you. i miss you. deep down i still hope you'll come back.

i've come to terms with your faithless love. all the loose ends and untied knots. but nonetheless, it still aches.

i was so excited to see you play the sports you love so much, and i still am, i hope to look your name up on google in 10 years and see that you accomplished everything you would talk to me for hours about

i know you don’t actually like her, you’ve told me, stop acting. I hate both of you for what you’ve done to me but she doesn’t deserve to be treated like I was.

hey there. technically i barely know you and we've only been friends for a couple months, so there's no reason for me to start liking you yeah? but for some reason i started to smile at your messages and i didn't think that would ever happen. you're just being nice and all, so i shouldn't be falling for you. maybe i just have an issue with getting attached quickly. although if i were to ever figure it out and confess, i hope nothing changes if you don't feel the same. because if we ever stop being friends i'd prob be really sad bc you're really cool and i can talk to you normally even though i get embarrassed at times [but i don't tell you so uh] and y e a h. just gonna let you know, that you deserve frickin happiness and everything great, okay? now don't stay up too late :)

i’m definitely still in love with u, i swear i’d kill to hear your voice say my name.
-baby (or i once was)

the fact that you could get her matching rings one month in and you couldn’t even get me a hat says a lot

hey i know your going through alot right now but just know i love you even though you broke me and im still always here for you

It was all yellow. that was our song. we were perfect. sorry i couldn’t make you keep loving me. it hurts so badly.

you tried loving me before you loved yourself, it hurts so much knowing that you prioritized me before you even LIKED yourself. i miss you so much :/ you were there for me when i had no one but you and i can’t thank you enough for it. i’m trying my best to help you but it’s so hard, i’ve never been through this before. it’s new to me but i’m trying.

i hope you realize how much youve impacted my life. i cant wait to spend the rest of my days with you by my side

anche se mi hai peggiorato l’ansia, anche se mi hai fatto venire la depressione, vorrei sempre ascoltare sweater weather con te

you’ve filled my life with a new kind of love, one i never realized existed before you. i’m eternally grateful for you.