Unsent messages to CHRIS

i hate u. i don’t miss u anymore. i wish we never became close. and i never liked u. but i hope u miss me

You hurt me a lot but yet I still miss you. I know you’re focusing on yourself and I really had hope that we would never break up what happened to “I love youuuuuu Mamas with all of my heartt forever and ever and always” but obviously that wasn’t true huh cause you left my life but that’s okay. Just know I would have hugged you tighter on your birthday if I knew it was the last time I would see you. If we’re meant to be then we’ll be together later on in our lives. I hope so.

To the boy who left me when I needed him the most... Thank you for the memories and everything. I didn’t write your full name cause I know you don’t like it. Maybe in another lifetime dummy

Sometimes I still think about you, I've come to realise it was puppy love at it’s best. But damn was it exciting

I’m sorry for being so fucked up and always crying. I hope someday I can forget all of the shit that happened

You took away my childhood and dignity. You took advantage and now I can’t be around men without being on edge

I thought you were the one. But you weren't. You were the one that said you'd promise that you'd stay forever. So I agreed with the "promise". Sooner or later after many months on end and happy memories, You decided your time was up. You didn't love me anymore. The thing is after almost a year...I still kept my promise. Of course we still talk...but its not the same. I don't love you as much as I loved you before, but I still love you as a friend. Even though I'm in another relationship, I still miss ours. Especially our friendship.

you’re one of the most funny people i know, i think you’re wonderful and i love every moment i get to spend talking to you- don’t stress yourself feeling like you have to please everybody though, being genuine is what makes people truly happy but no matter what i’m always smiling when i’m with you, i love you ♡ t

Why? Why would you do that to me. We used to be friends, good friends. And you totally diserespected me in so many ways. And I’ll never forgive you for that. You need help, a lot of it. You changed so much I forgot who the old you was. The old you that was my friend. The old you who would cheer me up when I was down, have my back in any situation, listened to my problems. Not whoever this new chris is. Not whoever used me as a toy for his own pleasure. Who ripped the soul at me and just left it, stranded, lost, I’m still waiting for an apology....

i’ve never felt what i feel for you before. you don’t even know it, but you’ve changed my life so much.

fuck you. you're part of the reason I'm scared to be vulnerable and get into relationships. was it really worth it? fuck you you mike wazowski shaped fuck. i FORCED myself to like your ugly ass. and it was never even real. you and your friends made me feel like a fucking idiot. i thought i had actually found something. i hope you crash your fucking car that you're weirdly obsessed with. "something about her turned me off". no matter how much i hate it i will never stop thinking of that comment.

i loved you and got butterflies when we talked and then you disappeared. Along with the butterflies. now i feel pain when i see your name.

I still look at our Polaroid on the beach nestled in your handmade frame wishing I could be the sun kissing your hair

I wish you would have kissed me before he did. I regret not dating you more than anything in my life. Because I know you would have change it for the better :(
I hope you’re doing well I care deeply about you
Do you still wear white tee shirts everyday?

You made me believe in love again then hurt me just like every other guy. I guess it worked out in the end. I'm happily in love with someone else now and I probably wouldn't have been open to it otherwise. I hope you're doing alright, thanks.

You were the first and last person i ever opened up to. You saw my weaknesses and poured salt in my wounds.

A pesar de que tengas tu línea trazada nunca dejes nada de lado, tarde o temprano todo influye en tu camino

I thought that if you liked me you would pick me, regardless. But I can't let you be my everything if I was never your anything.

You're the best friend I ever had. I'm so sorry I can't love you like you love me. I miss you all the time.

i love you. you were my person. when i was talking to you the world stopped and nothing else mattered except you. my love for you is unreal. i care about you. i get jealous because i’m scared one day someone will make you happier than i did. i miss you so much christian oh my god. you’re the only person i want in this world. why cant we try to make this work? i don’t want there to be another girl out there who makes you smile and blush. i don’t want there to be another girl who makes you motivated to do your homework. i want to be that girl. i wanna be your dream girl. im afraid someone else is gonna get the “goodnight love you

We’ve known eachother since kindergarten and tbh I’ve always kinda liked you since then but everytime you seem to pick something or someone else over me. It’s like you think I’m not enough, well that’s ok because I know I am enough. So when you realize how much you’ve lost...go back to the things/people you picked over me and ask yourself if it was worth it.

i know we didnt work out and it wasnt meant to be but now that you found someone i wish you would know that i’m glad that you’re moving on and i’m happy for you. dont mess this up with her, dont repeat the same mistakes. do better, she might be the one even if i wasn’t.

I never meant to hurt you, in fact I prevented it from being way worse than it could've been, but no you still hold it against me to this day. Im sorry and I will say it a million times over and over again if I have to. The relationship probably wouldn't have lasted long anyways.

I didn’t mean it when I said I don’t think we can be friends. I didn’t think it could immediately end the way it did

You broke me down time and time again and yet I still ran back. It’s because of this hurt you caused me that I am so much better than I was before.

Fuck you, honest to god fuck you. I’m so fucking angry at you because we made a promise that above all, we would be friends. You’re the one who brought up hanging out back on the island. You’re the one who said to come to your house whenever. You’re the one who promised to be there until you realized being there required effort. The last day I saw you and all you said before you left was see you around wtf is that about? You are lying to yourself and me if you’re going to sit here and tell me this meant nothing to you. Congrats, you ruined the fucking friendship. I was in your bed having a full-blown panic attack trying to hide it, and instead, you made me feel like shit about it and proceeded to bang your head into a pillow and tell me to either calm down or go back to my dorm. You made me feel bad about something that was literally out of my control. You knew that the day before I was assaulted and my roommate literally confessed her feelings for me. I don’t expect you to have to take care of me, and I’ve made that abundantly clear, but if you had just let me sit there, I would have calmed down. It was a hard fucking day, and somehow you were the worst part of it. The way you handled everything sucked ass, and I know you’re going to boot camp, but that’s no excuse to be a shitty person. Just because you’re leaving and you close yourself off all of a sudden, it doesn’t excuse the fact that you hurt somebody and left without trying to minimize the damage. So congrats, I hope the sex was good. I want to be really clear that this isn't me being mad at you because I caught feelings, and I expect you to feel the same and not be a piece of shit. This is me being upset because we said above all we were friends and would stay friends. You ruined the friendship when you first kissed me and slowly chipped away at me ever since. Anyone with two eyes knew that you clearly cared about me. All your friends told me. How wrong were they? I gave you an out. You could have told me, let’s be friends since I’m going to boot camp, and I would have fully accepted that. Instead, you couldn’t handle it all and pushed me away. Well, congrats, you accomplished ur goal. You probably won’t respond to this text, and I’ll probably be labeled as crazy or whatever other adjectives you think fits. So, in that case, have fun at boot camp and have a nice life. Good to know I’ll just be another body on your roster. So take care. Sincerely whatever number under 10 that I am.

i still have your jacket, sometimes i can still smell your scent and it brings me comfort .i miss you but i know you’re happy and that’s enough for me.

You weren't my first love nor were you my last. But sometimes I wonder if you still think of me like I do you.

we meet on omgele, yea it was stupid ik but we weirdly clicked. you loved hearing about the different types of snow... goldie remeber goldie love yknow

no matter what happens between us tonight, i wouldn’t trade the last 4 years for the world. i love you forever and always.

I just want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t know what a relationship should be and honestly neither did you. But I’m sorry for not giving us the time to learn.

I am going to kill you. I am going to chew you up into little bits and mash your head against the pavement. I won't allow you to touch me again.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! You are a monster and I want nothing to do with you. I was a child, you fucking animal.

Please don’t hate me for blocking you. You leaving me was so painful that the only thing that could heal me was leaving too. The problem is that I will always love you.

I’m sorry I ruined us, I’m sorry I hurt you. I wish I could go back and undo the things I’ve done. I miss you every single day, but I’m happy to see you happy. I love you all, forever and always “chris toe fur” ??

hey lol i haven't stopped thinking about you since the last time we talked. i know u never did and especially don't now care abt me but somehow i fell for you so hard and we never even dated. this is embarrasing for me. anyway, sadly there will always be a place in my heart for the first boy i ever "loved" ig. take the word love with a grain of salt though because 1) idk what love is 2) how can u love someone u barley have expierence with. but whatever point blank is your a stupid teenage boy and im a stupid teenage girl who is hung up on u. uh bye now

we might have been perfect on paper, but the tears blurred what was written, and now i don't know you

sometimes I have these dreams of you cheating on me and I'm scared that they could happen. pls, tell me I'm just crazy.

I remember that yellow was your favorite color, but I never knew why. I do now - you're a fool's gold. I never got over you. I don't think I will.

I’m really sorry for hurting you so badly. I wish I could take it all back. I genuinely hope you’re doing well.

you came back. not the way I always hoped you would but you're still here. It was so weird laughing with you again and seeing you smile. I missed you more than I'd let myself admit.

There’s so much that I want to but will probs never have the ability to nor would you want me to I don’t think. Kicking you out of my life was the worst decision I ever made (and I don’t make a lot of them). You loved me more than majority of the people in my life did. You dedicated almost every hour of the day to me. You left your friends many times to just be with me. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever find someone who loved me as much as you did. I was also crazy about you but it was mutual like we only ever wanted to spend time together. At first after the breakup people told us it was toxic, but funny how they didn’t say anything during the relationship. I look back on it realizing we weren’t toxic. We were in love. But it wasn’t our time, the fact that I let you go for silly reasons or didn’t realize how much you loved me tells me I wasn’t ready for us. I needed to grow still. I needed to go into another relationship to see if anyone could love me that much and honestly they can’t. I still miss you to this day and it sucks. I hated you for about two months after we broke up but after that I started praying every night that you were happy and would find love again one day and no doubt you will. There’s so much to love about you and you give so much dedication to everything you do. I wish things could have gone differently for us because you truthfully are someone I miss and think about frequently. I should have never given in to someone manipulating me telling me you weren’t good enough for me, turns out that guy liked me and that’s why he did it. But I shouldn’t of been so stupid as to listened to it in the first place. You were my best friend, the person who made me laugh, the person who only ever wanted me to succeed and support me. When I thought I couldn’t do something you were stuck by my side until I did it. You pushed me to be better. Maybe the time apart was for a reason, maybe we will never get back together or maybe we will. But I needed the time after our breakup, I grew into a new version of myself, heck I am probs the most confident good looking person I’ll ever be. I have become so focused on me and I needed it, I’m so beyond successful now and figuring what I really want in life. And yeah, I may have all of that now but part of me still wants you in my life. I know you’re probs better off without me, but I’ve grown since then, I learned more about relationships. I needed time to grow and find myself and the breakup helped with that. Everyone told me what you were up to after. I hated myself for letting that happen to you, I wanted to be there for you but everyone told me I’d just make it worse. So I prayed you were happy every week, and I’m not that religious. For someone to have a connection like that in their life doesn’t come around a lot, or at least for me, but you made part of my life so special, every memory, every little bicker, laugh, smile, and time we spent was so memorable in my head as if I could make a movie out of it. And when I look back on it I smile. I smile which isn’t normal after a breakup. I smiled because you helped me realize many things, without you I would have been lost, I would have never realized what I needed to grow, or how to improve myself. I hope you miss me sometimes, but I also hope that you continue to make the most of your life, and that you continue to love others and use that brain of yours to make a difference. You are so beyond special and I hope you realize that, I wasn’t good enough for you then looking back on who I was, maybe I am now but by now it might be too late.

I'm so grateful for you. Thanks for helping me on homework and stuff. Anyways YeeHaaaa. And if I do imma miss you a lot

Thank you, thank you for the best year of life. For the best 8 months whilst being friends and for the best 4 months of us as maybe a little bit more than that. You were the reason i woke up in the morning, the reason i ate. The reason i went to school every day. Before you i was miserable, but when you came into my life it's like something in me changed. Before you i was a daisy in the middle of a harsh winter, and when you came into my life you were like spring. You brought the best out of me, you made me feel beautiful and you made me feel like i actually had a purpose in life. i know when you told me that i was the only thing keeping you alive i'd brush it off and i'd act like i didn't care.but i did, i promise i did. you meant the world to me, you were my bestfriend. Im sorry for not telling you how i truly felt before. i'm sorry for not telling you that i NEEDED you because i did. although we are no longer on good terms i won't ever stop loving you. thank you for taking me out of that dark place for that year. te amo. :')

I care for you, would do anything for you and love you so immensely it hurts sometimes, but you don't know it.

I was too young to know that I had actually fallen in love with you. It was always the little things that put me in a constant cycle of desperate hope, heartbreak, and self loathe. What my unrequited love for you made me realize was that I would never be enough. Even so, I truly loved you through and through. I remember the words I told a close friend at the beginning of my hopeless romance, “He means the world to me.” You really did, but I was just a speck to you. Meant to be forgotten. I loved you in an amount you could never guess. I loved you and you were never mine.

I wish I could erase you from my mind fully, ik you probably weren't but I thought you were my soul mate and sometimes I still do. When we broke up , a bit of me disappeared which made me so mad at myself because I know you already liked or loved someone else so my feeling were stupid and useless and I ruined everything by being a depressed bitch who couldn't let go of my problems. sometimes you cross my mind and I just try to push the thoughts away because I know you aren't thinking about me and probably haven't thought about me for a long time, I hope your doing well I don't think I ever really was able to fully thank you but thank you for trying to help me I'll always respect you for that :/

I dont understand,what happened..when you picked over me,when you promised,it would always be me,i loved you..i just wish i could tell you how much you meant to me

I'm sorry I told you I don't like you that way. I was just too scared to admit I liked you because I thought you didn't feel the same way. All I want is to give me an unblock so we can at least talk

You broke me. And I tried hating you but I care to much about you. I wish you could feel how much you hurt me...