Unsent messages to ANDREW

so this is really weird but you were my best friend in kindergarten until you just left without notice. i wanna find you. i miss you.

your name is still the first thing on my mind when i wake up, and the last thing on my mind before falling asleep

"The world was collapsing, and the only thing that mattered to me was that [he] was alive" -Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

It felt like the first time with you. Like everything was going to be okay again. Then it wasn’t.
I miss you.

Hey, me again i literally tell people that i am mad at you but then i find myself crying on your birthday because i forgot about it and it just shows how long i have gone without you in my life. You were my best friend and sometimes i wish i had you back

i love u , maybe too much . i can't tell if this is wht u want . it breaks my heart everyday knowing u might not love me back .

Hey Andrew, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve had feelings for you for awhile now, to be a little more specific, 3 years lmfao... idk if you ever noticed or something...I hope this does not change our friendship, or the way you see me...I obviously don’t expect you to feel the same thing for me, I just don’t want it to be awkward between us after this...this took me too much courage to tell you lmfao

everyday i wish i can go back in time and tell u everything u did to me so it can all be stopped before it had all happened

eat my ass, i hate u. even though we broke up in sixth grade and we’re sophomores now. still, shit hurts. and the day before halloween too. my fav holiday

I always wanted to tell you how I felt. We were best friends. We haven't spoken in years. I hope you still remember me.

I think about you constantly. It’s annoying. But I don’t think it’d be smart for us to date. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am

I know we just met and all but the connection we have is strong you should be falling in love with me not these other girls

Me llegaste a querer? Que hubiera pasado si no te hubiera apartado de mi lado? Echo de menos tu presencia.

I'm not sure what I did wrong...I tried to change myself for you. I tried to be everything you wanted and more but I guess you found everything you wanted in her. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. But I wish you the best. I love you forever and always.

although a very recent relationship i will always love you no matter what or future holds. you are my entire world and i hope i can continue to make you happy everyday because you deserve it more than anything.

when I first saw you, my mind was racing. you touched my hand and I fell in love. your girlfriend ruined it tho. I hate her

I'm glad I got the chance to meet you. You're a pretty special dude. I just wished you would've let me know your intentions instead of leading me on, it would've saved me a lot of heartache and questioning. But regardless, I know we didn't end on bad terms, at least not from my end. Hope all is well :)

fuck you for making me think i cold never love again. but thank you for teaching me how to love myself more and for being my first love.

i'm sorry for being a bad friend it's just i dont know. i feel annoying to everyone and i feel like everyone just you know hates me including you. i dont want to lose you though because, you've been on my side for so long and i dont want to lose another friend i care about. i just wanted to say, sorry for annoying you or bugging you, i just feel lonely sometimes, sorry if im ever annoying yk? anyway, i hope i dont make you feel boring to talk to, i guess.

Why did you have to be so rude after we both said it was over. Im sorry if i hurt you but you didn't have to hurt me like that.

Hey, I miss you so much you dont even understand. Im so sorry I broke your heart. If I thought I could go back or we could go back to how things were, I would but we cant. I dont want to risk getting hurt or hurting you again. Just know I love you. I've been in love with you for the last 9 months and I dont know that I will ever stop loving you. I should have said that earlier. I just love you so much I want you to kiss me and love me and hold me and be with me but you cant and its ok. I love you so much it hurts my heart to even say this but goodbye andrew, I hope you find someone good enough for you

honestly fuck u and the way u made me feel. why did u leave me that way. promise to never forget all the memories we had

dear andrew, thank you for being there when times were rough, and helping me through so much. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself and how to love someone else. although i never said it.. i loved you. thank you.

I wish I was good enough for you to to make me your girlfriend :( You call me "mi amor" and I love it but you want everything from me without the commitment.

You are amazing. Please keep laughing forever, it always brightens my day. I may not talk but I always listen and watch to everything around me, the stupid jokes and the sad times...or whenever you look sad. I wanna be there, every step, but I know that’s not possible, so live a happy life and do what you love

I had a dream about you last night and we finally parted ways. Feels crazy. I spent all that time obsessing over you and wanting to be with you or have that sense of knowing you liked me back that it consumed me. But last night I was set free. I let go.

It’s funny how you wanted me first and then left me and now all I have is memories stuck in my head but I’ve moved on I have but some day I miss what we had :/

I caught actual feelings for you and I loved how well we connected. I hate how you just ghosted me and we were once strangers again. Thank you for showing me that I deserve better and to never go for a man like you.

i honestly love u so much and you’re the only person i’ve ever done any of that stuff for and idek why i did bc i knew we would never work out and that we couldn’t be together but god i miss u so much and i just want that feeling again and for u to tell me everything’s gonna be okay and that you’re here but you’re not anymore and that’s the worst part and i miss u the feeling and the way u made me feel and i don’t believe that u could just change your mind that quick and go to someone else and u should’ve told me wau before you did and u know that and idk why u waited so long bc u knew the longer it would the more it would hurt me but ig now you don’t really care but

i miss the way my heart would skip a million beats a minute every time we would make eye contact. i miss u.

Something about you has kept me coming back for years, but it isn't good for either of us. I'll always care for you, but we really need to figure out our relationship before we hurt each other even more.

im sorry i made you feel unloved.. you just made me so fucking miserable that you made me scared to try. you admitted to me last second you gave up and you havent loved me for the longest time and have been talking to other girls. but why? why do you wait til the last second to tell me things like that.. WHY WONT YOU JUST TELL ME WHILE WE'RE TOGETHER? you always complain about me not putting in any effort but im not because youre not. Whenever i have tried to put in effort, you never returned the effort. EVER. even the last few weeks, ive been the only one putting in effort. you say youve done nothing wrong and im the bad guy. but you can not say that. youre a toxic, controlling BITCH. fuck you.

i know it’s time to give up on us. but it hurts so bad not talking to you.maybe we’ll meet in another life. i love you

i loved you but there was someone else. you left and i went back to him. i wish things were different

I wish we never gave up. if you ever said you wanted to give us a second try i’d be there in a heart beat

It hurts, terribly and overwhelmingly, yet my heart will not forget your name. I’ve found love again, as have you, but something tells me you’ll not forget mine either.

i am so confused on what we are. i wish you would just tell me if you want me or not because i can’t wait forever but if i have to, to see what we would be, i will.

i don’t know why i care so much. i usually don’t care at all really. but you could be the one to make me feel something after being numb for so long. i hope you’re worth letting my guard down for.

its been way too long but i can finally hear your name with out falling in love with you all over again

im so sorry. i love u so much. u dont deserve anything that i did to hurt u. i know u love me. i just cant love u back. im sorry.

i know we haven’t seen each other in a long time - but i still feel a connection.
is that weird? idk.

I cant tell if I was hard to love or easy to lose feelings for. either way, thanks for coming back only to leave again.

My world feels empty without your sweet voice or your warm smile. In the deepest of my heart, I still love u

you're not my first love. i fucking hate you. you ruined my life. i hope you see this. you british fuck

you were my whole world; and god, you still are. i wish i could go back in time and never let you go. i love you

andrew,
i am sincerely sorry for breaking ur heart. i really didn't mean to hurt u and i just wanted to let u know that i wasn't lying when i said i had feelings for u. its just that, we were moving so fast. u were the first boy i ever dated that actually loved me, and the first boy i ever dated that didn't cheat on me. i love u. bye.

I know you aren't ready but it hurts me to care so much about you. I'm proud of you and I want you to know that I will always care about you, even if we end up never talking again.

you never realized how insecure u made me when u talked about other girls in a better way than u talked about me and i don’t think you ever cared.

I miss you so much. we could've been so good together. I miss your laugh, your jokes your smile. I would do anything to see you again and just have a moment together. from our first adventure to my last day, you were my person. thank you for being my yellow & making my days better. I chose this colour for you because I know you have a hoodie in kelly green, its your colour:) anyways, I miss you so much and I hope we talk again soon.
xoxo, julia

you are so confusing. you’re hurting me and i don’t think you even know it. i care so much, but i know you don’t. i think about you a lot more than i should.