Unsent messages to AIDAN

please make someone as happy as you did for me. willing to make me laugh even when i didn't want to, give me motivation when i already told you i couldn't. but i want you to know why this relationship didn't work out was because it was you not me. those sleepless nights where i couldn't think couldn't even sleep, and you staying up with someone else rather than me? ik of those, those times where you were "busy." i wanna work on myself, before you come back. even if you still say we're dating, we're not. im in this relationship with me only now. please stop.

I know we didn’t end on the best terms but I just want you to know that you did nothing wrong. You were and are amazing. Best wishes ?

i still think about you every. single. day. i wonder what you think of me i miss the happiness that i felt when i was with you.

Why did I love you? Sixth grade seemed to have clouded all my judgment. Someone told me you liked me too, your friend. You were going to ask me out but decided against it because you thought I would say no. I was too young to be allowed to date. Maybe it could’ve gone on in secret. Oh, the love I had for you. It still lives at the science table we shared, where sometimes you would forget your pencil and I would lend you one. I’ve always hated science. But sixth grade it seemed to be my favorite class.

fuck you. fuck you for treating her like that. what the actual hell is wrong with you. i hope you die alone. you piece of shit. you really think its okay to treat someone like that? somethings actually wrong with your head man. i hope you burn in hell. :D

i knew something was there between us when we first met. but clearly i was just a joke to you. i miss you. i love you

please don't push me away. i know this could work and i don't want to let it go just yet when what we have could be great. please just try

you stripped me of any and all happiness. i just hope that one day i’ll feel something again and stop being reminded of all the bad things you caused.

you are so predictable. I knew you were gonna leave me; I saw all the signs, but I stayed because I wanted to be wrong. This was the 5th time you've done this to me.

I hate you. And I hate that I like you and you like me cause you're an idiot and I hate talking with you.

I think I’m in love with you. The thought of you consumes my mind every second and I can’t live without you

its been a week. it should have been our anniversary today. i really miss you. i still cant wrap my head around it dude. it was one sided i think, but i love you. i know youre not ready for a relationship but i wish you told me earlier, and i wish we could still be us. i really really miss you aidan. fuck you though. i feel sick everyday and cant eat. this is fucking me up dude. its saturday and thats usually our day. i should be at urs right now. please come back soon dude. i want to talk to you so bad but you dont want to. i miss you so much

I will always love you & I am always here. If you gave it a chance, I think we could be really good again.

I am so in love with you and the way you love me. You are the most genuine and beautiful boy inside and out. I fell in love with you because you never gave up on me or us. We will continue to do everything that happens together and I’ve never been so excited for my future until you. You made me happy to wake up and experience things. I love you endlessly.

i love Shrek's anal cavity so much. His rectum is just overwhelmingly smelling of rotten onions, and it turns me on so much. I love sitting in his G-Spot, gently rubbing it until i hear his Passengers leave the Swamp. It gives me an Onion-on everytime i feel his wet, gaping bottiehole sit on the outhouse, so I can just TAKE in the smell of old, decrepid feces combined with the slightly tangy sent of old onions, as if they were forgotten in the back of the fridge. It's so HOT when he goes pee, as I can hear his piss slam into the mouth of his one and only friend, Donkey's mouth.

i really did like you, but the timing just wasnt right im sorry.. maybe in a parallel universe we end up together lol

i never completely stopped loving you. and to be honest i was pissed at first. at the whole situation. the distance especially. but you weren't a bad person. you were great, seriously. and yeah, i do kind of miss you. anyways idk if you'll even see this, but if you do, yes. it is who you think it is. i hope you're alright ;)

I love you so much and im sorry for fucking it all up like I always do I hope you find someone better and I know you will cause I'm not anything and I know that I hope you the best and I hope you always stay happy my love. I love you to the moon and back silly goose

you’re a stranger now, though i’ve found peace in it. i hope you find peace in it too. i no longer know you, though i still have love for you. I hope you have love for yourself too.

you literally are the boy nextdoor... i want to get to know you again and meet you after all these years, but i dont know how to reach you...

I hate to be that bitch but I'm jealous of your girlfriend. you're literally everything I want and she swooped you off your feet. it hurts more knowing I had a chance bc you're bi. but I respect her and I'm here for you, even when I feel like giving up on us.

hi aidan. the last time i wrote something to you i addressed you just as the boy that i had a crush on for a few years. since then, youve gained my heart, we shared so many moments and i let you know things about me no one else ever will. but, you broke my heart. i know it was for your own good and that you arent ready to be in a relationship, but i really think we are meant to be, it only happened at the wrong time. maybe itll never happen again, but i wish to god it does. you mean everything to me and i just want to run my fingers though ur hair and scratch ur back while laying with u. i cant believe what has happened. its summer next week and i was so excited to share it with you, why did you have to wreck that? im sorry. i miss you so much already. please realise this. please dont leave me forever.

it has been three years. it took some time but the thought of you doesn't make me sad anymore. i wish we could talk though, we had an amazing friendship.

i might not have been good enough for you but in reality you aren't good enough for anyone. you don't deserve anyone, i get losing feelings, but not being able to tell someone you made out w their best friend, sent them nudes and god knows what else while you're still in a relationship, thats when i knew you didn't deserve me, but when you thought you hadn't hurt me enough and decided to date my other best friend, thats when i realized you don't deserve and never will deserve anyone else.

I mean, i want to be friends with you, but i don’t. I don’t want you to talk to me about “her”. i can’t handle my feelings when i’m around you. i’m not in control of my feelings, and i just need some time to think.

you have been my best friend for 4 years but i think i’m in love with you... but i dont want to ruin us.

fuiste el primero en darme tu amor y quiza el ultimo siempre te recordare no importa la distacia que hay entre nosotros cada dia pienso mas en ti y trato de olvidarte pero no puedo el amor que siento por ti es muy grande.
no se si pensar en ti es un pecado pero lo que si se es que TE AMO
DEMASIADO

Maybe I meant nothing to you, but you meant everything to me. I wish we could have been something more.

first up, i want to express how much i regret how i treated you. i reflected my pain onto you, and it was a selfish and greedy thing to do. i know i didn't act like it, but you were, and still are, the person i think about most. i dwell on my past mistakes every fucking night, and just think about how amazing we could've been if it wasn't for my stupid mistakes. i know we have both moved on since then, and i'm grateful we've remained friends, but when im around you i miss you so much more. i hate myself for saying shitty things to you, and i know i've apoligised and you've forgiven me, but my mind can't stop replaying moments we had, things you said to me. i'll never forget those memories. i loved how sweet and loving, yet funny and chaotic you were. i'm so sorry. i hope maybe one day we could try again, but i'm not sure if you would want that with someone like me.

what are we? are we anything? your overprotective but don't speak up about feelings,Well im hoplessly in love with you

i always really liked you, in 6th and 7th. i was little and didnt know what love was or how I showed. i think you liked me back when we "dated." i always was happy when i was with you even if i didnt show it. i wish i could go back and experience it over again. especially when we played basketball after school.

i am so in love with you... you’re the love of my life and i’m so happy that i found you when i needed you most. i love you my pretty baby

i got over you but i wish you liked me the slightest bit.i bet you thought it was a joke that i liked you so much to do anything for you

You are my twin flame, you are beautiful inside and out you opened up a new feeling that i will only get when I’m with you I love you so much life is precious with you and you only

Fuck you. You used and acted like you didn't want me, now that I've moved on you want me back? No. Fuck you.

you truly dont understand how much i love you. i know we are so young and that love is literally nothing to us, I feel a connection between us that ive never experienced before. im praying youre different than them. i hope that youll be the first ever person to pick me and not those pretty, skinny girls. you may seem like an ass to other people but i know for a fact you have a soft spot for me. so, in the slightest chance you see this, pls wait for me :(( i know we are so young and commitment is super hard, but i promise i will always be here, waiting for you to be ready. ilysm

I love you so much but I feel like you want something more than I can give I truly do care for you and want to give you the world so plz don't leave me

Now that we are together again, please don't hurt me the way you did before again. I can't go through that again.

Dear Aidan,

You mean the world to me. You really do.

Even if we end up miles apart, I’d still be okay with that if we kept in touch every once in a while. I’m glad that we both know that our friendship is the type where nothing changes even if we don’t talk for months. Relationships like that are so rare and I hope that wanting to preserve that isn’t just one-sided. I feel like you and I have something that doesn’t commonly occur- there’s just a bond that keeps us connected. I know you know this, but I do care about you a lot- not necessarily in the way that I used to, but I still do have that same level, just in a different context I guess. You’ve seen me in my somewhat highs and very low lows, and every time I needed a genuine friend, you’re always there. I can’t stress enough how much that means to me.

Every word you say to me is out of kindness and genuineness, with nothing more than the intent to make me better. From my “involvement” in petty drama to struggling with establishing an identity, you always somehow manage to say the right words. It’s funny that I never listen to you, until I learn my lesson the hard way and realize that you’re always right when it comes to that. Seriously, I don’t know what I would do without you. You are too kind to me, too good of a friend, and I feel like I can’t do anything to pay you back in the same way. I just hope that you actually care as much as I’d hope to think you do. I know, sometimes I can be a pain in the ass. But you are someone I want to genuinely keep in my life regardless of where our paths may go.

I feel that strongly because of a multitude of instances, but one sticks out in particular that happened recently. At our school’s foco, I had a breakdown in the restaurant bathroom from social anxiety. I felt like a shadow the whole time I was with my group, and every time I felt like I wanted to say something, it just wouldn’t come out the way I wanted it to. I know it isn’t true, but that evening I just felt that the whole world’s eyes were judgingly rested upon me. We spent that afternoon getting ready at a girl’s house I barely knew, and I felt so out of place there being the only one that didn’t know the other two “new” girls there. I felt overwhelmed and forgotten, because everyone was so focused on themselves, the foco, and chatting with the other girls that I convinced myself they all didn’t truly acknowledge I was there. I felt awful that day. It was only until we arrived to Tyler’s for the after. The moment I saw you, everything I was ever stressed about an hour ago just faded away, and I physically felt my whole body relax from tension. The few seconds that we hugged was the happiest I was that night. I instantly forgot about every worry I made up in my mind that day, and I knew that the rest of the night would be okay.

You hold a lot of power over me, considering those circumstances. I find a relief in you that not even my friends could satisfy. Just from seeing you, a wave of calm instantly crashed over me and I forgot about the worries I created in my head. Some say that you only get a feeling like that when you meet your soulmate. I know you probably don’t agree with that (considering you’re still dating Lilly), but in my opinion, maybe not all soulmates are meant to be in a relationship. Call me crazy, but I’ve been getting into astrology lately (although I still have a lot to learn), and our two charts are actually very similar. We both have cancer moons, which means that we are both considerate, caring, and sensitive to others. That actually explains a lot, given that you always tend to get me back on my feet and I know I would do the same for you. We also both have the same temperaments, outlooks, and perspectives on life. This allows us to feel at ease with the other, and I really cherish a friendship like that.

I hope that whatever happens when we leave for college, we still get to stay in touch. Even now (and probably even more so in college), I still hope for the occasional snap from you. Although I always feel like I’m the one starting the conversations, I can feel that what you say is always genuine. You have made an impact on my life that I am thankful for, and for that reason, I hope that my life will naturally take me in a direction where I can keep you in it. I know we aren’t the bestest of friends, but I am so happy that we can still have an occasional talk as if nothing has changed.

I wish I could tell you how much you actually mean to me. Seriously, you’ve picked me up off my feet more times than we could count together. You’re one of the few that make me feel comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. There’s a part of me that still hopes for the day that we would end up together, but the rest of me knows that it would happen if life takes us that way. Please, for the sake of all the things you’ve done for me, never change who you are and how much you care for who you care about. The genuine comments and compliments you give me could only make up a fraction of how kind you actually are.

I appreciate that you continue to apologize for hurting me even though I tell you it’s okay. That just shows me that you really do care about my feelings. I actually find it quite adorable that you still look for forgiveness from me, but I hope that every time I answer it gives you a sense of closure. Please know that you could never hurt me (unless you go too far). I care about you too much to let you go. Thank you for being this kind of person for me.

You mean more to me than I could ever put into words.
One day I will say that to you.

EB

you honestly make me realize there's more to live for in life. thankyou for saving me without knowing it.

You tell me you have thought about me so much since we stopped speaking. I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you

I hope you're doing ok... I miss you. I'll never forget what you made me feel and how I haven't ever felt that way since.

I really don't know what went wrong between us. Sometimes I still wonder if you had texted me back that day, would we still be together?

I never knew I could hate someone but be so in love with someone at the same time. I hate you. I hate that I kissed you again. I hate that I have feelings for you. I want a fucking apology but I know I'm never going to get one and that KILLS me. Yet I still want you to come back?? Why? What is so special about you? I know you will always have feelings for Paige and I don't even think you ever had as strong of feelings you had for her as you had for me. But how is she better than me? I have given you all the love in the world while she just used you. Something you both have in common I guess lmao. Welp I guess idk what even will come for us in the future. bye aidan

I think I screwed us up, and I'm sorry I didn't know how to show that I loved you, even though I did.

i loved you, i really did. we were too young to ever know what we had was something special but still to this day i miss you.

thank you. you taught me how to love and brought me close with the people that I know will forever be in my life.

All I wanted was to be posted and loved..and you showed the confidential pics instead of normal ones..did you really love me or my body?

Some days I wonder if you even think about me the same way I think about you. It sucks and i miss you.

i miss my friend. this past year has been hell and i want nothing more than to be able to tell you about it. i guess everything happens for a reason, but i wish it didn’t. you’re smart and funny and so loyal and one of the best friends i ever had. you knew me so well, better than almost anybody im friends with now. i miss u like hell. i should have been better to you. i was young and i was scared but i’m still sorry. thank you for everything. i hope you’re doing well. you deserve everything good.