Unsent Messages

first up, i want to express how much i regret how i treated you. i reflected my pain onto you, and it was a selfish and greedy thing to do. i know i didn't act like it, but you were, and still are, the person i think about most. i dwell on my past mistakes every fucking night, and just think about how amazing we could've been if it wasn't for my stupid mistakes. i know we have both moved on since then, and i'm grateful we've remained friends, but when im around you i miss you so much more. i hate myself for saying shitty things to you, and i know i've apoligised and you've forgiven me, but my mind can't stop replaying moments we had, things you said to me. i'll never forget those memories. i loved how sweet and loving, yet funny and chaotic you were. i'm so sorry. i hope maybe one day we could try again, but i'm not sure if you would want that with someone like me.