Unsent messages to MORGAN

I feel like we are going in the wrong direction sometimes like we have a on and off friendship and there is always something and everything always leads back to me being the bad guy and I try but y’all expect to much from me and when I have like more than 3 people coming at me at one time I get overwhelmed and I know I can be wrong sometimes and I know I’m not the only one but whenever me or chase mess up you guys come after us the most but if you or Lawrence or Amarie mess up than it’s not that big of a deal and y’all are friends again in 3 minutes I see the favoritism in the friend group and it’s messed up and why did you and Amarie have to bring Harper and her friends into this I don’t care it’s not their business and stop trying to force me to talk to them I don’t not like them and I never liked Owen and finn even when me and Harper were friends I don’t want to be her friend and you guys don’t get that I am so done I trusted you and you broke my trust even tho I am mad I would never tell anyone or show anyone things you trusted me with do you understand how humiliated I was but you think it’s funny you made me feel stupid I was completely honest with you and I thought you were honest with me because that’s how friendships work but apparently not you don’t know me and you have no clue what I been through. And can we please stop bringing stuff up on the past that was already resolved or we decided to move past because that does not make things any better what’s in the past should stay in the past and when we are arguing you shouldn’t bring those things up goodbye

I wonder if you ever really loved me like you said you did because you dropped me so quickly but i couldn't ask you to wait for me.... I sort of think im ready to love you now but its too late

there is a little chair and table in my heart. there is a sign on the wall that says your name. there is a plate of cookies on the table. all littered with dust. waiting for you to come back and clean it all up.

thank you for saving me. i really wish you had loved me back instead of my best friend. I think we could have lasted forever. I'll never forget you...

Why did you just stop talking to me? Did I do something wrong? Sometimes I think I miss you but then I remember being with you made me worse. I hope you're doing okay now x

i love you so much and im sorry. i hope we can get beack together one day. youre all i ever wanted and you desrve the world

i don’t get why you push me away. just give me a chance? i wanna be your best friend again. i wanna laugh at 12am about things we don’t even care about. please, give me a chance. i love you.

i don’t think you’ll ever know how much i loved you ever and i have to live with that now i could never tell you how i really felt because i didn’t want to ruin what we had

Maybe in another universe. I am running out of excuses to text you. I just started to forget about u and everything we’ve been through until recently. I wish I could go back to how it was or i could forget you again.

it always felt like we could’ve been more but i don’t think you even thought about liking me like that

I let go of what is holding me to you, I let go of replaying the past. I’ve learned from this, and now I let you go. I am a better person because of the breakup, and it has taken me a long time to get here. But, it is the last time that I will be, because you no longer have the power to hurt me anymore.

Thank you for teaching me how it feels to be loved and its okay to grow out of love. You’ll always have a place in my heart.

why? you pinky promised. I asked you so many times and you lied. why? often I tell myself you don't even love me anymore. I deserve so much more than this but I stay. I have no trust for you anymore. I dont think I ever will, you've broken my trust and me too many times.

you were my first real bestfriend. i miss the old you, but i know she's long gone, sometimes i still think about how it would be now.

i’m still trying not to fall for you again, i think i’ll be okay because i know how badly it would hurt if i did but i’m so scared i might.

u rly suck but thank you thank you for everything it really means a lot to me i’m sorry i’m a dick sometimes but i truly do love you and appreciate everything ur amazing don’t ever forget that ?



love ur favorite izzy :))

what's good lmao idk how you've put up with me for 11 years straight, but there's no one else i would have as my best friend

i hope you're well. i've been thinking about you a lot lately. i feel like i could've ended it in a better way, i acted in a horrible way and i miss you, it would've been our 1 year soon. why are you on my mind???

I miss you so much. I never saw what was there in front of me and I'm scared it's too late. You are awesome and the funniest person I know. Sorry

This is for you, read it. You know that many Morgans may read this but it’s for you. Don’t doubt that it’s not for you. You know it is. If you are even for a second doubting that it isn’t for you (I know you are), then you’re wrong.

New Years is less than two weeks away. If you do not make a move to reach out and talk (it’s your turn since it’s only fair) I will get blackout and remove any feelings for you. I’m not saying to text or to call me, but I am saying that this is the last time I will respond.

So, yell at me, talk about fixing things, whatever the hell you need to do to move on, because these are the last two weeks that you will get the chance to let it out

hey lol, I wish u didn't leave. even after you promised we wouldn't drift away its sad that we did. I miss you but I don't wanna be pushy

i find it soo soo sad that you pretend to hate people to gain friends. you said you didnt like them to me but the next time you were slagging me off to them RIGHT behind me ? at first i was sad but now honeslty, i dont give A FUCK. the universe really saved me by showing me your true colours. i wish you the best in life. i hope you soon realise that having lots of friends does not matter and that having close friends who actually care matter. goodbye

I'll wait for you, I will.
I'll count each day and mourn every evening.
I'll keep my heart closed and my eyes open.
I'll keep you in my heart, I will.
I'll toughen my skin and keep my posture.
Return to my arms and let me hear your heart once again.

I miss you I miss you I miss you. Please come back soon, you helped me find platonic love again after I lost it for so long. I'll hold you in my heart forever.

i know what i did was the lowest of the low and i’ll forever be remorseful. but i wish you would stop hurting me back. stop coming into my life again and getting my hopes up just to leave and send me back to square one. i’m trying so hard to forget you. i’ve spent months not eating and crying myself to sleep over you and the situation. it’s making me feel crazy. clearly i can’t let this go so i need you to do that for me. as much as i wish it was different and hate to admit it i know we’re not meant to be

Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay. Some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.

It lasted three weeks before the tables turned. But in those three weeks, you made me feel like I've never felt before.

Hi :) I was just thinking and you popped into my head. I was thinking of two years ago, we did some little thing like hugging before a test simply because we could. I smiled when I thought of it, which kind of surprised me. Im at the stage where I no longer feel hurt really, and I look back and appreciate what we had and who you were in my life. Things weren’t ever perfect, but they sure were good at times, and I am no longer hit with a heartache when they pop up. I just smile. I think I’m at peace, or at the very least finding that for myself. You had probably one of the biggest impacts in my life, and I’m thankful for that, even if it wasn’t for the best. Things changed over time, we changed, and so did our relationship. And that’s okay! We truly destroyed each-other in the end, but in a weird way I’m happy you did that.

So, Morgan, thank you. For the good and for bad (there was a ton of it the last year but that’s beside the point), thank you

You were my first love, thank you. It hurt when it was over but maybe one day we can achieve the promises we made

i just wanna sneak out and smoke weed with you at the top of the hill at 3am while watching the stars

Hey resident homophobe. How’s it going? Guess what, you’re an asshole. They aren’t over it yet and never will be

why did you have to leave when i got used to having you around? i miss you and wish you didn’t walk out like that.

I was too late. I should have told you earlier and then we would be together and you wouldn't be dating this other guy.

you mean so much to me and the only one who really cares...thank you for everything, ur too good for me

you truly broke me but also showed me what love is. i’ll never understand what i did to deserve the hate from you, and that’s what destroys me the most.

you are my person. it’s never been anyone else but you. i wish you nothing but happiness and i hope someday we can be together. i love u infinitely.

You were my first bestfriend. When we fell apart in 6th grade I felt like i lost a huge piece of me. I was depressed for almost 2 years because of it. I still love you and you will always have a piece in my heart along with all the memories I hope we find eachother and repair what we broke. Miss you

I wish you wouldn't lie to me about everything. We were supposed to be best friends but why couldn't you just be yourself. You were the one person I felt like I could be 100% around. I just wish you would reach out to me sometimes.

I wish you would notice how I look and talk to u. I know that I have definitely got the wrong idea in the past and I know a few other people have too, I even told my mum I thought u liked me and I liked u too and now every time shes sees u she tells me she has and it hurts because I know it won't mean very much to you as you don't fell the same way, but I just wish u would understand how much I care for u but can't express it. I don't know if u notice me staring from across the room sometimes but sometimes I hope u do because I know ill never be brave enough to tell u how I feel unless u tell me first. I think I am too unsure of myself to do so. I hope that one day u do notice me looking at u or u can see the enjoyment I get from our conversations because I don't know what I would do if nothing happened at all.

you made me question everything, made me feel worthless. Now I realize you are the damaged one not me

hearing the things you said about me broke my soul.. you said you didn't mean them but I fear I'll never trust again

i've never loved someone as much as u, all i want is to be your boy, and u to be my purple forever. i love you morgey

I’m unblocking your number and maybe other things. If you want to reach out, the balls in your court. I have no idea why I’m doing this

Yeah this is to you, READ IT. Fuck I need to stop checking this website because I feel like I’m being shot every time I read the purple ones (those have to be yours, I just know it) even though I’m in a good place, I still feel just gutted when I hear the horrible things you say. I’m gonna be honest, I knew that things weren’t going to work for a while but I still clung on because I was scared of loosing you. I guess now I know that I didn’t loose you? I was kinda gaining myself back in a weird way. Even though we just tore each other apart, I was unable to let go of us and walk away. I think it’s honestly because I realized that I had feelings for you at some point, and that’s why I never left. Which, by the way, was a very very very recent discovery. I guess somewhere along the way you went from the person who made my heart so full like it was going to explode, to the one who made me feel physically sick every time I hung out with you, the one who I just felt empty around and drained. No matter what I tried, I was just sucked deeper and deeper but I still clung on even though you were hurting me so bad, because I never wanted to give up. I apologized for everything always, I avoided talking when I had an issue (except for that one time lol), I blamed myself for everything, and I literally begged for the bare minimum. (I know you did too) My own issues at the time were at its peak, and I never knew how to handle it, and it spilled over into how I treated people. That doesn’t make it okay though. I know I was way too clingy and I let my own anxious behaviors grow Into this huge mess that just drained everyone around. I guess I find it funny how you blame me for friends supposedly walking away. I’m not saying that you’re wrong, because You can’t tell me how your actions affected me, just like how I can’t do the same for you. But I do have to say, friends don’t just “leave” because of what one person says, there’s always much more behind it, their own personal experiences included. You’re so quick to blame everyone else, too quick to hold grudges and refuse to even hear someone else’s side that you are living in a world of them vs me. Now that’s just my view on it, take it leave it I don’t care. I’m not here to tell you your mistakes. But I am saying that it’s never a “fault” one way or another, and that at some point you need to own up to your actions as well. I let go of everything man, like, I had a whole mindset change and I feel happy and proud of where I am. What helped me get there was to accept and listen to what I was feeling, and to really just do inner work. Now this may sound cheesy and like I’m writing it to prove something, but I really recommend everyone do it, it helped me to learn about my own patterns and my worst parts about myself.

I felt like I was walking on eggshells (overdone phrase but it fits) all the time, and that there was always something that I was doing wrong, something that you were upset for. I doubted myself and my own side of this for the longest time because of that. Again, I’m not here to “call you out” or blame you, this is simply how I felt. I’m really appreciative of what we used to have, and how things were when things were alright . I learned genuinely so much about myself these last few months, and even though you had no part in it, thank you? You did it for yourself obviously, but walking away from this was the best thing that could’ve happened, genuinely. I don’t care I realize if you read this, you probably wrong or think it’s not for you. You can hate me, think I’m a shitty person, tell everyone how horrible I am, and I’ll be fine with that, truly. I know you think I’ve done that to you, but in reality I haven’t talked shit. Of course I have talked to one or two people, but never about how you’re “a shitty person” it’s always been about how it hurts to not have you in my life sometimes, and kinda how I’m happy it did happen, because were both better from it. I have no reason to focus on what you’ve done, that’s out of my control, so I’ve redirected that effort into myself.

I was toxic. You were toxic. (Ugh I hate using that word) Together we just amplified each others shit at time. Doesn’t make any of what we both did or said okay though. I think space was exactly what was best for both of us. But now I wonder, do I really want you back? Or am I thinking of what things might’ve been or could’ve been. I’m worried that if for some reason we were ever around eachother, that things would just go downhill. I don’t want to be around people who are full of hate anymore, I dont want to be that kinda person anymore. I got sick of my own bullshit this august-September and got my life together. I stopped letting myself treat myself this way.

People come and go in our lives for a reason, I used to laugh at that. But now I know it’s true? Genuinely? I know my personal values now. I know how to set boundaries and respect others, including my own. That is why I am never reaching out to you, or pursuing anything involving you again. If you ever want to yell at me, talk to me, for some god forsaken reason get “closure” (I tried forcing it before, never works) you are making the move. That said, I don’t want someone in my life who hates me as much as you do. I’m not saying that you’re wrong for feeling that, no not at all, but I don’t want to talk to you when your heart is so angry that you are blinded to everything else.

I used to cry everyday, I used to breakdown after hearing your name. I don’t anymore.

I was wondering, do you have that picture of us from the zoo? I still have it. Please don’t get rid of it, even if you hate me.

i didn’t trust anything before i met you and you made me feel alive after i was dead for so long. i love you, you and your beautiful eyes, coot nose and gorgeous face and hair and hands i want to hold forever.
i love you Morgan!

i wish i could show affection better. i wish you could know how much you mean to me. you're the only girl i think about. i haven't looked at anyone the same since i met you. but all good things come to an end. so i'll enjoy this while i have it.

i hope you realize how much i truly care about you. i want you to be okay and happy. i wish i could take what you're feeling away but we'll get through this together. you're perfect and i dont deserve everything you do for me. I've had trust issues in the past and tbh i'm scared, so scared you'll find somebody new, somebody who can fix how you feel. i hope i'm that person, i know i am. without you i might as well be better off not existing. everything i am is because of you, you teach me so much every day and i coudn't ask for anyone better to be with me. i love you forever no matter what.

You never knew how much I truly liked you. I told you I liked someone else just to cover it up. Looking back at it, I was so obvious. How couldn't you tell?

You were my yellow, but then I messed everything up, I know what I did was wrong. Im just glad we aren't talking still,my mental health has been sooo much better

hey im sorry for everything that leaving you on delivered and opened but you really hurt me and i still need time to myself and idk i hope everything is well