Unsent messages to MORGAN

I know we only met for a weekend but I feel like we really connected. We stayed up talking one night about our lives and what we wanted our futures to look like and they matched up perfectly. We both want the same thing and I want to ask you out but there are a few things that make me think you wouldn't say yes that are holding me back from doing it.

You are quick to call me manipulative and shitty, and I understand and agree with many of your points. But you look over how you were just the same.

although i don’t love you anymore, ive never been able to find a hand that fits mine as well as yours did.

If ever we meet again in the future, I will tell you 'everything' but right now, the timing is not right.

I still have all your favourite cds at home if you want to collect them there getting dusty I haven’t touched them in four years

sometimes i like to pretend we're still together. i still squeeze my pillow and pretend it's you. but then i remember and i let go. can't seem to let go of you, though.

I wonder how you’re doing occasionally. I hope you’re doing good, really. I want to thank you? This is weird lol, but seriously. I Learned a whole lot and you helped me grow when we were younger. Things weren’t good for a long time, but I still would’ve had that over nothing I guess. I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in my entire life right now. I am at peace with everything and I’m so proud of where I am now. I hope you’re in that place too.

I really don’t hate you. Seriously. I don’t think I ever could hate you. Regardless, it still hurts to hear from others the things you say about me. I don’t care if you hate me, I just need to make up your mind on me

I really don’t hate you. Seriously. I don’t think I ever could hate you. Regardless, it still hurts to hear from others the things you say about me. I don’t care if you hate me, I just need to make up your mind on me

I hate how you think I was the only toxic person in this. I definitely was at times, but you certainly were too. You only are able to see my faults but never your own. The stuff I’ve heard you say about me used to be heartbreaking. The levels of trust broken by both of us, I honestly don’t know if they can be fixed. If me being the only “bad guy” in this helps you move on, them by all means, go for it.

I gave you all I had to make sure you were okay, that I lost myself in the process. Now that you’re gone, I am too.

sometimes I wish I knew how I felt about you...I know I love you as my bestest friend but there is always that little piece of me that will always love you in a different way too ):

sometimes I wish I knew how I felt about you...I know I love you as my bestest friend but there is always that little piece of me that will always love you in a different way too ):

I’m so scared you will start not liking me because you are genuinely one of the best things that has happened in my life so far

I’m truly sorry how how I acted, and how I treated you. It wasn’t right at all. I’ve recognized my patterns, and I’m changing them. I am glad you hate me. This whole thing, it was terrible for both of us

i wanna marry you but i’m so terrified of things not working out. i don’t know how to live without you

I put more effort and love into you than you ever did for me, and you just fucked my emotions uo simply because you could

I still like you and haven’t stopped since sixth grade. I want you in my life and i hope you can give me a second chance

I take it back, you suck. You never can handle being wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault, you blow up for no reason all the time and refuse to communicate and hold grudges forever

I don’t hate you but I don’t know if I feel anything positive related to you either. I’m weirdly indifferent if that makes any sense. I used to be heartbroken for a bit, but I’m so much better now. When everything fell to shit and you ended things, I was devastated, I was convincing myself that I was fine, but now I think that I really am. It’s like waves man, sometimes it’s terribly low, others I feel fantastic. Recently I've been feeling great more times than not. But it has nothing to do with you. I’ve started a process of healing and growth, I’ve come to accept and admit my shortcomings and unhealthy patterns, I’m fixing them, and I’m becoming a person that I’m proud of. In a cliche way, I feel like I can breathe, I’ve cut out a lot of negativity in my life, and I’m learning more about who I am every day. I don’t want to be the person that I was before, I hated how I felt about myself and how I had little control over my own issues and let them affect others. But now I’ve worked through a lot of major issues, I’ve healed many things from my past, and I’m genuinely happy and I love it.

Personally, I don’t give a damn whether you hate me or not, it’s justified, but regardless it’s out of my mind. I’m learning to genuinely love myself and others, I’m setting boundaries that I didn’t have before, so that I don’t let people walk all over me. I’ve come to terms with a lot of stuff that happened to me as a kid, and how it affects me now, and what to do about it. (Also, I heard you say shit about me lying about all of that. All I can say really is that I Never was. I could try to convince you, but I don’t owe that to you nor do I need you to “believe me” fuck off with that)

I now know why I acted they way I did. I never realized how anxious I was all the time, how afraid I was that everyone secretly hated me, or was going to leave. After talking to professionals, we had a lot of interesting things come to light, but in particular my history of anxious attachment. Basically that means that I would always seek out validation and affirmation that my relationships with people were actually real, that they cared, and constantly was afraid that everyone would eventually leave me. I was also made aware of my habits with unhealthy and damaging relationships. Even though I was miserable, I was never able to speak up and explain when something seriously hurt me, because I didn’t want them to hate me. I would always take blame no matter what, and I was really paranoid. Which is why when it came down to you saying enough is enough, I was upset, even though I knew this had been coming for many months. I kinda wish I were the one to end things just so that for once I could feel a semblance of control, but I know I never could’ve in that mental state, so in a way it was a very wonderful thing that it was you. Also, you should’ve been more clear with how you ended things. It was all on your terms, you made it clear but not clear enough what you wanted, and I wish you could’ve done that better. “We vibe but we don’t vibe as often” that was dumb. Tell me straight up whether you want to talk in the future or not. I didn’t understand that was a nice way of letting things go, so I tried for like a week until I just was done. If you ever want to talk to me, you are going to have to reach out, because it was /you/ who ended things. I think that’s only fair. But to be honest I doubt there would even be a point. It’s weird, you’re like a stranger that I know so much about. I doubt things right now could feel anything but just weird.

In general, we both deserved better than that whole last year. I was at the tipping point for a whole personality change and serious changes, and I think you were the tipping point, which in a way sucks, because you inadvertently are connected to my progress.

I spent a lot of time placing my worth into others opinions of me, but now I am overcoming that very nicely.

I don’t think I have anything to say to you. I’ve never been mad, at myself? Maybe, but not you. I don’t know if I miss you though. I think I used to, but I miss the good Memories and shit, not the empty feeling where I’m gutted every time I would see you. I felt like a shell of myself and eveything was forced between us for a long time, we both know that. I don’t think it really was either of our faults in that aspect, I think we just outgrew eachother, We really just didn’t work anymore like we used to. Even though that hurts to think about. But not eveything is permanent, in fact nothing is, which is why thats okay. I can be upset for all the relationships I’ve ever lost, or I can appreciate what I had in them and what I’ve gained from them. I’m at peace, I’ve let everything go. I think one of my best signs of progress was not only seriously accepting and working on my issues, but also realizing how seriously hurt I felt by what you did so so many times. That helped me move on because I blamed myself for a lot of things, but I no longer do that. It was 100% both of us, even if we wouldn’t want to admit it.

This all feels a bit cold and harsh now that I’m reading it, but it’s really not that t all. I really did care so much about you, you were someone I thought would be around forever, and I loved you like a sister. I don’t know how I feel now, it’s just kinda grey, which makes no sense I know, I just know that I have never had a grudge, and that I hope you do well in life. Wow this is dramatic lmao. Honestly if you ever needed me in the future I’d still probably be there.


I don’t want to ever write another of these, because I owe it to myself to make changes for me, and I guess I am just using this to bounce ideas off of.

Damn, this was wild. If anyone’s reading this, that’s on you, because this was hella long

I don’t hate you but I don’t know if I feel anything positive related to you either. I’m weirdly indifferent if that makes any sense. I used to be heartbroken for a bit, but I’m so much better now. When everything fell to shit and you ended things, I was devastated, I was convincing myself that I was fine, but now I think that I really am. It’s like waves man, sometimes it’s terribly low, others I feel fantastic. Recently I've been feeling great more times than not. But it has nothing to do with you. I’ve started a process of healing and growth, I’ve come to accept and admit my shortcomings and unhealthy patterns, I’m fixing them, and I’m becoming a person that I’m proud of. In a cliche way, I feel like I can breathe, I’ve cut out a lot of negativity in my life, and I’m learning more about who I am every day. I don’t want to be the person that I was before, I hated how I felt about myself and how I had little control over my own issues and let them affect others. But now I’ve worked through a lot of major issues, I’ve healed many things from my past, and I’m genuinely happy and I love it.

Personally, I don’t give a damn whether you hate me or not, it’s justified, but regardless it’s out of my mind. I’m learning to genuinely love myself and others, I’m setting boundaries that I didn’t have before, so that I don’t let people walk all over me. I’ve come to terms with a lot of stuff that happened to me as a kid, and how it affects me now, and what to do about it. (Also, I heard you say shit about me lying about all of that. All I can say really is that I Never was. I could try to convince you, but I don’t owe that to you nor do I need you to “believe me” fuck off with that)

I now know why I acted they way I did. I never realized how anxious I was all the time, how afraid I was that everyone secretly hated me, or was going to leave. After talking to professionals, we had a lot of interesting things come to light, but in particular my history of anxious attachment. Basically that means that I would always seek out validation and affirmation that my relationships with people were actually real, that they cared, and constantly was afraid that everyone would eventually leave me. I was also made aware of my habits with unhealthy and damaging relationships. Even though I was miserable, I was never able to speak up and explain when something seriously hurt me, because I didn’t want them to hate me. I would always take blame no matter what, and I was really paranoid. Which is why when it came down to you saying enough is enough, I was upset, even though I knew this had been coming for many months. I kinda wish I were the one to end things just so that for once I could feel a semblance of control, but I know I never could’ve in that mental state, so in a way it was a very wonderful thing that it was you. Also, you should’ve been more clear with how you ended things. It was all on your terms, you made it clear but not clear enough what you wanted, and I wish you could’ve done that better. “We vibe but we don’t vibe as often” that was dumb. Tell me straight up whether you want to talk in the future or not. I didn’t understand that was a nice way of letting things go, so I tried for like a week until I just was done. If you ever want to talk to me, you are going to have to reach out, because it was /you/ who ended things. I think that’s only fair. But to be honest I doubt there would even be a point. It’s weird, you’re like a stranger that I know so much about. I doubt things right now could feel anything but just weird.

In general, we both deserved better than that whole last year. I was at the tipping point for a whole personality change and serious changes, and I think you were the tipping point, which in a way sucks, because you inadvertently are connected to my progress.

I spent a lot of time placing my worth into others opinions of me, but now I am overcoming that very nicely.

I don’t think I have anything to say to you. I’ve never been mad, at myself? Maybe, but not you. I don’t know if I miss you though. I think I used to, but I miss the good Memories and shit, not the empty feeling where I’m gutted every time I would see you. I felt like a shell of myself and eveything was forced between us for a long time, we both know that. I don’t think it really was either of our faults in that aspect, I think we just outgrew eachother, We really just didn’t work anymore like we used to. Even though that hurts to think about. But not eveything is permanent, in fact nothing is, which is why thats okay. I can be upset for all the relationships I’ve ever lost, or I can appreciate what I had in them and what I’ve gained from them. I’m at peace, I’ve let everything go. I think one of my best signs of progress was not only seriously accepting and working on my issues, but also realizing how seriously hurt I felt by what you did so so many times. That helped me move on because I blamed myself for a lot of things, but I no longer do that. It was 100% both of us, even if we wouldn’t want to admit it.

This all feels a bit cold and harsh now that I’m reading it, but it’s really not that t all. I really did care so much about you, you were someone I thought would be around forever, and I loved you like a sister. I don’t know how I feel now, it’s just kinda grey, which makes no sense I know, I just know that I have never had a grudge, and that I hope you do well in life. Wow this is dramatic lmao. Honestly if you ever needed me in the future I’d still probably be there.


I don’t want to ever write another of these, because I owe it to myself to make changes for me, and I guess I am just using this to bounce ideas off of.

Damn, this was wild. If anyone’s reading this, that’s on you, because this was hella long

I don’t hate you but I don’t know if I feel anything positive related to you either. I’m weirdly indifferent if that makes any sense. I used to be heartbroken for a bit, but I’m so much better now. When everything fell to shit and you ended things, I was devastated, I was convincing myself that I was fine, but now I think that I really am. It’s like waves man, sometimes it’s terribly low, others I feel fantastic. Recently I've been feeling great more times than not. But it has nothing to do with you. I’ve started a process of healing and growth, I’ve come to accept and admit my shortcomings and unhealthy patterns, I’m fixing them, and I’m becoming a person that I’m proud of. In a cliche way, I feel like I can breathe, I’ve cut out a lot of negativity in my life, and I’m learning more about who I am every day. I don’t want to be the person that I was before, I hated how I felt about myself and how I had little control over my own issues and let them affect others. But now I’ve worked through a lot of major issues, I’ve healed many things from my past, and I’m genuinely happy and I love it.

Personally, I don’t give a damn whether you hate me or not, it’s justified, but regardless it’s out of my mind. I’m learning to genuinely love myself and others, I’m setting boundaries that I didn’t have before, so that I don’t let people walk all over me. I’ve come to terms with a lot of stuff that happened to me as a kid, and how it affects me now, and what to do about it. (Also, I heard you say shit about me lying about all of that. All I can say really is that I Never was. I could try to convince you, but I don’t owe that to you nor do I need you to “believe me” fuck off with that)

I now know why I acted they way I did. I never realized how anxious I was all the time, how afraid I was that everyone secretly hated me, or was going to leave. After talking to professionals, we had a lot of interesting things come to light, but in particular my history of anxious attachment. Basically that means that I would always seek out validation and affirmation that my relationships with people were actually real, that they cared, and constantly was afraid that everyone would eventually leave me. I was also made aware of my habits with unhealthy and damaging relationships. Even though I was miserable, I was never able to speak up and explain when something seriously hurt me, because I didn’t want them to hate me. I would always take blame no matter what, and I was really paranoid. Which is why when it came down to you saying enough is enough, I was upset, even though I knew this had been coming for many months. I kinda wish I were the one to end things just so that for once I could feel a semblance of control, but I know I never could’ve in that mental state, so in a way it was a very wonderful thing that it was you. Also, you should’ve been more clear with how you ended things. It was all on your terms, you made it clear but not clear enough what you wanted, and I wish you could’ve done that better. “We vibe but we don’t vibe as often” that was dumb. Tell me straight up whether you want to talk in the future or not. I didn’t understand that was a nice way of letting things go, so I tried for like a week until I just was done. If you ever want to talk to me, you are young to have to reach out, because it was /you/ who ended things. I think that’s only fair. But to be honest I doubt there would even be a point. It’s weird, you’re like a stranger that I know so much about. I doubt things right now could feel anything but just weird.

In general, we both deserved better than that whole last year. I was at the tipping point for a whole personality change and serious changes, and I think you were the tipping point, which in a way sucks, because you inadvertently are connected to my progress.

I spent a lot of time placing my worth into others opinions of me, but now I am overcoming that very nicely.

I don’t think I have anything to say to you. I’ve never been mad, at myself? Maybe, but not you. I don’t know if I miss you though. I think I used to, but I miss the good Memories and shit, not the empty feeling where I’m gutted every time I would see you. I felt like a shell of myself and eveything was forced between us for a long time, we both know that. I don’t think it really was either of our faults in that aspect, I think we just outgrew eachother, We really just didn’t work anymore like we used to. Even though that hurts to think about. But not eveything is permanent, in fact nothing is, which is why thats okay. I can be upset for all the relationships I’ve ever lost, or I can appreciate what I had in them and what I’ve gained from them. I’m at peace, I’ve let everything go. I think one of my best signs of progress was not only seriously accepting and working on my issues, but also realizing how seriously hurt I felt by what you did so so many times. That helped me move on because I blamed myself for a lot of things, but I no longer do that. It was 100% both of us, even if we wouldn’t want to admit it.

This all feels a bit cold and harsh now that I’m reading it, but it’s really not that t all. I really did care so much about you, you were someone I thought would be around forever, and I loved you like a sister. I don’t know how I feel now, it’s just kinda grey, which makes no sense I know, I just know that I have never had a grudge, and that I hope you do well in life. Wow this is dramatic lmao. Honestly if you ever needed me in the future I’d still probably be there.


I don’t want to ever write another of these, because I owe it to myself to make changes for me, and I guess I am just using this to bounce ideas off of.

Damn, this was wild. If anyone’s reading this, that’s on you, because this was hella long

We were best friends for a while but then had a falling out. I’ve loved you the entire time though more than you can know and I would drop everything to be with you. I wish you felt the same way but I don’t think you ever will.

i miss the feeling you gave me. the feeling of happiness. i’m so happy to see you happy tho , it’s all i ever wanted :).

you scare me to death and i feel like if i’m not careful you’ll hurt me, but i love you too much to run from you.

i knew we was beyond saving when we had the last argument, however i`ll never stop loving you and not a day will go by that i won`t think of you no matter where i am or who i`m with.

ur cool. ur the only one who really understand everything. i feel like i can tell u anything and i like that about you. i really do like u.

You were my wake up call, and I’m sorry that you had to be that person. I’ve learned a lot since then, about myself really. I’ve started to turn things around, I’m really changing for the best, and it’s scary but I know it’s time. Change doesn’t wait for you to be ready. I’m not going to say sorry, you don’t want it, and it won’t change anything. I doubt I’ll ever talk to you again. I don’t know if I even want to. I cared about you, and that was the problem. To wherever you end up in life, I wish you the best.

the smell of winter reminds me of us. I don't know what im going to do when it starts to snow and I have no one to celebrate with.

everything about you is my favorite your brown eyes your laugh i make fun of your smile the way you smell like soap its all my favorite

you now the night you were in your room and i grabbed your waist and just looked into your eyes i was just ready to risk it all

i love you so much and i’m not sure what i would do without you but i just wish i could tell you that am in love with you but i don’t know how to do it yet

I just feel bad for your girl friend who has no idea you still felt I was the one when you started dating... and you’re still posting stuff in reference to me. They say old habits die hard and your unfaithfulness is one of them lmao. Yeah you can keep your “praying and reforming” to yourself bc you’re toxic

I still have feelings for you after all these years and I miss what we were so much because it was something I’m not sure I’ll ever get to have again.

I miss you so much but I know you don’t want me to talk to you, which sucks man, it really does. I’m gonna respect your boundaries and not text you, because you made it pretty clear what you wanted, but I still can’t help but miss you.

hurting you is the biggest mistake i’ve ever made. i want us to be together but i know you deserve better. maybe in another life

A part of me wishes you'd fight for me because I miss us sm but then I remember I'd rather be alone than have you tear me apart again.

I still remember how you made me feel that day, I couldn’t sleep I felt like throwing up. I wish I could stop thinking about it but I know a part of me is still at that university field.

i cant tell if i’m in love with you or if it’s just platonic but either way i love you and your the best but your always on my mind

i know he means more to you then i do and it’s okay i guess but i just miss the way your head was on my chest not his

i wish that our relationship would have been healthier. i wish that you didn’t think that it was okay to hit me, or tell me that i was useless because i wasn’t able to restrain my friend. i miss you, but i guess we weren’t meant to be.

I wish we still talked to each other as often as we used to. I still have things I want to say to you.

I can’t get over you. I want you. All of you. I’ve been trying to find the feeling I had with you and the only thing close to it is when I travel. So I will continue to travel the world hoping one day I’ll bump into you and we can be together.