Unsent messages to F

you broke my entire heart and made me so miserable, but you're still the only person I want to be with.

Sitting on the dock with you watching the stars talking about dumb stuff made me realize a lot of things.

okay im here again. new year, without u. damn, I miss u sm. I hope that u are happy with her and yeah.i still can't believe that u did this to me. u used your own pain to make me feel so fucking bad. but okay that what u wanted ig yeah. im sorry

I used to think I wasn’t able to love before I met you. So many adventures together. You made me feel really alive.
Forse ti amerò sempre un pochino

I love you so much but i can’t help but find myself constantly jealous of you and your life. i genuinely hate myself for it.

i wish i'd been confident enough to tell u all those words in my journal about loving u but then i think maybe i didnt love u at all

i wish u knew how much i love u and always will. i wish u would realize all of the things i would do for you bcs im that in love with you. you made my life so much happier without you even knowing it. the fact that i rlly cant let you go already shows how attached i am. god im so in love with u i cant stop thinking ab u. dont leave me. dont u dare leave me.

I wish I didn’t fall in love with the image of you instead of the real you. I was naive and I didn’t know what love really was.

will i ever think that somebody could actually like me ever? you fucked me up big time. i wish we never met, i wish i could go back to how i was before when i actually believed i was loveable.

You don’t know how much you hurt me when you said that I’m an amazing girl and that you wish for me that I’ll find someone who will love me back. I was already in love with you.
J

why can't i forget you? you have taken my heart and never returned it. i just know you never spend even a single second thinking of me and it burns my heart. i pray everyday to just see your face once more or hear your voice. i miss you. i am yours forever.

definition of right person wrong time, i'm so glad we're friends though, you saved my life without knowing it. Maybe in another universe we'll get what we want

Te extraño como a nadie lo había hecho, pienso en ti cada día que pasa; también pienso en una y mil formas de como creo que vas a volver. Pero dentro de mí se que no lo harás solo por evitar el sentimiento que nos tiene atrapados.

Fuiste la razón por la cuál sigo viva. Gracias por salvarme y perdón si fui egoísta, necesitaba un break.
Te necesito demasiado, pero tengo miedo de que no sientas lo mismo y agobiarte,, te amo y siempre lo amaré

i hate that you gave me attention. i hate that that’s all it took. i knew you would break me from the start but i just wanted a bit of love and attention. you only needed to say the right words and i’d be doing anything for you. i promised myself i wouldn’t get attached and that you were just around to make me feel good about myself but before i knew it i was up late waiting for your texts. i looked to you to make me feel better but i feel worse. it was all fake.

i really love u,and i know u dont love me but i am okey with it.i really hope u get happy with her and without me.i will always love u because u are the love of my life.without u my life doesnt make sense.i want to kill myself but i dont do because i always think that u could come back someday...but u wont....?

turns out your a dickhead
that doesn’t change anything though as i know if you asked i’d go back to you no hesitation
i hate you so much
i wish i could just forget you
-the girl that was never good enough

we don’t talk anymore but i miss you more then you’ll ever know. i wish i could go back in time, i was so much happier then. i think there was a part of me that loved you and will always love you. i hope i see you again one day. i hope that you’re happy and healthy, even if the person you’re happy with isn’t me. thank you for giving me immense happiness even if you didn’t know how much you meant to me.

Nunca intenté nada porque creí que de esa manera no te perdería. Pero parece que no pensabas de la misma forma.

i'm sorry i didn't notice. believe me, i would have tried helping u. and believe me, seeing u suffer breaks my heart, but now it's too late. orange reminds me of our favourite song. u remember? we would sing it all the time. i am deeply sorry we lost each other and u will always be my best friend.

You probably didn't think having me will be hard, but my pride is bigger than yours. So now we're both alone.

non mi manchi più, ma una parte di me spera ancora che tornerà quel che avevamo, ormai quasi un anno fa.

domani saranno 6 mesi dal nostro ultimo bacio, e a quel punto le mie labbra si saranno dimenticate di te.

23 febbraio 2020.
quel che mi hai detto era più puro e sincero di un 'ti amo'.
c'era amore e lo sappiamo entrambi, forse l'abbiamo solo un po' trascurato.

i’ve liked u ever since we were younger and four years after the last time i spoke to u, one day u reached out randomly. i thought u liked me but one day, a few months later u stopped replying. stupid talking stage. i miss u. i hope u reply soon.

I want to know what's going on between us. it's an illusion in my head or it's just something you don't say?

fuck you. i wish i never met you. i trusted you allowed you to hear things no one else did. i let down my guard. fuck you.

You were my best friend for more than a year. We met each other and connected immediately. We talked about everything and supported each other always. You threw that away like it was nothing and it broke me. I healed really fast and realized that friendship isn't as strong as I thought it was.
Bye hoe

maybe in another life, or if we met a little earlier, a little later, if i had just never said hi that day, if i had just had the courage to tell you, we could've worked.

Maybe there was a time when you loved me or even cared a bit about me. But it hurt like hell when you left without saying anything. I'll always hate myself for letting you leave and even though we're 'friends' now I'll always care about you and miss what we had.

extraño pasar los días contigo, extraño despertar y ver tu cara a mi lado, o que me abraces por las noches que me abrigues cuando me sientas helada :( terminamos por nada, te siento como distante pero quiero entender que es solo porque no estás pasando un buen momento, me encantaría aceptarte que eres el amor de mi vida, que pienso todos los días en ti, que cuando te pienso siento una calma enorme, te quiero tanto, estoy segura que nos volveremos a encontrar y seremos igual de felices.

sometimes I check ur spotify hoping you’ve made secret playlists about me, like the ones I made about you

I don’t regret getting with you but I do regret how I let u change me. U can say u didn’t take advantage of me but u did and u know it. U knew how much I liked u and that I would do anything for u and u didn’t care. All u cared abt was getting with girls and bragging abt it. U know what u did to me was wrong. I can’t believe I ever fell for ur lies, I should’ve seen how u treated ur ex’s but I was so in love with u I didn’t care. I lost so many friends bc of u: they tried to tell me what u were like but I didn’t listen. Why did u shag my bestfriend? Why did u ask me for nudes when u had a new gf? Why did u start talking to that girl when u were with me? Why did u lie abt talking to my friend and then try to get with me. Why did u one day start to ignore me? U broke me. I cried every night for a month when u left me on opened even tho 10 minutes earlier u told me how much you liked me. I used to go back and read our texts bc it made me happy remembering how much I thought u cared for me. I would probably continue to read them if they weren’t deleted. I hate u so much but at the same time I can’t help loving u. It’s been 10 months since we last talked but I see u around and everytime I do my heart aches. Everytime I see u talking to a girl my heart aches. It genuinely makes me want to die bc I sometimes can’t imagine my life without u. U fucked me up so bad. I don’t know how to love now. I’m so scared that everyone is going to lie abt liking me to get something from me bc that’s what u did. Why do u think it’s ok to use girls. It’s not. I hate u so much. I fucking love u so much. U have ruined my life and broken my trust. But if u messaged me again I would probably reply.

this colour reminds me of your fur, its been 3 years since i last saw you. i miss you, beautiful boy.

it hurts so bad. I want to block u on all my socials but, I need you. fuck you fuxk you u love her and u told me that u loved me lol. FUCK U

yeah hi I know I fucked up I didn't want to do that lol now I lost u. I fucking need u and idk what to do without u lolz. u have a gf and im just here waiting and u know it hurts me lol. u never gonna understand me lol. I told u everything and u were just like " oh lol " like bro- I trusted u. ilysfm I fucking care ab u ur my fucking everything and u are doing nothing.

Its so hard to hear you, see you. Like my heart skips a beat everytime...i miss your hugs(and i could really use one now)..

I don't think I will be able to forget you.
Even if one day I will meet someone else, I will always have u in the back of my head . I don't wanna forget about you. I just can get rid of the idea that our story would have been perfect. You are in my mind every day, and I can't be mad at you, I never was. I really hope that you will reach happiness and light, that all you deserve and all I want, even if I thought that we will reach the happiness together.
I still can imagine that we will never see us, that so fucked up, my mind won't understand that it's the end. If I could have just imagine, one second, that the last time I saw you was the last one, I would have told you that I'm scare to loose you.
But if you are happy, I am too. I hope you think of me, even if it's not as often as I do.
Thank you

u bitch. fuck u bitch. wasted so much of my time. took my virginity. fuck u i have sooo much hate for u.

I‘d do anything to lay on the grass, look at the stars and talk about silly things with you one last time.

I don’t like the fact you re stealing my precious time that I should be spending with “m”. I just don’t like I hate it. You’re not the center of it all, it’s muy life and I want you to be really far from it as it was before. You are just ruining everything idc. I DONT LIKE U

You were the right person, it was the wrong time. I wasn’t ready for anything and ready was all you were. It’s too late because you’ve moved on to someone and you love each-other more than anything. It wasn’t you, it really was me.

i love you much i cant even explain it like I want to hug you and kiss you and smile with you. i just want to tell you how much I love you. but im too scared right now, idk i just cant say it to you. you probably dont feel the same way and we will stop being friends. thats the last thing i want to do. youre just too perfect for me right now and im just the thing you need right now. you need love and affection you need kind words you need hugs... i just cant give you those things right now, which im so sad about. i dont know how to fix this mess. we have so much tension and i would do much more good for you if we were in love. but i think im the only one in love. but there is hope. everytime i see you youre so much happier with me and youre so relaxed with me. you can tell me anything and you just know i wont judge you. i just love you that much. i will always go out of my way to make you feel better. i just cant stop loving you. i never think of any of your bad traits and think well youre a bad person. i cant do that. i just cant. i love you too much. i just wish i could express that love to you.

I really liked u, I did, and I wanted to tell u but I'll never have courage to even admit it. so goodbye...

spoke with someone today that almost had your name

... and almost had the same number

... and lived on a fucking street that just so happens to be in my top 5 fav words



the fucking irony






braindead

I wish I never had my abortion.
It was the best for us then and there, and I do not regret it, I just wish that my kid had a father like you. You are amazing.

i have always hated my name ever since i was little, but ever since i heard you say it, i despise it even more now.

Te ame, pensaba que todo estaba bien, cuando realmente me estabas quitando toda esa felicidad, espero que algún día sepas amar a alguien.

i know what i did was wrong, and i apologized for it so many times, but i've been nothing but nice to you after that. why do u still dislike me? i wish you told me instead of keeping it inside.

I can’t believe it’s only been 2 days since you’ve left. Everything that I do reminds me of something we’ve done together. If I do something stupid I literally walk out of my room to tell u about it but then realise you’re actually not here anymore and it kills me every single time. Now that you’re not here it’s making me realise why everyone says I’m falling for u. Maybe I actually am cause I feel like something is missing all the time now that you’re not here. I still talk to you everyday but it’s not the same. I miss your hugs. Can’t wait for when we actually meet again