tell me it’s you. text me. call me. just tell me it’s you that’s writing those words. i want us back.

i think that you think you’re the only one that lost something and if i’m wrong, i’m sorry. you lost yourself but so did i. the relationship put me down too. but the difference between us is that after all of it. all of the crying. the fucking hurt. i’m the only one that’d go through it again. after time apart i’ve realized i could never hate you, not even a little. when i think about you now my heart still skips beats. weird and stupid but i still love you and i can’t change that. if you came back i know i’d do everything i could to show you i’m not the same anymore. i’m a lot happier. i like dancing. i like singing. i like my hair down. i finally love and appreciate my smile. stupid things but i know, you know that i never did those things. the one thing that hasn’t changed is my love for you. it’s grown the same way i have. i hope you’re doing good. i hope you’re happy and i hope you get into a good college. even though we don’t talk and you don’t want to just know that i’m proud of you and the things you’ve accomplished. you deserve more than what this world could ever give.

you can be anything you want to be with a mind like yours. and you’ve always been crazy smart. not just book smart. i’ve always thought you would be successful. it’s not just your mind it’s also your heart.

i don’t know why you stayed. but a part of me is thankful you left so i could figure myself out and grow. but now all of me wants you to come back. that’s all i wish for. but i know you aren’t coming back. it’s a hard truth but it’s clear that you never want to speak to me again. that hurts me a lot but i did it to myself. i know that if you ever did come back i’d drop anything and everything for you. i don’t care what it is. because you’re still the most important person to ever be in my life. and i’m sorry that i didn’t show you that before. i was so incredibly stupid. i miss you more than i’ve ever missed anyone.

if you miss me. come back and talk to me. you won’t regret it. and i put that on all the love i have for you.

my heart will break forever because i had to leave while i still loved you. and months after i still feel the same way about you.

i’m willing to wait. but while i wait i can’t stop moving. i have my life to get through too. there will always be a spot left for you and only you. i wish you would sit under the traffic lights with me at 3am

i’m working hard to be the person i wanna be and even after that i’m gonna keep growing after that. i’m honestly happy with myself. and i have been for a while. but not this happy. i genuinely love myself.

you’ll always have a chance of getting me back. you just have to come get me. i’ll always be your danny.

I miss the way you spoke to me. The way you made me feel warm. At home. The way you said my nickname. I miss the way you would sit there, and watch whatever with me. And how you would look so beautiful.

i want nothing more than to just have you back. not because i feel alone. it’s because there’s this big black hole in my heart. you were a part of me. i swear. you were everything. i want you. i want us. i want there to be an us. after all this time it’s still fucking you. every part of me wants to take off and drive to miami. to be with you. to love you. to show you who i am. you shine like the moon. like a city after dark. beautiful and mesmerizing. i wish you would text me or call me. and just say it was time for you to come home. i love you ellie. i always have. and i always will.

i wonder if you’ll actually see this. idk. i’ve written what feels like a million of these but you still haven’t come back. if you do see these just call me. call me and say i’m here.

if you heard what’s on my mind maybe you would love me again. maybe you’d fall in love again with me. maybe you’d want to talk to me. maybe you would call. i can’t seem to get up from my fall. maybe this time it’s the worst it’s ever been.

i miss you. but what’s new. you very clearly hate me but i can’t seem to stop loving you. i’ve accepted it. i have for a long time now. you’re just one of those forever people. i knew you were from the start and i still let myself find love with you. if only you came back. i love you you ellie. still

i’m gonna quit smoking because every time i do, i get panic attacks. that make me feel like i’m suffocating and crumbling. it’s because i think of you all the time and i can’t stop it. no matter what i do i can’t get you out of my head and i hate it. because i still love you with everything in me. genuinely and wholeheartedly even though you hate me. i wish you didn’t. i wish i could’ve been good for you. i miss you and it only gets worse everyday. i’m sorry for everything ellie.

i miss you more than you think. if you even think about me. just call. something. i don’t know. i need you

i know i need to speak to someone. but my someone has always been you. this time it really feels like there’s no way out. it’s hopeless. why do i still love someone who doesn’t even think of me. who won’t talk to me. i would text you but every time i have it’s been the wrong thing to do because you get angry. you get angry and tear me apart even more. i just wish i knew what to do. i wish you were here with me.

i loved you and i still love you. after all this time and after all this hurt. all i do is love you and want you. i wish you felt the same. i know i should’ve just quit this already. you know loving you but somethings not letting me and im okay with that. it is what it is. you’re special. you’re you ellie. beautiful, intelligent mind. beautiful heart. beautiful everything. i hate how much i feel for you. it’s only you.

ill never forget the way you looked at me. beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile. you tilted your head just a bit. you were a goddess. still are. i wish we met. i wish i could’ve kissed you.

i look for you everywhere. all the people around me. in all the passing cars. and i have yet to really find you. i find you in the moon. i find you in the stars. i found you in flowers. i find you whenever i’m home. everything about you lingers there. the times you made me laugh. the times you made my stomach do flips because of how precious and fucking beautiful you were. the memories of you haunt me. but i let them. because i love you still. i haven’t stopped. you’re no where to be found. 700 miles and 10 hours away. i wish you would come back and make me feel at home again. 8 months later and im still a loser. i think that’s the only thing that hasn’t changed. so what i’m a dork. but i can’t help that for you. you just made me feel so in love.

i hope it works out. i really do. i don’t want to keep missing you. i just want you here. next to me. smokey misses you too you know. remember that i love you. always and forever ellie

i just hope you’re happy. no matter what. i wish you the best and i’ll keep loving you from a distance. it’s hard. it’s really fucking hard doing that. but it’s worth it as long as it’s for you. i miss you with everything in me. i’m waiting on you ellie

first christmas without you. i tried texting you and you left me on read. it’s okay tho. maybe you don’t wanna talk. maybe in time you will. ill be waiting. my mom keeps asking me if i’m crying and ngl. i am but i keep saying no. i just can’t help it. i miss you. so fucking much. it’s killing me