Unsent messages to CHARLIE

I didn't want to be needed. I wanted to be wanted.

i cared about you so much more then you will ever know.

why would you make me feel like that? im sorry i love you

please fall in love with me again

i wish you would let me show you what home feels like.

we’ll probably never be what I want, but I’ll stick around

i wish i could be with you

I hope someday I can truly say we have a real friendship.
:)

You’ll always be my coffee person

i will never not love you

Call me back. Please.

I wish you loved me like you did before

Why did you have to leave me like that

I miss you. I know you hate me for loving you. I'm sorry

i’m sorry. i miss you.

Im sorry Charlie i didn't mean to harm you in dodgeball

i’m so excited for you to come home

i love you monkey. so much. it hurts so badly to know we can’t be together.. not now at least. but you will always own a part of my heart. it’s yours and no one else’s. I’ll be there soon enough.. and we’ll get to feel this love. i can’t wait for the day i can finally hold you. it will be so worth it my love x

It hurts,knowing how fast you moved on,yet,after more then a year,I’m still so in love with you,the way you give me butterflies,your freckles that seemed to be placed so perfectly,those dimples by your eyes when you smile,everything.
Your heartbeat is my favourite melody and your voice my favourite song. Cant you see,Charlie,I’m still so in love with you,please,come back,we’re meant to be,I know we are. If you see this,just know,these are the words of my unsaid.

man i honestly fucking hate u bro. i told u everything everything man all my traumas, my bad grades, my family problems everything i told u everything and u just threw it away ? bro i told u my biggest trauma you literally told me “if one dude ever does this again send him to me” like bro u knew what happened to me as a lil kid man. ion say that shit to everyone bro. it’s such a shame for me but i told u it cuz i trusted u man. u honestly fucked me up. just cuz of u i literally cant have a friendship/ relationship w out thinking they’ll end up doing the same u did. you knew everything ab me and i knew everything ab u.

man u we’re my bsf, i literally told u ab everything my traumas my family problems everything. u knew everything and so did i. we loved eachother bro all that and u threw it away twice u we’re literally like a lil bro to me. and sometimes the big bro either way we’re the person i trusted the most bro. all that and it’s gone. just cuz of u my trust issues have gotten worse. i literally can’t have a relationship w someone w out thinking they’ll do the same as u. u honestly fucked up man.

Siempre supe que jamás llegarimos a nada, pero te ame como a nadie lo había echo. Hasta pronto amor de mi vida, si lo llegas ver adiós.

I don’t regret meeting you but what i do regret is giving you my all , giving you everything I had in me I never received from no one. At some point I felt like you were too good for me and u deserved so much better. I would see how sad I’d make you then happy. I took the most hardest decision and left you. which til this day I regret but then I kept coming back to you and so did you. why would you come back to just leave me like I left you. Why would you put me into more pain than what I was already going through I just wanted u man. I wanted everything with you and just you. there was so significant other i wanted but you. You were all I thought about and still do. you kept coming back and saying I changed you but you know why I left but sometimes I wish you would understand it wasn’t easy. You made me sm better and happier. you felt home. I miss you , but why would you come back again to just tell me to finish what I started when I was willingly trying again in us and still had faith in us. But I see you didn’t you just came back to keep me happy for a lil and do the same shit you do and make me leave without me wanting too. I left with a pain in my back .. I hate you but love you my love is so strong for you and I hate that you act like nothing happend while I’m always here hurting I’m always the one hurting and I’m so tired of it you don’t understand how much I’d want to let go of you and forget you but I can’t. someday I will though and that day I will your gonna be stuck on me like I was stuck on you. I hope you feel my pain that I’ve held because of you. As much as I love you I don’t deserve someone like you. I hope you find what u wanted and later on hurt , because you lost the only person who was ever gonna love you u conditionally and for you. You ever find someone like me who was lovely and patient and had much care for you. I regret putting you first before myself. you were my first love and It sucks it went this way , I’ll never forget you but I really hope I get the ability to move on and glow up within it. I loved since day one and I still do but til the i move on from you. Goodbye my love

MY GOOD SIR-
I love you and your chaotic self. Keep your head up and your heart full, I can't wait to teach you how to kiss ass and take names

i loved you the way you still love your ex. we both hated that i wasn't her. if i could b someone else i would, bye chewie

I wouldn't be who I am without you. I hope you find your way in life. I wish we could have stayed friends. I miss you a lot sometimes but I think pretending like we don't know each other is for the best. Treat your girl and your kid right, safe travels

I really think we could be the greatest love story. just like our parents are. i want us to build a life and family together.

i know i have done the worst thing. and i know that deep down you know too. yet you still choose to keep me and believe my lies. i wish you didn't love me so much, for then it would be easier for me to live with what ive done.

Nobody was happy with you or your girlfriend at dinner, by the way. How about thinking before you do shit, eh? Your friends loved you like a brother, and you left them for that heifer.

You took my virginity because I reminded you of Willow. Seriously, screw you. Get out of my dreams. Release me.

I don’t know how I feel about you anymore. I don’t know if I’m settling for you because I’m afraid of change or if I still love you and need you around in my life whether we are together or not. It hurts. I can’t even be true to myself anymore.

i wish you loved me back then when i loved you.. we could’ve been amazing together. but you had your attention on someone else, i’m sorry i wasn’t enough for you

i hate you. i just need you to know that, you're a horrible person and throughout all the lies and excuses i hope she was worth it.

i fell so hard for you. and you lied. it was “always” until the end. i love you. you broke me into a thousand pieces.

I wonder if you were actually “typing...” wanting to tell me something. or whether your keyboard was just up.

i hate you, i hate how you ignore me, i hate how you waited so long to tell me you don't have feelings for me, i hate how cute your stupid accent is, i hate how i have to avoid a whole country just so i wont see you, i hate how you won't talk to me, i hate how much you hate me, and most of all i hate how much i don't hate you. i love you, and i always will.

charlie (charlay) ,
i wish you didn’t live so far away from me. btw, your blue eyes are better than my brown eyes .

I truly believe you can achieve your goals you're the funniest person I know and spending that birthday with you did so much for me I'll always be thankful and love you

you were my first love and i don’t think you realise how much you hurt me, i don’t think you realise how much damage you put on me while we were together. you broke up with me on valentine’s day and now that day will be ruined for me forever. i don’t wanna blame you for shit but i do blame you for putting me through hell, i still wonder why you used to blame me for absolutely everything that went wrong in our relationship when i know a lot of the time i was just trying to communicate with you so we could work our shit out and so i could get my feelings out but you would never let me which hurt. now you’re engaged and that hurts even more to know that you moved on straight away and not even a year out of our relationship you’re now engaged to someone. i know my mental health had a big problem to do with the breakup and our relationship but i warned you, but you still took me in thinking you could deal with me. but tbh you were the reason it got so bad i don’t think you realise you not telling me stuff or you telling me i was ‘fat’ as a joke hurt. you put the blame on me. everytime. and i wish you understood that but i’m sure you never will, i loved you so much but i just don’t think you loved me enough.

you taught me how to love unashamedly. i hope you know how much you changed me for the better. thank you so much for being in my life. i miss you every day. i hope you’re okay.

the sky still reminds me of your eyes. i wish i would stop looking for them every time i walked into a room

i can't wait till i can give you your origami santa irl. i hope you're sleeping well, my baby. you mean more to me than words can describe. I'm listening to impossible by nothing but thieves right now. It says everything I can't. I thought it was impossible, but you make it possible.

I wish I never let you go, but you moved on and you’re happy, it’s time for me to do the same. But if you called I’d still run right to you.

When I joked that I’m such a great person and you said ‘you are’ and kissed me. I think about that a lot. I miss you and your now well-combed blonde mop.

even after all this time i'm still left wondering all the things we could've done together if we had the chance to do them

you came back:)
I honestly want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't want anyone else but you. You make me so happy. You're perfect. I already know that I want you to be the man I marry.

im so glad that i no longer have a sinking feeling when i think of you but i hope you are happy, i do not miss you and i do not hate you

You don’t like me. You only have eyes for someone else and it hurts a lot. Your funny and cool. I wish you can notice I’m here for you and you see I love you a lot. Hope you are happy even if im not...

you joined my rugby team a while ago and since then i’ve been slowly falling for you. you’re kind and funny and confident, and i wish i had your confidence so i could tell you about my true feelings. but i don’t , and for that i’m equally sorry and grateful.

i’ll love you forever. i truly believe that we are meant to be. right perfect, no, perfect person, wrong time. i would love to catch up sometime.