charlie (charlay) ,
i wish you didn’t live so far away from me. btw, your blue eyes are better than my brown eyes .

I sent in an anonymous post here last... July? It was about how you would never like me back. WELL, while we were on a call today, you confessed that you liked me! (and that you have been feeling that way for months now) Welp, I'm still smitten. Goddamn, too bad we're 13,000 km away. But it's fine, you like me back and that's all that matters. I'm fucking falling for you.

I couldn't bring myself to tell you I liked because my friend did and now I have to live with that guilt forever

I idolized you more then anything but you taught me how to be my own person and to stand my ground,you helped me more then anyone and I know I didn't say this much but I love you

i hate you, i hate how you ignore me, i hate how you waited so long to tell me you don't have feelings for me, i hate how cute your stupid accent is, i hate how i have to avoid a whole country just so i wont see you, i hate how you won't talk to me, i hate how much you hate me, and most of all i hate how much i don't hate you. i love you, and i always will.

why do you still give me butterflies when i think about you ... yet you left so long ago for no reason

i know you didnt know how i felt, i know you didnt know what you were doing, i know you dont know still. but you fucking screwed me over so many times in so many ways. you dont even talk to me anymore. you asked me long term questions and now act like i dont even exist, and on my fucking birthday too are you fucking kidding? you were a rollercoaster that i wanted to get off but never could. you were the first guy i cried over. even my mom knew something was up. i cant forgive you for that and believe me ive tried. but thanks because now im not the same as i was, now i know a bullshitter when i see one :)

My first kiss memory will always have you calling me a bitch right before it, and I will never forgive you.

It's true when they say 'you don't know what you have until it's gone'. Seeing you with her kills me. I never stopped loving you. I still do now. I wouldn't want anyone else to hurt me the way you did, because it was you what you did was okay.

Damn i miss you, its been almost a year since we had such an amazing summer, it was insane, i regret what i did/didn't do for you and i hope that next summer it will be even better

I wonder if you were actually “typing...” wanting to tell me something. or whether your keyboard was just up.

i love you please don’t leave me again, i can’t live without you. you are my person even if i’m not yours

If I wasn’t dating someone who I wasn’t comfortable dating at the time, would we have happened? And would we still be in contact?

This color makes me think of you. You’re always on my mind and I wish so bad I could redo things with you. BFS sucks btw but I still listen to them bc it was your favorite.

i love you, i have for months , it will never be the same as it was but i often dream of us together like we were before , but you are happy with her

I fucked up and I miss you. I wanna be your friend again. But, if I were you I wouldn't ever speak to me again

im so sorry i feel out of love in fear of getting hurt. you didnt deserve this. i wish you a love brighter than the sun, u deserve it.

ur my 2am thoughts. my nightly prayers. my morning latte. i love you but your bound to break my heart.

You were there for me and I won’t ever forget you, I love you and it hurts me to admit that to anyone. I wish you could be mine but I can’t lose you to a relationship

I want to tell you so much yet I know I never can because if I do the whole dam will break and I'm afraid of the outcomes.

I should have hugged you for that dare instead of telling you the things I “liked” about you :/ Imma go cry now

I could write for hours about how much you hurt me, and yet how much I would still want to be with you. It wouldn’t fit on one of these.

i love you but i’m so miserable. the emotional stress you put me under is fucking insane. people beg me to leave you but i can’t. you always say you’re trying you’re best but you never change. recently you’ve started to scare me. you’ve started to say things that remind me of the people i hate the most. i know you think i’m overdramatic but i am SO patient with you, maybe more so than you deserve. i pray to god that you’ll get better. i pray to god.

when it comes to you, i cant express why i feel so broken inside. its not the same anymore. something about you being with any other girl overwhelms me with jealousy, or maybe regret? was it something i said, or something you heard from her?

It’s crazy how you’re still affecting my life. I’ll always have love for you and remember you even when you claim to have forgotten what we had.

i love you like no one before. i have never truly known what its like to fall in love but now i do. although you are miles away you are forever in my mind and heart. i really don't deserve you. how did i get so lucky. you mean everything and more to me. i cant bear the thought of ever losing you.

thats all. i love you.

I'm glad you found happiness with her, but I can't help wishing even after all this time that it would have been me instead.

m.

you ruined my favourite song, my favourite place and my heart. I will still love you forever no matter what it was just a matter of i loved you more than you loved me. maybe we can try again later on in life when we’re both ready. i love you R x

Honestly I ask myself why did I like you, and sometimes I still think this because everytime I see you I feel sick because I knew you didn’t like me back so I’m sorry for taking that out on you but please wash your hands

you made me who I am. Even knowing that we don’t end up together I would do it all over again. You are completely unique from anyone I have ever met. Never give up on yourself.

i fell so hard for you. and you lied. it was “always” until the end. i love you. you broke me into a thousand pieces.

if you ever see this message from a growing curiosity, know that i love you more than anything in this world, and you have saved me from ending me, and i’m forever grateful for that.

i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough. i was scared and young but i loved you so much. i’m happy now and have moved on i hope ur doing good

You hurt me so much but I can’t get you off my mind. It’s been about a year and you’re still my main thought every day and it’s so fucking sad and the fact you said you would kill me if you could hurts me immensely. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck. You. You hurt me so much, you made me believe I could never fall in love again, and I can’t. Right people wrong time.

you fucked me up so badly. i loved you so fucking much. you where the only person who made me feel special. and you left. and when you left it felt like you took a part of me with you and i’ve never gotten it back. i don’t know if i ever will

i’ve know you for a little while and it’s going good but idk if i can do another long distance, i just picked pink cause i said you liked any colour :)

i am unbelievably in love with you. as much as i think about you, a small part of me is begging you to click out of this tab and forget you read that. who knows if you even know this website. i just need to rant about how much i love you. ive had feelings for you on and off for two years and im ashamed that at some points i felt ashamed to like you, and im scared that you dont like me, and i hope you know how fucking hard it is for me to smile and be supportive and tell you to ask out other people or tell you that i like someone else while in my head im screaming that im in love with you and the truth is that charlie its always been you. its always been you in the back of my head whispering that a friendship as great as ours could mean a relationship greater, and the one thing holding me back is my dumb fucking self esteem which i'm afraid might be right for telling me that i am such an annoying lump of fat and arrogance and that ill never be good enough for your fluffy hair that you refuse to accept is damaged and your teeth which you hate but i think are cute and the way you hate your eyes because to you it feels like the one thing that fits the beauty standard. charlie i love your eyes because they make me want to giggle and they make my happy and theres so much more i want to tell you. i could tell you how many nights ive been paralyzed by the calories or the number on the scale or the hundredth of a grade point that ive imagine you next to me, holding me tightly and whispering into my ear until i fall asleep. or i could tell you how hard it was for me to admit to the only other two friends i have that i trust that i liked you, or i could tell you that every time i've starved myself its been for you and that sounds so fucked up but literally all i want is for you to hold me and tell me nothing matters and all i want is for you to look over at me abd sincerely think im beatiful and all i want is for you to love me. but that will never happen. because im scared. and because i love you enough that i would rather get to have you as a friend than not at all and i beg you please forget you read this. i hope you didn't find this. even if it's just this websites fucking algorythm reading this i just need someone to know that i don't know how much longer i can pretend that i only love you platonically. and jesus christ i feel to young to be feeling this intensely but i cant help that and im so sorry and if you will please fucking forget that you read any of this.

if you ever see this message from a growing curiosity, know that i love you more than anything in this world, and you have saved me from ending me, and i’m forever grateful for that.

i hate you. i just need you to know that, you're a horrible person and throughout all the lies and excuses i hope she was worth it.

The last thing I said to you was that I hated you, when really I loved you. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life

i wish you loved me back then when i loved you.. we could’ve been amazing together. but you had your attention on someone else, i’m sorry i wasn’t enough for you

hey, just want to let you know;you’re perfect in every way, your smiles makes my days better amd your eyes are everything but dull smh, i hope one day i can call you mine :,)

at the time I thought you were cool but now I’m more mature I realise you manipulated me and you pressured me into doing loads of things I wish I hadn’t done. I hate you for lying to me and breaking my trust. Do you know how hard it is to trust people now. I see you with ur new girlfriend one after the other in quick succession. I hate myself for being one of those. I hate you because I know what you’ll do to them and I feel bad for them because they were once me

i realised that you never actually wanted me. all you wanted was the idea of me. you don’t care about me enough to continue things and i know that if another girl liked you you’d be gone in a second. it was never going to work. you never matched my energy. i’d say something i felt really emotional and heartfelt and most times i would get an “ah” or a one sentence reply. we’re not the same kind of people and it hurts that i can never change you to be the person i wanted you to be. i just have to let you go and it sucks. i realised that you never really cared about me emotionally and were always looking out for yourself. but it’s fine. you’re a sweet guy . i wish you nothing but the best. lots of love

I still hear your voice, it runs through my head all the time. I see your face everywhere I look. You broke my fucking heart and I said sorry. I don’t know what I did to deserve the hell you put me through, I couldn’t have done to you what you did to me. I wish I could just stop thinking about you. It’s been 9 months. If you ever see this, I miss you but fuck you.

I don’t know how I feel about you anymore. I don’t know if I’m settling for you because I’m afraid of change or if I still love you and need you around in my life whether we are together or not. It hurts. I can’t even be true to myself anymore.

Even though you hurt me like i have never been hurt before, i will always have love for you. We were never meant to be but thank you for the good times. You taught me how to love and im thankful for that.

I like you a lot, and Im pretty sure you feel the same way but thats somethint I’ll never be completely sure about, ik we dont have much chance to talk anymore like we used to, I do still think about you.

I still think of you and what you did for me. A piece of me will always love you. You mean the world to me still.
I still miss you sometimes but no one is really that surprised.

You took my virginity because I reminded you of Willow. Seriously, screw you. Get out of my dreams. Release me.