Unsent messages to ANTHONY

Im sorry i couldn’t give you a chance. I know how much you liked me but I just couldn’t feel the same way towards you. I hope you find a girl that sees all those wonderful things about you. I still pray for you.

I'm sorry my anxiety ruined everything. I love you so much. Nobody will ever take your precious place. I hope you're doing good. I still fantasise about our home, children, true love.

I’ll never want someone as i wanted you. You were a stranger that became a big part of my life. There was something abt you i saw in nobody else. you probably hate me but i will always love you. i wish nothing but happiness in your life. thank you for the great memories

what we had was so beautiful. i will always look back on our memories fondly even though we don't talk anymore. the thought of you makes me smile. i want good things for you. i miss you. i wish you wanted me back.

I will never understand why you did what you did. Was it worth it to waste away 2 years? What you did can never be undone. But thank you for leaving, you made me realize there is so much more out there.

remember the mid winter walk we took when we stopped under the streetlight, listening to Yellow by Coldplay? thanks for these memories I promise I’ll never forget them.

I miss our memories, I just wish you loved me like i loved you. I’m glad you’re happy with her. I’ll always wish you the best

remember when u used to chill n eat in ur bathroom all the time but then one time u dropped ur muffin lol

come back. i miss you, all the times we were with eachother, the cuddles the times we would go on walks and look into eachothers eyes and know we were home. i love you i miss you.

You’ve left me clueless for years. I'm always here whenever you want me and always make myself available to you but I don't think you'll ever be ready for me. I'm tired of being used. Why can't you see that? You have always told me I'm different and unique and so beautiful but why can’t you just make us work? Why is it always me chasing after you when you pursued me first? Why am I always the one left clueless and confused and just heartbroken?

You’re still my first and last thought every day and I wish I was enough for you. I wish distance didn’t get in the way and I wish you would’ve loved me like I loved you. I love you bebé. If you ever see this, just know you will always hold a special place in my heart.

your smile just makes me forget everything, i miss you and i hope you’re doing good, even if i’m not happy, i hope you are

You will always have a special place in my heart. I miss you and i want you to know i never regretted meeting you

i loved you through it all... from the moment i met you i knew i’d fall in love with you. i just wish you loved me back

i miss you even though we don’t talk anymore. i can’t have feelings for anyone else because im still not over you. i miss you.

I want you back I love you. I miss what we had. I miss the old you. I don’t miss who you are now. I hope you find someone great. Miss you lots

I know you will never see this because your dumb boy that doesn't understand that a girl has feelings for you when it was so obvious. I know for a fact you saw how I treated other boys and then how I treated you, how I looked at other boys and how I looked at you. half of the messages under my name make me wish they were from you. the only boy I ever meet that wasn't so fucking dumb was the first boy I ever liked. he figured it out I liked him, he didn't like me, but it didn't ruin our friendship and he never made anything awkward, I finally got over it and we still remained best friends. I love him for that but hate him for making me believe all boys were like that, he gave me false hope. I hope you know you lost a damn good friend by just cutting me out of your life, fuck you.

i fucking wish i could text u all this myself but i just cant. i miss u always. and we will both never really know our feelings for each other. the distance is just tearing us apart and deep down we know that this will never work out. so many mixed emotions that we will never tell each other.im sorry and i love you always

I still remember the day you said I was your everything. I didn’t know that was gonna be the day I was gonna see you for the last time.

i want to text u but i think that would be weird lol. i feel like we could’ve had something special, but it just wasnt the right timing i guess. i do miss u. i hope you’re happy :)

when you chose her over me, it really broke me. I cant believe I lost to the girl who knew I loved you

Yes you ant, why did I have to love the idea of you but not you, I am so sorry. I know you fucked up too but I miss you in this life. I hope you’re happy living with someone or something that makes you proud. I forgive you. I do. Everything that happened. I love you. I actually love you so much. So damn much. You were/ are my soulmate. I miss you. I need you. But I can’t keep waiting in this life. I love you. I never stopped even after everything. I love you. I love you. I love you.

This week is your only week to make things better. I want to see that you’re trying and that you want me. I want you to chase me for once. I’m tired of sprinting after you all the time.

You treat my week for thirty minutes and than I might as well not exist for the rest of the day and I’m deluding myself into thinking I’m happy with you because I love you. I use to choose me over men and not chase, but you’ve done something to me and I can’t let you go. Wtf.

I think about you all the time. I wish you gave me as much attention as I gave you. All I want is some of your time bb.

I know you used me for my body but I still wanted more I wanted to love each other I wanted to lay in your arms again where I felt comfortable I wanted to love you loudly or silently I want to feel your touch again I miss you maybe someday we can be something

when u called me toxic and manipulative, that hurt. why would you say that after i just got out of the hospital? im not my mental illness, just how you arent your depression. please dont stigmatize and demonize bpd anymore, and do research. if you read this someday, i hope you’ve matured since then and realize ur actions were in the wrong. i’ll always love you, regardless of what you did to me at the end. im sorry you cant love me with bpd. i know if i didnt have it you’d be here now. ive sent this same message with ur full name btw.

You were the first boy I ever fell in love with. Thank you for showing me what love feels like. I hope she makes you happy.

when people ask me what my biggest fear is i’ve always said elevators. this morning i realized i don’t remember what your laugh sounds like and that was 10 times more terrifying than any elevator i’ve ever been on

I could hold your heart better than she can
It would always be safe
It would always be loved
Oh Anthony

i'm so lonely without u. it's been a year since u broke my heart. i don't know why it still hurts. i love u. sorry we didn't get married